MintyMew

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I know the surgery isn't a miracle worker, and I'm so happy and blessed to have lost what I have so far... but I do get worried, when I yo-yo on the same three pounds for months at a time. 
I tell myself that I need to get serious and go back to only eating the things I ate in the beginning, but I feel that greek yogurt and refried beans are not the answer.  I DO need to learn how to eat normally and around others (we are very active and social and this is always coming up).  I'm so excited to have made it to ONEDERLAND this week... It has really helped.  But I'm still concerned that my body is sort of 'happy' at 200lbs... and that is where it's going to start to fight me.
I know that the only solution is major butt-kicking exercise, which has never been my strong point, but it looks like it will have to become one!
Anyway, other than that, life is good.  The pool is clean and operational.  It's time to buy a new bathing suit and get the backyard party started for Summer 2009!

Keep up the good work losers!

p.s. Any suggestions on getting rid of tons of clothing sizes 20-28?  I tried the resale shops in Katy and those people are mean and a little unscrupulous.  I need another option...

Went to see Dr.Scarborough this past Tuesday and had second set of Labs done.  He seemed pleased with my progress, but emphasized that I should still lose about another 50lbs.  That was O.K. with me since I want to lose about 70lbs.  He told me to start taking Iron (which was weird because I asked him about that during our last visit and he said he didn't think I needed it).
The first set of Lab (3 mos. out) were just fine.
I'll let you know how these go... looks like I don't have to see the doc for another 6 mos!

... and it is a little discouraging.  I know I need to make better choices too.  Nothing too terrible but I want to do better.  I need to feel like I did in the beginning.  At first I felt like I was eating so healthy and felt so positive.  Now, not so much.  I'm eating smaller, but my proteins tend to be a bit fattier now and that makes me unhappy.
I need to make a major trip to the market with a weekly meal plan and just make it happen!

The last think I want to do is have my success sabotaged by my own stress and life's problems that are out of my control.  My job at the bank is not necessarily 'secure' and so I find myself thinking about it constantly.  I know that in this economy we have a lot of the same worries, but no matter who you are, it makes you question your choices and the reasons you find yourself in the financial situation are in.  I think about how we could have done things differently, but can honestly say, I don't have too many regrets.  We think about our choices often, and pray about them when we can.
I hope that we can make it through 2009 without too much drama and with our house! LOL.  I say that jokingly, but in the back of my mind, you know the fear is real.
Anyway, my weighloss has slowed down a great deal, but I'm not discouraged.... as a matter of fact, it helps me better understand what I need to do everyday.
I know that some people are against weighing in daily, but for me, it is what keeps my mind straight and keeps me focused.  I don't get crazy obsessed, I just know that "today, this is what I have to do".

I'm still so very happy about my decision, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.  It hasn't been quite six months, but it feels like it has only been a minute, and it has been a wonderful minute... despite all of the whining you read about it the beginning!  LOL.  Don't let that discourage you.  The first five weeks are crazy, but that is to be expected.  I just looked at it like, beginning a NEW life.  It is just a big adventure.  Try and enjoy what you can

Now, true to my personality, I had to come up with a plan B in case my bank job feel through.  I have been working my butt off to start my own photography business.  I'm so excited and very motivated.  It's costing a great deal initially, but I've promised myself I will get busy and start making it pay for itself.  David came up with the name: Shutterbunny Photography.   It is a lot of work, but it is fun and that is the goal, right?  "Find something you love and never work a day in your life."  I'll keep you posted on how it goes!!!!

