cathymc911
august 16th, 2007
Aug 16, 2007
I finally added updated pictures. I don't care for them. My hair looks dry and frizzy! good night !! I have lost 52lbs so far... that is a lot of weight. I keep thinking my son weighs 44lbs and my daughter 24lbs...I have pretty much lost one and half kids!!..
I am still going to the gym and doing my routine...I still find that I am hungry more so when I am exercising.
I was not able to see my therapist today, due to child care issues....I was really upset. I only see the man once a month and I really needed to see him this month! It is hard to get appointments with him.
It is funny all the emotions you go through and the thinking process on life. Last week was a stressful week for me, I had to do some things I did not want to, but had to.
I booked a trip to Washington DC in October. I have always wanted to go since I was a kid. I am a huge history buff. I just love that stuff. There were three things I have always wanted to do, #1 hawaii and the US Arizona...DONE....(twice) ...#2 Washington DC and its history and the Vietnam Memorial and #3 NYC to see a broadway show....soooooooooo two off my list one more to go..!
It will be nice to be able to walk around DC and not be overweight. I mean I will still have weight to lose, but it wont be anywhere close to being what I was before.
I am still going to the gym and doing my routine...I still find that I am hungry more so when I am exercising.
I was not able to see my therapist today, due to child care issues....I was really upset. I only see the man once a month and I really needed to see him this month! It is hard to get appointments with him.
It is funny all the emotions you go through and the thinking process on life. Last week was a stressful week for me, I had to do some things I did not want to, but had to.
I booked a trip to Washington DC in October. I have always wanted to go since I was a kid. I am a huge history buff. I just love that stuff. There were three things I have always wanted to do, #1 hawaii and the US Arizona...DONE....(twice) ...#2 Washington DC and its history and the Vietnam Memorial and #3 NYC to see a broadway show....soooooooooo two off my list one more to go..!
It will be nice to be able to walk around DC and not be overweight. I mean I will still have weight to lose, but it wont be anywhere close to being what I was before.
August 9th, 2007
Aug 10, 2007
I went to the gym today. I have found that I get rid of much more stress with the weigh lifting. I have also found with all the exercise I get hungry more often.
I have been going to smoothie King. they have the gladiator there so very low carb and it has a whopping 45 grams of protein.
My hair is coming out, however not that bad. Maybe a 10 strands every time I brush. I have been lazy on taking my vitamins....so i started again today.
I look in the mirror and I can tell that I have lost a lot of weight..but then I go back to man you still look like crap.
My upper thighs look weird. I am hoping with the weight training it will help slim those fluffy girls down. My breast are starting to look like a couple of empty tube socks. Thank God eventually I can stuff them in a victoria secrets bra...!!!
Food stinks I worked at the fair. I tried to eat tri tip stayed down great. For whatever reason, chicken and pork just make me puke..and get the major foamies.. I hate the foamies it hurts so bad. I tried to eat a couple of buffalo wings...ooo no came right up!
I have been living on these lunchable "snackable" things. Its turkey bits,cheese and small ritz crackers.!
I will add a new picture today since I am at the three month mark now !! I sure wish I could figure out a better eating regiman. With such a small capacity for food, I just try to get whatever protein I can in me..............
emotionally I have been trying to figure out who I am, what am I about. In the past 11 years I have changed my life so much....I have really made a point to learn from my mistakes and just be a better person. I love my family. Sometimes I just get tired however of being the wife, the mom, the professional, the bill payer, the house cleaner...and I sit and say who am I ....this is what happens when food is no longer a part of your life.
I have been going to smoothie King. they have the gladiator there so very low carb and it has a whopping 45 grams of protein.
My hair is coming out, however not that bad. Maybe a 10 strands every time I brush. I have been lazy on taking my vitamins....so i started again today.
I look in the mirror and I can tell that I have lost a lot of weight..but then I go back to man you still look like crap.
My upper thighs look weird. I am hoping with the weight training it will help slim those fluffy girls down. My breast are starting to look like a couple of empty tube socks. Thank God eventually I can stuff them in a victoria secrets bra...!!!
