lejoyrothe

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What I mean by that is I've had pain, but not enough to take any medication since two half doses since I've been home.  I feel more delicate because my stamina is tiny and I have to sit and lay down more often.  It also doesn't help that I have a drippy tube sticking out of my abdomen...yeck.

Also, it feels odd to be so full after a tiny sip of something.  Since I've been home I've managed to "eat" 1/4 cup of (strained) cream of chicken soup (made with milk of course), 1 cup of whey powder/meal replacement (made with milk...), and about 20 oz of water (with liquid B-12 in it).  That's only 32 oz!  I guess that's not bad for my first day home, so I'm going to work on it. 

I also got in my full vitamin B-12 Lozenge for the week and my Calcium!  Oh, and my blood sugar numbers are normal!  We're not cockly enough to think that's that, because I'm barely eating anything right now!  It could be that when I get to the puree stage or the soft food stage my body will remember that I have diabetes.  RIght now, though, they're between 88 and 115 all day long!

I got home from the hospital about an hour ago and I have to say... I feel pretty good.  I have been surprised at the little amount of pain I've been having since the surgery.  Not saying I've had none, just that it's been extrelely barable.  On the pain scale, I haven't been worse than about a 6 and today I'm at around a 3!  Heck, I'm used to having more pain than that from just being fat!  Tee hee.

My blood sugars are pretty low and I haven't had insulin since Monday afternoon.  I'm waiting on a call back from my GP to find out what I should do about my insulin.  The hospital thinks a sliding scale would be good and I agree.  That way I can dose up on a case by case instead of crashing all the time as I have in the past.

I am, really tired at this point.  It's been a long day and I could just drop off right now for a little nappy.  My hair lady is coming to fix a little section of my hair any minute and then I think I'll do just that.  So sleepy, but overall, feeling GREAT!

I'll start drinking low fat, full liquids today and that will go through the 19th when I start pureed foods until the 2nd of November.

Anyway, just checking in with my OH family.

Thanks to NewDayDawning and Strongone for visiting me in the hospital.  I am so excited about my lovely roses and my care package!  Both your support means so much to me.  I wouldn't have had anyone had it not been for the 2 of you!  Hugs and Kisses! :o)

Love & Belief,
LJ

Okay, so it's not actually called poop juice, but that's what I call it.  Anyway, I was late drinking the magnesium citrate and thusly guzzled all 10 oz of it.  Man, does that stuff make me want to heave.  Yeck!  I am still waiting for...well, you know what, so, I've started drinking the 2nd bottle.  Talk about disgusting.  Why can't something that makes you poop taste good?

I also wanted to mention that I'm much calmer about the surgery than I thought I would be.  I feel so calm, it's hard to believe it's in the morning!  I'm sure I'll be feeling a little less calm at 4 am in the morning when I wake up, but for now I still feel pretty good.  No pain, as they say.  Tee hee.

I'll see you all on the other side...

Tonight I went to the gym and when I go by myself I tend to take the private bathroom/shower by the pool after my water stuff.  This room offers me the opportunity to keep my fatness to myself and not worry about any prying eyes and comparisons and crap like that.  Well, I've gotten in 10 days at the gym this month, but I haven't been since Friday and I didn't know I would definitely be having the surgery then.

Tonight, as I was getting undressed, then putting on lotion and getting dressed, I found myself saying goodbye to my fat.  Not that I will miss it exactly, but it's been with me for 12 years now and I've gotten quite used to me the way I am.  I've never had low self esteem because of my size and I've never hated who I am or anything.  I always figured that for a girl who has had a total of 50 weeks of COMPLETE bed rest during 3 pregnancies, buried a child, a mother and a sister, a hysterectomy, 2 C-sections and her tonsils out at 37, I came by my fat honestly and really had the right to be twice the size I am.  In other words, at 237, I don't think I did that bad and I'm not as big as my house.  That's a whole lot of crap to go through in 11 years.

So tonight, I took advantage of the really big mirror at the gym and said goodbye to my back fat, my nice full belly, my nice boobs and my nice, chubby, wrinkle free face. 

Good bye...

Okay, now that I've said I proper farewell, I think the next step is to be realistic about what I'm going to possibly look like later...saggy skin and boobs and all.  The nice thing about THINGS is that I'll be healthier and what the heck, what are supportive undergarments for, anyway?

I, um, uh, well, geez...I'm approved! 

They called me today AND I'm scheduled for surgery on October 5th at 7:30 AM!

Three things:

1.)  I've lost 12 lbs since July 7th!

2.)  I've lost 2 inches off my hips and 5 inches off my waist!

3.)  I'm only 3 lbs from Obese stage 2 instead of Morbid Obesity!

