cathymc911
June 14th, 2007
Jun 14, 2007
I have been on stratera for my add for two days now. I can already tell a difference. I also take my Lexapro on top of that. I do feel better. My insurance wont cover the Stratera however so I had to pay 147.00 dollars. Even though I have a good career, I am not paying that a month. I have a call into my Doctor to see about putting me on something my insurance will cover.... I get embarrassed sometimes and don't want people to think...ooo she takes medication for ADD and depression. If you talked to me on the street you would never know. I know that I feel much better and I feel with the therapy also it is helping me.
Food is getting boring. Today I had some shrimp for lunch and maybe two bites of beans. Breakfast...hmmm lets see what did I eat. nothing....Dinner I had some mini sausage things. I think I might venture to some oatmeal, was just trying to keep carbs way down.
I still can not believe how much food people eat. My husband had a burrito today, I use to eat the same size. I was watching thinking wow..that is a lot of food, on the other hand it ticks me off that I can only eat 2-3 oz and I feel like I just ate a turkey dinner!
I wish the weight would come off faster, doesn't seem to be however. I like to tell people I have had the surgery, because it is important to me, and I am proud I had it done. I mean if I spent a tone of money on boobs...well ok I probably wouldnt tell people..but its kinda the same thing...
Sometimes I think this surgery is not going to work for me, and other times I am very happy. I am happy I had it done, just now I am stuck in limbo. I am confused on foods to eat and what is a good low carb diet and what is not. I am still struggling with my energy levels. I do great in the morning and noon I am exhausted. My days off it takes me the first two days too try and catch up.
I just don't know what to do right now. What is right what is wrong...what to eat what not to eat...have no idea where to go or who to ask. it is very frustrating. The doctor gives you this book, that he has printed out in folders they give everyone and thats it!
Why isn't there a better eating guide or plan ! I don't want to see a nutrionist they will just tell me what their little text book crap tells them to tell people what to eat
Food is getting boring. Today I had some shrimp for lunch and maybe two bites of beans. Breakfast...hmmm lets see what did I eat. nothing....Dinner I had some mini sausage things. I think I might venture to some oatmeal, was just trying to keep carbs way down.
I still can not believe how much food people eat. My husband had a burrito today, I use to eat the same size. I was watching thinking wow..that is a lot of food, on the other hand it ticks me off that I can only eat 2-3 oz and I feel like I just ate a turkey dinner!
I wish the weight would come off faster, doesn't seem to be however. I like to tell people I have had the surgery, because it is important to me, and I am proud I had it done. I mean if I spent a tone of money on boobs...well ok I probably wouldnt tell people..but its kinda the same thing...
Sometimes I think this surgery is not going to work for me, and other times I am very happy. I am happy I had it done, just now I am stuck in limbo. I am confused on foods to eat and what is a good low carb diet and what is not. I am still struggling with my energy levels. I do great in the morning and noon I am exhausted. My days off it takes me the first two days too try and catch up.
I just don't know what to do right now. What is right what is wrong...what to eat what not to eat...have no idea where to go or who to ask. it is very frustrating. The doctor gives you this book, that he has printed out in folders they give everyone and thats it!
Why isn't there a better eating guide or plan ! I don't want to see a nutrionist they will just tell me what their little text book crap tells them to tell people what to eat
June 12th 2007
Jun 10, 2007
Today we went to Chili's for lunch. I had some chicken. I had two very small pieces and felt like I ate an entire large burger. I watched this couple, and tried not to stare. They were both thin. They had an appetizer first, they both then ordered this huge and I mean huge burgers, with fries and onion strips on the burgers, they finished their entire plates, then had a giant thing of ice cream on top of a brownie and fudge sauce. I was amazed they ate it all!!!
Prior to surgery I probably and I did put away food like that. I look at it now and seems like how do they fit all that in their bodies? I was just amazed at how much they ate!
Prior to surgery I probably and I did put away food like that. I look at it now and seems like how do they fit all that in their bodies? I was just amazed at how much they ate!
June 9th, 2007
Jun 08, 2007
I don't know what is going on. I am really angry. My husband takes the kids to the store, and comes home with the largest container of donuts, and cookies. He knows I can not stay away from that stuff. I do the shopping, just for this reason lately so it is not in the house. Honestly my kids don't need on that freaken crap either.
