Scoochez

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am now 140 lbs less than when I started.  That's 560 sticks of butter.  It's a little sobering to think that I once carried that much weight.  It's only been 8 months and I've lost a whole person.  One of the most frustrating things lately in my life, though, is the fact that I'm not completely out of the 200s yet.  LOL  I'm .2 lbs away from leaving the 200s!  I don't stress about it, although I do like to joke about it from time to time.  I find it funny that my body has chosen this particular number to have a small plateau.  
I've begun working out on a more regular basis, made easier by moving to an apt. complex that has a really awesome fitness center that's open 24 hrs.  I have yet to figure out the best way to work on my pectoral muscles but in the meantime I love using the bike and elliptical walkers.  I can't wait until the pool opens...this year I will swim no matter how bad I think my body looks.  It actually doesn't look all that bad, except for my boobs which could definitely use some help, hence the need to work on my pecs.  The rest of the skin will eventually be toned.  I'm just feeling too good to be worried or ashamed about how my body looks, for the most part.
I saw some family today that I haven't seen since Christmas.  NONE of them recognized me without major scrutiny on their part.  LOL
So my life has improved so much.  I can't wait now to see what my future will hold in all areas of my life.  I've been thinking of getting back into the dating world, I still want to go back to tap dancing... I feel that the world has opened up so many possibilities now that I have confidence from my surgery. 

First let me say that I still don't regret having this surgery.  I guess I'm just one of those "special" people who aren't adjusting easily.  I had surgery September 10 and have already been to the E.R. three times.  The last time I went has convinced me that I will need to be on my deathbed before I go back!  All 3 times have been for dehydration and the 3rd time had the added feature of my being hypoglycemic.  Since I was hypoglycemic before having surgery, my surgeon's nurse said it's likely I still am.  She told me most patients develop hypoglycemia after a year or so, but I guess I'm ahead of schedule.  
So, when I went to the E.R., I was feeling just fine with the bag of saline glucose and an anti-nausea medicine that I have in dissolvable form as well.  The dr. in charge of my case decided that I needed a CT scan, chest films, and an EKG, and then he decided to give me more medications through my IV line.  One of these meds was Compazine, which is a common medicine given to prevent/stop vomiting.  Shortly after receiving the Compazine, I swear I was having a seizure.  I started shaking so violently that my mom was afraid that I would rip out my IV.  The medicine they gave before the Compazine was Benedryl, which the nurse explained was to counteract any side effects of the Compazine.  Yeah, that helped.  They ended up giving me another shot of Benedryl, but the shaking didn't stop completely.  All it did was put me to sleep.  The shaking was gone the next morning, but I was exhausted for 2 days afterwards.
Something else that's been bothering me:  menstrual problems.  I started a period at the beginning of October and I have been bleeding/spotting since.  Some days I need actual pads and other days I just need a pantiliner.  It's annoying and I really wish it would stop.  The birth control pills I restarted haven't helped any.
BUT...  I have lost 64.8 lbs since surgery and I've been feeling so much better!  I've also been sleeping better.  I still get tired in the middle of the day, enough to want a nap, but I've been assured that it will pass.  The first 3 months are a period of huge adjustment and my body is still trying to get used to the major change I signed up for.  
So, I wouldn't say that I've been having complications, per se.  I would classify them as difficulties that will resolve themselves as time goes on.  I will be ecstatic when they finally do because I really don't like feeling the way I had been off and on the last 2-1/2 months.  
I recently discussed the way I've been feeling with both my mom and my psychologist.  I said that sometimes I wish I still had my "old" stomach because then I would be able to get as much to drink as I want and I wouldn't have to worry too much about food and the fear of dumping syndrome (been there, done that, bought the T-shirt).  My mom and psych. were both supportive and sympathetic, but also pointed out to me that if I still had my "old" stomach, I would be more likely to gain 64.8 lbs, especially as we head into the holiday season, and I wouldn't be learning anything about making good choices and reducing portions.  
All things considered, I would rather have my pouch and just be cautious when trying "new" foods.  I may not be able to handle eating everything in the free world, but eventually I will be able to handle a greater variety of foods.  At the same time, I will still lose the excess weight and get used to making better food choices for myself.

I'm still trying to adjust.  One thing that's been getting me down lately is it seems that the number on the scale is moving too freakin' slow for me!  And I didn't plan on being one of those people that considers the number to be the end-all, be-all indicator of my success.  I should be happy.  I lost 31 pounds since surgery!  These are pounds that probably would never have come off if I hadn't had the surgery...in fact, with my track record, I probably would have gained those 31 pounds.  I'm getting my protein and trying to exercise as much as I can.  I guess I'm just slow.   The slow weight loss could also be because I'm a little blocked up, if you know what I mean.  And, for the record, let me just say that milk of magnesia, while better than magnesium citrate, sucks.

