Hello again...
Apr 13, 2007
Well, it's been a while since I've written. Sometimes life happens you know. Well last time I weighed myself I was 163. Not bad (that's down 83 total). I want to get down to 145, which would be almost 20 more pounds but everyone keeps saying I'm already too skinny. According to all the BMI information & such, at 145 I would still be considered overweight. I've had a couple of issues with food. You know what I'm talking about - you eat something either too fast or you're talking & don't realize you haven't chewed enough & it gets stuck. It won't go down & it won't come up & you think you're going to have a heart attack & just when you tell everyone to take care of your child & tell him you alway's loved him - you finally burp & it's the biggest relief ever. AH! It's over! Well that's what I'm talking about. I still haven't been what I would consider bad with food. I haven't tried anything but protein & I suddenly LOVE soup & not the creamy ones because I've become lactose intollerant. I know soup can be a cop out - easy but sometimes whatever it takes. We've gone to restaurants & I look at the menu's & get SCARED out of my mind that I'll get sick. I usually order a soup & just taste whatever protein my husband has ordered. I never pick off my son's plate because all he ever eats is grilled cheese's but at least now instead of getting the french fries, he'll get the fruit or vegetables with the sandwich & not any soda just milk. I guess my struggles have had an effect on him also even if it's subconsciencely. He always says he's happier I quit smoking than losing the weight, but I see him smile when his friends comment on how much better I look. I tell him I did it for me mostly but also for him. I want to be around to see him grow up to be a good man, great husband & phenomonal dad. Since he's my one & only, he is the end all & be all of my existence. I love this child so much. Granted he can drive me CRAZY (that's his job & he does it well) but I love him more than he'll ever know & hopefully one day he'll understand how it feels to just look at his own child & just want to eat them up with kisses - he's at that age where he doesn't want you to even look like your with him when you're out in public but when you're alone he wants you to baby him. Whatever, I'll take what I can.
I've had issues with crying bouts. Is this normal? I mean something as dumb as I was watching that movie Walk the Line for like the 12th time (Joaquin Phoenix is soooooooo hot) & at the end when they say that June Carter Cash died & 3 months later Johnny Cash dies & I start balling. I mean heaving sobs & all & my husband & son come running into the bedroom asking what happened & I'm like "he couldn't live without her!" Seriously, what is that all about? I can't get through some of the stories in People magazine either (not the one's on the stars). I just cry. It's nuts.
I've had issues with crying bouts. Is this normal? I mean something as dumb as I was watching that movie Walk the Line for like the 12th time (Joaquin Phoenix is soooooooo hot) & at the end when they say that June Carter Cash died & 3 months later Johnny Cash dies & I start balling. I mean heaving sobs & all & my husband & son come running into the bedroom asking what happened & I'm like "he couldn't live without her!" Seriously, what is that all about? I can't get through some of the stories in People magazine either (not the one's on the stars). I just cry. It's nuts.
Welcome Back
Mar 01, 2007
Went to the doctor on Friday and complained about that pain I've had since the beginning of February. He said to take it easy for about a month but that he thinks it's the deep sutures that they put to staple your stomach together. He says if it keeps hurting me they'll have to go in and remove the staples. I couldn't believe it. I started to cry 'cause I don't want anyone going in there again - been there done that. He was like it's OK we can fix your scar while I'm at it also & your husband will love you even more. Well listen, if he loved me fat, he can love me with a 2" protruding scar. I was so sad, but of course do I listen & stay still? NO OF COURSE NOT. We went out dancing that night. But hey listen it's been 12-1/2 years since I'd been to a night club. Went with my hubby, sister-in-law (it was her b-day), brother-in-law & friend. Had the time of my life. I danced and Danced and DANCED! It was so much fun!!! The next day, we had a small get together at my mother-in-law's house because she shares a bday with my sis-in-law & I got so sick from eating the tiniest piece of roast pork. It took almost an hour for me to be able to puke it up. Ugh! Felt better after though. Didn't eat after that. I've been OK with the pain until this past Wednesday when I sneezed at work & that pain came back full blast. Went home and laid down all evening & night. Went to work like nothing had happened until about 2:30 p.m. & got the pain again but not as bad. I didn't even do anything to aggrevate it. I think I shouldn't work. What do you think?
Oh by the way - I weight 169!!!!!
Oh by the way - I weight 169!!!!!
