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So with the introduction of http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/choice-of-bariatric-procedure-a-philosophy-obtained-in-20-years-of-bariatric-practice-2/ I am now questioning my decision. 

I have selected to have Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass. I'm now wondering if the Duodenal Switch is the right path for me. I can only go by what I read and what I'm told by previous patients. There's so much information. It's overwhelming. The DS wasn't even a listed option at the Bariatric program I attend. I imagine it is possible, but why isn't it an offered option? 

I have a feeling I'll be on the phone with the surgeon today either reconfirming my surgical option or at least getting my questions answered that have arisen because of the article mentioned above. If I am still learning new information like this, is my decision completely informed? Is there anything else I don't know? I have read the programs information exhaustively, and I have searched and searched for all information both factual and anecdotal. I guess I missed DS completely during my gathering. Perhaps it's  not an option for me? Moreover, the statistics listed in the article are  alarming. I guess I think as I really did in the beginning that everyone that has gastric surgery for weight loss becomes their projected

Yesterday we had our first show of the year. It's not a stressful job, but the first is always like dusting cobwebs off of a forgotten cottage. We do Henna and the girls last night were very pleased - and so were we. 

The stressful part of the day was finding out 10 pieces of inventory are gone, and they were ten pieces that took me months to create. I wood burn different items for sale while we do our Henna and I'm just really bummed. I guess I better get back to work. But if any of you are artists, you can commiserate with me mourning the loss of these pieces. 

I did not eat emotionally and binge through the rest of the day. THAT IS AMAZEBALLS. Sorry, I don't always use these words but you have to understand waking up today to realize I made it through that is absolutely amazing and warrants a funny word. 

Second part of my death defying act was that my booth was placed directly next to the buffet!!!!! All night - spaghetti wafting into my face. At one point my associate was speaking to me, and I said "Sorry can't hear you, smelling spaghetti." It made us laugh at least. She is also on a losing journey, and we all made it out of there without a plate of bread and spaghetti or CAKE. OR a plate of brownies that my sister forgot when she left us, three of us stood there and looked at it like crack and then threw the damn thing in the garbage. WE WERE WOMEN WARRIORS last night!!!!!!!

I'm just glad to get to the other side of that stress and be able to feel accomplished, it's a fantastic feeling.  I'd like to add a walk to my routine today and focus focus focus. 

Have the BEST weekend, everyone. 

My surgery is scheduled for May 10, 2013. I'm excited for it to get here. Surprisingly enough it makes it easier to stay on this diet because I have to be ready for surgery. Before I had the date, I didn't feel the same urgency. 

Protein shakes are decent. I learned that I should not try to mix a scoop of protein  mix in with a slim fast, they just don't want to mix - I imagine it's due to the emulsifier soy lecithin in Slimfast. Anyway, will not be attempting that atrocity again. Skim milk or water and a scoop should do just fine. I am concerned with the carb factor in milk at all really. I find myself more inclined to switch to water soon. Any   carbs not from veggies makes me crave more. This has always been a problem.

I was actually told I probably wouldn't be in the hospital more than 24 hours. I was shocked and pleased. I never sleep well away from home, once they stop giving me pain medication to help with the sleeping I imagine I will want my own bed. 

Concerned with my family's participation after surgery. My kids are at stage where they are fighting me hard on doing the normal routine stuff and including chores. I don't want to be stressed, I want to be calm and relaxed so I can heal properly. They are a source of stress right now at ages 12, 13 and 15. The 12 year old is 13 at the end of May too. So many things they need, want and have to do right NOW. Unfortunately for this time, they will not be my focus and their Dad will be taking the reins. Its just the way it has to be. It's just a small break in the what seems like an eternity of raising them that also seems to be going by too fast at the same time, I'm sure they'll be fine. I do love them so much, but mom just needs some peace. 

I had a bad bad pain day yesterday. It was all I could do to keep myself out of bed. Aches everywhere, to the bone. Makes slow prep work for my show today. Our company does Henna Tattoos and its our first fundraiser for 2013 as the weather is getting nicer here in Michigan. I'm very excited for today! Still wish I could find a steady job, no call back on the interview I just had. Ah well. The universe is aligning the stars just perfectly for me and I will be patient but persistent. 

I have been waiting forever it seems, but I know it hasn't been that long. I see the surgeon for the last time today to sign paperwork for my surgery and to schedule the date. I'm nervous but more than anything I just want to get this show on the road. 

Cold feet, yes - here and present. I know my decision is the right one. I've been considering this option for too many years. I know in 2005 when I check into it it was not a covered benefit for me at the time. I was shocked to find out this time I was good to go with minimal out of pocket costs.

Finally, I also received my shipment yesterday from Bariatric Advantage. I have all of my vitamins ready to go, I still need to purchase the protein product from them as well. I currently still have probably 20 days left of my Bodylogix Natural Dark Chocolate Whey Protein. I will use up current products before switching. 

I just want to do this. Now. 

My last post  was over a week ago. I made it through that weeks walks, but I also included a 2 mile walk in there and its put me out of commission for the past 8 days with pulled muscles in left calf and right heal. I didn't hurt too bad coming down my stairs today so today I will return to walking. 

