NTTEACHER2005

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Happy Thursday everyone. I know its been years. Im focusing on the present with my weightloss. In 2 weeks  I went from 213 to 210.4. my goal isnt pounds, its eating healthier and getting healthier so i can go to the gym in Sept. so many awesome events have happen already. me and larry had our commitment ceremony. After 3 years ttc we now have a almost 4 year old daughter in August. I have been driving for 4 years now and we own our own home. I joined planet fitness for a year and lost some weight, Im joining a closer gym in Sept. My daughter in sept will finish her last year preschool and my son is going into 8th grade. Right now im revamping my meals and snacks. I am up to 24 ozs of water a day. I eat alot of veggies. I am staying away from sugars in foods and no bread, no candy, cookies or cake. No potatoes, no corn or rice. no red meat or pork. im eating chicken, clams& turkey. im going to be adding shrimp in august. Ive been eating alot of salad. I do eat water melon and grapes. Looking foward to blogging more. 

I'm 207!!! 38lbs to lose!!! 

REI appt got cancelled for our IUI refferal. we are rescheduling soon. Gotta make sure its in the before the 16th of any month and it has to be 5 days before so i can make a med cab. 

I'm still working on my liscence, i have it rescheduled. I am working on my left turns& parallel parking. I am good with 3 pt turns & right turns. 

I joined a choir every monday evening. 

Walking dead & once upon a time came back on :) 

waiting to see the last breaking dawn movie nov. 16th

I have been eating well, going to the gym 1x a week. Added some zumba &  walking. 

My 30th b-day is on friday. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of a green and purple butterfly with black outline, small one on my shoulder. we are going out to dinner& go karts& mini golf, i wish karaoke was on a friday nite,  maybe dancing? idk. 

nick is supposed to be rodney copper bottom from the movie robots and i'm going to be a gypsy. i will still dress up even if theres no trick or treating on wed b/c of hurricane sandy. 

I fit into a size 16!!! OMG i am not a 24 anymore!!! woot!!! I gave my big clothes away & i'm selling my halloween costumes that are 22/24. 

 

I have been wearing jewlery & make up. Got lots of new clothes from my sister, my friends mil i got 2 outfits. 

i have new pictures i'll be posting soon :) 

 

hope everyone has a safe week.

 - had a weight plateau :/  went from april being 209 to  Aug 215. It took me till now to lose 3lbs. i am 213lbs as of 2 weeks ago. i didn't weigh myself yet. I am working on losing 20 by Dec hopefully. We are still TTC, we have a REI appt in Oct to discuss IUI. 

- My Commitment ceremony was awesome! I can't wait till the proofs & Video comes in :) 

- My road test is Oct 19th, i've been practicing 7 mths now. i'm ready. 

 My goal is 200, i have 9lbs to go. 
I'm eating healthy.
i'm excersizing 2x-3x a week
I'm all caught up on medical almost just a few more appoints and i'll be done for a doctor free summer :)
i'm a size 16-18 in shirts& pants

My wedding is 5mths and 2 weeks
My goal by Sept is 170lbs
To be in a size 12-14

 I've been going to the gym 2-3x a week. Food has still been a fighting issue for me, especially with going down on medication, i get depressed and there goes food in my mouth, i've been eating healthy food thoug, snacking on dried banana chips, carrots, celery, jello sugar free, trail mix, sea salt peanuits, raisins, organic fruit strips. i've been buying food from trader joes and whole foods, we have to find less fat meat in stop and shop. the food stamps are going too fast and not enough to stretch a month. ,

i'm waiting to try for a baby again. it's been a hard road.  i'm losing weight to be healthy for Nick & our future child, most of all myself. it's hard dealing with bipolar. every day is a struggle. i am fighting it, like a alcholic or a person on drugs. i cry, i get angry. i WILL NOT let it control me. I pray everyday. I know god hears me and my prayers get answered slowly. I'm just greatful for being alive everyday and that i'm doing this to live longer and healthier. I love having more energy then before and i have to get back into Just dance 3, its been 2 weeks. I've been slacking. Alot has been going on. I know i'll get back into it, Everyone goes on a plateu. I'm happy i'm going to counseling and talking it helps. I am hoping we can start trying in march or april. i'm nervous about the what if's. i just want a healthy child. no cleft palate.

