mdjalexander

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It's me again... I have been doing okay. The best thing that I could have done was giving this to GOD. Once I did that, I didn't worry about my weight as much and I was able to loose the weight I gained and was the same weight when I went back for my consent meeting. It was very informal and he even makes you consent to having a police officer pick you up if you don't follow up with your after care post op. I have my upper GI and Chest X-ray on thursday of this week coming. After that she is going to have me come on on June 26th and do my last weigh in and she told me she would submit my paper work to Aetna. She was also give me a surgery date at that time. I am faithful that it will come back in a timely manner and of course my favor. Talk about doing to much....I also want to have Lasik Surgery to correct my vision. I want to have that as soon as possible, but my husband is like you don't think that is too much. Truth be told it is, but that is what my parents should have named me. 2 Much, I have always taken on to much and to be honest I do not no any other way. Oh well, the 3 months is almost over and I have those times when the reality sits in, and I remember that I have to find another hobby for when I get bored cause food isn't going to be it real soon. Nonethless, I am ready to have the surgery and I am not nervous at all. Then again it is way to far in advance to be anyway. To be honest I am looking forward to the time off, I have a very demanding job. Until the next time GODSPEED.
Peace Out!

I have posted in a minute. I haven't been able to maintain my weight loss, and then I had an appointment where I had gained back like 6 lbs and he was like just try to maintain until I get approved. That MAINTAIN business is difficult. Anyhoo, I go back on June 8th to do my 2 hour consent meeting. BTW he wanted me to maintain b/c he didn't want my BMI to go to low, insurance companies have alot of red tape. I will do my bestess, to try and loose what I have gained so far by the time I see him next week. Got sick with the flu and I was also dehydrated. I haven't been feeling my best. I was all super anxious to get this 3 month diet thing out of the way so that I can get approved. Now I am like well, aint nothing i can do to move time forward so I mine as well chill and enjoy life before that time comes. Nonetheless, I am hanging in there with what little energy I have and trying not to complain cause I could be doing a whole lot worse. Until the next time folks. GODSPEED
Peace Out!!

Howdy folks,

I am happy to report that I did loose all 11lbs and 1 more. I worked my a** for those pounds. So  I go to see the Doc and I'm like hey I lost the weight and he said of course "good girl"! He said that he knew that I was concerned about going down to low, and not being approved by the insurance company, and I'm like yea.... So, then he was like well you don't have much longer before we can do the consent meeting. I said great, cause I am ready to get this party started. So I go to the front desk and Michelle is calculating my BMI and she was like. "ok your BMI is at 38, I am going to ask Dr Y, about you" I was like ok...why, then she told me that the insurance company had denied a lady because her BMI was 34, but she came in at 42 and she had comorbid's. They denied her because she was under 35 on her BMI, after doing her 6month supervised diet..I was like what the hell is that???? I said well then good you ask him about me cause I ain't trying to make this harder on myself. She said you might have to gain a littile bit....I was like HELL YEAH, let me know cause that is my speciality and I can d*mn sure make that happen. Anyway so I see him next week and I also see the nutrionist and she told me she would let me know. If your wondering I don't have any MAJOR comorbidities so that is why she wants to ask him about my BMI.
I will let you know, cause I have Aetna, well folks until the next time...PEACE OUT.

Alrigh folks here it goes, on the last post I had to loose 11lbs in 9 days....right? Well it has been 5 days and I have lost 9 lbs so far. Yeah, you think....? Hell NO! It has been the hardest damn thing I have ever done. Let me tell you what my last few days have been like.

Wake up drink about 12 oz of water with a chitosan (it makes you feel full) followed by a slimfast lowcard drink (20 g of protein) 180 calories
After that drink the rest of the water with:
2 - Cortotrim
2- fat burner
1 - Vitaman C
1- Biotin
1- Multivitamin
Then I have another slimfast shake around 1pm followed with another round of:
2- Cortotrim
2- Fat burners
1 - Vitamin C
and yep...you guessed it 640z of water. 
Then at 3pm I walk for an hour briskly...
I have another slimfast shake on my way home only to.....drum roll please.....return to another hour of working out after I get home.
Then I have one more DAMN slimfast shake...... and 2 chewable fiber tablets and off to bed I go!!

