Amanda W.

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My little sister Jennifer and her husband had a beautiful baby girl on Saturday.   That means I am finally an aunt!!!!  They named her Allyson Grace and she is just perfect.   She is the first little granddaughter for the family, so she will be a tiny bit spoiled, that's for sure.   My boys are thrilled to have a baby cousin.  I am so happy for my sister.

Well, I had my hysterectomy last Wednesday, and am recovering quite nicely.   Had the laparscopic procedure, so glad the doc was able to do it that way as opposed to open.   I am still sore and bruised, but feeling pretty well.   Now I just have to get with my hematologist again next week and see where my iron levels are, then decide how to manage them.  Hopefully I am done with all these problems, and can get back on track with my energy levels and exercise.  

Well, I had my hysteroscopy/DNC and diagnostic laparoscopic surgeries 2 days ago.  They weren't scheduled for several more weeks, but in the middle of the night Thursday things got so bad that Adam took me to the ER.   My doc decided we shouldn't wait any longer, so he operated the following afternoon.   Not just the unterine fibroids there, but endometriosis Stage 2, as well as adenomeiosis, adhesions and polyps.   No wonder I'd been having so much trouble.   We've decided that a hysterectomy is the best option, so I'll have that in the next few weeks.   In the meantime, I'll have to keep going for my IV iron infusions, to try and keep that in the safe (too low still, but safe) level to get the hysterectomy.   Then maybe I can get back to normal.    The nurse at my hematologist's office  suspected that I may have to come in for iron infusions a couple times a year from now on.   That's fine with me, as long as it's not twice a week like it has been lately.   My arms are full of bruises and holes!    No, once the female issue is resolved, I won't lose so much blood all the time, and it will be much easier to keep my iron and hemaglobin where they should be.    The WLS was NOT the cause of this anemia, the real problem is the blood loss from the female issues.    It's just made it a little more difficult to get the iron back due to the malabsorption.   WLS is AWESOME, and I thank the Lord for helping to have such awesome results with it.  

I am still sore and tired from Friday, so we're not going to church today, and I feel so bad for that.  It's Pastor's Appreciation Day, a really special day for us.   But it can't be helped.    I wish we could be there, but I know they'll have a great day and Mom and Dad can tell us all about it.

Anyway, it was so strange being in the hospital again, first time since gastric bypass surgery.    Such neat WOW moments for me - the hospital gown was WAY TOO BIG!    In the past I couldn't get them wrapped around me once.   Also, moving around was much easier, you know, getting from one bed to the other for surgery, etc.      Practically everything is more comfortable when you are smaller.   Sometimes you just smile and say, "wow."    Nobody really knows what you're talking about or how you feel in your heart in that moment, and that's okay.   They don't have to understand.   It's just an awesome feeling every time.  : )      It makes you remember how difficult things were, and how much easier they are now.   Makes it all worth it.   Makes you say a prayer of thanks that you were able to have WLS and be successful, even though it is such hard work.    Makes tears come into your eyes when you see other obese people around you, dealing with the same struggles that you remember so vividly.   Makes you want to give them a hug and say, I understand just how you feel. 
Next time I write, maybe this will all be over, and I can focus on getting my strength back and get to exercising again.   Love to lose a few more pounds and maybe a few more sizes.     Starting to feel positive again!!!
    

And by the way, it is so amazing to have a BMI under 30.   (barely under 30, but I'll take it)    No more obese.   Knowing that I am overweight never felt so good.    Maybe someday down the road I can be "normal"...but hey, going from a 54 BMI to where I am now is soooooooo wonderful!!!

Just had to brag a little.  : )

It is already April, wow.  I have lost 135 pounds since the beginning of my journey.   I am truly happy with that, although I really want to lose at least 12 more.    However, I have been anemic for the past few months, and it has really slowed down my activity level, which is why my weight loss has stalled I suppose.   I was really getting into exercising and beginning to jog along with my walking, but it's very difficult to do either of those right now.   I have been going to a hematologist for iron infusions twice a week for several weeks now.   It is helping, although it seems slow.     The reason for the iron deficiency anemia is a female issue that really needs resolved, but I've had to keep waiting to try and get my iron and hemaglobin levels up enough so that it's safer for me to get the surgeries required to solve those problems.   Ugh.   It seems like I may have to receive iron through means other than pills for the rest of my life, but that's okay.   I feel confident that my hematologist can help me figure out how to maintain decent levels once they are back up to where they should be.  In the meantime, what were my symptoms of anemia?  Well, the truth is, I didn't even recognize them at first.   I knew they were happening, but just tried to ignore them and chalk it all up to stress.   Some of the symptoms were/are:  extremely cold, very tired, feeling faint, headache, restless leg feeling, achy legs, cannot concentrate or remember, palpitations, mild chest pain, shortness of breath.   Actually, I was thinking this was all due to stress and anxiety and had my pcp increase my Lexapro dosage.   And all the while, it was tha my hemaglobin was tanked.  Iron very low, and ferritin at the bottom of the barrell.   Sure seemed to happen fast, I felt so good for so long after the weight started coming off.    Tomorrow I will have another infusion and blood draw.   I'm praying my numbers are up enough that my ob/gyn can get going on what needs to be done in that area, which will hopefully prevent the anemia from happening again so hard and so quick.    

