slhoffman
I am 30 years old, 5'6 and weigh 331 some days more, some days less. I have been heavy since about the 3rd grade. I was always the heaviest in my class. I can still remember the song they sung as I got on the bus. "Fatty, fatty 2 by 4 can't fit through the bathroom door". It hurt so bad. I wanted quit school, yeah in the third grade. I cried every night. I still face comments and looks. I am the only really overweight person at my job. I am the heaviest in my family. I am the heaviest of all of my friends. I don't have anyone that I can shop with, because I am so ashamed of the size of my clothing. I have honestly tried to loose weight. Every doctor tells me that all of my medical problems are due to my weight, then in the next sentence they tell me that the PCOS causes the heaviness in the mid-section. I am so tired of having to take shots every morning and stick my finger two - three times a day. I want to have a baby more than anything in the world. I haven't menstated since May of 2006. I have taken provera for two months now and it hasn't made me menstrate. I am so tired of wearing the 3 pairs of jeans I have that fit and mens tee shirts. I want to be able to dress up and look good in the clothes. I was in a very abusive marriage for 10 years. I now have a fiance who is very supportive of me, but I know he has to feel embarrassed when he is with me and his friends see us in the stores. He has never said anything but "I love you like this, this is how I met you". Well, that just gave me the go ahead to continue on my eating and weight gaining. I think I am 20 lbs heavier now than when I first met him. Our main problem is that he gets mad at me when I don't want to go to a restaurant full of people where I know the booths are small. He just says why do you care what people think. You are with me. And we always fight if he wants to be intimate in the day time or when the lights are on. He says I am not attracted to him. He used to think I was cheating on him b/c I was in a depressed time of my life and I didn't want him to touch me at all. He just can't understand how I feel and how embarrassed I get.
