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Wow, so I know I haven't posted in here for a very long time, but I think its about time I sit down and write about everything.

The day before surgery, my mom came in to spend the next week and a half with me.  We did some visiting, picked up a few things that I needed, such as my B12 and I got my last Big Mac for a very long time.

The morning of the surgery, Wednesday the 5th of September, I woke up at 4 am, showered, and with my friends Drea and Lance, my husband and my mom, we headed out to Maryview Medical Center.  I arrived at 5:30 as requested, but they didn't take me back for prep until about 6:30.  Back there, there were a few complications.  One being, I had been dealing with a slight head cold.  OMG, I thought they were not going to let me go to surgery.  They were telling me we will need to put it off and all this fun stuff... and I'm like NOOOOO do it!! I have waited too long for a little sniffle to stop me now.  Oh wow, they really didn't want to bend on it.  But pretty much it got to the point where they said, look, we'll do it, but you need to know what could happen.. and I'm like.. I don't care!  Lets go!  Wheel me in!

So they did.

The last thing I remember was looking around at all the bright lights and equipment.  Then I woke up somewhat later to them putting the pain pump in my hand.  I'm glad I slept through it all... for real.  I was really still out of it though, and honestly I don't have another clear memory until much later that night.  I know I was on the phone with some people, couldn't tell you who or what I said.  And I know I hit that pain pump like I was a Jeopardy whiz kid.

The day after surgery I couldn't have been more excited about getting some water in my mouth than ever.  OMG.  But I was in pain.  I was begging for my meds and made sure to remind my nurses it was time!!! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!!!  Mom helped me wash off a bit.  I had visitors.  I got some flowers.  It was nice.  But I was so angry at myself.  This was just not worth it.  That pain was just not worth it.  Or at least, thats what I was thinking then.. LOL.  I got over that after a couple days.  Hah!

I did walk.  The night of the surgery I couldn't wait to get up and move.  I hated being in that bed.  I was just so uncomfortable.  And once I did walk, I felt sooo much better.  Thursday I did more walking, but I would get thirsty very quickly, so I'd want to gulp, and that made me feel worse.  The rest of my day was spent either on the phone or watching TV.  That night I was just very painfully uncomfortable, and spent some of the stradling my legs around the bed and laying my head forward on the headboard.

Friday, I was told I could go home.  My breakfast consisted of eggs.  Yum.  They were bland.  But food.  I ate MAYBE half an ounce and then I had enough for sure.  About 11am I was dressed and like.. get me the hell out of here.  I let them wheel me down to the pharmacy, and I walked from there.  We picked up my meds (my new bp medicine, my blood thinner shots, and my pain meds) and left the hospital.  Mom and I headed to Wal-Mart.

From here, I decided it would prolly be best for me to use the lil electric carts that they provide.  It was a bit embarrassing for me, because.. well.. I'm fat.  I don't need people judging me.  But then again.. I just had surgery and it really hurt... so fuck them.  *shrug*.  Well, we go to get a few other things that we needed and then eventually I started getting very very nauseous.  I felt just ... awful.  We left.  By the time I got home, I still felt bad, but I started dry heaving like once an hour.  Mom called Dr. Spencer's office and they called me in a prescription for my nausea.  Oh that stuff was heavenly.  It took away all the sickly feelings.  I continued to take that for the next couple days as often as recommended.  Nausea went away after about 3 days or so.

So other than those small complications, I have been doing well with everything else.  I have been getting in my liquids.  I have been taking my protein shakes.  Personally, I use and recommend the Worldwide Pure Protein shakes.  They taste great and have 35 grams of protein.  They are just a little expensive, so be prepared.  A case of 12 is about 26 bucks.  I have taken all of my meds except ONE night I did forget to take my second BP pill, my cholesterol pill and my second vitamin.  But that is just once.  I have been choking down my nasty ass calcium wafers, but I'm ordering my upcal-d this friday.  

My foods have stayed pretty much around chickens, turkeys, eggs and yogurt.  I have however been finding that I am eating much more than an ounce already.  I'm worried about that.  I'm prolly closer to 2 oz or maybe 2 and a half.  I hope this is ok.