All that being said, I am still SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy with my weight loss surgery decision, and would do it again in a minute.   My appetite seems to be growing at times, but I think it may have a lot to do with the need to stress eat, as well as hormones playing a role in cravings.   Some days it feels like I can eat a ton, and other days, everything hurts in my pouch.   I try to turn to pretzels sometimes as a crunchy comfort food.   Ouch, they don't sit so well anymore.   Neither does most kinds of breads.   This is a good thing, however.   I want my pouch to grouch at me when I make wrong choices.   However, I have tested the waters a little on sugar, and most of the time it doesn't bother me too much.   There has been a time or two that I have had palpitations after eating a little sugar, so I think that may have been a little dumping.   But I really need to suffer when I test the waters with sugar, because that was my MAJOR downfall before wls.     I must clarify, I have not tested the waters much, and I stay with sugar free and no sugar added for most everything.   I even made it through my second Easter without a single Cadbury Egg or Peanut Butter Egg.    I must pat myself on the back, because I was soooo tempted.   LOL.   I am enjoying fruit now so much more than ever, so this is a good sweet choice that I can live with.  : )
I'm not so tempted with fatty stuff, except that I LOVE peanut butter and have to watch myself in eating too much.  

One thing I must admit, I am struggling to control myself when it comes to shopping for clothes.   I have plenty of things to wear right now, but every time I go to the store I want to buy something else.  Doesn't matter what... tops, bottoms, anything.  I guess it's the fact that I can buy mediums, size 12's, etc.   Wow, I never thought I'd see those again.   

I will update on what's going on with this crazy anemia later.     

No regrets!!!    I still believe gastric bypass surgery saved my life.   

Wow, it's been one year since I started the 10 day pre-op liquid diet for my surgery.   Now, that was tough.  I cried so much the first day.  I thought I was starving!   And I thought my emotions were going to get the best of me.   I lost about 14 pounds during that time.   I'm so glad Dr. Wagner required it - it was terribly difficult, but I know it made the surgery safer, and got me in the mental state I needed to be in for my lifestyle change.    I can't believe it's been a year since I've had a Pepsi!  Or a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!   I don't really miss them all that much now.   I have found other ways to satisfy my sweet tooth.  I have become quite creative, actually.    Well, just a few more days until my 1 year surgiversary.   I've lost around 134 pounds now.     It's almost like a dream.

The holidays were great - no problems whatsoever.   I just kept my portion sizes as they should be on the regular meals, and made sure I had my own sugar free dessert close by that I could enjoy.   The best part is, I am soooooooooooo different from last year, and people just couldn't stop talking about the changes in me.    Not just in my appearance, but in my level of happiness.    So true.   This time last year, I was miserable.  This year, I feel like dancing on air.   Thanksgiving 2008 is a time that I am thankful to God for another great thing that has happened to me this year... my RNY.   It  has changed my life.  

Time is flying, wow.   8 months ago today.   This morning the scale was kind and showed  a 110 pounds weight loss so far.  Yay!!!   I am very pleased.   Some days I wish it would come off faster, but that just shows my impatience, I guess.   : )   I have been working most days of the week lately, so I'm learning how to pack my lunches and snacks and work all the vitamins and water in while outside the house, which has been a little tricky at times.  Substitute teaching can be pretty stressful - today was a rough day, so I came home and had some comfort food - 1/2 a banana and 2 tbspns. peanut butter.  That was actually very satisfying.   In the old days, I would have turned to a king size Reeses PB Cup or maybe some donuts or even some cake icing or cookie dough.  Sugar was my comfort.  My addiction.   Not anymore.  I haven't even pushed my limits with sugar, because I am still sooooo afraid to dump.  I haven't dumped yet, and I really don't want to.   The idea makes me cringe!     Thank goodness for this surgery, keeping me on the straight and narrow.  : )

My next mini-goal is to have lost 125 total by Christmas.  That's just another 15 pounds, so maybe it's possible.    Then I would just need to lose another 25 or so to hit goal by one year out.   I don't know, I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, but at the same time I want to remain positive.   I've been very blessed so far, so I won't complain if it takes me a little longer than a year to reach goal.   Thank you, Lord, for being with me.

Today marks my 6 month surgiversary.   Unreal.   I'm down around 93 pounds, and so thankful.   My good friend Michelle came by today and we were talking about how great it is to just feel "normal" again.   (By the way, she looks great, and is almost at her 1 year anniversary with amazing weight loss - she's been a real inspiration to me!)   All those normal things we can do again, buying normal sized clothing, sitting in chairs without worrying if we will fit, etc.  These things are awesome, and people who have never had a serious weight issue take them for granted.   I have a long way to go until I get to goal, but I believe that I can reach it.  For the first time, I believe in myself.  If I've gotten this far, why not go all the way?   God is good to me, and I couldn't do anything without Him.  I wouldn't even want to try. 

All I can say is wow.  I can't believe the changes in me in the last 5 months.   84 pounds, nearly 50 inches total, and most importantly, I feel like a normal person again.   It certainly isn't easy though.  I actually think about food just as much now as I did before surgery, only in different ways.   Staying on track takes a lot of planning, measuring, and trying new things.  But it has been worth every second thus far.   When I am really stressed, I do find myself wishing I could just go to the pantry and find some kind of carb or sweet to get my mind off of whatever is wrong - but that won't work anymore.  It actually didn't work before, it only made me more miserable later.  I am exercising more than I ever have, and I know that is making my health even that much better.  

I still feel like this surgery has saved my life, and I'm looking forward to reaching goal, hopefully by my year anniversary.

Thank you, Lord for being with me every step of the way..