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I had an endo done 6/7. I was at 12 and doc dilated to 15. He found an ulcer. I haven't done much better.  Still have trouble keeping dinner down.

Great news - I'M a grandma.  My daughte had  a little girl on 5/21/04. It was great watching my grand daughter come into this world. She a sweet thing.

Time does fly by, I really haven't felt much like getting on the computer at home. I am still pretty tired.  I have 3 places on my incision line that are giving me a problem. It makes it really hard to sit up straight in a chair at work. I haven't worn my binder in over a week because it was causing a lot of irriatation in front where I am having the problem with my incision.  My PS says I should find something tight to wear.

4/3/2004
16 days to go. I live and breath thoughts of this surgery. I think I am driving my husband nuts.  I don't care.  It's all about me and I want to be selfish, I deserve it. No really, I have a lot riding on this TT. I am counting on it giving me the push I need to get the rest of this weight off. I have to get below 200 pounds.  I am not driven to get to "goal" I am aware that not every "BODY" can get to the ideal weight. I just know that getting under the 200 pound mark will still make me a winner.
4/7/2004
11 days and a wakeup!!!!!!!! Am I obssesing? I lived and breathed nothing but WLS till the day I had surgery and then it was living and breathing nothing but the weight loss - how much, how long and now I am living and breathing nothing but my upcoming PS.  What wil be next? I wonder will there come a day when I can truely be normal? When all is said and done and I am happy, totally happy where I am.
4/13/2004
I keep counting them down. 5 days and a wakeup. Gosh it is really getting close.  A coworker made a comment to me the other day that they never met someone actually happy about having surgery. Isn't it that way for all of us wanting WLS? Sure fear is felt by some waiting for WLS but the pure joy of knowing that we will soon have a future over powers the fear and puts it in it's place. I will never forget the morning of my WLS surgery. It was the pure joy I felt.  I walked to the OR grinning from ear to ear....it was, believe it or not...the happiest moment I had felt in a long time. God had answered the many prayers I prayed over the years...but it wasn't till now that I could truely accept this gift...one that I wanted more then any material thing on earth.  The miracle I had prayed for was to wake up thin but what I received was the miracle of WLS and the outcome has been in my hands.
4/15/2004
Today was pre-op day and everything is a go. I am so excited!!! I was a little dissappointed, I figured my extra skin weighed 30 (wishful thinking) pounds but he said it would probably be 10.  BOOHOOO. Oh well, at least this thing will be otta my way. My pre-op weight is 289, I knew I had gained but not that much. Now I am depressed again - what a huge set back for me.
4/20/2004
I'm home - the pain is horrible but I will survive it.  The doctor fashioned me a new belly button, I was surprized because he said he probably wouldn't. Thursday he plans on taking out one of my drains.
4/22/2004
One out one to go. All is good. I love my new belly button.  I just can't believe the difference in how I look, looks like I've lost 50 pounds.
4/27/2004
Drains out, that feels so much better. After all these years, I can stand in formt of the mirror naked and actually see my WHOOWHOO. 

I WAS WRONG, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT - THE INSURANCE DID NOT DENY MY TT - THEY ONLY DENIED MY HIP LIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I am probably the happiest person today.  I am not wasting any time, I am having my surgery on 4/19.  I have to go in for pre-op visit on Thursday 4/01.  My boss wasn't thrilled about me taking off at this time but she was happy for me. The only thing I have to worry about is how to make ends meet financially. We use to get 100% pay on medical leave and now we only get 66%. I will have to borrow money from my brother.

I am sitting here staring at the letter, afraid to open it. Once I open it the dream is over.  I can no longer fantaise about getting approved and how happy I will be.  The screams of joy and tears of happiness will never happen. Here goes......................DENIED!

Got home from work and found a notice from the mailman that I have a registered letter from PHP that needs to be picked up at the post office. I will get it tomorrow morning.

I had a job interview Monday night and I got hired on the spot. That's never happened to me before. I am just working part time for spending money. My PS wrote the pre-determination letter on 3/15. I couldn't believe how fast he did it this time.  I called the insurance just to check and I am in the system as of 3/18. I'm telling you right now, the gloves are off this time if I get denied.

I am excited about what Dr. Stephens want's to do in my PS. Last year we talked about an anchor TT, that's a cut under the belly to remove skin below the naval and then a vertical (using my RNY scar) to take in the excess skin and fat in my midrif. Now, he is talking about doing a Panniculectomy (skin below the naval) and shaping and removing the excess skin and fat at my upper hip. I am odd shaped, I have this bulge on the side of my hip - what do they call this? saddlebags?

I called the PS office and since it was a year ago since I saw Dr Stephens, they want me to come in and be re-evaluated.  I have an appointment at 11 Thursday.  I didn't really want a morning appointment but the next available in the afternoon was in mid April and I don't want to wait that long.  I'm stopping at Dr Kaplansky's office to pick up my medical records documenting my back pain. I have moments of hope but mostly fear that I will have to go through the denial/appeal, denial/appeal route again.