Food stinks I worked at the fair. I tried to eat tri tip stayed down great. For whatever reason, chicken and pork just make me puke..and get the major foamies.. I hate the foamies it hurts so bad. I tried to eat a couple of buffalo wings...ooo no came right up!
I have been living on these lunchable "snackable" things. Its turkey bits,cheese and small ritz crackers.!
I will add a new picture today since I am at the three month mark now !! I sure wish I could figure out a better eating regiman. With such a small capacity for food, I just try to get whatever protein I can in me..............
emotionally I have been trying to figure out who I am, what am I about. In the past 11 years I have changed my life so much....I have really made a point to learn from my mistakes and just be a better person. I love my family. Sometimes I just get tired however of being the wife, the mom, the professional, the bill payer, the house cleaner...and I sit and say who am I ....this is what happens when food is no longer a part of your life.
july 31, 2007
Jul 31, 2007
I have been going to gym at least 3-4 times a week. I met with my trainer. I had no idea my muscles and I was so out of shape. I guess I knew...you just don't realize it because you never use those muscles. I am almost down to 195lbs.. I can not believe it.
I have not been hungry at all. I worked our county fair for two days. I thought it would be so hard to be around all that food I use to love. The corn dogs, kettle corn, tri tip sandwich, fries, cinnamon rolls...my favvvvvvvvvvv.. what else hmmm ooo ya funnel cake w/strawberries and whip cream of course. I did not miss any of it. I did not want any of it. I had my lunch I packed and I was happy. I was never sad or angry at all. It really felt great to not be miserable about food.
I have not been hungry at all. I worked our county fair for two days. I thought it would be so hard to be around all that food I use to love. The corn dogs, kettle corn, tri tip sandwich, fries, cinnamon rolls...my favvvvvvvvvvv.. what else hmmm ooo ya funnel cake w/strawberries and whip cream of course. I did not miss any of it. I did not want any of it. I had my lunch I packed and I was happy. I was never sad or angry at all. It really felt great to not be miserable about food.
July 22, 2007
Jul 22, 2007
I was so happy and thought well I have lost 45lbs why not go buy a couple of pairs of western jeans.
Well guess what..they only make them for stick girls.....!!! I felt just like I use to when I went to go buy clothes...I have to shop at the Fluffy store. Until I get to goal weight I guess that is the way it is!!!!
sometimes I just feel like I am never going to get to goal..and it is just like all the other diets I have been on...I still look i the mirror and I still see a fat girl!!!!
Well guess what..they only make them for stick girls.....!!! I felt just like I use to when I went to go buy clothes...I have to shop at the Fluffy store. Until I get to goal weight I guess that is the way it is!!!!
sometimes I just feel like I am never going to get to goal..and it is just like all the other diets I have been on...I still look i the mirror and I still see a fat girl!!!!
JULY 20TH 2007
Jul 20, 2007
Today is not a post about my weight loss. This is mostly to help me, because I can not bury certain things anymore with food. If I had something happen that was horrible at work, I could stop at the nearest Fast Food place, or grab some nice sugary crap. I can not do that anymore, so this is kind of like my own little therapy, instead of stuffing it.
One of my co-workers took a call of a 14 year old boy who shot and killed himself today. She did a great job, and I was so very proud of her. Soon after she hung up she took another suicide caller. She continued was professional and did a great job on that one. She was clearly upset, however went to the restroom, to try and shake it off.
I just kept seeing this boy in my head, and his family and all the grief and pain. I would see the officers, firemen,medics that would respond and their pain. I would see nurses and doctors when they would see him at the er. and see their pain.
It seems so senseless. I have two children they are my life, my soul! I can not imagine how this family feels right now.
It scares you as a parent hoping my God what if...what if this was my child. They are only 4 and 1 but still. The emergency personnel who had to see this. It will stay with them forever.
The only thing I can do now for me is I pray for God to be with this family, I hope the boys soul is able to pass on and be at peace, I hope that my partner will talk about it and be ok, I pray that the officers, firefighters,medics, hospital staff can find peace within them as well.
I know it is part of our job to go on. We have to there is always another emergency. That is for all of us, dispatchers, officers,medics,firefighters, hospital staff, there is always another person who needs help, and they look upon us for that.
