LLMobley

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You realize just how much of a hypocrit you are when you can give someone advise to make them feel better but when you get bad news you can not take your own advise, I am that person. I know this because I have had some really low times since May when I was referred to my bariatric surgeon. Since that time I have been denied three times and I figured that I was going to be fat and in pain for the rest of my life. I was telling people not to give up and to keep fighting until thier insurance company saw that it is cheaper to have the surgery than to pay for all the expensive treatments that only mask the symptoms. This is what I call covering it with a band-aid. I am sorry for not being able live up to what I have been saying. I ask for your forgiveness. I now have a surgery date of January 18th and I am excited about that. This is just in time so that by the time my daughter gets home from college in June I will be released to excercise with her. I am looking forward to being able to walk and possibly begin to jog with her.
I am going to end this blog for now and I will write later. Thank you again for all your support.

Cindy.

I have been calling and e-mailing them every few days and still nothing. I am scheduled for surgery in 15 days so I will be starting the pre-op diet as scheduled and hope that they will approve it. I am not going to back down and I will be a thorn bush in thier butts until I get the approval. I just hope that it is before my scheduled date.

Well the pity party is over and the fighting has begun. I have started the appeal process and with they way it is going they will approve me just to shut me up. I have been flooding them with all the reasons why I should be able to have this surgery as well as with the information to show them I know what to expect and that I am not just doing this to lose weight. I would love to feel better and to have a "normal" life. My husband would love to see me in less that full baggy pj's but until I have surgery that will not happen. A little personal he would really like to make love to me but I am just to uncomfortable with out clothes that he is lucky to be satisfied once a month. I wish I had a sex drive that died about 50 pounds ago. So I can hope that this will go through. I am praying every minute of every day that it is approved. Only time will tell.

I am going to have my surgery YIPEEE!!!. Finally after 25 years of dieting and working my behind off I am going to get the one tool that will definatly help me to get this blubber of my body so the real me can show through. My husband always tells me that there is no need to be hard on me I am harder on me than anybody ever could be. You know he is right I am the toughest critic I can have.
Since I was approved for and scheduled for surgery I feel so that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there actually is help for me. I am so tired of being sick, and sore and out of shape. I am tired of bending over to stretch and have this mass (my stomach) get in the way so that I am unable to reach my toes. I feel like I can do so much and will do so much once this is gone once and for all.
My psychiatrist told me that this is going to be good for me because she sees me the way I do. I have showed her how I see me and she understands how I feel. She has given me her ok to have this done and that meant a lot to me. Now comes the long wait.
My surgery date is July 13th that seems like an eternity for me. I have started some of the routine that I am going to have to get into once the surgery is complete to make it easier for me to be in the habit of doing it. So far the only thing I find unusual it that I have had a real bad stomach ache all day. I thought it might be the calcium but the headache that I have is telling me that I am having a migraine coming on. Oh boy what fun. Well time to go deal with the migraine.