idcallie

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am getting better each day since surgery. I am sure the lost weight was immeasurably helpful in my recovery process. The weight loss has slowed to almost a standstill so that has been concerning, but under the circumstances, it makes sense. Once I am able to move around more and resume regular exercise, I am sure it will all level out. Only 18 more pounds to goal.  The triumph is I weigh less now than I have in over twenty years so where I am is a pretty good place to be!!!!!!!

It has been a while since I last posted an update. I ended up having back surgery the end of March and am still recovering.  The weight loss continues slowly as I am now at 148. I have not weighed so little in over 25 years. Amazing...I am learning a lot about myself. The one thing that is absolutely imperative to remember daily is that WLS is just a tool.  I still make choices that either support continued weight loss or I don't. It is always my choice.  At least WLS offered me this choice that I did not seem to have previously. 

It will be almost three months since my surgery and I have lost about thirty-three pounds. ( I was less than 100 pounds overweight...had the surgery due to numerous health problems so seem to be losing much slower than many after the surgery)  Just recently, people have begun to ask me if I have lost weight.  I feel so much better about myself.  It is so surprizing to know that there are no clothes in my size in the larger size departments and I can now buy clothes in a much smaller size. Christmas was more of a challenge than I imagined it would be and I am glad that it is over with. I'm getting back on the right path and the scale has begun to move down again. My biggest challenge has been the fact that I cannot take Feldene anymore and I have severe osteoarthritis.  The pain has been hard to handle at times and I have a hard time sleeping most nights. But, I take Tylenol and hopefully, this will remain manageable.

It has been a week or so since learning I can actually eat more junk, especially those items with sugar. Scary! I don’t want to go back to how it has been all of my life. I was up a pound or so. Not good when I was so encouraged when I had just been trying on size 12 clothes and I am almost in them. I find it hard to believe I have a smaller body. I feel so much better about myself though. T gave me Victoria’s Secret items for xmas. How nice that felt!!!!!! I just want to be normal…

 

I have had a myriad of emotions since the surgery. The scale, while going down, is slow at times and it makes me concerned that this is going to come to a stop and my hopes of being thin will be dashed. Yesterday made me happy because I was able to fit into the pants I wore when T and I were dating initially. That was a huge milestone for me. I have gone through the closets and gotten rid of tons of clothes. My goal is to have one closet of clothes instead of three stuffed closets and then boxes of clothes in other places. I am hoping that if I can stabilize my weight at a number that it is reasonably easy to maintain, I can just stay with favorites instead of having wardrobes for four different sizes as I move up and down…more up than down though!!!!!

I am finding it difficult to get exercise in. In the morning, I am tired. Sleeping is tough because of the pain. Since being unable to take the Feldene, I have a lot more pain. Still trying to find a way to deal with it. In any case, I am also tired and can’t seem to get committed to getting it done. I am continuing to try to get it figured out though.

I feel much more attractive. Even though I have long way to go before I am thin, I am getting more into a normal looking range than before the surgery. It means the world to feel better about myself and not have to hide my body, even from T.

I am up to 181.5. Wow! I just don’t see how I am gaining weight even though I am eating more and feeling more hunger. Still, I sure would not think it would b enough to gain…

IT HAS BEEN A REALLY SLOW month for weight loss. Barely four pounds! I eat more than I did but have been quite good at sticking with items that are low sugar and amounts are regulated. No period this month so wondering if that might be part of the lack of weight loss. I have been half way ok with exercise. When I can get someone at work to walk with me I am good at going. No effort though in using the exercise equipment here in the house. I was pretty affected by a bio I read on obesity help.com about a woman who had initially lost quite a bit of weight and then had put back on 40 pounds. She admitted to eating sweets and generally not keeping with the recommendations. That is soooooooooooooooo scary! I don’t want to become like that person. I have been there too many times before!!!!!!

It seems like such a relief not to ruminate about treats that people bring in the office and leave on the conference table. Before, one bite was too many and there were never enough bites when all I seemed to do is focus on what to eat. That total fascination has been replaced with a remoteness from the need to eat them if I see them. Even though I still think about food and definitely want to eat things that actually appeal to me. I am also equally satisfied with a shake if that is going to be quickest and take away my hunger. I feel very blessed in most ways. The biggest challenge I seem to be facing is the discomfort of gas. I take gas-x, but still struggle with gas pains and getting to the bathroom.

10/22/07

I have had a couple of tough days. I was on the mend and then began having problems with the blood pressure medicine. For the past three days I have done absolutely nothing and no walking. I have tried to step up the eating and increase water, protein and vitamins, but just feel like life is passing me by. I have no desire to do much. I did try to go through my closet and change from the summer wardrobe to the winter on, but besides that, not much. I have started eating a soft food diet hoping it might help me get my energy back. I probably have made progress in that I probably could stand up and not feel nauseous or dizzy though not for long. I stooped taking all of my medications.

 

10/18/07

There have been so many thoughts that have gone through my mind these past days since surgery. Food is still the primary thing I think about! Weird for sure yet I guess entirely understandable since it has been the major topic of my most of my life in combination with the weight. I hope that when real food re-enters my life, I will become more of a gourmet rather than the comfort food addict I tended to be in the past. I have also been watching food shows, which is not something I watched much in the past. I guess if I can't engage in it, I must be enjoying it vicariously through watching these shows.

I try to get out everyday, even for a short walk, but am feeling more tired and shaky. I am not getting the protein I need daily so I am sure that is part of it. I am soooooooooooooo looking forward to the soft food stage. For some reason, I think about eggs alot so I am anxious to have them back in my diet.

I was going to return to work today, but had some issues with my blood pressure yesterday and think I will just wait until Monday when I had originally planned to return.

It has turned cold so the winter clothes will start coming out soon. It is a good thing the weight is going down because otherwise, I was looking at having to buy new clothes that fit. Since I have lots of smaller clothes, I doubt I will have to buy any clothes although I may decide to treat myself to something new here and there. All of my clothes that were bigger than what I wear now, I had gotten rid of the last time thought I was going to be done with gaining weight back. It seems odd that maybe this could really be the last time I have to be overweight since I have been overweight most of my life to varying degrees. The idea of being at a normal weight seems so novel!!!!