So what do I do I go in and eat two of the donuts, knowing that I can not stop myself. Why Why can I not stop myself. I just paid over 16,000.00 to have this dam surgery done, and I am blowing it! I paid for it also I am sicker then a dog right now. It really bothered my stomach. I was craving chocolate, well I thought I was.
The truth again was that I was not hungry.
So what do I do I go in and eat two of the donuts, knowing that I can not stop myself. Why Why can I not stop myself. I just paid over 16,000.00 to have this dam surgery done, and I am blowing it! I paid for it also I am sicker then a dog right now. It really bothered my stomach. I was craving chocolate, well I thought I was.
The truth again was that I was not hungry.
JUNE 8TH, 2007
Jun 07, 2007
I have added new photos for my one month anniversary. I really can not tell a difference yet. I have lost 26lbs in on month, that is a huge accomplishment.
I started my cycle today so I think that is the cause for my stall for the past week. I know also I have not been eating enough calories, so I upped that.
I can eat pretty much what I want, I keep to protein only however. I am confused not sure when I can add maybe some berries or asparagas?
This has been challenging mentally. It is hard, there are good days and bad days. I would not change it though for anything. I am glad I had it done. It has been a wonderful tool to have in my life.
Today they had pizza and cheesecake at work, and I mean the good kind of cheesecake. I saw people eating pizza with the plates soaked with grease, and I thought disgusting! The cheesecake on the other hand looked really good! I liked the smell and to look at it, but had no desire to eat it! That was amazing to me.
I am still only able to eat little amounts and have to force myself to eat!
I saw my therapist on my days off. It was wonderful. We talked bout eating and addiction. Face it I am overweight and most of us, because of food addiction. It was interesting to hear him talk. I really felt great after leaving.
I think it is a diservice to people who do not have therapy after this surgery, or any wls. You have to fix yourself inside or the outside no matter what will never be the same. Next thing you know you are going into another bad addiction!
We have to have good addictions in our lives, exercise, eating healthy!
This past month I am thankful for and still looking forward to making my baby steps into full strides !
Ok so I make this post I go in the kitchen for no reason and pop three little sugar treats in my mouth. See addiction. It was totally impulsive good god ! I get so ticked at myself! Why did I do that...after I just talked about pizza and cheesecake, I stick something my mouth mindlessly!!!!
My point is this is hard! Very hard....
I started my cycle today so I think that is the cause for my stall for the past week. I know also I have not been eating enough calories, so I upped that.
I can eat pretty much what I want, I keep to protein only however. I am confused not sure when I can add maybe some berries or asparagas?
This has been challenging mentally. It is hard, there are good days and bad days. I would not change it though for anything. I am glad I had it done. It has been a wonderful tool to have in my life.
Today they had pizza and cheesecake at work, and I mean the good kind of cheesecake. I saw people eating pizza with the plates soaked with grease, and I thought disgusting! The cheesecake on the other hand looked really good! I liked the smell and to look at it, but had no desire to eat it! That was amazing to me.
I am still only able to eat little amounts and have to force myself to eat!
I saw my therapist on my days off. It was wonderful. We talked bout eating and addiction. Face it I am overweight and most of us, because of food addiction. It was interesting to hear him talk. I really felt great after leaving.
I think it is a diservice to people who do not have therapy after this surgery, or any wls. You have to fix yourself inside or the outside no matter what will never be the same. Next thing you know you are going into another bad addiction!
We have to have good addictions in our lives, exercise, eating healthy!
This past month I am thankful for and still looking forward to making my baby steps into full strides !
Ok so I make this post I go in the kitchen for no reason and pop three little sugar treats in my mouth. See addiction. It was totally impulsive good god ! I get so ticked at myself! Why did I do that...after I just talked about pizza and cheesecake, I stick something my mouth mindlessly!!!!
My point is this is hard! Very hard....
June 5th, 2007
Jun 05, 2007
I have thrown up twice today. It is so painful. I tried to eat one slice of bacon, and some deli ham. Neither one settled good at all.
I start to cough, and continue to cough until the food regurgitates it way up. It comes out foamy..
I have been feeling very tired. I have no energy at all. Not sure what is wrong. The first two weeks I felt great. Now I have to pull myself out of bed each morning.
I wonder if I need b12 or maybe more fluids. I think maybe dehydration will make you fatigue. I know I am still only able to get maybe 400 calories if I am lucky....
