Hi Julie,
I know where you're coming from. I have 3 boys myself (15, 8, and 3) But if you've ever looked at the memorial page, most of the deaths come from people much heavier than you or me. I'm currently 275. They are usually people who can't get up and move after surgery, and succumb to pulmanary embollism.sp?
Some have heart attacks. Very few are due to anything directly connected to the type of surgery. It's just surgery in general. If you're confident in your surgeon, and you're otherwise healthy, I really think you don't need to worry. You look young. That's a big plus. My surgery date is May 23. Those things enter my mind, but I dismiss them. I know that if I continue on the path I'm on, I'll be one of the super morbid obese people and then it WILL be more dangerous to have the surgery. Only you can make that decision, but my friend who had it done last May has lost 130 lbs. and she is so happy. She weighed 291 when she started her journey. She had LAP RNY. I'm having open RNY. Sorry this is so long, but you sounded so sad. I hope this helps.