Marisa_21
Frustration >:-|
Oct 19, 2011
Tomorrow will be my 3 week surgiversary and as of this morning, I have lost 16 lbs. I should be happy with that number, right? Well I'm not...at all. I feel like I could be down at least 5 lbs more than that and I know that I have been slacking in terms of tracking my eating (well not really eating because I'm in the puree phase) and I haven't been so good about getting my protein and drinking enough water so it is my own fault and I blame no one but myself. I am frustrated because while I know and understand that it has only been three weeks and this is still new to me, I am trying to adjust to life after surgery and cope with the fact that I will never be able to eat "normally" again. This is a very good thing and it is why I had surgery but I find myself becoming angry and frustrated every day because I still can't eat anything. I have one more week before I can move onto soft foods and I am struggling with the fact that I haven't been able to chew anything for the past 5 weeks and it is affecting me in every way. I am stressed out, I am super hard on myself if I don't lose a pound a day (which is not happening every day) I get so angry and frustrated that I feel like I did this for nothing. I know that is not a good way to feel because in reality, I have lost nearly 50lbs since I started my journey and I am grateful and proud of that but I guess I was thinking that the weight would come off faster after surgery. I am feeling resentment toward the foods that I CAN consume and it is making me not eat at all, which is probably a bad thing also.
I haven't attended a support group yet but I intend to do so because maybe it will help me have a different outlook on my situation and realize that I am not alone (I hope I'm not alone in this) and possibly get some tips from other people who have overcome the struggles that I am facing right now. I am also finding it difficult to get through this phase because I have to stay away from solid foods but I still cook for my boyfriend (I am not going to make him starve) and it makes me angry to see him eating food when I can't eat with him. He has been amazing and supportive throughout this whole process and I love him for it but it's hard to talk to him about my frustrations because while he doesn't write me off as a complainer and a nutcase, he doesn't understand what I am going through and he can't really offer me substantial advice. I need to get better about taking my vitamins, drinking lots of water, getting enough protein and exercise more. Maybe that's the key because I haven't been exercising as much this past week and maybe that's why I only lost 5lbs. I did get under 300lbs, which is exciting but I have such a long way to go that I don't feel as accomplished as I thought I would. Has anyone else experienced any of this? If so, please help!
1 comment
I haven't attended a support group yet but I intend to do so because maybe it will help me have a different outlook on my situation and realize that I am not alone (I hope I'm not alone in this) and possibly get some tips from other people who have overcome the struggles that I am facing right now. I am also finding it difficult to get through this phase because I have to stay away from solid foods but I still cook for my boyfriend (I am not going to make him starve) and it makes me angry to see him eating food when I can't eat with him. He has been amazing and supportive throughout this whole process and I love him for it but it's hard to talk to him about my frustrations because while he doesn't write me off as a complainer and a nutcase, he doesn't understand what I am going through and he can't really offer me substantial advice. I need to get better about taking my vitamins, drinking lots of water, getting enough protein and exercise more. Maybe that's the key because I haven't been exercising as much this past week and maybe that's why I only lost 5lbs. I did get under 300lbs, which is exciting but I have such a long way to go that I don't feel as accomplished as I thought I would. Has anyone else experienced any of this? If so, please help!
Back to work
Oct 04, 2011
So today is the day I return to work. I am not too excited about it because I still feel a little sore and I don't think I am up to it yet but I took the maximum amount of days that I could take off so I don't really have a choice. I am feeling a lot better than I was over the weekend so that is good but I wish I could have taken the rest of this week off and returned to work on Monday when I think I probably would have been more refreshed. So far I have lost 7 pounds since my surgery (5 days ago) so I am happy about that. I still can't tolerate too much though, I have to pretty much stick with clear liquids and my protein shakes but I am hopoing by next week I can tolerate some more full liquids because I definitely feel malnourished. Okay I don't have much else to say today so until next time...
2 comments
One more day!
Sep 28, 2011
So tomorrow is the big day! I am so excited and maybe a little bit nervous but overall I am just looking forward to starting my new life. *yay*
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Difficult Day =[
Sep 19, 2011
Today all I can think about is food. I am still on my pre-op meal replacements and I have not deviated from it even though it's hard, but I really really want food. Not even bad food, just food. I have been craving a caesar salad with grilled chicken and shrimp all day. I have no idea why and I don't think I have ever had a craving for salad in my entire life but I am so sick of these shakes! They don't even taste bad I'm just tired of them and I want to chew real food =[ I know it will be at least 6 weeks now before I will be able to and it kind of makes me sad but I guess I just need to keep my eyes on the prize and remind myself that this is a long term for a better life and a better me. Just my random thought for the day!
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About Me
CA
Location
40.4
BMI
Surgery
09/29/2011
Surgery Date
Sep 04, 2011
Member Since
