Teresab339
9-15-11
WOW! It is hard to believe that another month is halfway over! Where has the time gone???? Just wanted to give a quick update since I honestly don't know that anyone follows me on here, it is more for my personal journey and memories anyway. I got on the scale yesterday and it said 178! I was so happy to see a number looking back at me that I have not seen since I was a teenager that I almost cried! This is not to say that it won't change, it fluctuates constantly about 3 pounds, but just that feeling I had was so wonderful!
I have changed so much in so many ways during this journey, I can't even tell you just how much weight loss surgery has done for me and meant to me. It literally saved my life in more than one way. It gave me the courage to get out of an unhappy marriage by giving me a new sense of pride and confidence in myself, which led me to meet my wonderful new husband of 1 1/2 years, I don't feel uncomfortable in public anymore, I don't worry that I will go out and not fit into a booth or a ride at an amusement park, I don't worry that I am being laughed at behind my back because of my size, there are just so many things that I don't have to even think about anymore!
Don't get me wrong, I still have my issues with self-confidence, I still do have worries, just nothing like they were, it doesn't CONSUME me like it used to and that is like such a burden has been lifted from me and is wonderful!
Hopefully my next post will be of more weight loss! Good luck to all of you on this journey, remember to never give up, have faith in yourself, and always stay true to YOU!
7-6-2011
I finally made it to goal! I am happy to say that I finally hit 180 pounds, it fluctuates between 180-183, but I am so very happy that it is here! My 16 jeans that I wear for work are falling off of me, which is another thrilling event for me since I am down from a size 28, yes I said 28 and some 30's. Total to date I have lost 135 pounds from my highest weight (315), losing a whole adult weight is much more than I ever imagined could happen to me. So many things in my life have gotten better though I still struggle with my self-esteem, I still see that fat person in the mirror and that bothers me because I have come so far. I still try to hide myself from my husband and feel uncomfortable undressing in front of him, just because of the images I had of what I used to be still being there. It is hard to overcome those feelings of shame and embarrassment that I carried for so many years and to accept what I have become. I am getting better but I still have issues, and this dreaded saggy skin, which doesn't help with the image issues. I hope anybody that happens to read about my journey finds some hope in their own quest for a healthier life. Feel free to email me with any questions, I will be happy to be your shoulder to lean on and answer in the best way I can. Good luck to you all, and happy losing!
5-18-2011
Well I am at 185, just 5 more pounds to that original goal and OH MY GOSH I got my butt into a size 12 jeans! I was so happy I was in tears, now they are a little snug, but hey, I have NEVER been in that size, even when I WAS 12 so this is a major milestone for me and I am thrilled. I want to be at 160 pounds, I think this is doable, but it will take some effort, so you guys wish me luck!
3-14-2011
Wow it has been a very long time since I posted anything on here! So much has happened with me both physically and emotionally since my surgery. I never thought things would change the way they have but everything did after my surgery. This is not to say THAT was the reason, but I found that I actually gained some self confidence with weight loss surgery that I had not had in many many years, so after a 28 year relationship, I ended my marriage because it was not working and had not been for many years. I have made some mistakes along the way, I have made two moves, to Florida and to Ohio which I now call home, I found a new husband, we have been married almost a year now, he is 6 years younger than me and though he sometimes has a hard time understanding my journey in life, he is everything to me and loves me for who I am with all my scars and loose skin which he knows will only get worse as time goes on and more weight is lost and I get older.
