mdjalexander

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I am now able to eat real food. Its been hit or miss with me. Seems like the first time I eat I am able to eat my food really well. Then as the day goes on I seem to get food stuck and you know whats next.  I have lost about 20 pounds and for me I think the inches are coming off faster than the scale is moving. Some time I wonder if I will loose the weight. I feel like I am going to get stuck at 180 and the scale isn't going to move. I will wait and see. I got my G-tube taken out and that was uncomfortable. Then my surgeon gave me a shot of cortizone in my incision to help the scare go down some. Other than that I am good. I just wish the food didn't get stuck.

Well what can I say, things have certainly improved and I have returned to work. I had to complete 3 days this week and then I will be flying out next week to visit a client. I go back to my surgeon on September the 4th and I am sure I will have dropped at least 6 lbs. I am under 200 and because I gained and lost so much I have clothes in my closet up until atleast a 12. Then I will have to by more. I have been moving around more and he would like for me to do an 1hr of exercise but I decided not to push it because I just started work this week so I wan't to give myself some time to get acclimated. I have had a few people notice that I have lost weight. Most folks don't know what I had and I don't feel its necessary to tell people I don't associate with about my medical procedure. If you do " rock out and do you" I am private. I get on the scale atleast once a week because dammit I can. I haven't become obsessed because in a way I am scared to get below 185 because that is the lowest I have been in years.....years you hear me. And then anything after that is the un-known to me. Sounds crazy but, true. The best part of the surgery for me so far has been that I no longer have to always think about and agonize over what I am going to eat because I will pick up weight. It's nice not to be thinking about what I am going to eat all the time and whether or not it will make the scale jump up. Being around other people that eat doesn't bother me either, as long as I don't have to worry about my clothes fitting tight by next week I am as cool as a breeze. Until next time Peace out.

Hell All,

Things have gotten better, I had to find different tricks of the trade to make my self comfortable. The hard part for me this week has been keeping on top of my feedings, because if I don't I get very lathergic and all I want to do is sleep. All of my staples have been removed. I can not WAIT until the G-tube is removed. I messed around and pull on it accidently and it felt like somebody kicked me in my stomach! Literally....not a good feeling. Oh well my house has been a mess because my husband and his father put in ceramic tile in my kitchen and then I am having the rest of my house being completed with hard wood floors.  So its a mess and I have to go back to work on the 22nd. Woopee! Then I have to fly out the following week to go and visit a client in Chicago. I hope they don't think I have a bomb in my stomach.... Until the next time....I'm going to sip on me some water.

Well what can I say, it has been difficult for me this first week. Not in the sense of complications, just being tired and uncomfortable has been hard and also being thirsty. Just wanting to be able to swallow a sip of water is a luxury right now that I can't afford. I ended up needing a shot in my hip every 6 hrs for pain because the liquid pain medicine was not absorbing. When I woke up in recovery I remember asking myself what have I done to myself.  I am trying to stay and encourage and think about the blessing in this journey. I will say that to be honest I am so not thrilled and just am waiting for better days. One thing I remember is everybody saying that it will get better and I just try to keep that in mind. For my own experience it has been hard.

Well I haven't posted in a while, I 've been busy trying to not do a damn thing. LOL. An-t-wayz, I am kind of ready to get it on over with. I am having short timers syndrome at work, chilling my last 2 days before I am out on medical leave. I spent all day Sunday writing my teams reviews so that I would have that completed. Suprisingly I haven't gained any weight or lost any. I am suppose to be doing the liquid diet, which is difficult for me not because I am hungry, but because when I don't eat I don't feel good and can't sleep either. Doesn't matter atleast I haven't gained anything. I did get my weave done, and it looked fierce. While I was off I also got a pedi and mani. I am going to need to do some shopping this weekend to get the remainder of the things I will need for surgery. My twins Birthday is tomorrow and I will get them some things and I have ordered a Power Ranges cake for them. I was going to get some Pizza as well, but I might take them to this burger joint that has a 1960's theme which is unique and the food is really good. YES I am going to have a hamburger if I do decide to go because I will be taking a laxative anyway before the surgery. Wash it on out my system. I recieved PRK on one of my eyes and I am wearing a contact in the other. I will need to get a non-prescription lense in my glasses because I can not wear contacts during the surgery. Thats all I have for now, Peace Out

I have to lose weight of course before the surgery, and where as some folks are having there last enjoyable meal. I can not afford it on the account that I gain weight supper quick. So I have kind of been doing a liquid diet or should I say a liquid for 2 of my meals and eating 1 of the meals. I haven't even felt like counting down the days. Actually I have been more excited about my getting my weave and lasik surgery than I am about having the surgery. Sure I am not ungrateful, its just that I am about to loose one of my closest friends and confidant...FOOD. I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do with my self after the surgery. I use to be like "ok I'm be wearing this and that" Now I'm like I hope I don't have any sagging skin and my legs don't look funny and what size will I be? My doctors goal is 120, I don't ever remeber being that weight. I was like 140 in middle school and I wore like a size 6 or 7. I don't know what to expect on that front. All I know is I feel like I have very great taste with clothes and I want a pair of calf high boots , and I don't think you are going to be able to tell me anything. LOL. That has been the only thing that I can look forward to. I was all ready to be on the loser side....I can say that I am not excited anymore. I'm not worried about the surgery and I don't know that I should be. I am truly am in mourning of losing my best friend.....