So that is how one looses 
4 lbs by Friday morning
another 3 by Saturday morning
Lost 2 Sunday morning
Gained back 1 on Sunday night 
Loose 2 on tuesday morning.
***total of 740 calories for the day while working out for 2 hours a day**Not including my normal day activity.

I have 2 more lbs to loose before I see him on Friday and trust me I have no desire to do this again.  

They brought in fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, chips, chex mix, chips and soda today at my job. Guess what...I didn't have one darn bite, all I thought about is not loosing those last 2 lbs. I will have this surgery come hell or high water. Then I had another meeting scheduled at 12, in which they brough in chick-fil-a I sent my team lead to fill in for me....thats right DEVIL , YOU ARE A LIAR.

I will update this again on Friday with the results of my last 2 lbs...and trust me I will have lost them, because that is all I am willing to accept.. Failure is not an option!!! 

Peace Out!

I had a doctors appointment today and I knew that I had gained some weight but I had no idea how much I gained. I started going to him on 3/26/07 I went back for my folow up visit on 4/12 and had lost 9 lbs. I go back today and gained 11 lbs. I was like SH*T. He was upset but not mean, and was like you need to loose this weight before you 1month check up which is, yep you guessed it, 9 days. If I don't loose this weight then the insurance company will not approve my surgery. He can't really send that multidisciplinary documentation of 3 months showing that I gained weight. So I have to drink 4 Slimfast shakes a day the ones that only have 2 carbs. I need to work out atleast 45 minutes. He didn't think that I can do it. So after I left his office, Called my husband crying telling him that I was headed to Walmart to buy the slimfast shakes and I have to drink those only for the next 9 days...NO FOOD. I have to drink water, and chew fiber tablets because you know damn well I am going to be consitpated. I also am going to have to work out twice a day and on the 2 days before I go back to him on next friday I am going to work out with a plastic bag to sweat out some of that water weight.  

The problem is I knew damn well that I had gained weight, but I honestly didn't think it was that much. I also had told myself a lie, which was that I really didn't have to follow the pre-op diet to much because I wasn't the patient that required to loose 10% of my body weight. I don't want to screw up having the insurance cover the surgery even though I have other options for paying  for this surgery. Ain't no use in crying over spoiled milk, just have to buckle down and get it done.... I have a major set back, but I will just have to getterdun!!!! Peace Out!

I had one hell of a day at work. I had one person on my team resign, which didn't suprise me, it was the reason why they stated that they resigned. Whatever!!! I am tired and hungry and all I want is a darn salad. I have been doing terrible on this diet plan, and have to take sleeping pills just so that I can sleep. I just want to have this surgery and made up in my mind last night, or ...should I say that I had an epiphany.  That is, that I am trying to control something that I have no control over. It is really difficult for me. Anyway....that's all I can muster up for tonight.

Signed..
Hungry, sleepy and hungry!

Well I am officially completed with one month of my multidisciplinary program. Hell I only got 2 more months. Wich has been really really dragging by. i feel like a kid when you know your Birthday is coming up and you can't wait. Oh Well, mine as well pipe down. It is friday and I am bored out of my mind. That is very rare for the work that I do. I find myself out on this site, like all of the time. 

I have been reading alot of profile's and some people have it easy when it comes to getting insurance approval and some have such a battle. One thing that I notice is that it appeared to be a little easier getting approved back in 01 and 02. It appears that from about 05 up until now the insurance company has made it a little tougher. No Biggie, it will all fall in place.  That is where alot of my concern is right now.....for me it is the unknown that makes me so anxious. 

