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Yesterday was really my three year anniversary, but I got an email today and thought I'd write and just touch bases.  These three years have been quite the journey.  I've lost 60 punds, gained back 15, had a revision surgery, not really losing.  But, I'm not really doing what I should be doing either.   Trust me when I tell you that I'm not going to be one of those people who blame anyone else.  My surgeon is great.  My experience has been good.  It's been me.  I ate less, and I exercised.  I think I should have gotten more professional help and dealt with my emotions more and therefore dealt with why I was using food.  Don't worry, I haven't completely fallen off the wagon.  I tell you, I remember how good I felt when I started losing weight and I hope to feel that way again.  Right now I'm just continuing to climb this uphill battle.  If I had any advice to give it would be this:

-Don't beat yourself up if you fall off.  Just get up and start again.
-Find some people who will really support you.  Not everyone is happy you decided on surgery.  Someone will think it's a terrible idea, but they won't have the guts to tell you.  There are those of us who will say "Do what you want to do for you.  Screw em!"
-Get help.  Talk to someone professional.  I wish I had done that.  There will be times you'll feel emotions that have fallen out of the clear blue sky.  I was so angry and I didn't know why.  Now I do.
-"To thine own self be true".  Even when you lose weight.
- Finally, you may need a revision.  Don't just have your band revised, Revise your thinking too!  Corny, I know.

Anyway, I wish all those who are starting on this journey well.  I don't check this site as often as I used to, but I do from time to time.

Take care of yourselves and have a wonderful holiday season.

So it's been another three months and I'm still hanging in there.  After a couple of fills, I'm slowly getting to restriction.  Dr. T told me that it would take awhile and it is.  I'm not really gaining but I'm not losing either.  But there are things that I'm not doing either to help things along.  The holidays are coming and I'm just trying not to overdo it.  I've still got clothes that I need to get into.  Anyway, I just wanted to check in.  Maybe I'll do better with blogging but I'm not promising anything.
Happy Thanksgiving!

I know it's been awhile and I said I would do better but it's difficult sometimes.  I made it through the school year and I was appointed to be an assistant principal at the end of the year at the school where I was this past school year.  Though I wasn't initially thrilled that I would be staying, I'm feeling better about it. 
As far as WLS, I haven't been doing too well.  I've gained back the weight I lost when I had my revision.  I still don't have any restriction even after my first fill.  Unfortunately for me and my clothes, I can't go back until the end of July. 
I've been feeling really depressed lately and I can't seem to shake it.   I feel like I've failed and I can't understand why I'm in the place that I'm in.  No one really understands what I'm going through and I don't really know how to explain it.  Maybe I was never really happy to begin with.  I think it might be a phase, and I hope that I can pull myself out of it soon.  I have a good life.  I'm finally making decent money, I have great friends and I'm doing more things that I like to do.  I love my niece and nephew very much and hate when I have to leave them.  My family life is good though they are giving me grief about the weight I gained.  I wish my personal life was a little better. I need to improve my spiritual life, but these are things that I can change.
Anyway, just pray that I get myself together and that the clouds will go away soon.

I hope that all Mothers have a great day today.  I visited another church today to see my friend dance with her dance ministry team.  Even though I was by myself, many people wished me a happy mother's day.  Now, I'm thinking that I have never physically given birth, so I really don't deserve to be wished a happy mother's day.  Then I thought about the number of teenagers that I come across on a daily basis.  Many of them may not have a positive mother influence or just need an adult to talk to.  In that sense, I guess I do deserve it.  We've gone through a lot at our school, and honestly I will be glad when the year is over.  However, there are some students I will miss, especially if I get transfered to another school.  For many years I thought that Mother's day was strictly for those who have given birth.  But it's also for those of us who have to be mom on a daily basis.  
On to WLS matters, I seem to be healing pretty well.  I had to go to the doctor because my shoulder has been killing me.  I read a post yesterday that maybe explained why I was having so much pain. The joint is inflamed, and I think it has to do with me being strapped down on the table. I see my surgeon on Wednesday and I will ask him.  So far, I've lost 7 pounds and I am feeling alot better as the days go by.  I'm going to start my exercising soon.
Anyway,   have a great day!

