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 I am soo anxious I cannot sleep and i still have to work all day today :-)

Hmmm, as I laid in my bed I was unable to fall back to sleep as my electronic alarm (my blackberry) that was laying on my bed started vibrating with updates! I can not read the entertainment Cynopsis today!!!!!!! I cannot read or focus on anything but becoming the new me!!!

With that said, I am going to read a bit and face book the rest until I happily fall to sleep; Mac in lap needing to awake at 8 am to go to work. I am going to have a great day and am going to report back later!!

Funny, after all that I did not eat anything. Not even a morsel. I did great! I am awaiting tomorrow's challenge and will face it with courage and resilience! lol

Anyway, visited my therapist and we totally talked about everything. I am so ready for this to be over with and ready to start with my new life!

Until tomorrow........One day and a wake up left. (I think that's how you say it!)

I have a juicer. Funny its a very expensive one, and remembered buying a  one, but cannot find it. I guess I will protein drink it until I get another one. I am a planner and I do not plan on going to the store anymore this week! lol


Anyhow, Counting down the days. I have come along way since the other day when I was still unsure of this being what I wanted to do!

Anyway, just a brief update. I love my blog, that way, I can type what I want when I want and not be judged. 

Until later...............

I am truly excited. I just left the grocery store picking up popsicles and other things I will need post-op. My daughter had to shop for her three week stint out of school. She's my savior in always being there when I get out of surgery for help. 

Eating healthy costs. I spent $70+ at the store and literally had a few things. That's so uncool!


Very, very, very excited. Only a few more days left!

I am super anxious, nervous, terrified and any other emotion you could imagine at this point. Hmmmm, what am I going to do. I feel like I need something to calm my nerves!

Anyway. I picked up slipper socks today and my bag is completely packed. I have my transportation to and from worked out and my babies, 11 year old daughter and my Maltese/Shih Tzu mixed all taken care of! My Angel had surgery two years ago and she is the BEST! I so love her. We work together and she is going to transport me and be my company at the hospital. I am fortunate to have her as my friend!

Getting there.
Going to speak to my therapist on Monday. I'm sure I will feel better about that!

Yesterday was awesome. Ended the day with my long term therapist who is the BEST ever. He gets me and I like that! Some may ask, why I have a male therapist, because I am a tomboy at heart and I dig men more than women whom I tend to view as catty and unsupported of my changes.

Anyway, I told him of the anxiety that I am having concerning my surgery. Like, what would happen if I didn't wake up or I developed some infirmity from the surgery....Things like that. He said, as I already know that these thoughts are normal.  Anyhow, I just cannot seem to stop having them. So much so, I have researched mortality rates and complications.....

Anyhow, he reminded me that I am healthy with a few slight issues (sleep apnea) but should be fine.

I am ready for this surgery to correct my bad behaviors towards food. I would like to get my body back into the shape it was ten years ago before having a child and without all the junk and with constant exercising! This is for me! I have not done anything for me in a very, very, very, long time!

I have yet to tell my parents and family and my therapists feels that this is a personal decision, but honestly, I am not sure that I will before I have the procedure done. This is due to the lack of support I have received over the years which would be totally TMI at this point, but I just want to exclude them. I have told my 11 year old and she understands why I am doing this and wants her mother to have a better life as well. So I think I am good. I have made arrangements with two close friends to take care of her for a few days while I am away.

Now, I think I am done ranting, but I felt I need to type this to get this off of my mind and heart. Now I feel better and am completely at peace with my decision!

I AM READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was a little discouraged after my pre-op yesterday, but my surgeon is so AWESOME! He totally has me fixed up. I am on my iron fortified foods and iron tabs twice a day. I also have a HPACK of antibiotics. This will cut down on my risk of infection and colds as I have a lot of acid he said inside my stomach. Go Figure!

Anyhow, i will be taking the antibiotic's up until surgery day ad well as the nausea pill...This is $80 worth of meds, but hey I am not complaining, better safe than sorry!!! 

Anyway......I'm so ready!!!!!!!!

I have NINE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I had my pre-op today for my surgery which is March 24th. Everything was great, but my surgeon called because he is concerned with me being anemic.

Anyone else had that issue??? Will I have to postpone??? Ugghhhh! I know he is only being careful and safe, and i'm sure its important since he did call me himself; but I just want to get this over and done with! I know I am wrong....Anyone with this issue??? What did you have to do??? He suggested calling my PCP and seeing what he has to say. I have been anemic since my daughter was born 11 years ago. I haven't had any other issues with it other than the occasional ice cravings and usually eat beans to build my levels up again... I have never taken medication for it. I never heard anything from my PCP. I am just eating iron fortified foods and taking iron tablets; so I am certain it will be OK. My levels were at 32 ( I am not sure what that means) where the normal level is 40.

Anyway,

I am staying prayed up and am on my regime! PRay for me!

Today was a great day....I have prepped my house for surgery, meaning did a thorough cleaning. I have laid aside the things I am packing for the hospital.  I'm on my way....The diet is another story, but hey, one day at a time!!!!!!!!!

i cannot stick to my diet!!!!!!!!! I have 11 days left! I keep saying I will do right today...but it never happens!!!!!!!Uggghhhh!!