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Tomorrow night is my last PT. I will be seeing Dr Kaplansky Monday - hopefully he can give me some idea of what he will be willing to do to get the insurance to pay for my TT.  He told me in my first visit that he would support me in my efforts, but I am not sure what he is willing to write to confirm that my back pain is due to my excess skin.

I have my third PT tonight.  I just want to get it over with so that I can move to the next step in documenting my need for a TT.  I am still at a stand still weight wise - my own fault.  Too much snacking and no exercise.  I need to remember that those are the things that supersized me!

Struggling...struggling....struggling.  I need to shake up this feeling of failure because I am not going anywhere.  Can't seem to get this weight loss goin again.  The last couple of months have been hell...to say the least.  I am still trying to document the need for a TT with the insurance.  I had my second PT last night.  I have to schedule a couple more then follow up with Dr Kaplansky.  If I could just get this excess tummy skin off I would feel so much better about myself and where I am.

I can't believe the holidays are over.  Christmas was really great this year.  Usually I look so forward to Christmas then when it is over I feel let down because it was not as great as I was excepting.  This year everything was right.  I felt good all the way through.  I even baked Christmas cookies this year.  I have to admit though, I let myself go.  I experienced sugar which I had not let myself do until now.  I'm emarrassed to say I have gained a lot of weight over the Holidays.  The Physistiast I saw on the 31st said he would support me in my effort to get a TT through the insurance company.  I now have documentation that my back pain is the result of my pannus.  He has prescribed some PT to help relieve the pain.  I hope that I can go through a few weeks of PT and then try for approval for my TT

It's my 2 year rebirthday!!!!Congrats to me.  Although I am so happy with my weight loss, I am not where  I wanted to be.  I, of course, wanted to be at goal by 2 years out.  I am not discouraged, just a little dissappointed in myself.  If i had done everything right then I would know that I am where I should be, but I didn't.  If I had hindsight I would have done a couple of things differenctly.
1) Exercise...would have done it early on.  I didn't take it seriously. I was losing, so I guess I didn't think I needed to. YOU DO.  It cost me not losing 50-60 pounds more.  I let myself wallow in the fact that I was soooo huge that I was an exception to the rule to exercise.  Don't b fooled by the fact that you can lose without exercising, it will catch up to you when you want to lose those pounds the most.
2) Eating out...wouldn't have done it or not as often and would have made better choices.  Just because you can't eat as much, don't think it is okay and won't hurt.  IT DOES.  I may not have been consuming very much food, but I was consuming an enormous amount of CARBS.
CARBS are the enemy at least they are for me. So, if you must eat out as your routine, do it wisely and watch out for the CARB demon.
3) Water and Protein...Could have done a better job in meeting my Docs requirement.  It is so important in the early months to do this so that you can take advantage of losing the most weight possible. Why, so that when your weight loss slows, which it will, you will be at a weight that you can handle the dissappointment of thos day.  Remember platues are normal and it doesn't mean you are done losing.
4) Grazing....don't do it.  Believe it or not, you can gain back a ton of weight.  I believed that the pounds I lost were gone forever...not true.  I think they are for the most part but if you get caught up in the habit then you will put some pounds back on.  YOU can correct yourself though.  When you see yourself going down this path, go back to the basics and you can get back on track.
THE UPSIDE OF MY JOURNEY....................
..............MOBILITY.........................
Doesn't sound lick much but it is everything.  It's what I dreamed of day after day before surgery.  My life exsitance consisted of going to work and coming home.  That is all I could handle.  At 472 pounds, I was afraid, I mean really afraid of going anywhere alone.  I knew that if for any reason I might fall, I couldn't get up.  Then what would I do, lie there until 4 men came by and helped me up?  I couldn't face that possiblilty so I didn't put myself in any situation that I could be at risk.  I am FREE.  I go where I want when I want.  The fear is gone, Thank the Lord.
I am able to do so many things now that I couldn't before, like put on my own shoes and tie them, get dressed standing up, get in and out of the car without pain, fit in chairs without arms, fit in booths, fit in theater seats and on and on goes the list of things I can do.
It is amazing the amount of attention I have received because of my weight loss.  You suddenly become respectable and people that wouldn't give you the time of day before now seek you out.  I am okay with that and I am not holding any grudges.  I find that I like myself more and more and maybe that is why it seems other people do too.  I have found the life I always wanted.  I am happy.  What a celebration I will have when I reach my goal.  I am looking forward to that day.  Be good to yourself and wake up everyday believing it is your day.

Talked to the doctor today about next steps in getting my pannus evaluated.  She wrote me a referral to a Physiatrist, which is an Othopedic doctor but not a surgeon.  Hopefully he will correlate that the back pain is because of the hanging pannus.  I just wonder if I would need to go through some documented treatment before I can refile for coverage tor my TT.

I made an appointment to sit down with my doctor to go over the medical necessary guidelines for the TT.  I wish I had the money to just go ahead and pay for it.  I like to dream and boy do I dream big.  I keep playing the lottery and hope that one day I will be the lucky one.

DENIED...NO SURPRISE.  I was wishing upon wish that the IRO would come through but knew it was unlikely.

I was working on my complaint to the Indiana Department of Insurance yesterday and I found on their website the regulation regarding the grievence procedure of HMO's.  Low and behold, we are entitled to an independent review (IRO).  Funny, the director of customer service (PHP) told me I didn't, that if the appeal hearing found against me, my only recourse was to take legal action (lied to again).  I called the director and told her what I read and she says I would qualify for an external hearing.  Qualify??? the law never stated that one has to meet criteria to get an external review.  Once again she is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I have to send a letter requesting a external review.

I am going to talk to my PCP and show him the guide lines for insurances medically necessary on TT and get my documentation started.  i will then reapply for approval in 6 months.  It's funny they had this documentation for medical necessary on a procedure that I was denied twice because they said it wasn't a covered procedure.  I think i was lied to.