Well I'm back and finally feel like posting.  I did have my revision surgery but I ended up having to stay overnight in the hospital.  The surgery ended up taking longer than my surgeon originally thought because scar tissue had grown around the band. I have never heard of that, and when I researched it online it made me nervous so I stopped.  Anyway,  of course the anesthia made me sick and that awful, dreadful upper GI X-ray with that nasty tasting stuff that I had to drink.  The doctor's like "take a big swallow," and I'm thinking how 'bout you KMA! They monitored me all night and I was able to go home on Wednesday.  Now I'm just trying to recuperate.  I'm on liquids again and I'm trying to take it easy.  I've got a lot of shoulder pain this time and it's driving me crazy.  Otherwise, I feel pretty good.  I go back to work on Monday and I hope I'll be ok.  

It's been awhile, but with this new job it's just impossible to keep up like I used to.  On Tuesday, I will be having a revision surgery of my band.  It has slipped out of its position along with a hiatal hernia repair.  But hopefully this will now jump start my weight loss again.  I'm not looking forward to losing my hair again, but I will try to keep it from happening.  I don't feel like I've failed, but I will try to do things better this time.  So much is going on at school and it's been really stressful.  Thankfully I haven't gained that much since my band has been emptied.  And, I'm actually glad that I'll have a break from work.  Anyway, I hope to check in later in the week, and hopefully I'll be posting on a regular basis.

And happy birthday to me, happy V- day, and happy President's Day.
It's been a long time but I'm still here. My weight is going up and down.  The last time I went in for a fill my pouch looked a little funny (my words, not the doctors).  I go again on Thursday to find out if I have to be endoscoped.  I'm hoping everything is all right.  Honestly, I may have stretched out my pouch, and I think it's due to November's incident.  I'm hoping that it was just that one time thing.  I really don't want to have to go under the knife again, but it's a real possibility.  Otherwise, I'm doing all right.  The job is better, I'm not as stressed, but having some difficulty falling asleep.  The new semester has begun and it's well on its way.  Spring break is the end of next month, not that I'm counting, but always looking forward to a break.  
Anyway, I guess I'll post once I find out what the dr. says.

It's been 30 days, but I still lurk around the boards and read the posts.  As usual, they are very helpful.  
I had an unfortunate incident with some turkey the other night.  In one word...STUCK!!!!  It finally moved, but not after some coaxing and begging (please move...please move).  In the middle of  the night, I woke up with a terrible pain right where my band is.  I finally got up and took an 8 hour Tylenol, and that allowed me to go back to sleep.  But yesterday I felt miserable.  I had so much pain! I think I was just swollen and didn't do too much damage.  Yesterday I don't think I really ate at all.  I had some hot tea, and luckily one of the teachers had set up some treats for us, which included hot apple cider.  When I got home (after suffering all day)  I pureed some soup so I could at least take a vicodan and relax.  That helped tremendously, but I'm still a little tender today.  So, I spent the day drinking tea and getting plenty of water.  I've eaten a little, but I can tell I'm still swollen.  I'm really scared that I've done some damage in all honesty, because the last time this happened, I had to get unfilled.  I'll give it a couple of days of mushies and liquids, and hopefully the swelling will go down.  Luckily I'm not really starving.  The liquids help alot.  Anyway, I've lost the weight I've gained over the summer, partly due to my crazy work schedule.  I don't really have time to sit and eat.  The extra curricular activities that I have to attend keep me out, but then that leads to fast food.  But, at least I've lost the 12 pounds that I had gained.  Hopefully I'll post again before the holidays.  

God bless and good night.

I'm still feeling the pressures of work.  I know that I'm supposed to be discussing weight loss, and I am losing weight, but it's because I'm so stressed that I haven't had much of an appetite.  I'm trying not be so stressed, but sometimes I can't help it.  I'm so tense and my nerves are so bad.  I wish that I didn' t feel this way,  but I just don't know how to not stress.  It's tearing me up inside.

I'm feeling very stressed and have been for a while.  I got a new job and it really has me stressed out and not eating right.  I need another fill, but just can't afford another uninsured fill.  I'm really feeling the effects of stress, and I've never felt like this before.  I check my bp every day to make sure that it's not too high.  I also check my sugar levels, and they continue to be good.  I constantly worry that I'm not doing a good job, but no one has told me otherwise.  I'm thankful for people around me who are doing what I'm doing, and that gives me strength.  I need to start exercising again, but when I get home I'm sooo tired that I don't feel like doing anything.   I got to get back on my routine because I'm definitely going back to my old habits.