Cherrie - I read your post today and I'm sorry to hear about your car accident. You asked us to respond to you, but I am not clear what sort of response you are looking for, but since you seem to be a lovely person who needs support, then I will gladly give that to you. I have to tell you, as for your embarrassment about being heavy in front of the rescue people, don't be! There is a very high proportion or rescue personnel that are morbidly obese. Also, since more than half of the population is morbidly obese, these rescue people deal with that all the time, you are not the first and won't be the last. I sincerely doubt that they would ever judge you. Anyway, what a scare you had! I'm sorry you had to go thru all of that. Keep tying to get approved for the surgery - don't give up. I've weighed 35 pounds less than you did when I started my journey and I have lost 87 pounds in a little over 7 months. You can too. Best of luck to you and feel free to email me if you need support.