I also wondering if menstreul cycle has anything to do with the fatigue, I can tell I have been very irritable the past two days.
I start to cough, and continue to cough until the food regurgitates it way up. It comes out foamy..
I have been feeling very tired. I have no energy at all. Not sure what is wrong. The first two weeks I felt great. Now I have to pull myself out of bed each morning.
I wonder if I need b12 or maybe more fluids. I think maybe dehydration will make you fatigue. I know I am still only able to get maybe 400 calories if I am lucky....
I also wondering if menstreul cycle has anything to do with the fatigue, I can tell I have been very irritable the past two days.
June 4, 2007
Jun 04, 2007
It has been a little over three weeks since my surgery. I notice I can get a little more food in my then normal. A girl from work brought in stuffed mushrooms. It just had sausage,cheese, and the mushroom. I ate four of them, over an hours period. Then that old feeling came back...guilt...I was thinking why do I feel so ashamed for eating four. I think maybe I felt I was overeating again...I have noticed also my hunger has been back. It seems more so at work then at home,however. I wonder if it has to do with the stress and sitting there for 12 hours.
I have lost almost 26lbs in a little over three weeks. I feel like soooo what...When am I suppose to be excited! I think maybe because I have been this weight so much up and down for years it is no biggie to me. I mean also that is a lot of weight to lose in a short period of time. I have no patience it seems like.
Last night I made these low carb cottage cheese pancakes...OOOO big mistake! I was so hungry I forgot to eat slow. I get the old pain in my chest started coughing....get nice saliva going...and next thing you know its vomit city....It all came up...then I hear people talk about the foamies...yes you also vomit foam stuff. It all came up and I felt much better.
I am concerned about bowel movements I wont have one for four-five days...I dont know if its normal or not. If it continues guess I will have to call the doctors office. I even tried to eat something with sugar alcohol to see if it would clean me out...nope didnt work....
My calorie intake is still around 300 calories, fat is about 6 grams,carbs 11 maybe and protein 30-40
Water try like hell can not get it in..maybe lucky to get 16 oz in...that could be whats plugging me up also...
I have lost almost 26lbs in a little over three weeks. I feel like soooo what...When am I suppose to be excited! I think maybe because I have been this weight so much up and down for years it is no biggie to me. I mean also that is a lot of weight to lose in a short period of time. I have no patience it seems like.
Last night I made these low carb cottage cheese pancakes...OOOO big mistake! I was so hungry I forgot to eat slow. I get the old pain in my chest started coughing....get nice saliva going...and next thing you know its vomit city....It all came up...then I hear people talk about the foamies...yes you also vomit foam stuff. It all came up and I felt much better.
I am concerned about bowel movements I wont have one for four-five days...I dont know if its normal or not. If it continues guess I will have to call the doctors office. I even tried to eat something with sugar alcohol to see if it would clean me out...nope didnt work....
My calorie intake is still around 300 calories, fat is about 6 grams,carbs 11 maybe and protein 30-40
Water try like hell can not get it in..maybe lucky to get 16 oz in...that could be whats plugging me up also...
May 30th, 2007
May 30, 2007
Well I am down to 221lbs and almost three weeks out. I think that is pretty darn good. I went back to work on Saturday. It was way to much stress. My stomach was actually hurting. I walked two miles one day on my lunch break. I figure out I need to take water with me when I walk. I almost passed out one day while walking at work. I can tell that I have to deal with the stress of my job and the people in a different way other then eating now. I am coming up with different coping devices. The big thing now is I am picking on people. I am having a hard time with this concept. We are all type "a" personalities. I have changed 100% in the past ten years. I am professional, and I believe in doing this right, and that the mistakes we make need to be minimal. Citizens and emergency personnel expect us to be accurate and alert. I just really get angry when people who don't even know me or who haven't worked with me are telling untruths about me. So anyways....I am dealing with the stress in a different way. I just told myself I have done nothing wrong, and people can write and or say what they want it does not really matter to me.
I went to lunch with my children yesterday. I broke down and ate one french frie and some small I mean very small pieces of his chicken nugget. Well I payed for it. I broke out into a sweat got dizzy and felt like poop.
I tested my limit and only three weeks out. I was wrong but now I know I can not do that. I have been eating shrimp,deli meats,eggs etc. I do get my proteins in. My dr said only soft mushy stuff, however the things are staying down and I have no problems so I am eating them.