I pray for all of us, that we are able to continue to be there for those in need, and we all remember what the plan is for us on this planet. Enjoy what we have when we have it, appreciate and take time for all the little things as well as the large things in life.
I am so blessed with so much! I also have a career that I love and have done for so long, despite the horrible parts of it. I feel I am suppose to be doing this career. It is who I am, it is what I do, and I love it.
One of my co-workers took a call of a 14 year old boy who shot and killed himself today. She did a great job, and I was so very proud of her. Soon after she hung up she took another suicide caller. She continued was professional and did a great job on that one. She was clearly upset, however went to the restroom, to try and shake it off.
I just kept seeing this boy in my head, and his family and all the grief and pain. I would see the officers, firemen,medics that would respond and their pain. I would see nurses and doctors when they would see him at the er. and see their pain.
It seems so senseless. I have two children they are my life, my soul! I can not imagine how this family feels right now.
It scares you as a parent hoping my God what if...what if this was my child. They are only 4 and 1 but still. The emergency personnel who had to see this. It will stay with them forever.
The only thing I can do now for me is I pray for God to be with this family, I hope the boys soul is able to pass on and be at peace, I hope that my partner will talk about it and be ok, I pray that the officers, firefighters,medics, hospital staff can find peace within them as well.
I know it is part of our job to go on. We have to there is always another emergency. That is for all of us, dispatchers, officers,medics,firefighters, hospital staff, there is always another person who needs help, and they look upon us for that.
I pray for all of us, that we are able to continue to be there for those in need, and we all remember what the plan is for us on this planet. Enjoy what we have when we have it, appreciate and take time for all the little things as well as the large things in life.
I am so blessed with so much! I also have a career that I love and have done for so long, despite the horrible parts of it. I feel I am suppose to be doing this career. It is who I am, it is what I do, and I love it.
July 17th, 2007
Jul 17, 2007
Today met with my trainer. Even though I am losing weight, my body is so flabby and I am so out of shape. I had not idea how bad I have let myself go over so many years.
She worked me out on my legs today. I thought I was literally going to puke!! She had me feel her legs. You can bounce a freaken quarter off her thighs, they are so hard.
I know I just started the process, but man it is so hard. I keep looking at myself and I really still just see a very obese person in the mirror. I know I am not, but I don't know how to get this image out of my head.
She told me I need to eat carbs, and good carbs, and stay away from sugar. My body needs the energy. I said yup I know..but its hard to get food in.
I am still trying to juice see if that helps. When I juiced the other day, it did make me feel better as far as energy goes.
We went to Vallejo yesterday the family. I was able to walk all day long, and I never got tired. My 14 year old nephew was complaining and I still out walked him. That did make me feel pretty good. Was a nice time, not to packed full of people. Did not have to wait to ride any rides other then maybe 2-3 minutes.
I rode a roller coaster and another ride that flipped you upside down. I use to be able to ride amusement park rides anyways. This is a major deal to some people I know. I just have never had the experience of not being able to, so I don't know how that feels.
I know my attitude is changing for the better, and with my ADD medication seems to be helping me stay a lot more focused.
I eat to live now and I no longer live to eat. I never got that before my surgery. This journey is a challenging one, but one that I would not take back.
I am proud I am going to the gym, even if it is full of a bunch of sweaty cock strutten men in a hen house. I go in do my work out and leave. I like that.... I don't care what other people think or say ...this is about me and my health and my life, and taking control of my body for once, not my body taking control of me.
I see even larger people in there working out. I feel proud of them, that they have the guts to walk in there and make a difference in their lives....
She worked me out on my legs today. I thought I was literally going to puke!! She had me feel her legs. You can bounce a freaken quarter off her thighs, they are so hard.
I know I just started the process, but man it is so hard. I keep looking at myself and I really still just see a very obese person in the mirror. I know I am not, but I don't know how to get this image out of my head.
She told me I need to eat carbs, and good carbs, and stay away from sugar. My body needs the energy. I said yup I know..but its hard to get food in.