On the food front, I decided to throw the dietician's book out the window and find my own protein foods.  I asked my brother's girlfriend, whose dad also has a pouch, for some ideas and when I read to her that deli turkey and chicken were on my "approved" list, she was shocked because of the fact that deli meat is processed.  So, she gave me some suggestions and tonight, I will be feasting on freshly-roasted chicken that I placed, along with some water and cream of mushroom soup, in my crock pot this morning.  It smells so good and, when I checked it when I got in from work, the meat is so moist and falling off the bones.  I will soon be trying to same thing with fresh turkey breast.  I also have salmon and tilapia filets as well as salad shrimp, and hope to find some good tofu recipes.  I feel so much better now that my food options have expanded so much!

Had my first trip to the E.R.  I made a BIG oopsie and took my pre-op meds at the same time.  What I was thinking at the time, who knows.  What I thought for the rest of the day:  OMG, please let this stop!!!!!!  I was so nauseated, dizzy, and shaky that I got scared and went to the hospital.  At first, the triage nurse thought I may have thrown my body into an electrolyte imbalance, but, in the end, it was determined that I am dehydrated and they gave me anti-nausea stuff.
The next day, Monday, aka the day I was supposed to return to work, I still felt really weak and nauseated so decided to stay home for another day.  And it was a good thing I did, too!  Because after eating my morning scrambled egg, and starting my protein shake, I got extremely nauseated and I had the worst pain I have ever had in my entire life.  I don't think I was in such close communication with my own family like I was with my surgeon's nurse!  I swear I was dying.  I was crying, walking around my apartment, and actually wanted to have my surgery reversed so I wouldn't have this pain anymore.  During my 253rd (give or take...it was a long morning...LOL) call to the nurse, I vomited.  A LOT.  If I was wearing shoes during that time, they would have come up as well.  But the pain stopped, hallelujah!!!  I was so embarrassed about doing it while talking to the nurse, but she was so nice about it and told me that my pouch was obviously very angry with me since the pill situation the previous day and she told me to rest and go back to the liquid diet for the rest of the day into the next day and then start again with the solid proteins.
I can't even begin to describe the pain I was in.  My 2 closest friends, who have also had this surgery, couldn't even describe it to me when they were going through it.  It's truly a pain that I have never felt before with the "normal" stomach.  But talk about a behavior modification!  I think my pouch thought I was getting too big for my britches...and it quickly let me know who was in charge!  LOL  I did need an anti-nausea pill in the afternoon and I went to bed really early and now I'm feeling fine and greatly chastised!!  I am my pouch's bitch!
So, the moral of the last couple of days is:  Don't brag about being able to handle anything because you may end up on your rear end begging for mercy!  LOL  
I finally came back to work today and I feel like I have been let out of prison!  Buh-bye to crappy daytime TV!  Of course, it also means buh-bye to t-shirts and shorts, but, hey, a decent trade-off.  Even though I'm kinda tired and not used to the routine yet, I'm very happy to be back with my friends and co-workers!

I challenge anyone to tell me differently. LOL  According to the book the dietician gave me prior to surgery, I can only have these foods until October 14...
Cottage Cheese
Yogurt (no fruit pieces)
String Cheese
Eggs
Tofu
Refried Beans
Thinly-sliced or soft, moist canned chicken
Thinly-sliced turkey
Fish/shellfish

I'm extremely picky about refried beans.  I'm a Latina and my late grandmother had spoiled my family with her homemade refried beans.  Believe me, canned refried beans don't even come close and actually make me gag.  
I like cottage cheese as long as I can have fruit with it....which doesn't show up in my guidebook until after October 21.
My younger brother's fiancee told me that if I find a good recipe for miso soup, I could have tofu and it wouldn't be too bad.
I'm getting bored with the rest of my options, I guess.  I posted on the RNY message board about finding whey-based protein shakes that taste like plain cows' milk.  I've never been one who likes milkshakes or flavored milks or anything and I'm a little paranoid about trying to drink a little skim milk.  The dietician's book says to avoid milk for the first 2 months.

I want to do this the right way.  I've lost 25 pounds since the 2nd preop appt. on Sept 5 and I like how I feel.  I'm afraid that I might start cheating just to get myself out of this huge rut that has already been and will be my diet for the next 3 weeks.  

Anyone have a more boring or restrictive diet than I do?  I've read that some people were instructed to go ahead and drink milk, or go ahead and eat as long as it's not a big portion and it's well-chewed.  I'm actually quite jealous!  LOL

But, on the other hand, the Bariatric Center of Kansas City does have a very high success rate as far as patients losing the weight with this book to guide them, so maybe I should just stop being so grouchy about it.....?  I must continue looking at the positive side of all this:  I AM LOSING WEIGHT!  And I'm doing it a lot faster and easier than I had when I tried all other options and failed.  

The Bariatric Center wasn't kidding when they told me that, even though my pouch will greatly restrict my portions and the kinds of foods I'm able to eat, it is still all up to me how I want my weight loss to go.  I have to be motivated, boring diet and all.   And, I have to admit, that smaller number on the scale did look like a pretty good start to me!

So, the liquid diet I'd been on and being absolutely cranky about this past week had a major benefit!  I went to the dr today to get my staples out and imagine my shock when I stepped onto the scale and saw the number there.


I LOST 20 POUNDS SINCE MY 2ND PREOP!


