lorastevens
Here is my story... I am 32 and weight 258lb. I have never been this heavy in my whole life and I am finally taking control for it. As soon as I get my insurance approved, I will have the lab band done. I meet all of their requirements. In addition, for that, I am so excited.
I have these gross fat rolls that now hang over my pants and I am so tired of being tired. It is just not how I want to live anymore. The surgery will be my tool to make it a success. I am not scared about it; part of me knows it will be the beginning of a new life with the right tools.
I know that my weight is an issue for myself in relationships and right now, I just cannot stop thinking that my weight and low esteem issue have hurt many of my relationships. I know where to turn for the weight loss support (I am seeing a nutritionist on Tuesday, one of the last steps to get approval and my dr. is so much behind me)
I do know that weight loss will change my physically life and my mental life is good with all but the male female relationship. I am such a great catch.
After of almost 1 year of working with my doctor and my insurance company, I received approval from Humana Insurance. The only bad thing is that my original Dr. (Dr. Boe) is not considered in network and it would cost me so much to have it with him. Therefore, I switched Dr. to Dr. Bryan from Harvard and I am so glad that I did. I have met with her twice already and she has the warmest touch and gave me more info than I had ever expected. Because I had already received my insurance approval, they were able to give me a surgery date (Aug 29) and I am so excited. They have a much more complete program than they do in Belivdere.
I cannot wait. This summer is going to be my very last as a fat girl. I cannot wait. I am so blessed.
Sept. 7th I am banded and all is well. I love all the changes, but they have been a lot harder than I thought. Not the pain, but the emotional side of why I was fat in the first place. I do miss part of my social life that was based on eating and drinking, but this is best for me and I will get used to the changes in time.
Oct. 9th
Hi, crew. Love you all and I keep coming back every day. You have really helped me since my Sep 7th Banding. My problem today is that I am not listening to my body and reverted to eating too much at night (boredom). Although it might not be a lot (1/2 cup soup, 1/2 cottage cheese and 1/2 cup cheese soup) for me it was a ton of food. However, I was not even that hungry but I did not listen to my body.
I think it might be from my emotional weekend at a party at my dad's house. It was the first time I had been around all the family and all this food. There was not one single good choice for me to eat and it was almost emotional for me. It was so stressful and felt that my dad was trying to shove food down my throat when I was trying to leave. I left sad and lonely. I just was banded (just got my bill in the mail too) and not even filled yet, but feel like that failed myself with the band.
Someone kick me and push me. Tomorrow (right now for that matter) I feel that I am in control of this, but at that moment of weakness I feel like I have already screwed up.
I get my first fill and return to the doctor on Oct. 27th. Tell me I will be okay. I do not want to let myself down and surely not my doctor.
Dec. 1.I go see the dr. next Thursday, hopefully for my first fill. I need some restriction. Seems that I can eat a lot. My warning to everyone is to do what the dr. says and follow this directions. Like bread, stay far away from bread (for me, it is anything with yeast in it) as that just kills my body. More soon.
May 21. I am back... had not posted a lot, but I am down about 40lbs since surgery. I should not, but I do feel horrible about this. Not too many people know that I have not even noticed that I have lost weight. I am frustrated. I have had 3 small fills but do not notice anything. Sorry, but I do not. I only wish. I am eating bad, frustrated. The only thing good I have going is that I am working about at least 3-4 times a week. I wish, I would be a success with this surgery, but so far, I am just coasting a long.
I go on vacation in a few weeks, after that, when I come back, I go back to the dr. Pray for me. I want, need, hope to loss weight. The good news is that this is 40 that I no longer carry. The bad news is that I am not honestly working the program.
July 17
Just want to share my story, need to clear my head. Father's day, in June, I bent down to pick up a towel and felt something horrible in my area. Felt like a tear. I had to immediately lie on the bed and had tears. My wonderful boyfriend came in after a while and knew that something was not right with me and I asked for some time to just catch my breath. Then I could not do anything buy lay down on the bed, could not stand, it hurt so badly. After about 2 hours, I felt better. I did not call the dr. because I already had an appointment for that Thursday and my luck the doctor would not be able to get me in sooner so I did nothing. In the a.m. the pain was still there, but not as horrible. As the week progressed, it got better. Then Thursday I went to the doctor and talked to them about the band and the pain that I felt in my port area and the nurse just really blew it off, which annoyed me at first, but I told her how horrible it was and what was it. The doctor came in, they tried to do a fill (oh by the way, I have not lost any weight in over 8 weeks at this point, but that's another post at a later time) and I wanted/needed a fill. Well of course, with all the poking and prying they could not get the fill to go it, which this poking was so painful. They dr. wanted to do it under the ultra sound in a few days. So went in and had about the whole office watching this and of course they found the port but could not get in it, so they scheduled me to have surgery to fix it. They honestly made it as if it was not a big deal, out patient, no big deal but honestly, it was just like having surgery all over again. Yes, it was out patient, it was just a week ago and I am still not backing up and running.
I guess this happens from time to time, because the fat loss around the waist and it come unattached, (I guess) and they reattached it to the muscle better and I asked the doctor to attach it so tight that this does not happen again. (By the way, since it flipped it does hurt; you will know that this happened, because more than discomfort, Anyways, they did give me good pain pills but honestly I only planned to take one day off of work, but woke up after the first day and realized that I wasn't going anywhere and my stomach (abs) hurt so much it was like I had a tummy tuck or something. Anyways, I am on liquid diet for two weeks, which is hard, because yes my stomach where the food goes does not hurt, just my stomach and abs hurt where they reattached the port hurts. Anyways, I felt like hell for about 4 days then started to feel better.
Then in Feb. 2008, the bad news is that I went for a fill about 3 weeks ago and there was NOTHING in my band. Meaning there is a leak in it. They will be replacing it, but I have to start the struggles all over again with the insurance company. I am hoping it will be fixed by the end of April. UGH! That means I start all over again, which is not good or bad. I knew all along that my band was not working; I swear no one believed me. I asked the dr. to take all the fill out before putting more in, she said she always does that (I am not so sure) but in Nov she put 3.5 in my 4.0 band. This time, there was nothing in my band. She put in 2.0 but I cannot feel anything. It is almost sad. Just about 2 years into this and I still have 60 or so lbs to loss and have not lost more than 10lbs in about 8 months, so I knew it was not working. Now they say the new band is better, holds more. I guess starting over will help me get back into the swing of things. Right now, I am 220 and my goal is still 150-160.
I finally got insurance approval, thank gosh. I go in on the 23rd. I am ready for this. Right now, I am eating just horrible, mainly because I feel like "this is my last meal" when it is not but still I am eating all kinds of crappy food. Why? Nothing makes me full, which is not a shock because I have no restriction. I am trying to work out, but that is hard too, why, because I have fat girl syndrome still you know? As I sit here right now watching biggest loser, I just still do not get why I cannot get my crap together.
May 14th.
My band was empty and after some tests showed that it wasn't holding the fills, meaning it was a defective band. I had it replaced 3 weeks ago tomorrow. This time, I am healing so much better, I feel so much better. It was my wake up call. I had not gained any weight since my first surgery, I just couldn't lose anymore weight, even with working out. I had only lost 40lbs in almost 2 years. I was emotional, stressed and very sad. Since this surgery, I have dropped 12lbs. And I feel good.
I am not ready to put any pictures yet, but hopefully mid summer I will. (To me you can't really tell that I have lost weight so I don't want to post any pictures yet.)