Since I have been approved I have been pigging out and subconsciously eating when I am not hungry. I had a bad dream where my DH invited some people over to the house and they were about to eat and and I couldn't. Truth is that could come true, which is ok because by then I will have had my surgery I won't have an appetite. I have a doctor's appt tomorrow and I will weigh in and he will place me on a liquid diet until my surgery. I'm ok with that cause I have been preparing myself for him doing that anyway. Truth be told I need to anyway. 

I am not telling the majority of my family, because my past experiences with them knowing things is that everyone has something to say. That doesn't bother me as much, but I generally don't have alot to say and I am pretty quiet until I prompted to say something. I don't hold back meaning I don't try to be brutal, because I believe you can say what you need to say and have tact, but to know my family some times you just have to put it on the table and all tact will get you is folks trying you some more. So after I have the surgery and start loosing weight and they ask I WILL NOT be telling them about the surgery I will be telling the partial truth which will be diet and exercise. Depending on who ask me and if they get on my nerves I will just telling them that I have taken up a new hobbiet...Smoking the pipe!!

If I get one more dang person telling me that I don't look plus size, or I didn't think you would qualify for WLS or any other remark I am going to change my profile to say "I get it from my mama" What can I say.... I manage to carry my weight well because I am blessed to be have a well portioned body. I do carry alot of the weight in my butt and hips and yet most folks wish they had that.  BESIDE THE INSURANCE APPROVED IT AND ARE PAYING  AND ITS NOT COMING OUT OF THE NAY-SAYERS POCKETS...

I say all that to say, I generally don't care about what people think, I happen to be just be a little damn sick and tired of having to think about what I say before I say it and thought I would use this forum to get it off my chest..and I have only had about 500 calories today. 

I am going to go home and walk 30 minutes before I munch on a salad and some jello and carry my ass to bed and repeat those steps up until I have my surgery.  It will be here before I know it. 

Calf high boots for the winter.....here I come!!!!

Alright!!! I  have been approved!!! I called on yesterday and they told me I was authorized....I was like as in approved and they were like yeah!!! So I called my doctor and they said that they didn't get anything yet, but she said they will probably call them later. So I called back again just to make sure the person I spoke to the first time was still asleep when I called the first time because it was like 9am. I called and again she said that it was authorized on June 29th and that a letter went out the same day. 

I will be filling out my leave work soon, and I have made my appointment to get my sew-in weave, so that I don't have to bother with my real hair. Besides I didn't want to get a relaxer and have to deal with that after I have my surgery. I am so excited and I cried and told my husband that I am so grateful for this oppurtunity that God has allowed me.!

I had my last doctor's appt today and they will be faxing all of my paper work off to Aetna this afternoon. I stepped out on faith and put a request out to the universe yesterday and that was that I could have my surgery on July 31st. Sure enough at my appointment today, I asked his admin what the dates are looking like and she said we have one for the 17th of July and the 31st. I said pencil me in for the 31st. I am so so so happy, and I haven't even been approved yet. I am just greatful that I have been able to make it this far. I am greatful for all of the wonderful people that I have met on this journey, and I am greatful for having such a wonderful surgeon. I am hoping that I get my approval by the end of the week. They did tell me that I would really need to loose some weight before the surgery, to make sure they can have room when peforming the surgery and makes for a good incision. Oh well, I will update with my approval as soon as I hear of it.  Peace out.

TGIF, thats all I can say on this happy Friday. I had my upper GI and Chest X-ra completed. That upper GI thing was a trip. You go into this dimmly light room where there is a rotating bed that is laying flat when you come in the room and then they rotate it so that it is sitting up strainght in the air. At that point you get on it, they gave me some fizzy stuff to drink first, it was kind of like Alka Seltzer then they tell you not to burp. WHAT....Forget Burp, try not to gag on this mess. Then they pull the thing that will be taking pictures up close to your chest and stomach area and gvive you the awful dreaded Barium!!! They say drink huge gulps and as you are doing that this machine is taking pictures. Then the machine lies flat...YES..while you are on it. (that was kind of neat) Then here goes the game of simon says....thats right you read it "SIMON SAYS". They told me to roll over so that the Barium will coat my whole stomach, here is the next set of simon says rule.
roll on your right side
breath,..now hold your breath.
Breath, hold your arms up.
Breaht, now hold your breath,
Breath, roll on to your left side.
stay right there, not hold your breath.
Now breath, on your stomach, 
Breath, now hold your breath.
Now hear is some more barium, this one is thinner.
Now Drink...big gulps.
Gulp
Gulp
Ok now rotate back on your right side but put your left arm up here.
Now breath, ok hold your breath.

Yes...damit that went on for about 15 minutes. I wasn't even mad, I was like I am glad that I can comprehend. and follow directions, because you are doing all of this and at the same time trying not to burp, and throw up. If I had ADD, I would have been messed up in there.

Its all good, in a 1 week in a half, I will be done with my 3-month diet and my papers will be sent to Aetna. God willing I will have my approval.

One last thing, I'm done and their like drink lots of fluid cause some folks have issues with their stomach afterwards, and I'm like ,cool. I don't feel anything that whole day. Then this morning I am all up going to the bathroom like 4 times and having white poop. I almost passed out in the bathroom at work, then I remember...oh must be that Barium stuff.... Calm down silly.