Oh and I was very bad this past Sunday.  I had a small piece of steak.  Mind you, I'm only supposed to stick to the lean meats for this stage of the diet, but it looked soooo good and it was either that or baby shrimp (yuck!).  I didn't have any trouble with it though.  I took small small bites and chewed chewed chewed till I couldn't chew anymore.

So really, all in a whole, everything has been great.  The pain went away after a day or so at home.  Or at least I stopped taking the meds for it.  The remaining pain was tolerable.  The only thing I really hate is the crushed pills and the calcium wafers.  I'll be glad when I can get past that stuff (taking whole pills again and the up-cal d).  

And it was worth it.  We are seeing the weight loss in my face, and somewhat in my belly, as its not as protruding.  I can tell by wearing some of the shirts that were snug before.  I weighed myself last Sunday, which is two weeks and 4 days post op, and I have lost 19 pounds already.  

Oh yes, so far, very much worth it.

I'll try to keep this up better.  :)  Hi to all my new friends!!!

Wow, so, I know I haven't updated this thing in forever and then some, but finally some things have occured and I have a good reason to update. :D   

First off, tomorrow marks 6 weeks from surgery.  Wow!  It is getting so close!   

Ok, so yesterday I had some appointments all together in one day to take care of.  I arrived at Harbor View yesterday morning around 7:30ish and signed in.  After a little bit, I went in for my EKG test.  Now this was simple as pie.  Of course I had to strip, waist up, and put on a hospital gown, they put those little sticker things on each of my arms, my left leg, and under my right breast.  Then they attatched the wires to those.  I'm laid back on a chair relaxing.  While the machine was checking me out, I chatted a bit with the attendant, and then it was all done like.. in under 2 minutes.  She said I was perfectly fine.  Woohoo!  So then, carrying my clothes, I had to head down the hall to get my chest x-ray.  Again, simple.  I was all pressed up a board for a second, holding a deep breath, then next from the side, arms up in the air, and holding a deep breath.  Too simple.  She was all worried if I could be pregnant, of course, but I assured her there was no chance.   

So then, after getting dressed, I headed down to the Bariatrics office where I met w/ Jackie Browning.  Jackie is the dietician for this department.  We went over just about everything that I already knew, how much I could eat, how often, eat slow, etc etc.  Then she showed me a couple options for my different suppliments such as protein shakes, calcium, and b12.  Of course I already have the Flinstone vitamins, and I will continue to take those twice a day... however I can't take them at the same time as I do now, those will have to be a different times of the day. :)  Same with the calcium, that will be like.. 3 times a day daily.  The b12, depending on how much I take could be daily or 3 times a week.  Those are all for life.  Protein shakes, I have to take enough to give me around 35 - 40 grams of protein a day, but after a year I should be making up for that in food and I can stop the shakes if needed.   

She gave me a couple samples that could be used for protein, some sort of fruit drink and a cocoa mix as well, and gave me a place where I can order some free calcium samples as well as a place where they are really cheap.  So yeah!  I need cheap, ok?!  Thanks :D  Mom has already given me several containers of protein mix so I should be set on those for a while too.  So it looks like the only thing I need to purchase right away will be the B12.   

So, I got out of there around 9:20ish or so, and then headed to Dr. Moore's office in Portsmouth, a psychiatrist.  Since I was so early, I just hung out in the waiting room and read the new Harry Potter book.  :P  But it was all good, when I got in there she had lots and lots of questions about my life, and me being on prozac and such.  Like...   

What was high school like for me? 
What was my home situation growing up? 
What was my relationship with my mom like? 
What is my marriage like now?  How sturdy is it? 
How does my husband feel about me getting the surgery? (I told her that I was glad she asked this one...) 
Who is going to take care of me post surgery? 
How am I going to change my lifestyle post surgery? 
What do I really feel this surgery will change about me? 
and of course...
Why do you feel that you need this surgery?   