All I can do is the best I can do. My stomach is not taking in that much food, and I am exercising daily. My husband told me he was proud of all my hard work. That meant a lot to me!
I went to lunch with my children yesterday. I broke down and ate one french frie and some small I mean very small pieces of his chicken nugget. Well I payed for it. I broke out into a sweat got dizzy and felt like poop.
I tested my limit and only three weeks out. I was wrong but now I know I can not do that. I have been eating shrimp,deli meats,eggs etc. I do get my proteins in. My dr said only soft mushy stuff, however the things are staying down and I have no problems so I am eating them.
All I can do is the best I can do. My stomach is not taking in that much food, and I am exercising daily. My husband told me he was proud of all my hard work. That meant a lot to me!
May 24th 2007
May 24, 2007
Today was my first restaurant experience. I was able to start soft foods. I ordered a cup of broccoli cheese soup. I was going to share with my daughter who is one years old. My husband said well she will eat quite a bit get a bowel. I did....It was so much food. I took two bites and I was done. I told him see I can not eat like I use to. He apologized. It is a learning process for him as well.
For whatever reason maybe its the other foods. I have had horrible diarrhea. I get cramps then I go in and next thing is I break out in a sweat and its well its bad. I cramp and everything. I am terrified to eat now. I can tell I am a little dehydrated. I am trying to push water today.
I went out and pulled all the weeds by our pool today. I am down to 224lbs. Still heavy but I am getting more energy.
I go back on duty on Saturday. Friday possibly since I am on call. I am glad to be going back to work. The eating thing will be a challenge. I also am wondering if I will get a lot of questions about how I am eating. I think more will be "how much weight have you loss" That is ok though.
Dinner I am going to try some crab,mayo,onion and seasoning. Pulse it in the "magic bullet" I hope it taste ok. I have to make myself eat. I am still not hungry.
For whatever reason maybe its the other foods. I have had horrible diarrhea. I get cramps then I go in and next thing is I break out in a sweat and its well its bad. I cramp and everything. I am terrified to eat now. I can tell I am a little dehydrated. I am trying to push water today.
I went out and pulled all the weeds by our pool today. I am down to 224lbs. Still heavy but I am getting more energy.
I go back on duty on Saturday. Friday possibly since I am on call. I am glad to be going back to work. The eating thing will be a challenge. I also am wondering if I will get a lot of questions about how I am eating. I think more will be "how much weight have you loss" That is ok though.
Dinner I am going to try some crab,mayo,onion and seasoning. Pulse it in the "magic bullet" I hope it taste ok. I have to make myself eat. I am still not hungry.
May 21st, 2004
May 21, 2007
Wow let me tell you what, I had a hard weekend. We went to Yosemite camping. It was one of the most trying times in my life!
There was nothing but food all around me. I had to drink my protein shakes and water. I could hardly get them down. I have no appetite at all! I just can not seem to get this stuff down. I try and try but I just am not hungry. I have to sip and it takes forever to just try and get my water down.
Friday night they made bbq ribs, I was not that bothered, I don't like the kinda they do. I am a baby back kinda girl. Saturday morning they had breakfast burritos',dinner tri tip,roasted red potatos',garlic bread,and corn on the cob. I was making my kids plates and bursted into tears. My parents and husband were good and told me it was just going to be emotional for a while. That I knew it would be life changing. I know it was, but it does not make it that much easier. I was upset that I was crying over food! I wanted to eat it sooo bad it hurt. Sunday Morning they had breakfast sandwiches, and that night my all time favorite carne asada taco's. I wanted to cry again. I stayed strong, fed my children and toughed it out.
It was probably the longest weekend in my life. My mom is almost a year out. She is having all kinds of problems she is RNY gastric bypass. She can only eat soups etc. She still vomits if she trys' to eat anything other then that. They found her intestines all in knots. She had to have them go in and do some unpleasant things because she can not have a bowel movement for weeks at a time!
Myself I can not seem to get my protein down since I just don't feel hungry. I am forcing it because it is so hard. I am horribly worried about my hair loss!
All my pain is gone and the glue from surgery is flaking off. I am doing all normal stuff. So that is nice. I am tired but I think that is due to lack of food and probably just liquids!
Thursday I will get to start soft foods I am looking forward to that for a change.