i want the pregnancy i had with nick, minus the falling in the shower. i have a shower chair and i wont be working or going to school. so i'll be able to do what i have to do and when larry comes home, he gets the baby and me and nick spend time together also me and nick will have mommy and nick days. i love my son so much i want him to be a big brother, b/c i know this would be good for him. he wants a sibling. he's told me. he wants to help me with the baby. he wants a sister. he tells me all the time. he is nervous  as i am though and asked me, will you still play with me, and i said of course i will need your help b/c your a big boy and only if you want to. you will always be my first child and i will spoil him always. he is the best person to come in my life. he is my life and if me and larry never have a child. i will spoil nick forever, anything he wants he'll get b/c life is short and as long as i have the rent paid each month and cell. whatever money is left over will go to nick and i want him to enjoy food., toys games etc. i've always wanted to be a mother and i'm glad to. i wouldn't change it for anything. he keeps me going and makes me realize that life is wonderful. my purpose in life is to be a mother and love and be loved. i have that and for that i'm greatful.
 
larry wants a child with me and going to counseling with him made me see how much he is willing to be there for me, he told me, he supports me 100%. He will be there to make sure i'm ok and that i get through everyday. He is my rock, just like my mother. She's always been there. My family is important to me and i want a baby girl, b/c i want to have the bond that my mother has with me. I don't know the type of child i will have. I will raise her to be respectful and do my best. i pray she doesn't end up like me and i will get her counseling ifi notice anything wrong, she will get help right away. I'm prepared to get the best medical help for both my children. I pray and know she will come in our lives. I have a feeling. I just know. I've dreamt about it. i know it will happen. i have to stay positive about everything in my life. i will be 180 again.  i am going on a weekend vacation in  less than 2 weeks i'm excited i will have my baby girl one day, go on summer vacation,  get married, go to vegas. i'll have it all.  

 my scale was broken, it weighed me 8lbs lighter then i really was. so i was pissed. Finally after 2 weeks i got a regular reading of 214lbs. today i weighed myself this morning before i ate and after i went to the bathroom. i gained almost 2 pounds. i'm 215.8lbs. i feel like crap. haven't been sleeping right, insomnia, i've been eating at nite again. i'm hungry and nervous. this whole ttc while losing weight isnt working out for me :(  i've decided if i'm not pregnant by March. We are taking a break till July and if we don't concieve in July we are waiting till  our honeymoon in  nov. we are going to Vegas. We've decided to take a family trip in July to somewhere close. It was going to be VA but we decided on if i'm not pregnant why spend the money on a big trip, we can make 2 trips and have that honey moon. Plus I don't want to be pregnant going to Vegas. This is all spectulation, b/c if i'm pregnant this month then thats great exactly what i wanted. if not. 2 more months and then if i'm not, finally a break for 3 mths. I'm sick of ttc , i just want to be pregnant already. I got Wii for x mas. I play just dance 3 everyday for 15mins-1hr depends on time i have. I make sure to play it everyday. i'm eating healthy as i can. i did buy ice cream a mistake and licorice. i just have a love& hate relationship with food. My knee brace and waist thinner is awesome. I love them!!! I'm pissed on my weight gain. but i'm going to work it off. House cleaning today after the gym. Vaccum and toliet. Did the dishes, towels & kitchen. Tommorow Sweep& mop floors. 

 today i caculated my BMI  b/c it wasnt updated

 210 pounds | BMI 39.7  I'm almost at my goal of 36 bmi then i want to go down further 

i was 218 BMI  40.6 i never checked my OH site in a long time. I'm back. Unfortunately i'm still 210. its been 2 weeks on a plateau. I am going to eat a home cooked meal for x mas instead of ordering out and i've deleted all junk food from our house, except what is nicks, i put in a corner on the counter for him. i've been going 2x a week to gym. i plan to go 4x a week soon. i haven't excersized at home in a week. but i've been cleaning n doing laundry so thats excersize. i've wrapped all the presents. we have our tree up. still waiting for the reborn i made to get sold. i am keeping busy. my goal is 10lbs lose a month here's my time line i found old journal entries how much weight i was. 