As far as weight loss goes I weighed in this morning at 195.8 which thrills me since it shows I am still losing almost 4 years into the surgery. My goal going into this was 180, I know that I have not made it yet, but I know that I am comfortable with where I am, I am in a 14/16 jeans, still like my large shirts but could fit in some Mediums depending on how they are made, this to me is a MIRACLE!! I never thought 4 years ago that I would see myself in this size, I went from a 28 to a 14, so how great is that?? IT IS AMAZING! I feel like a new person, I can do things that I have not done for years, I can cross my legs, stand on my feet for hours on end, bend over and tie my shoes without turning blue, and I am not ashamed to tuck in my shirts for work! It just feels wonderful to be normal for a change, to not be stared at because of my weight or whispered about. I have been one of the lucky ones that has not had any problems with my surgery. i can eat pretty much anything, but tend to be careful with everything since I don't want to fall back into the bad habits that I had. I try to stay away from sweets, but do not say that I can't have anything, I just don't think that you should ever say you can never have the things you love again, you just have to limit yourself and be careful with everything and no matter what ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE BEFORE THE SURGERY SO YOU DON'T GET BACK
THERE!
I will post if I lose more weight or if anything drastic happens. I just hope that anyone reading this gets some inspiration from it and sees all the changes that you go through in every way. It isn't only a physical journey, it is an emotional one as well, and you really have to prepare yourself for it. Do your research and please be prepared for what is about to come. Talk to the counselor before the surgery, and keep in contact with them afterwards, they and your surgeon are there to help you and if you feel like the changes you are going through are getting to be overwhelming, LET THEM KNOW!!!
I hope this helps anyone reading it.
4-2006
Going back through my old emails, I realized that I actually signed up on this site in 2002, and have been researching WLS for over 10 years when I first heard of it. WOW time sure flies! In 2002 when I joined, I had Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance and a good job with what I thought was a stable company, BUT my company closed leaving me with no insurance and times got really bad job-wise for me. Without a job or insurance, I pretty much gave up on my quest for a full life and the surgery. I have since been able to get insurance again, and had hopes of getting things done this time. I spoke in depth with my family physician about this surgery, he felt that I was a good candidate since he had seen over 6 years that my diet attempts had all failed, and he suggested that I speak with Dr. Robert Shin from CAMC's Weight Loss Center. I attended the seminar in December 2005 and was really impressed with his knowledge of this surgery, and felt that he was the doctor I would be having my surgery with. I ended up having to change PCP's because of my insurance, the new PCP was in agreement with my first, I really needed this surgery, but he dropped the ball on me! The surgeons office asked that I fax them the notes from the doctors office to see what progress I was making on my 6 month diet plan, he failed to keep the notes that were needed, and i was told that based on those the insurance company would not approve me for the surgery! I called him and asked that the notes be ammended to show that we discussed everything, he acted like I was asking him to put stuff in there that wasn't true, the only thing that I asked was that he make the notes more user friendly, or should I say INSURANCE friendly, I just wanted them to know that we discussed the low fat diet that I was on, the exercise that I was doing, and what the results were, which we did during EVERY visit! He wanted me to walk aerobically, I told him that there was no way I could do that, you don't make a 305+ pound body do ANYTHING aerobically! BUT I was doing more walking and trying to not only watch my fat, but also, my salt intake, my carbs and my calories. Well my employer has since changed insurance companies, which means I had to find yet another PCP, this was fine with me, but the problem is I have to start over again, well at least go through 4 months of supervised dieting. This makes me ill, for goodness sakes, I have been on diets that don't work all my life, surgery has never been nor would it ever be my first choice, but at this point in my life, I feel that it is my ONLY choice, if I want to live that is, and I do. I am 39 years old, will be 40 in November, have had lifelong weight problems, hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, GERD, Barrett's, osteoarthritis, back and joint pain, severe menstrual problems which are mostly weight related according to my GYN, I have a family history of diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Conventional diets & exercise have never worked for me, not permanently anyway. I have tried every diet and diet pill that has been on the market, I have even taken Phentermine which does work, but is very expensive and can only be taken for 8 weeks at a time, and I found out recently that I have shrunk a full inch! I just want to be healthy again and live a normal life, I don't want to die young like my grandmother did. Hopefully my new PCP will keep the proper notes and this surgery will go forth before too much time goes by. Wish me luck!