shutterbunny.weebly.com

I really enjoyed my time in Big Bend.  It was beautiful. I enjoyed being able to stay at the Basin Lodge, especially because it was so cold each night. We will definately go back one day.
We have been busy since we got back.  We have been going non-stop since, including two dinner parties this weekend. I found that cooking for 22 people wasn't too bad, and all of the leftovers haven't proved to be an issue either.  I wasn't tempted by the desserts, but the ice cream was calling my name.  I took a tiny spoonful and left it at that.  I didn't 'dump' but I didn't feel very good afterwards either.
Nothing new to report, except that I'm down 70lbs. and 4 months post-op.
That is the best thing going right now. 
I feel bad that I haven't been on the message boards for the last couple of weeks (since vacation). I know I'm missing a lot and will have so much catching up to do.
The only other news is that my hair has started to fall out now with some reguarity. It's gotten progressively worse, but I can't imagine it will get worse than this. I'm taking my vitamins and any other precautions that I can.  I just hope it starts to grow back fast.   My hair was a good feature of mine, and it is a little scary to see it all go down the drain each morning.  I know that you aren't supposed to color your hair when you are losing it, but I was very torn, and hated to see my brown roots. I went to the store and found a natural dye! I don't know how much better it is for my scalp/hair loss but it worked very well (and didn't smell at all).
My clothing situation is driving me crazy. I'm not complaining, because I have a lot of clothes to wear... but I'm growing out of them before I can figure out what fits. I even bought some smaller clothes and they are already too big for me. It is a good problem to have, but an expensive and space consuming one to have. I have gone down at least 8 dress sizes and I don't even know what size bra I am anymore!  But you can work around that problem temporarily. LOL.
I have a hard time realizing how much weight has come off, until I put on some favorite old clothes and they are already too big.  But in my head, it really hasn't registered yet. I still see the old person when I look in the mirror. I still have a lot of weight to lose, so I don't really see anything great happening, just the inconvenience of lose fitting slacks.
I'm sure if I had to get on a plane and sit in one of those tiny seats (and that seatbelt) I would feel differently... that would be validating!
I'm sure the brain will catch up with the rest of me, it will just take time.
In the meantime, I have to admit, I'm having a little bit of fun.  I bought three pairs of jeans (on sale of course) that were just too tight, but fun to try on again, and again, and again.  I finally got into them within a week... although they are tighter than I would usually wear them, but they are sexy and cute. And what else matters!

Working a lot, and still worried about the bank merger, but excited about getting some time off with hubby.
David is healing really well from his back surgery, and we decided that it was safe to go away for a week.  We leave tomorrow night after I get home from work, and drive about half way to our destination.  We will spend the night at a hotel and then head on to BIG BEND NATIONAL PARK.  I'm very excited.  Since we've moved to Texas two years ago, I'm always excited to see new places and take road trips.  Everyone who I talk to has been there say how nice it is there.
After we spend several days at Big Bend we are going to head for the Austin area were we'll meet up with some of David's old friends.
Maybe not the most exciting trip ever, but I'm just happy to get away with David.
Went to the OH conference last weekend.  It was pretty good.  I didn't feel as engaged as I would have liked since I wasn't staying at the hotel like everybody else.  I didn't feel like driving all the way to the hotel for the meet-n-greet on Friday night.  And after the conference on Saturday, I really needed to get home... so I missed the casino night, etc.  I heard it was a lot of fun.. but I was glad to be home (and tired too).
So, as far as me and my health... all is good for now.  I'm not losing but I'm learning to keep myself from getting sick.  I hit a plateau almost 3 weeks ago, and am just starting to see the scale move again.  I'm not sure what it was, but I think it was because I sorta cheated and had iced tea (caffeine) and a few dinners out (a lot of salt).  I'm eating strictly at home again and so things are much better.  I will have some challenges with being on the road and wanting snacks and getting my protein... so I will have to be careful.

I'll let you know how it goes!

 

So, it has been several weeks and I haven't posted.  Based on that alone you could assume things are going well for me, and they are.  I haven't had to throw up but maybe once a week, and that is usually due to something really stupid on my part like talking or arguing and eating at the same time.  I find I am so sensitive to discussion and emotions when I eat.  I get stirred up and before I know it I am literally cramming food into my mouth.  I see myself doing this and I begin to wonder, 'how long has this been going on?  My whole life?'  It could easily be a contributing factor to why I look the way I do.  I've lived a life around people who are excitable and loud and that could have had a profound affect on my eating habits.
Anyway, enough about that.  I feel like my pouch is healing and like I am on my way to a normal life.  I'm excited to feel like myself again.
My poor hubby has been suffering with severe sciatic pain since before hurricane IKE and I have had a hard time making him comfortable.  I was just healing myself when I had to play nurse for him.  We took him for a very expensive Epi about three weeks ago and he ended up in more agony.  It was the worst pain for him, and I was losing my mind trying to take care of him.  We then decided he needed to take the plunge and have the surgery needed to repair his ruptured/herniated disks.
Well, I'm happy to say that he had the surgery just last Friday and he is healing/recovering very well.  His mood is greatly improved as is his mobility.  We aren't really sleeping through the night just yet, but we are doing so much better than we were.
That's my good news for the week.  I'm really happy it has worked so far.  I just hope he can remain health and continue to feel improvements.  My biggest worry right now is that he isn't supposed to bend over for two months!  So, sometime after the new year he is allowed to bend at the waist.  If he forgets, he could cause the disks to rupture again!!!  That would be horrible.  I pray he isn't forgetful and can keep up the good work.