My husband had pizza tonight. Wow...another hard night. I wonder sometimes if this mental part will ever get easy
There was nothing but food all around me. I had to drink my protein shakes and water. I could hardly get them down. I have no appetite at all! I just can not seem to get this stuff down. I try and try but I just am not hungry. I have to sip and it takes forever to just try and get my water down.
Friday night they made bbq ribs, I was not that bothered, I don't like the kinda they do. I am a baby back kinda girl. Saturday morning they had breakfast burritos',dinner tri tip,roasted red potatos',garlic bread,and corn on the cob. I was making my kids plates and bursted into tears. My parents and husband were good and told me it was just going to be emotional for a while. That I knew it would be life changing. I know it was, but it does not make it that much easier. I was upset that I was crying over food! I wanted to eat it sooo bad it hurt. Sunday Morning they had breakfast sandwiches, and that night my all time favorite carne asada taco's. I wanted to cry again. I stayed strong, fed my children and toughed it out.
It was probably the longest weekend in my life. My mom is almost a year out. She is having all kinds of problems she is RNY gastric bypass. She can only eat soups etc. She still vomits if she trys' to eat anything other then that. They found her intestines all in knots. She had to have them go in and do some unpleasant things because she can not have a bowel movement for weeks at a time!
Myself I can not seem to get my protein down since I just don't feel hungry. I am forcing it because it is so hard. I am horribly worried about my hair loss!
All my pain is gone and the glue from surgery is flaking off. I am doing all normal stuff. So that is nice. I am tired but I think that is due to lack of food and probably just liquids!
Thursday I will get to start soft foods I am looking forward to that for a change.
My husband had pizza tonight. Wow...another hard night. I wonder sometimes if this mental part will ever get easy
May 17th 2007
May 17, 2007
Today I had alot of running around to do. I had to renew my dl..because I lost it. I was in and out of DMV in 30 minutes Shazaam...I had to run to Stockton for my therapy appointment. I am officially diagnosed with adult ADD...I get to start medication for that now...I am happy to have it finally diagnosed. I have been suffering with this for so many years. I am excited to get it treated. I advised my therapist my intent is medication and sessions. I think that will only be beneficial. A pill is not the answer! He agree....
We are leaving for Yosemite tomorrow. My big test...Three days camping on liquids ....ya me ! Be the first vacation I have ever had and will lose weight...I will make sure to keep busy. With a four year old a one year old I have plenty to keep me occupied.
I finished all my house work, and got the kids packed. In bathed,in bed and nice and asleep. Now it is me time. I have lost 11lbs in one week. I was 245lbs two days before surgery and today I am 234lbs....
Yaaaaa me! My big mark will be when I hit under 200lbs. I have not seen 199 in seven years. I have seen everything close even 205 this past fall! I really can not wait, to be under 200lbs. Guess that is my big thing right now. I am trying to concentrate on one more week of liquids. I am actually giddy about getting to do soft stuff!!! I keep thinking low carb low sugar or sugar free...NOw I am being told there are net carbs and carbs....eek I don't know which one to count..it is all so confusing..
Forgot to add today was hard getting all my protein in. I found by being busy, I simply forgot because I had no hunger! It was wonderful, however I need to get my protein in!! I am losing little strands of hair already, so I am preparing myself.
We are leaving for Yosemite tomorrow. My big test...Three days camping on liquids ....ya me ! Be the first vacation I have ever had and will lose weight...I will make sure to keep busy. With a four year old a one year old I have plenty to keep me occupied.
I finished all my house work, and got the kids packed. In bathed,in bed and nice and asleep. Now it is me time. I have lost 11lbs in one week. I was 245lbs two days before surgery and today I am 234lbs....
Yaaaaa me! My big mark will be when I hit under 200lbs. I have not seen 199 in seven years. I have seen everything close even 205 this past fall! I really can not wait, to be under 200lbs. Guess that is my big thing right now. I am trying to concentrate on one more week of liquids. I am actually giddy about getting to do soft stuff!!! I keep thinking low carb low sugar or sugar free...NOw I am being told there are net carbs and carbs....eek I don't know which one to count..it is all so confusing..
Forgot to add today was hard getting all my protein in. I found by being busy, I simply forgot because I had no hunger! It was wonderful, however I need to get my protein in!! I am losing little strands of hair already, so I am preparing myself.
About Me
Location
28.8
BMI
Surgery
05/10/2007
Surgery Date
Mar 12, 2007
Member Since