I am still trying to juice see if that helps. When I juiced the other day, it did make me feel better as far as energy goes.
We went to Vallejo yesterday the family. I was able to walk all day long, and I never got tired. My 14 year old nephew was complaining and I still out walked him. That did make me feel pretty good. Was a nice time, not to packed full of people. Did not have to wait to ride any rides other then maybe 2-3 minutes.
I rode a roller coaster and another ride that flipped you upside down. I use to be able to ride amusement park rides anyways. This is a major deal to some people I know. I just have never had the experience of not being able to, so I don't know how that feels.
I know my attitude is changing for the better, and with my ADD medication seems to be helping me stay a lot more focused.
I eat to live now and I no longer live to eat. I never got that before my surgery. This journey is a challenging one, but one that I would not take back.
I am proud I am going to the gym, even if it is full of a bunch of sweaty cock strutten men in a hen house. I go in do my work out and leave. I like that.... I don't care what other people think or say ...this is about me and my health and my life, and taking control of my body for once, not my body taking control of me.
I see even larger people in there working out. I feel proud of them, that they have the guts to walk in there and make a difference in their lives....
new ticker
Jul 10, 2007
I can not believe two months has already gone by so fast. I am so close to being under 200lbs I can not believe it. I just wish I had more energy. I am so tired daily...I don't get it. It has to be something with my calorie or water intake!
I joined a gym today. I hate gyms. There was a crap load of people in there, and mostly men all sweaty and strutting around like they were the cocks in a hen house. I hate gyms...This is about me getting shape and toning though, so I did it.
I meet with my Trainer today, she use to weigh 315 lbs and has lost I think was 160 lbs or something like that!
Maybe the exercise will give me more energy, if not I will need to see my doctor see if its my iron or what is going on...
I am still only eating maybe 300-400 calories a day and less then 20 grams of carbs a day. Maybe my body is needing some fruits and vegetables.
I joined a gym today. I hate gyms. There was a crap load of people in there, and mostly men all sweaty and strutting around like they were the cocks in a hen house. I hate gyms...This is about me getting shape and toning though, so I did it.
I meet with my Trainer today, she use to weigh 315 lbs and has lost I think was 160 lbs or something like that!
Maybe the exercise will give me more energy, if not I will need to see my doctor see if its my iron or what is going on...
I am still only eating maybe 300-400 calories a day and less then 20 grams of carbs a day. Maybe my body is needing some fruits and vegetables.
June 30th 2007
Jun 30, 2007
Well I have been struggling with some emotions the past two weeks. I find that I am angry because I can not eat more then 2oz of food. I know the point of the surgery was to do this. You just don't realize how hard it is, until after the fact.
Before surgery you are filled with I am going to do everything right. I am going to exercise..bla bla bla bla ...Then you have surgery and every day seems to be a challenge. Some days are good and some days it just really sucks. What sucks....one might ask
Again not being able to eat more then 2oz of food at a time. If you eat to fast or too much you get this pain in your chest, you start coughing, then you vomit food and saliva or what we call the Foamies. You will hear lots of people talk about the foamies. That is literally what comes out of you. I can not get my water in at all. I get maybe 20oz a day if I am lucky.
Most of this is mental. I am use to being able to go in and eat what I wanted and how much I wanted. Yes I know that is what caused me to be heavy in the first place. You can not help the process you go through after any weight loss surgery. Obesity is a disease/addiction. I think the majority of obese people like to eat, eat to comfort, and eat to cope. It is our fix all. I know I am going through the process of an addiction and recovery.
I am now getting really angry because I can not eat the sweets that I want, I can not eat bread, I can not eat a nice huge meal at a restaurant, I can not have a margarita or ice tea or water with my meals. I eat maybe 500 calories a day..and I mean thats a big maybe. People say wow only 500 calories and how great it is because I have lost weight.
The truth of the matter, this is the best thing I could of done for me I do know that. The other side is it is as hard as hell. You really need to be prepared in your life if you are going to have any weight loss surgery. I am now down to 208lbs...I wish I could feel excited with so much of a weight loss in almost 8 weeks but I can't I think to myself well I have been this weight before...soo what...