8/3/06 Just an update...Since my post, I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure and put on medication. Ok, I have been doing this diet thing since December, well at least having it documented since then, have changed doctors which I mentioned above, I called the insurance company to see if I actually had to start over with the new PCP, I was told no, I could use both doctor comments to proceed. NOW I have to convince the surgeon to go forth. I wanted to have this done before the blood pressure problems and Diabetes came into play, that puts another co-morbity on me and I am just sick of trying to do things right and still having these things hit me! I am not impatient, I just see this weight as a death sentence and I don't want to die! If anyone has any ideas of what I can do to get this rolling, please PLEASE email me and let me know how, I feel like time is running out on me. Thanks for listening.
10/21/06 Well here it is, another couple of months has passed and still no word on when the surgeon will be seeing me. I asked the new Dr.'s receptionist to forward his notes to the surgeons office for them to look over, that seems to be the first step toward the procedure, after a week I went in for my monthly appointment and found that she had not sent them! She questioned the Dr. when he told her that it needed to be done, SHE couldn't understand the relevance of them receiving the records, so it was not done. He had to explain to her in front of me that in order for them to see that I have been trying and that the results are minimal, and therefore he believes that the surgery is the only way that I am going to regain my life before she would consent to do it! SOME NERVE she had to question her boss and the expert in the situation! He truly is an amazing Doctor, he actually listens to me and understands that this could be a literal life saver for me. He knows that I have been researching it for a number of years and that the techniques are so much better now, he is happy that I had to wait because it has gotten so much better. He believes in Dr. Shin and feels that he is the right surgeon for me, so that puts me at ease since I trust in my doctor and value his opinion so much. I have been working hard on trying to lose more weight, it seems like I am battling 5 pounds up and down. I have been put on hormone pills to regulate my monthly's, and the doc thinks that may have a little to do with it, so that will be another thing I am looking forward to doing without! On the downside of my visit with him, my blood pressure was back up, so my Altace was increased, will this ever end for me??
I will be making another call Monday to see if the surgeon's office received and reviewed my PCP's notes, hopefully they have and will be scheduling me for an appointment to talk to Dr. Shin soon! Keep your fingers crossed for me and keep me in your prayers please!
4/18/07
I haven't kept this thing updated like I promised myself I would do, one day when I have the time I will go back over all of the drama that took place in order to get to where I am today!
My surgery was on 4/4/07, it took a little longer than expected (1 1/2 hours) because Dr. Shin ran into a lot of scar tissue and took care of it. I can't tell you that I wasn't in a lot of pain, but it was not what I expected at all. I remember the first thing that I was truly aware of was that things felt jumbled up inside my stomach, which of course they were! lol, I had a wonderful staff of nurses and floor personnel taking care of me in the hospital, I was in a huge private room with my own bathroom, and they all made sure that I was well taken care of, I was truly blessed! I was on liquid pain meds the first day I was in there in my IV, and got an antibiotic, on the second day I had to start taking everything in pill form. I tried hard not to depend on pain medications while I was there, but there was no getting around it, so every 4 to 6 hours, I was taking Oxycodone for pain. The blood thinner shots weren't as bad as I thought they would be, but they did burn my stomach and left some mighty big bruises for such little needles! My sugar level spiked at one point so I was given insulin in the right side of my stomach, MAN now that really left a bruise and some pain! I have bruises on my upper thighs from the B-12 shots, and my poor fingers were worn out from the little pricks they did to check my sugar through the next two days and nights! Of course getting out of bed was the hardest part of the whole ordeal, and OH MY GOSH - I coughed and thought I was going to die! I had the worst burning sensation where my new pouch was, but there was nothing that I could do about it, so even after 2 weeks, I still grab and hold my stomach when I cough because it still hurts. I woke up on 4/5 and couldn't talk, I noticed that my throat was really sore and when I tried to talk to my nurse and couldn't, she tracked down a flashlight and looked into my throat, she said that they had really torn me up with the breathing tube during surgery, and got me some sugar free throat spray, (YOU ARE THE BEST KIM!) and that was the best thing I could have gotten that day!