Well, to make a long story short, I passed all her tests with flying colors.  I did ask her why do they require the psy visit.  She informed me that it is mostly to make sure that the patient will be able to mentally handle the surgery and the after affects, as well as have the mental stability and IQ to take the proper procedures in post surgery.  She felt I was a great candidate, and agreed that I should stay on my prozac for my anxiety build ups, and even suggested that I ask Dr. Leadbeater about the liquid form until I will be able to take whole pills again.    

This was also, smooth as silk and a great visit.   

I also dropped off paperwork needed by my human resources department for the leave time to Dr. Spencer's office, so I have that out of the way and being processed as well.   

So, next Tuesday I do lab/bloodwork, and then it will be my pre-op physical with Dr. Leadbeater on August 8th!  After that, the insurance can be processed for approval!   

Cross your fingers!   :D

So, I forgot to update yesterday.

Actually I really just don't have that much going on for me to update any.  Its pretty quiet right now.  I am calm, but still worried when I think of how the insurance is going to swing when it comes time.   

I called last week to see when the approval will start, but found out that Cigna requires all of my medical results and stuff before they can even begin an approval.  So.. I will have to wait all the way till August 8th (after my pre-op exam) before we can even start.  That really stresses me out, because that means I will have less than a month to get them to approve, and if they don't, appeal, and then possibly even appeal again.   

Chances are I will be approved.  I know that.  It's more likely that they will approve me than not.  I have looked through the Cigna PPO reports that people have made, and most were denied but then approved after the first appeal.  But then, most of those people didn't have the medical need like I did.  Most were at a BMI of like... 45.  I'm a 58.  Most didn't have any medical problems like I do, like HBP, Cholesterol, borderline diabetes, slight sleep apnea, depression, and joint pains.  Chances are, they will want to get this taken care of, before I have more costly medical problems in the future.  God I hope so.   

So, other than worrying about this, I also need to start saving up to 380 bucks to pay them a couple weeks before the surgery.  This is a required amount to pay.  Ugh, that really doesn't seem like much money, but it really is at the same time.    

I wish they could just get this overwith.

It's official.  Today is the first day towards a new, healthier me.  Today I will become, officially, Dr. Spencer's patient.

My god, I am so nervous and excited, and everything else... I don't know what to think.

I told a co-worker:  
[12:12] Torri  at  TWS: i'm so damn happy i could just puke rainbows

LOL.  Wow.  This is finally happening.

I'm so nervous.  So, my biggest fears are that the insurance is going to deny me all the way, and I am afraid of finacially affording this.  I really need a break.  I hope they give me one.  Mom said yesterday, if anyone can do this, that I can.  I know she is right.  I just hope everything else goes in my favor.

I'm not scared of the surgery.  I'm not scared of the diet.  I am more scared that something is going to go wrong as far as ... disapointment goes.  I have been looking forward to this for too long for it to be screwed up now.

Say some prayers for me.  I'll update more tonight or tomorrow...

So yeah, lots and lots have changed.  Let me try to cover over everything that I have missed and my past concerns and stuff...

the WLS Support Group meetings - I have continued to attend these throughout all these months, missing one or two here or there, and I have really learned a lot.  I am learning more about others that have gone through what I am about to go through.  I have made a couple friends, and I know some names.  It is definately beneficial.
 
Diana - Diana has lost right at 100 lbs.  Even she can admit that she hasn't done the best she could, as she has been one of the lucky ones who can still eat just about everything without too much worry of dumping or whatever.  She does snack a little here and there, and she is still able to have some sweets.  I hate her.  :)  She looks great however, and her goal is to still lose another 20 lbs. 
 
