tangoandhobbes
I am approaching the precipice of a whole new world…today is Tuesday, 11. March 2008 and in a mere 9 days the world and the way in which I view it will change forever.
My story begins on an ordinary Saturday afternoon on the 14th of May 1994. While on my way to pick up my younger brother Dave for church, I was involved in a car accident that would change the course of the direction of my life. Many things changed for me that day: some profound, some cliche and some unexpected. I am not going to go into too much detail about most of it because it is really neither here nor there anymore, wounds heal, scars fade and life goes on. However…one of the unexpected results of the accident and some of the injuries sustained was a significant weight gain. Now I am not going to claim that I was skinny before the accident, I definitely had some meat on my bones but I was also extremely active, I played and coached volleyball and many other sports. After the accident I was in physical therapy for a long time regaining strength and physical prowess. During this time I put on about 80 lbs. I had some internal problems and some intestinal issues that needed to be worked out that caused the weight gain. When I was cleared by my physician 6 months later to start working out I had gained so much weight that I was ashamed and embarrased of who I had become and what I looked like. Not having ever had that much self esteem to begin with, the weight gain proved to be a fatal blow to my self image. I spent the next 14 years dieting and gaining, dieting and gaining, dieting and gaining and finally just gaining. About two years ago, sad, desperate and emotionally defeated I gave up the fight and resigned myself to a life of obesity and shame, having ballooned from 160 lbs to 370 in the last 14 years.
Along the way I had starved myself, prayed, done Atkins, Nutri-System, TJ’s Miracle diet, WeightWatchers, Richard Simmons, and every other fad diet out there. I had eaten Low fat, low sugar, low sodium and they all made a difference in the beginning but gradually they gave way to greater weight gain. Everytime I took off 2o lbs I gained 30 lbs. back.
Then about 5 years ago I started thinking about weight loss surgery but I was never ready and to be honest, I felt like if I had the surgery I would be admitting defeat and at that time pride somehow meant more to me that a healthy active life…hindsight can be devastating.
Then in December I started praying in earnest to God and asking for a way out of this body I had created for myself; this prison in which I have been trapped for the last 14 years and in His mercy the Lord answered my prayers. From the moment that I gave it all up to Him and put in His hands, I have seen miracle after miracle go my way…boy when you actually allow God to keep the promises that He makes to you instead of trying to constantly take control back and do it yourself the results are far and away beyond your wildest dreams.
I will be having Gastric Bypass surgery on March 20th…just an extra little boost from God, I will be having my “rebirth” the same weekend as Easter. The time that celebrates the Resurrection of Christ, so that we might be cleansed and born anew to our Heavenly Father.
Along with all of these many exciting events are the facts that my family and friends are all wildly supportive of my decision. I am blessed to have two very dear friends of mine who have had the procedure done in October 2007 and Febraury 2008 along on this journey.
I hope as I document my travels toward weightloss and personal redemption that my words have some value to someone, somewhere.
Wish me luck…Love ya all out there
Just Jil