I was getting my water in ahead of time in the little 1 ounce medicine cups, but the eating was not easy, I just really didn't want anything. I was brought a small container of diet jello, 1 cup of diluted 50/50 juices, a cup of hot water for the tea packet or Sanka packet, a tube of Pro Stat 64 Protien liquid (this is the nastiest stuff that I ever tried), and a bottle of water, it took me until the next meal to finish the jello. They brought me broths for lunch and dinner, those were actually pretty good and I was able to get them down, but not before they got cold, lol.
Friday 4/6 rolled around and Dr. Shin visited me early in the morning so that I could get out and home to enjoy a long weekend he said. He went over all of my release instructions and told me what to look for when I got home. I got ready and called for my husband to come and get me. I thought I would be wheeled out, but nope, I had to walk the whole way, which I was thankful for, I was so tired of sitting and just walking a little distance in the hall way! Getting home was pretty easy, I had my travel pillow with me to cushion the bumps, and was thankful that I had brought it.
4/12/07 I went in for my 1 week checkup and staple removal, I was really surprised when I got on the scales and had went from 308 down to 287! I kept thinking there was no way that was right, she assured me it was so I was thrilled! I got my staples and JP Drain out, it didn't hurt, but man it felt like that drain was all the in and touching my backbone when she started pulling it out, it was uncomfortable and kind of took my breath. I had noticed a little bit of green around the stitch of the drain, I had been cleaning it with QTips and Saline Solution like I was told, but it still looked a bit nasty, Vanessa didn't think that it was anything much to worry about, so she put steri-strips on my wounds and sent me on my way.
4/17/07 I know you aren't supposed to weigh yourself everyday, but I couldn't help it, and I am weighing in at 279.1 this morning and feeling wonderful about it! That is 31 pounds since my pre-op appointment! AWESOME!!
There is one concern though, the drain site I mentioned above. It is very infected now, I called and told them what was going on and was told to put triple antibiotic ointment on it, which I have been doing, but I swear it still looks really bad so I am hoping that it just goes away! I was told to do this until Friday and if it doesn't clear up, they will have to see me again on Monday, which is the day that I was planning to go back to work. My boss and the ladies at the office have been so great with this whole thing, she has already told me that if I need more time I can take it, I just hate having them do my work while I am away. I guess we shall see how things go with that.
Until next time!!!!
4/23/07-4/27/07
I went back to work today, I was worn out for the first few days and wasn't sure that I would be able to make it, then I ended up being right and took Friday off to try and recooperate a little. Weighed in today 4/27/07 at 274.
4/29/07
My incision was still looking pretty bad, I kept it clean with a little peroxide and antibiotic ointment as advised by Dr. Shin's office, the hole finally closed up and healed, but it is still really red and hard even after this long, at least the pain is long gone! Down to 272, I wish it were a little faster but a loss is a loss right?
5/19/07
Weighing in at 264, woo hoo! I am looking forward to getting down to the 250's!
6/10/07
I hate that it has been so long since I updated this page!
I am still looking for that burst of energy and don't get enough protien most days, I am working on it, but it is just really hard at this point. I am 9 1/2 weeks out and weigh 257, I feel like sometimes I am taking 1 step forward and two steps back though, since I can lose the same pound and gain it back the next day, so more or less, I am losing at a rate of about 1/2 a pound per day. It seems like when I am able to eat more, I lose, but let me tell ya, eating is still very hard since it takes so much time, and that is one thing that I don't have alot of.
I feel so much better having lost these 51-52 pounds, I can stand for long periods of time, I can walk without getting out of breath, except for these past few days since the pollen has been so high and my allergies are killing me! My joints don't hurt nearly as bad, though the years of weight has put alot of arthritis on me that will never completely go away. My dog is loving me so much more these days since I am able to go out and play with her! The biggest thing that has happened so far is that I was able to put my wedding rings back on, I was so happy I almost cried. On other days though I experience depression, I am on Lexapro so I don't know why I would. I just think at times that if a normal person were to lose as much weight as I have you could tell in a big way, but with me, "yeah you can see it some see it in your face" is what I hear, and that is after I mention that I have had the surgery done, so that is discouraging.