Most of the people I have spoken to that has already had the surgery and are in their mid 30's and 40's say that they wish they had done it sooner. I can completely understand that. I am in the stage of my life where alot of focus is being placed on my weight and it is not going away and I have tried all kinds of things. I know one thing for sure, I do not want to spend the rest of my 20's and life obsessing about my weight. So if i have to pay for it my damn self, that is exactly what I will do. Besides, I am sure it will be worth the investment.  Well thats all I have for now......while I hurry up an wait.......

I haven't posted in a while and kind of had some down time and I am going to write. My husband and BF told me to give this to GOD and I did last week and because I was headed back in my depression stage, I knew it was past time to seek the comfort of a higher power. I struggle with what people may think, which is really not like me, because I have been able to accomplish so much by doing things with out the pressure of nay-sayers. This time it is a little different because I am not as big as some people who have had the surger and I am relatively healthy. I know what is possible in my future, and I a have also now understand that I have been overweight and now I am obese.  At this point I know this is why I want to have and my preference is to have insurance cover this procedure if not I am prepared to take care of it myself.
Some things that I want or look forward to after WLS and reaching my goal:
---Feel comfortable in my own skin
---Wear shorts
---Go on vacation and swim and not be ashamed to wear a bathing suit
---Get out of the house more, I am a complete home body
--- Wear a size 4 or 6 (big but..got it from my momma)
---Go shopping in San Marco (in Jacksonville, FL) ritzy part of town where old money, the clothes you find there you definately won't see in the mall.
---Have my husband go shopping for me and be able to buy clothes for me
---Wear a kick a** pair of jeans, because jeans are my favorite and I have a nice shape.
---Finally weigh less than my husband by atleast 40lbs, I have always weighed more than him.
---Stop comparing myself to other women.
---Stop wishing I had other women who are thinner, attributes and be completely satisified with my own.
---Have the energy to travel more
---Be able to SHOP SHOP SHOP, I have a great sense of style, so I will be able to that off more.
---Look forward to other things in life without obsessing about my size. Truly a burden lifted.!!!! 
With that said I praise GOD now for all of things I have listed to come true....can't wait!!!

I had a rough day a work, and I also had an appointment with my surgeon. I lost 7 lbs which I am sure is water weight. I told him don't get happy cause that won't be the case all of the time that I come in there. Also he wanted to see my breathing I told I had been practicing and he made me show him and I was able to get it up past 4000. He said my breathing was great and that he could get me scheduled in 2 weeks if I was a cash patient. Well I wish I could go in 2 weeks, but I do not have 20 grand at my disposal. I am really starting to get concerned about my insurance. I was ok at first but now I am really really concerned. I have no co-mordities, just a BMI that is over 40. I have to wait until June 26th for my 3-month mulidisciplinary thing that I have to do because of my insurance, I would gladly wait if I knew for sure that I was going to get approved. Oh well, I will just need to wait. Atleast my baby had a good day today. I am proud of her, she is such a sweet girl and she really loves her mommy. I bet these next few months are going roll on like molasses, slow as hell. Just ready for the weight loss journey.

I managed to go to work today cause I didn't want to hear the dogs barking all day.  I go to see Dr.Y  on Thursday and I just finish updating my journal as he will want to review it. I have manage to breathe 40 times in my breathing thing. I still have 60 more to go and it is 8:43 pm. I am so cold and tired and I am just ready to get my approval, then I could feel better. Oh well, just have to hurry up and wait. 

Meanwhile I am just trying to do the best I can with my multi-discplinary 3 mth thing I have to do. Which include eating less than 1200 calories a day and walking for 30 minutes everyday.
Thank GOD for Tivo atleast I could watch Oprah as I walked on my treadmill. 
I went to maggiano's for lunch (of course not my choice) for a business lunch and I got a salad. It was good but it sure ain't Lasagna.

Weird I almost wish I doing some testing atleast I would know that it was closer to the surgery date.