Post-op life has been tumultuous for a variety of reasons, but I'm not complaining.  I feel good and I look even better.  I have a picture on my fridge of David and me, at a church meeting and I just cannot believe how bloated and enormous we both look.  It makes me so sad to see it.
I walk by a mirror now, and I can hardly believe it is me.  I had to go through my closet and pick through my clothes.  I'm finding that I have less and less to wear.  But that is a good thing, again!  I dropped off over 30 pieces to a plus-size second had store and I hope to make some money.  I even found a few pieces to bring home (of course!)
I've come to the conclusion that I have gone from a size 28 down to a 22 on my bottoms and from a 28 on top to a 22.  I'm 11 weeks post-op and down 55lbs.  I can't tell you how good it makes me feel... not just my back and my knees and my FEET... but inside.  My soul is lighter.  I feel like I'm going to be reborn as a better adjusted, happier person.  I just know it.
It is going to be a patience game at this point. 

First things first, David is feeling better finally!!!  I'm not sure how long it has been... maybe as long as 6 weeks.  I don't know if the EPI finally kicked in or if my reflexology worked. Whatever it was... I'm so happy to see him stand without being in agony.  
 
Second, I had a bad Thursday lunch at work.  My Lean Cuisine didn't feel "stuck" but evidently it was.  I freaked out because it takes me almost 45 minutes to throw up in most cases.  I just bit the bullett and made myself sick.  It was not what I wanted to do, but I didn't have a choice. I'm just glad I got it over with. It was easier than I expected, and I am definitely not suffering for 45 minutes anymore!!
I'm usually so careful, but sometimes these things happen.

Third, I have gone the last two days without mishap!  AND I have eaten 'regular foods'... not just softy, pureed stuff.  I made an egg with cheese and half a piece of toast.  Went out for friends last night for pizza.... made it through that without incident!!!  Yay!  Went out for lunch with hubby and we shared an entree, but of us feeling satisfied and no barfing!
I came home and made a tasty Tilapia dinner and so far so good.

It is good to be back in the world of real food!!!!!!!

I haven't posted anything about this... but my husband has been suffering with backpain for about a month.  It was starting when I was just post-op, and it started getting worse.  I thought it would just go away.
It turns out it started to get worse, really bad.
He went to a specialist and they said they needed an MRI.  He had one done last year, but they needed a new one.  He a two hurniated disks and have now ruptured.  He is in excruiating pain and driving me batty!
Turns out his new insurance through work doesn't cover MRIs... and a lot of other stuff.
Long story short, we just dished out $2000 in deductibles this month alone, not including several hundred dollars in prescription drugs.

I really thought we were doing better with our budget and debt.
This and the fact that I may lose my job has really set us back.
I'm really stressed about it.  It's a good thing I can't eat much.
((SIGH))

Today I was working from home, when I turned on CNN and saw that my company had been bought over the weekend.  It sounded more like rescued, but either way, it was sad news.  I was glued to the TV and trying a new food item for breakfast.  Organic mac-n-cheese.  Annie's I think.  Well, I guess I was stressing and ate two bites too quickly.  I realized it as soon as I swallowed.  There was nothing I could do but wait. 
Within 5 minutes my nose began to run and that is a bad sign.  Then I started having the chest pains... then the waves of pain that make you feel sick.  I spent the next 20 minutes with a conference call on mute and my head in the kitchen sink.  I wanted to throw up and make it all go away, but it takes me so long!  I was at least 30-40 minutes before it happened, and this time it was bad.  I couldn't stop the wretching, even after there was nothing left.
I hate days like this.  I always feel like such a failure when this happens.

I bought something new yesterday, in the hopes I will get more protein in.  I liked the water-like consistency, but it has the most horrible aftertaste.  I'm not sure I can handle it.  It tastes like a chemical that is bad for you.  I can't imagine that it is supposed to taste like that.
I'll try it once again today, because I know I desperately need the protein alternatives.

I'll keep you posted.