Hi Julie,
I am so sorry for your troubles, but you know what, I think you should go for the surgery anyway! You are NOT heartless to want a life for yourself, as a mom we always put ourselves last, it just seems to happen. Have that surgery and just think of the fun you will have raising that granddaughter of yours. God will provide a way.
Now let's talk about your picture and the fact that you do not look old enough to have a 12 year old son, let alone be a grandmother! Big hugs to you, it will be okay, but my thoughts are keep on your way. It will work out,
hugs,
Joanie