taking it one day at a time

Apr 09, 2012

 I am honestly trying to make changes everyday.  I want to be healthy and happy.  I want a better out look on life and on who I am.  Easter dinner went along fine.  For once, I did not have to host the dinner.  I went to my sister-in-laws house, a 2 and half hour drive from my house.  It was a long ride, I was in pain, but it was well worth it.  My sister-in-law had just moved into a beautiufl estate.  The dinner was wonderful.  The conversations were not awkward or dull.  It was a nice visit.  I had control over what I was putting on my plate.  There was an abundance of food and desserts, but I stuck to my guns and made some good choices.  No desserts, no alcholic beverages for the toasting of the dinner.  

I am still anxious about going further with this journey.  I wish I could have the surgical date already so I can make plans on what my children need to do, on who is going to watch over my youngest while I am in the hospital. I am OCD about planning and making sure everything is taken care of.  

I have also tried to do more walking, even if it is only in my home at the moment.  I am not a couch potatoe anymore.  I do get tired. I am always out of breath, but I sit down when I need too.  I make sure I don't over do anything to the point that I am doing more harm then good.  I have also been cutting down on my pain medications.  However, now I rely on topical creams for pain relief and warm baths to soothe my sore muscles.  It is not doing much, but at least I feel that I have some control over the pain.  I really want this to work for me.  I know this is my last resort.  I know that this will not cure my pain.  I hope that it helps my health issues.  That is the main reason for my choice.  I want to live a healthier life, I want to be around for my children.  I would like to see them graduate high school, go on to college, grow into their careers, and eventually get married and become a top notch grandmother.  In order to accomplish my goals, I need to take the first step to better health. I need to gain my self esteem back.  Does anyone out there understand?

0 Comments