We went to lunch and I ordered some boneless chicken. I ate one small nugget and was stuffed. Dinner I had 2oz of a King crab leg, for breakfast I had a Dannons carb control yogurt...and that is it..
The good thing is I do not get hungry like I use to. It was non stop for me, I could never feel satisfied for very long. Now I sometimes forget to eat. I am getting bored also I am running out of food options.
I really need to start exercising as well, it has been hard for me to get motivated, since I am exhausted all the time. I am trying to start some b12 and see how that helps.
I have an appointment with my therapist next week so maybe I will talk to him about how I am feeling the anger and resentment towards food right now.
My mom had to have a revision on her gastric bypass. she had scar tissue that built up for a year. The doctor has not seen this case before, he was able to go in and fix the problem without taking her original bypass apart . If he did take the original bypass apart and reconnect she would of had a very good chance of a leak. She is resting at the hospital and doing well other then some nausea
Before surgery you are filled with I am going to do everything right. I am going to exercise..bla bla bla bla ...Then you have surgery and every day seems to be a challenge. Some days are good and some days it just really sucks. What sucks....one might ask
Again not being able to eat more then 2oz of food at a time. If you eat to fast or too much you get this pain in your chest, you start coughing, then you vomit food and saliva or what we call the Foamies. You will hear lots of people talk about the foamies. That is literally what comes out of you. I can not get my water in at all. I get maybe 20oz a day if I am lucky.
Most of this is mental. I am use to being able to go in and eat what I wanted and how much I wanted. Yes I know that is what caused me to be heavy in the first place. You can not help the process you go through after any weight loss surgery. Obesity is a disease/addiction. I think the majority of obese people like to eat, eat to comfort, and eat to cope. It is our fix all. I know I am going through the process of an addiction and recovery.
I am now getting really angry because I can not eat the sweets that I want, I can not eat bread, I can not eat a nice huge meal at a restaurant, I can not have a margarita or ice tea or water with my meals. I eat maybe 500 calories a day..and I mean thats a big maybe. People say wow only 500 calories and how great it is because I have lost weight.
The truth of the matter, this is the best thing I could of done for me I do know that. The other side is it is as hard as hell. You really need to be prepared in your life if you are going to have any weight loss surgery. I am now down to 208lbs...I wish I could feel excited with so much of a weight loss in almost 8 weeks but I can't I think to myself well I have been this weight before...soo what...
We went to lunch and I ordered some boneless chicken. I ate one small nugget and was stuffed. Dinner I had 2oz of a King crab leg, for breakfast I had a Dannons carb control yogurt...and that is it..
The good thing is I do not get hungry like I use to. It was non stop for me, I could never feel satisfied for very long. Now I sometimes forget to eat. I am getting bored also I am running out of food options.
I really need to start exercising as well, it has been hard for me to get motivated, since I am exhausted all the time. I am trying to start some b12 and see how that helps.
I have an appointment with my therapist next week so maybe I will talk to him about how I am feeling the anger and resentment towards food right now.
My mom had to have a revision on her gastric bypass. she had scar tissue that built up for a year. The doctor has not seen this case before, he was able to go in and fix the problem without taking her original bypass apart . If he did take the original bypass apart and reconnect she would of had a very good chance of a leak. She is resting at the hospital and doing well other then some nausea
June 24th 2007
Jun 24, 2007
My husband and son went camping this weekend. It was nice to just spend some time with my daughter. We just hung out and did some shopping.
I have not been hungry and yesterday was so busy I forgot to eat. It was already 8 pm and I thought I guess I better eat. I went to eat and my stomach would cramp. Seems every time lately I go to eat I get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
I am still only eating meat, no fruit or vegetables. I really don;t know if I can or not. I can only take two bites of food and I am already stuffed. I am doing better with only eating the smaller portions.
I still struggle to get my water in. I like water I just don't drink as much as I should.
Tonight I had shrimp and that seems to settle very well with me. This is an example of what I ate yesterday and today.