June-250- i actually was this heavy
July- 240
August-235
Sept - 225
Oct -218
Nov- 215
dec 210- working on another 2lbs in the next two weeks, would love to be 208 by nyrs eve wish me luck. 

my goals are every month  lose 10lbs 

I plan to be 130-150 by Sept 2012 for my wedding dress. 
If we get pregnant i plan to only gain 20lbs and moderate excersize and still eat healthy. we still havent decided. but as of now we are preventing and i'm focusing on losing weight so it will be worth it when we do decide i'll be happier and thinner. i hope santa gets me a wii for x mas with just dance 3, i want to work out to it when i don't go to the gym. I also want a nikon to take better pictures. i'm praying. i hope nick is happy with what we bought him, i'm sure he will be :) 

gotta do more laundry, putting more stuff in the lupus bags. my house looks less crowded and i feel great in my size  18 jeans, i did fit in a 16 but i dryed them and they shrank :( so i have to wait to fitr in them.  i'm not drying my size 18's  b/c they'll shrink in the dryer. i have a cardio appt tommorow i'll update everyone soon. i have to see a eye doctor just for check up. i've been having some issues seeing small print, i might need glasses.  i was thinking i should take another lyme test, it wioll be 6 mths since i did one, it was neg, i want to make sure i havent got it again. this area is known for lyme diease. i have to get the regular test then anti body, need to get a refferal. i was going to see rhemtologist, but i doubt theres much she can do for me. i'm in alot of knee pain. it slips out of socket and goes back in. i'm limping sometimes and i got a shower chair and its much easier now, i was thinkin knee braces, anyone have any advice? i've been having trouble sleeping 1130 12am i go to bed, alot on my mind. my goal for jan is to get to sleep around 11pm and then work on going to bed 10:30pm. i've been writing in my journal and talking to my counslor and my mom. it was nice to see alot of sides and every ones opinion and they all have good points and some i disagree and can make a neg a postive but in the end its my decsion. i hope that everyone has a great holiday if i dont write till jan.  tareena :) 

 i weighed myself this morning according to my scale i'm 210lbs! 10lbs till 200lbs yay! I am eating healthy compared to last week, i was a lil sad about jellybean, i over ate one day. but i've been making up for it, alot of walking, going through house stuff to give to lupus, decorated the christmas tree with nick& larry. I put the xx-mas tree together myself :) I have been cooking and cleaning. laundry tommorow. Doc appts, getting the refferal to see heart doctor. going to get some work out pants and a pair of jeans. i also am going to get some body wash,  japanese cherry blosssum and see if their soaps are in the store at bath n body works. gotta get some stuff at stopNshop. busy week. ttys! tareena

   i weighed a few days ago the way my friend crystol told me to and guess what i lost another 2lbs. a total of 27lbs lost! 213lbs now woot! 45lbs to go. then mom called , our family cat that lived at my parents house passed away. i am sad, i cried for a lil bit, but i know she's with god now. but it hurts that i didn't get to say goodbye. i haven't been there in 2 weeks :(  

i screwed up and pigged out yesterday, today i did a lil better. food is comfort when i'm sad. tommorow i'm going to the gym. gotta fold laundry before nick gets home ttys!

 - i got down to 215lbs, i feel great, got some new clothes, packing for our trip to FL. Taking my new clothes i fit into there :)  I did 45min dancing work out with mom :) I'm going to do it when i don't have gym. I'm happy and tired long day. I miss nick, he's sleeping over nannies. Going to see breakin dawn again, this time with hubby tommorow. grandma looks happy. but i can see she's disorientated : /  i know it's going to be hard. my arms are killing me. going to relax before bed nite.