I damn near fell off the scale and almost made them reboot the thing...I was so sure there was a mistake.  No mistake.  I didn't expect to lose that much so fast!  I knew I felt differently in my skin and I looked different in the mirror, but I wasn't expecting such a large number of pounds lost!

I'm still in awe.

And, oh yeah, the staples?  Didn't even feel them coming out!  All that wasted energy and paranoia.......

So, I looked in the mirror the other night and I noticed that my face isn't so fat anymore!  I didn't recognize myself!  I had to go get my drivers license picture to find out if I'm not just hallucinating and tricking myself into seeing a "finished product", but even my d.l. has a fat face on it!  My first "wow" moment and I haven't even gotten to eating solid food yet!

Speaking of which, this week of nothing but liquids has kind of gotten me feeling kinda surly.  I can't wait until I get to actually CHEW something, even if it's only a couple of mouthfuls of egg or a bit of string cheese.  But the liquid diet is doing its job of flushing a LOT of the fat from my body.  I'm so happy...I'm finally getting the help I need in getting this weight off and I'm so, so, so grateful to the Bariatric Center of KC and Dr. Hoehn for helping me get off on the right foot.

On the staple front.....O....M....G.....the itchiness gets worse and worse practically every minute as my skin heals!!!  I know I'm repetitive here, but I CANNOT WAIT to get these things out of my body so I can finally get some lotion on there!  Not to mention, I'm looking forward to taking a real shower.  

Another person I'd like to express my deepest gratitude and love for is my mom.  She has stayed with me from minute one and has even wiped my bottom when I hurt too much to do it myself.  I'm so grateful for all her help and love and support.  She only lives about 10-15 minutes away from me, but having her here in my apt. on a full-time basis helped me so much to get back to my routine.  We work in the same office (U.S. Census Bureau Kansas City Regional Office) and she'll be going back on Monday, but has told me to keep her posted on what's going on as I take another week to recuperate.  It's not a large office, so I guess this will be a pretty effective way to let everyone know how it's going with me. LOL  She's the secretary for the Regional Director and pretty much interacts with everyone in the building.  So, I'm sure I will have no new stories to tell by the time I get back to work...LOL...but it's also nice to have a central family member in the same building so I wouldn't have to repeat anything.

My muscles are sore around my belly.  I think I'm overdoing it in trying to get back into my usual routine.  After waking up with this soreness, I made sure to check my "user manual" to see if this could be normal.  Yep!  Just as normal as the usual post-surgery gross stuff that finally stopped as I got my protein in.

I cannot wait to get my staples out now.  My skin is itchy from healing and I don't want to scratch anywhere near the staples.  I'm so scared I'm going to accidentally pull one out.  I think I can wait until Monday, though, and I only say this because I have many "well-meaning" friends and family that are willing to take out the staples for me for free.  These people are, of course, all male.  I guess it's the lure of using a gadget even if it's only a regular staple remover or Swiss army knife.  And as for the "free" part, well, this is a good reason why I pay for health insurance.  Let's let the experts do it, ya know?

So, this has been an interesting journey so far as I heal.  I'm still not even the slightest bit hungry, so I'm truly eating by the clock and by how my body reacts.  I'm still only ingesting liquids, but I can usually tell when I've overdone the amount I can handle at a time.  Still have gas pains, but they're becoming less and less a problem.  Even with the pains and the soreness, I would do this again.

I found out my issues and concerns are normal.  I just happen to be one of those people that is experiencing all at once, apparently!  If anyone's interested in what I'm talking about, feel free to PM me since I don't want to gross out anyone reading this blog.
Feeling much better.  Not as groggy as I was this morning, still having really mild pain.  One thing I wished I had brought to the hospital with me:  my long-handled backscratcher!  My legs were SOOOOOOOO itchy with those compression stockings on and I couldn't reach down to scratch.  The assistant that was helping me for the night (I cannot remember her name for the life of me!) took off the stockings and the little booties that squeezed my feet and slathered on the lotion I had brought with me:  Eucerin Calming Creme.  That stuff and that lady were my saviors and I felt I got some really, really good sleep after that.  Especially since she told me she wouldn't put everything back on so I could get some rest.
My family told me that Dr. Hoehn told them my surgery went really smoothly and no major issues arose.  My swallow test (you'd think they'd be able to make that stuff taste better for bariatric patients, wouldn't you???) was perfect, and practically everyone who came in to check on me told me I didn't look like nor did I act like I had just had major abdominal surgery!
I don't have any hunger pangs, which is to be expected at first, I guess, and I may never have any.  It's just a matter of watching the clock and making sure I get my tiny meals in and drinking the protein shake and water in between.
I do have a picture taken of me the morning of the surgery, but don't know exactly how much I weigh since they didn't weigh me as I thought they would while getting me ready.  So, I estimate that I went into surgery at around 320-325. 

Not too much for this entry.  I'm still groggy & still hurting.  Sipping my 1st protein drink before I have more pain killers.  Quite a few issues I'm concerned/alarmed about but I don't have the energy to sit here & go over them at the moment.
But, I'm home, and the journey has truly begun.