Well, 3 weeks exactly left for my surgery date. I am really nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time. My pre-ops are on September 3rd. I am more scared of pre-op testing more than I am of the surgery it's self. I'm afraid something goes wrong. You've heard of the saying "when it seems too good to be true, it usually is" I have been struggling to get this far for 2 YEARS. With my first insurance and having waited and waited and gone through the whole process only to find out that my insurance doesn't even cover WLS. I was devastated. I gave up on life completely. My walls were caving in on me. Here I am 2 years later...I'm somewhere where I never thought I would be. On a path to freedom. I want to tell everybody who is going through insurance troubles to NEVER give up. I never in my wildest dreams could think that I could say I'M APPROVED! I finally had that chance. ME...APPROVED!!! Man I am someone that things never go right for. But this time, everything has been falling right into place. Maybe it really is meant to be. God wanted this for me. But it's just this waiting for pre-op testing that's killing me. I am so scared. I don't know why. I start thinking about it and I can imagine on that day the nurse coming up to me and saying "Samar, some tests came back abnormal and we're gonna have to cancel your surgery" :'( ...Am I normal for having these fears? I don't have any health problems, other than those due to my weight, that I know of. Does anyone else feel this way? I am so scared. I am so scared that I'll have to wait much longer than 3 weeks. I've waited enough. I've gone through enough pain. I was at work yesterday and this girl I use to work with came to visit and she had lost about 50 lbs on the atkins diet. She looked so good. One of our patients said "why don't you tell Samar how you did it..so she can start eating right and taking care of herself" I, of course started to cry. I can't believe the nerve of some people. Don't they know that fat people have feelings too? Ohh patients can be so rude. About 6-7 months ago, this man who was our patient for about a month, came to our office and decided that he had to know why Samar was so fat. He had just finished with the doctor and came to me to check out and get his next appt. As I was getting that for him he asked me "Do you eat alot?" I ignored him. Then he asked again. "Do you eat alot Samar?" I didn't answer him. I was already burning up inside. There were about 4 people in the waiting room listening to this. He then asked again. "Can you hear me?..Hellooooo" Then the doctor came to the front and asked what was going on. He then asked the doctor, "How does she let herself get so fat...she is so young..she has to lose weight" The doctor told him to mind his own business" And I was holding all of it in..My face was all red. Then the doctor looked at me and said "Sam don't mind him..there are some really ignorant people in this world." I got up off my desk and wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let me. So I locked myself up in the restroom, like I always do when I'm upset (no where else to hide) I told my boss that I can't take it anymore and that I'm not coming back to work tomorrow. I am so hurt. I'm tired. I'm so tired. The stares, the humilation, the tears and pain. When is it all going to end? Please God let this happen for me. Please God let there be no more delays. I need this. I need it more than anything in the world. For me, for my daughter...to be able to do everyday things that "skinny people" take for granted. Like going up stairs without gasping for air and feeling like your back is gonna break in half, going on rides in amusement parks, getting out of bed with no trouble, not being afraid to sit on something cuz you're afraid to break it, not being too embarrassed or too tired to go to the mall, not being stared at and hearing whispers or little kids asking "why are you so fat." Oh so many more things..if I keep on going I'll never stop. For everyone that has had surgery already..Congratulations! And may you continue to be successful with your weight loss and for everyone who is still waiting, hang in there...your time will come. God Bless you my wonderful AMOS family. I would NEVER have been able to make it this far without going crazy if I didn't have you guys. **HUGS** Love you all!