I was doing really well, saw a 15 lb loss, but in this week of not walking I've gained half of it back with my poor choices. My feet swelled because of my bad choices. A whole big mess I am today. I'm going to get this back under control.

I received a call from the Surgeons office yesterday and they appointed me to see him next Wednesday for my final visit with paperwork to sign for surgery. I'm not ready to just go into surgery at this point because I have not been following the two week diet. I  chose to wait until that last appointment with the surgeon. 2 weeks from that date would put my surgery at May 8. We shall see. 

I also had a job interview amidst all of this and am hopeful to hear back. It's not easy looking for work after being at home with my kids for the last seven years. I feel like I am begging for a Dental Office to hire me !! I have over 15 years experience as an assistant of all aspects of dentistry including front desk/insurance verification/treatment planning. I will keep my hopes up.

Today I just want to drink enough water and get enough protein in so that my body can have the nutrition it needs to be healthy. 

From 4-1 to 4-7 I took three more walks, and this week I have already taken one walk, and will meet my goal of three by Saturday. Friday we plan on going fishing and I will walk afterwards along the lake. 

I haven't been having too much trouble with my food, I've lost some weight but I don't think I'll lose this week as I completely go full on to my 2 week presurgical diet Monday April  15. I've been integrating with smaller portions and protein shakes but have had a few things that definitely go over the no more than 3 g fat, 20 g Carb, and meets enough protein to get my total in for the day all in just a couple tablespoons. 

I started this last night, but became utterly exhausted and couldn't see straight. I'm rested this morning and ready to read this entire binder I've been given by our Bari. Program. I do not have my surgical date yet. I had hoped to get it yesterday but all of the reports I was counting on being present for my appointment did not make it there even though I was diligent in calling and hounding these offices to fax the information. I took one more test in fact yesterday afternoon and that was my Pulm. Function Test. Had the most awesome tech for that and she used to work with my surgeon actually. Turns out he's quite a guy and a total ring leader for the teams he works with. I love his aura and I'm told he even sings at their patient dinners and such. Class act and excellent in his field. I'm happy with my choice to have him do my surgery. Skills + Excellent Bedside Manner = Success in my book. Also the hospital staff and the programs staff are all amazing people. 

I can't remember everything I wanted to say, but I know that I'm in the home stretch now and its just a matter of all of the information being in one place finally. I've used my cpap for 8 days now and have been more active and done more exercise than I have in several years. My mood is improving and the ups and downs are not so frequent, steady feelings and just a little emotional once in a while because I'm a passionate person. I feel solid in my decisions and keep looking forward to moving more and doing more as the weight comes off. 

My ability to cope with all of these things has been helped immensely by not only this community but a Facebook support group as well. I have yet to attend any at the hospital, but this will come post op. without a doubt because there are checkpoints I would like to reach and say, hey I did this - and I will continue to do this because this is my life we're talking about here! 

Have  a good day everyone. 

I've had a bad couple of days with my eating, triggers everywhere. I haven't gained but I imagine I won't lose this week. Today I cook for my family and three guests. I don't think I really have an issue with these family dinners so much. Anymore I couldn't eat more than one plate anyway, this year I am going to use a toddler plate with 1/8 cup servings to taste. 

I am challenged daily about my conviction towards this surgery by family. Each time I ask them to walk this journey with me and encourage me on my path. They don't want me to change my body in this way. They want me to be healthy, but they don't seem to want me to do it this way. 

I continue to educate them about this process and myself for that matter. 

I am still okay with having this surgery and all appointments have been made/kept. 

This past week I took a walk on three of the days. I want to walk three days again this week. It's not overwhelming and I'm not asking too much of myself. 

Discipline and control will be my mantra today. 

My mind is in the game. Today and for the rest of my life. I accept my mistakes and learn from them. I'm stressed as hell and I'm keeping busy. I'm not eating my stress today. That's all. I just wanted to share that. Don't eat your stress, it tastes bad. Like really bad, and it goes straight to your hips. No joke. 

First of all, today is my third day of walking exercise and I'm am very pleased with myself for this. 

Second, I just finished my night at the sleep clinic again, this time with use of the CPAP. 

I found out the final results of the first test and was amazed to learn that I was waking twice a minute for a total of 120 times an hour where my oxygen saturation levels would drop to 81 and thankfully recover, however briefly. 

Tonight I slept great, had three REM cycles and my oxygen levels were consistently between 93-95 saturation. I only woke once in a panic trying to remove the mask otherwise it went great. 

I stayed on my back while they got the air flow right but after a while of discomfort because I don't sleep that way, I switched to my side and that's all there was to the night. I feel amazing this morning. I haven't had REM sleep in years. I am so grateful for this process. 

I feel like I can take on the world today, seriously. I am very confident that this is going to make a world of difference in my journey. 

Also, I am grateful for Obesityhelp.com forums for answering and giving me first hand accounts of their experience with CPAP machines. Because of you wonderful people, I knew the right questions to ask. No confusion. I am ever grateful. 

Happy Day 

Today I said I wanted to walk and tonight I went for a walk with my husband. 15 minutes around our block. Will go again tomorrow. Motivation is my struggle, but I am making it easier to just go. I have all my things ready and the dogs leash doesn't have to be found, it's all ready. I just have to walk on out the door. I can do this again.