On a brighter note, I have been going through my clothes, bagging up all of the stuff that is too big for me, now this to me is a miracle since I have just always been used to giving the ones that are too small away! I have held onto some things that I have had for many years just because I couldn't bear to part with them, one being a pair of black jeans that I wore about 2 times and refused to get rid of, now granted, they are a size 22 which to me is still a big size, but I have come from a 28, and can almost get them buttoned and zipped, so that is a huge accomplishment for me! Being over 300 pounds was devastating to me, I am finally starting to feel that I can be successful with this, I just can't wait until people really notice the loss. I wonder though, will it be when I have lost 100 pounds? Or will it be before then? I guess only time will tell.
See ya next time.
6/17/07
I am still battling that 1 pound, I got on the scales this morning and it said 256.6, went to the bathroom, (#2-sorry to be so uh YUCK!) after not going for 3 days, got back on the scales and lo and behold it was down to 255.8. I can't believe that I dropped (LITERALLY- lol) almost a pound like that! I guess I will have to try to get more fiber somehow, I am beginning to believe that it may be hindering my weight loss, and I don't want to stop at 52 pounds!
I felt like I was back at the beginning of the journey today, back to over 300 pounds, which really upset me! You all will know what I am talking about when I tell this. I am feeling better about myself and think that I already look much better, BUT, there's still this thought in my head that people are still staring at me, and are making comments about me. I went to the grocery store this evening, I kept noticing this cocky little teenager that worked there going by the isles, a couple of times he was with someone else, he would look at me every single time he passed by, that in itself made me uncomfortable. I got to the last couple of isles, bent down and got a loaf of bread and heard him say something that I couldn't make out to the girl in the deli, she smacked him with a towel or something and when I walked that way, they shut up and he went to the front of the store. Every person they have working there is a teenager, it is the same as it always was, they can be
cruel and don't think about anyone but themselves or how to impress other teens, so it seems as if everyone was in on it. When I got to the checkout line, I again felt uncomfortable, like he had been snickering and one of the girls was correcting him for saying something out of the way before I got there. I may be wrong, I may be paranoid, but I am sure that all of you understand what I am saying and how I feel. I just feel like I am back to square one today. I am hoping for a better tomorrow.
8-4-07
Ok, it has been a while, I am at 4 months today and weigh in at 239! I am so happy to be under 240!! I don't even know if anyone reads this thing or not, but I feel that it is important to document your journey, even if you are like me and slack on it now and again! I seem to be losing at a slow pace, but I won't complain since I have not weighed 239 since about 1990! There are days when I don't lose anything, days when my weight jumps up a pound, and on good days I lose at least a pound. And to think that just 4 months ago I weighed 308 according to the doctors scales, 306 according to mine, it's just a wonderful feeling! I wish my grandmother would have been here to see me through this journey, she was rooting for me from the moment that I first started the process and passed away May 13, 2006, so she is not here to see how far I have come. I miss her so much.
Food-wise, I am able to eat most anything, but certainly not much of it thank goodness. I still do not have any carbonated drinks, I stay away from things with too much sugar (more than 10 grams per serving), I have fallen in love with the Orange Minute Maid light (Orangeade), 5 calories per serving, 1 gram of sugar, 2 carbs, and it tastes great! I also love the South Beach Bars, they have 10 grams of protien per bar and they make an excellent breakfast for me.
The size 22 jeans that I mentioned in another post are getting more and more comfortable, which thrills me, and the fact that I now have a lap now is just so unbelievable! I do need to pick up some sort of exercise habit now though because we are in a serious heat wave here in WV and I just can't get out there and walk in this kind of heat with my asthma (which by the way is much better without all the weight, but still not gone).
I am feeling better as each day goes by and as each pound comes off. People are noticing, and my clothes are so big that people feel sorry for me since I can't buy new ones just yet! LOL It feels good to be able to wear things that I never thought I would wear again and watch them get bigger and bigger.
Until next time.....I wish you all much weight loss and perfect health!
