tjcofield

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its been a long road.I have lost 144 pounds.not easy I've gained back 40 pounds lost 30 exercise 7 days a week.to exercising no days a week.up down,. diet panic.those who said I cheated no I did not..this is the hardest part not to gain back the weight and weigh 344 pounds

Wow alot has happen I read from everyone and wow I say. But sad for me I have gained 35lbs back I am where i was 3yrs ago . Its hard !!!!  But I have to keep tring. The support is gone and life is back to normal . I am happy to have kept the major weight off but dred the  future of gain the weight back . send me your prayers  for support on this life long fight

Well its been four years and so far I have only gained 20lbs from 180 to 200, I was 344lbs so I am happy.  Its been hard  and rough four yrs, adjusting to my new wt and how people see me and how they read my. actions.  No one tells you how hard that stuff will be to deal with.  Now  am looking at a body lift I  really want one. I need it the extra skin is not fun to deal with .   I will say I would do it again in a heart beat,. Well the eating has returned. What everyone thinks you will never be able to eat again  well not true for me , I can eat what I want but I need to watch for weight gain. But old habits are hard to control. . So what eles can I say lots of stuff. Feeling good about myself is comming along. but others dont allow you to feel good about your self or aleast I some times feel that way .  I miss my old self or least the protection I Had or the excuses I had, " its because I am too bigg.. or to Fat for....."     Friends are great to have when they support you and mine do they have been so great durng this whole thing I am really thankful for them I really am..
so what is next lord only know what next .  oops and I almost for got that I have been healthy this yr no  health problems . yesssssssssss.    like I was saying , I know whats in store for this year but I can say its all gooooood.

Stable I thanK GOD , I have been cheating to day I shoved a cup cake in my mouth before anyone could see me and I had two large pertzels for dinner, I dont cheat that often. But I feel so awful, I only do it when I see it or bored so I decided to write and look at everyone blogs and photos you all move me to keep going and to be thankful for my gift , the second chance at life. I have not worked out at all just runnin around on the job. Right now I need to watch myself alot of work and little time to myself and gym I need to make time, So I am going to do a food diary for the next  two weeks see the doctor to make sure labs a normal. thank you all for keeping me on track.

Well oh well another day . I realized today should be the Last day on the weight-loss vacation I need to get off my ass and work . Lazy !!  I know I need to call my doctor and make an appointment with the dietitian  and keep a food dairy for the next two week but it works you don't  want to write down what u are really eat so u don't eat it.  Funny thing happen today I was walking on Campus with my students and  two guys where walking in my  same path with to tiny girls along time ago I would have dropped my head and walked all the way around giving them the right of way. Instead i held my head up and walked  MY PATH and they moved and they did not stare at me. What a feel-in that was.  I saw an old friend who kept walking past me because they did not know who I was. I now realize who I am and now I realize this is me It always has been me, My path no one Else. 

Thank u,  You all inspire me to keep it going!

I went to group this past Wednesday, I really needed it , The topic was regaining Ur weight! I think I can say we all  don't want that.. Well So far I am maintain my wt.  between 180- 188 lbs it depends on what i have eaten. Lately I have been cheating with food . I hate not haven dumpin.   Its been really hard, My adjustment to my new body and maintain my marriage, Has been  hard.  Its hard to find someone to talk to who will  understand the fight,  My friends look at me like the skinny girl who should  be happy, But what they don't under stand this is a new body and the rules change for u. When u were big "fat" u could smile at the guys in the office or the club and  that was u  being  out going or the nice girl in the office, now that Ur body changed,  That same action is viewed different.  I hate it I am still me I still want to smile. Bein in a box is where i was for a long time I could not move now I can, Now I CAN. I love that I can.  I really want to keep this feelin forever. I dont want the FAT to come back .  But old habits die hard, I really need to fix my mind .
TWO YEARS wow  I look at the before pic I have 24hrs before surgery and now wow I cannot believe i carried all that wt with me. I love My doctor  Clapp he help make this happen, and u  no what no matter what happens the mental ups and downs It was worth it  I AM A LIVE AND I CAN MOVE!!              

What a weekend, I did alot that  I would never do when I was 344lbs. Well lets see, my outfit was a halter top it was cute and jeans and I went to a Wine tasting I stopped going because I was to Big, then I went to a Amusesment Park were I rode ALL the ride with my Hubby and with My kids we fit in the seat!! I even rode this ride that I was embrassed to ride on before because the bar would not close AND THE ATTENDEE TOLD ME TO GET OFF I WAS TO BIG, i would have been nice if he still worked there.  On another note my Doctor asked me if I would have had the surgery knowing what I know now and what i have gone through I told him "HELL YES" I would do it again in heart beat aslong as he would perform the surgery. Life is diffrent know I see things diffrently like how I see others my friends my Famliy my marriage. Things look hard! Just to keep up with it all is hard,

Where do I began, on said this would be easy , Everyone eles thinks that it is they think we cheated when we had surgey " why can you just stop and be like the guys on Biggest losers" I have learned this is just a tool and it is up to me to keep this off its like the biggest losers they got a tool and its up to them to keep it off.  Adjustments  with myself have been really hard No one would understand but all of you would, How do I look at my self in the mirror and love what I see, How do I balance not wanting to stuff myself and  eating to little, The laxative oh my i will not start down that road.  I have learn to smile and walk with a sway in my hips, a smile on my face . I know I have worked hard for this I did not cheat I worked HARD. I do get sad, I miss my old body blanket that kept me warm and safe from others. "KEEP OUT"  is what My body said, and it did its job well. The sex, wow . what can I say it feels and means something diffrent now.   I have Dance naked to my favorite songs in a mirror and it felt good,

Its been a long while. . I have maintained 180lbs for this whole yr but would like to go down to  175lbs but the junk food monkey is on my back . I really have not  worked out at all but  I am going to try to get on track this week. I am so glad to have done this my life is great .  I dont want to be skinny. I am so happy with my size now. I hate the extra skin  that hangs down and that i cannot wear shorts but it beat being unable to walk and move or sit  at a table or ride  in a airplane and the ugly looks  and the laughs .  My life is now mine not the fat !!