My Husband - Tony is taking on everything much better.  He is now at the point of accepting the surgery, and has even attended some of the support group meetings with me.  He still doesn't quite feel like the surgery is the best option for anyone, but I think deep down he has let it cross his mind a couple times for even himself.  Mostly for the reasons that his nurse practioner is concerned for his health (he has high bp, cholesterol, and high risk for diabetes).  Tony loves me for me, and I think beyond everything he wants me to be happy, healthy, and around for a long time.  I still have those deep down worries about him still being attracted to me once I lost weight, and I did express this to him last weekend.  He loved on me some, and said.. nah,... I ain't getting rid of you anytime soon.  :)
 
Insurance - Oh yes.. I got rid of that Optima HMO.  Tah hell with them.  My work dropped them as a provider anyway because they were VERY overpriced.  Currently I am on Cigna PPO... and YES they do cover WLS.  Oh boy I was a happy chick when I found that out.  Now, the ladies have told me that Cigna does require the 6 month eval in order to approve me.  Well, I am happy to say that I have already jumped the gun on that and am already 4 months in.  So, either way, I am doing what I can to get this going.
 
Current Health - I am still on meds for my blood pressure and my cholesterol.  At my last appointment my blood pressure was 120/70.  Which is very good... My cholestorol was 201.  Only 1 over what it should be... We upped my meds some, and I should see some better results.  However, my depression and anxiety has returned, mostly related to stress at work, so we have put me back on Prozac.  Just 20mg.  Not too bad.  It helps tho.  I was having problems with migraines related to the stress/anxiety, and we had me go in for an MRI.  Nothing found.  I'm a-ok.  I have only had a few migraines since, but I am dealing with them.
 
Other stuff...
 
I went to the seminar in June.  Since my insurance was no-go then, nothing happened.  However, I re-attended the seminar back on March 20th.  Nothing new was really learned, but this time the ball is rolling.  My first appointment with Dr. David Spencer is on April 17th.  I cannot express how excited I am about this.  I am ready for them to just take me to the OR.  I feel like I AM READY.  I have learned everything I could possibly learn.  I have talked to multiple people.  I am ready. 
 
Surgeries are now being scheduled for late July and August according to Melodye (the Bon Secour Bariatrics director).  I am expecting that mine will be around August or September.  I am so happy.  Finally.. something is going to happen.
 
Just as reference... here is the Bariatrics department's home page:  http://www.bonsecourshamptonroads.com/bariatrics/index.html
And here is Dr. Spencer's profile:  http://www.bonsecourshamptonroads.com/bariatrics/meet_dspencer.html
And here is Dr. Spencer's reviews here on Obesity Help:  http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/bariatric+surgeon+profile+David+Spencer+MD+ddt.html
 
Yep.  Ok.. thats it.  You will get another update after my visit with Spencer next week.  :)

So, things are kinda underway for me to take some action. Where it goes from here I am still unsure. This Friday I am going to see Dr. Leadbeater to talk about my meds and how expensive they are. I'm gonna see if she wants to just take me off the Lipitor (for my cholesterol), since I was borderline anyway, and see where it goes with that. As for the Benicar HCT (for my HBP), I think I would like to stay on that, because every time I have checked my blood pressure lately, it has been perfect numbers. I'm hoping maybe she will have more samples for me to take home. Last time I took a bag full of them. But they are like $40 as my co-pay from Walgreen's. ... Expensive shit. :-/

I'm also going to talk to her about a refferral, since I am HMO. The last time I saw her, and we spoke about WLS, she was all about me going to Harbor View to talk to them about it, so I doubt she will give me any issues.

Yesterday I also set up to go to the free seminar on June 1st for WLS. When I called they asked a couple personal questions such as weight and height, which I wouldn't have called at work if I knew that was going to happen. I just don't want anyone to know about that, or that I am considering the surgery. She told me to bring my insurance card and my I.D., and she also recommended that I go ahead and call my provider and see if they will cover it.

Well, to avoid any other personal questions, I didn't want to call, but Drea offered to call for me. I gave her all my information, which I trust her with, cuz she'z kool lik dat yo, and she called. Well.. then I got the bad news. Optima HMO does not cover WLS. My heart dropped, and I started crying.

Then after talking more to Drea, my friend here at work that got WLS a few weeks ago, and with my mom (a RN), they told me that if the Dr. deems in necessary for me to have the procedure to rule out possible risks in the future, then I have a damn good chance of getting approved. I can't help but still be concerned, but as I have been saying about everything so far with this, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

So that's what is weighing on my mind right now. Just thought I would share