Passed my 6th Month Anniversary
Feb 19, 2007
Well I had my 6th month anniversary last Friday. I was going to get on the scale (as promised) but decided to wait until my doctor's appointment which is next Friday (the 23rd). I'm hoping to be 169 or less. Don't know if I'll get there because I haven't been able to exercise. I'm still having that pain I wrote about before. It's not all the time, It's just when I sit wrong or bend or lift. One of my friends says it might be a hernia, my husband thinks I pulled a muscle. The weird thing is after I get the pain, I usually lie down and about 15 minutes later, I get a lot of gas. I also have this problem when I'm laying down (especially on my left side or on my stomach where I get acid reflux. Any who - that's enough complaining for now. Write soon.
What a Day!
Feb 07, 2007
Today began like any other day - then things changed. One of the school buses was in an accident on the way to school today & I get a call from the police department saying that it was a minor accident but some of the kids were very upset & they were having trouble calming them down. Well, they're retarded what do you expect. Then I got attacked by one of the students in the nurse's office. He grabbed me by my wrists & wouldn't let go for the longest time. I was very calm (on the outside) & was able to talk him down. Then I get a call from one of the teacher's whose out with a class at the mall to tell me that one of the student's ran out of Burger King upset because he spilled his milk shake. Security was called because he made such a scandal in the middle of the mall. They were about 1 hour late coming back. He came into the school & proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom & wouldn't come out. I had to get his mom to come & pick him up because we were afraid of how he'd act on the bus going home. All this stress & I didn't overeat anything. Oh how things have changed. I even have my period & I was good. Made my appointment yesterday for my 6 month update w/Dr. Iannace for 2/23. I'll be weighing myself on the 16th thought because that's my REAL 6 month anniversary. I hope to be 169 (at least).
Pretty Good / Pretty Bad
Feb 03, 2007
When I was at work on Friday, we had a couple of visitors come in. One of them is getting married next weekend & asked if I was married. I said yes & she asked for how long. When I told her for 14 years, her jaw dropped & she said "what were you 12 when you got married?" Well thank you! Especially when back 6-7 months ago she wouldn't have believed anyone would even want to look at my fat ass. Things have changed! I also saw someone I haven't seen in over a year. I went up to him & said "Hey I know you." He, of course says everyone thinks I look like someone they know. Then he took a good look at me & his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe how much weight I've lost. (By the way, I have NOT gotten on the scale again - not until 2/16!) Now, if you're asking why I titled this Pretty Bad as well as Pretty Good. I've not been feeling quite 'rite'. Last night I had the worst pain about 4 fingers below my right breast. Almost like a pulled muscle. I still feel some discomfort today but nothing like last night. I bent over to pick up some of my son's dirty clothes on his bedroom floor & that did me in. Moral of the story - DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR 11 YEAR OLD SON - HE'S BIG ENOUGHT TO DO IT HIMSELF! Sorry, was I screaming?
Weekend
Jan 28, 2007
What do other people do on the weekend? On Saturday we went to NY to buy lottery tickets. Their having this raffle on 2/9 & each ticket is $20 but you can win up to a million dollars - you've got to be in it to win it! And I need new clothes. I have not gotten on the scale yet because I still feel fat!!!!!! My husband says I'm not fat (I was fat but I'm not anymore). We went out to dinner - which now is never such a good thing as it was before. I had soup. My husband had steak. My son had a grilled cheese (what a surprise). Today, I changed curtains & sheets. Oh and I washed my hair - that's it. BORING!
Average
Jan 25, 2007
Well today was average. I DID NOT get on the scale. People did say I look great, but I feel fat. It's so depressing. Tomorrow is another day.
No so good
Jan 24, 2007
Today was not such a good day. I got on the scale (yes again) & was up 4 lbs. It's so depressing. I don't get it. I'm only 5 months out & I'm gaining. I feel like it wasn't worth all the trouble for such a short time of weight loss. Well I hope tomorrow is better. I swear I won't get on that damn scale until 2/16!
1/23/2006
Jan 23, 2007
Today is a good day. One of the student's in my school walked passed me this morning & called me "Skinny Minnie." I love kids - they're so honest. I've been stuck for about 2 weeks now. I had lost 72 lbs. but now gain the 2 lbs. & lose the 2 lbs. on a daily basis. I KNOW - I shouldn't weight myself daily, but come on - you know how it is. You know you've done it yourself.