8/27/07
Ok, I was SOOOO thrilled on Saturday when I got on the scales and they said......235!! BUT, lo and behold, Aunt Flo came to visit a week late and I jumped back up to 237. I am gonna try my best to be patient, but man, I do get discouraged easily when I gain a pound. I battle daily to get in my protein, I don't get my 80 grams, but at least I am getting around 50-60.
My hair loss has not slowed much, I feel sometimes like there's a draft on the back of my head, but everyone assures me that they can't tell that I am losing any of it. I am taking 5000 mcg of Biotin per day which is supposed to be good for the hair skin and nails, along with my prenatal vitamin, sublingual B-Complex, Amino Iron, and Chewable Calcium. For Protein, I am hooked on South Beach Bars-140 calories, 10 grams Protein, low in sugar and carbs, and the Advantage Cinnamon bars- 17 grams Protein, 170 calories (I think) and they taste great, but I was advised to eat no more than 2 per day, no problem there, one for breakfast and one in the afternoon at around 3 does the trick. I also like the Carb Solutions drinks, but I can't drink them often as they bother my pouch a little when I drink them daily. AND this is of no nutritional value, but Aqua Cal Water is AWESOME. I started drinking it about a year and a half ago when I gave up soft drinks. They come in different flavors and if you have them in your area, give them a shot, there's no fizz to it, just good flavored water.
Well, that's about it for now, I'll update more when something happens!
Take care!
11-11-07
Happy Birthday to me! No really, it is my birthday, I turned 41 today and I feel better now than I did when I was 30! I have upped my protien, found a great product that most of you have probably heard of but have been afraid to try, well fear not, UNJURY is awesome! It is wonderful in coffee or milk. I got the sample packs at first and was hooked. The chocolate is my favorite, but I think I will be ordering the strawberry and chocolate next time. It is smooth, mixes well, doesn't have the horrid protien smell that most of the others have, and doesn't give me a tummy ache like some. Trust me on this one, it is well worth buying, just go to UNJURY.COM, they personalize your orders, they are fast with their shipping and you won't be disappointed with the product.
As for my weight progress, I am pleased to say that I am weighing in at 226, it is actually jumping up and down a few pounds right now, I have been put on a new depression medication and having some issues with my monthly's, so it is hard to say which one is having more of an impact on my weight right now. On a better note, I am now (drum roll please) able to fit into an 18W jeans! Granted they are the stretch material, but I am so pleased that I just have to share with anyone that will listen! I honestly can't remember the last time I was in this size, I know that in high school I was in a 15, I am so close! I truly am happy with the loss so far, I wish sometimes it were a little quicker, some people are going along alot faster according to their posts on here, and others are average like me, I just don't know what to compare myself to, I mean I know we are all different and I shouldn't do that, but it is hard to figure out where I should be at 7 months WITHOUT doing it! Geez! This is complicated! LOL I haven't been working out and I know that is a huge problem, but my husband isn't working and I feel like I am putting in so much time at work, I am exhausted when I come home, BUT, once he gets back to work, there WILL be a BowFlex in my extra bedroom first thing.
Hopefully next time I write, it will be more wonderful news, so until then, much love and good health to you all!
Hospital Reviews
- (Charleston, WV) - CAMC Women's and Children's
- (Charleston, WV) - Womens and Childrens Hospital
Product Reviews - Bugs Bunny SF vitamins
Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: Robert B. Shin, M.D. F.A.C.S
I love Dr. Shin, he is caring, understanding, and truly wants what is best for his patients. My first impression during the seminar was that he is very professional, to the point, and won't sugar coat things for you. The office staff is on the ball, they work well as a team and get things done for you. Everything was explained to me in an understandable way, not so much Dr. jargon. I was visited very early the next morning by Dr. Shin just to check in and make sure I was comfortable and the day of my release, he was there early and went over all of my aftercare at that time. I can't sing his praises enough! You won't regret having him as your surgeon and will be in very capable hands in my opinion.
Insurer Info:
Carelink, PPO
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