Saturday
1/2 protein drink
1 piece of beef jerky
two bites of bbq pork
Sunday
1/2 teaspoon peanut butter
1 oz of crab from a king crab leg
two shrimps
2 mushrooms
1 0z of fat free milk
As you can see not alot of food but it seems like it during the day. I am not hungry. I know everyone says the window is only 6 months...I think however your stomach is always only 3 oz, can you stretch it yes you can. I know the hunger will come back, however I know I will be better able to handle it then before. Prior to surgery I was hungry 24 hrs..I could eat and 30 minutes later if even that I was starving again!
My mom has had gastric bypass. She had it one year end of July. She is going back in so they can completely redo the bypass. She has scar tissue, that was never fixed in the beginning. I have seen several people who have this procedure in Modesto seem to have complications. I am glad I picked one of the best surgeons in San Francisco.
I am glad I picked the VSG and not the gastric. I know this surgery was the best for me and I had a lower BMI then most when they start out. I was told I was on the small end of morbid obesity.
My sister is five years post op. She has gained at least 30-40lbs back. She over gorges herself on food, and eats whatever she wants and drinks whatever she wants.
I have not been hungry and yesterday was so busy I forgot to eat. It was already 8 pm and I thought I guess I better eat. I went to eat and my stomach would cramp. Seems every time lately I go to eat I get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
I am still only eating meat, no fruit or vegetables. I really don;t know if I can or not. I can only take two bites of food and I am already stuffed. I am doing better with only eating the smaller portions.
I still struggle to get my water in. I like water I just don't drink as much as I should.
Tonight I had shrimp and that seems to settle very well with me. This is an example of what I ate yesterday and today.
Saturday
1/2 protein drink
1 piece of beef jerky
two bites of bbq pork
Sunday
1/2 teaspoon peanut butter
1 oz of crab from a king crab leg
two shrimps
2 mushrooms
1 0z of fat free milk
As you can see not alot of food but it seems like it during the day. I am not hungry. I know everyone says the window is only 6 months...I think however your stomach is always only 3 oz, can you stretch it yes you can. I know the hunger will come back, however I know I will be better able to handle it then before. Prior to surgery I was hungry 24 hrs..I could eat and 30 minutes later if even that I was starving again!
My mom has had gastric bypass. She had it one year end of July. She is going back in so they can completely redo the bypass. She has scar tissue, that was never fixed in the beginning. I have seen several people who have this procedure in Modesto seem to have complications. I am glad I picked one of the best surgeons in San Francisco.
I am glad I picked the VSG and not the gastric. I know this surgery was the best for me and I had a lower BMI then most when they start out. I was told I was on the small end of morbid obesity.
My sister is five years post op. She has gained at least 30-40lbs back. She over gorges herself on food, and eats whatever she wants and drinks whatever she wants.
June 17th, 2007
Jun 17, 2007
I am down today to 214lbs ....I have not had a bowel movement in 7 days and I am very uncomfortable. I took some milk of magnesia to see if that will help... who knows after that I may lose two more lbs hehehhee...
yesterday had a swim party for my daughters first birthday. We had a bbq. I did very well around all the food. I had a taste of potato salad and it made me sick, I had a taste of birthday cake and it made me sick. I cut a hamburger patty in half then in a 1/4 and ate 1/2 of the 1/4 ....meat only.
I had some shrimp for dinner, and earlier in the morning I had some cheese. That was it for the day. It seems I am just not hungry again.
I notice I am more hungry during my cycle and crave more things then normal.
I am struggling with water I am not even getting 32oz i a day. I know that is horrible I really need to up it.
yesterday had a swim party for my daughters first birthday. We had a bbq. I did very well around all the food. I had a taste of potato salad and it made me sick, I had a taste of birthday cake and it made me sick. I cut a hamburger patty in half then in a 1/4 and ate 1/2 of the 1/4 ....meat only.
I had some shrimp for dinner, and earlier in the morning I had some cheese. That was it for the day. It seems I am just not hungry again.
I notice I am more hungry during my cycle and crave more things then normal.
I am struggling with water I am not even getting 32oz i a day. I know that is horrible I really need to up it.
About Me
Location
28.8
BMI
Surgery
05/10/2007
Surgery Date
Mar 12, 2007
Member Since