Okay, so the part that sucks is that my Medica profile still has a pending status for my surgery.   Right, so I called them at 7:15 this morning... and even though it's the 10th day, they say "at the end of the 10th business day," not at the ass crack of dawn!   (Tee hee and Sorry for cussin'!) 

So they told me to call back on Monday.  I'm cool with that.  I've got enough (still) going on to keep myself busy.

Love & Belief,
LJ

Something Funny:

I got on my home scale the other day and it read 238.5.  I know my hair extensions weigh 1.5 lbs because I weighed the bad before I had them put in!  I also know that the scale at the doctors office is about 2.1 lbs less than my scale at home!  I told Steven (my darling husband, who happens to be Caucasian and doesn't know a whole lot about the weight of extension hair...) that if I didn't have my "Her did" and I was on the scale at the WLS office, I would weigh 234.9!  He stared at me and said mildly, "Yep."

So, I had two options at this point.  I could have gotten mad or I could have used this as a mini training session.  Now, since I was in a good mood because of  the whole scale thing, I didn't have the heart to fuss, so I took the opportunity to gently guide my 4 years younger husband on how he should have responded to this good news by saying,

"Whaaaaaat???!  No Way!  Shut up!  That's Cool!"  

We both started laughing and he corrected himself by immediately saying, "That is cool, honey."  Mission accomplished.

Something That Sucks:

I called my insurance company the other day to find out if they had gotten my paperwork.  They claimed they had not.  Then I said my main focus in making the call was to find out when to start counting my 7 days.  She asked me, in so many words, "WTF?"  I said that I was told it would take about 7 days for a decision.   I said, that I was then told it might take 2 weeks or 10 business days.  She was like, "I'm not sure who you spoke to on your previous calls, because it could take up to a month for a decision to come back unless they put a rush on it." 

So, crap.  I really have a lot going on and it isn't in my nature to freak out for real about the decision or the time it takes.  I like to know these things for reference, planning and excitement, but I'm not thinking about it every second.  Just every other.  :o)  What ever is meant to be will be. 

The Brighter Side:

This fall, my goal was to evaluate the products in my product line and decide what I was going to add to the line and what I was going to drop from the line.  I've done that.  I also needed to evaluate what products I can make from the ingredients and containers (bottles and such) I have on hand and what I needed to buy.  I've done all that, so today I started ordering a few things.   Starting Wednesday, Kaelyn will be in preschool for 12 hours a week, so I can take a week or so to clean the house after the crazy summer and get my kitchen prepared to start cranking out products again.  (It's been almost a year since I made a LOT of products at one time.)  Then, I can gear up and do that.  Plus I've got to get my book done, so it can be published before the end of the year.

I've got plenty to do this fall regardless, so I'm going to do it!  Crazy insurance people.  I simply don't have time to freak out, so I won't.  "Take all the time you need, crazy insurance people.  I can wait...I'm on a mission."

I'm a super dedicated, extra motivated person...when I care to be.  I have a tendency to be a bit ...um single-minded about things and even my dietitian has mentioned concern for my 3 page, detailed, colored Excel documents I brought in to show her my food log and exercise. 

Apparently, it's not normal to bring graphs and charts to your appointments.  I just like the computer and I hate to write things out, plus I'm a graphic designer and a writer.  It's in my nature to be a bit detail oriented and research driven.  I prefer to be prepared and organized.  My house is a big, fat mess and I can never find my socks when I need a pair, but the things I CAN organize and clean and keep them that way (like the things my kids don't have anything to do with...) I keep clean and organized.  Is that so wrong? 

I don't see myself as someone who would go off the deep end and lose too much or not want a healthy outcome.  She mentioned it to me and she mentioned it to my doctor.  I believe that BALANCE is the key. 

In certain areas of my life I'm an A type personality.  Everything else...ahhh, no big deal.

I've been really busy today since my appointment and I really should be in bed by now, but I'm going to post this and then go to bed!

My appointment went famously well!  I stayed the same weight for an entire new month, which they were very pleased about!  They said that I probably did lose the extra pound I need for the surgery, but it was the middle of the day and I had already eaten twice.  I'm glad they were cool with that.

I brought along my most recent blood work results (from my other appointment last week) and they were very pleased to see such good numbers!  Well, except my HDL, which could have been higher.  I'm like, "HELLO???  I'm here for a reason." 

So, anyway, Dr. Benn was really nice and he really knows his stuff!  I'm excited to report that he stayed late after I left so he could type up my report himself!  This is what he normally does and I think it's great!  He said that he will get if faxed over to the insurance company today!  That means, I could know (he said) as early as Tuesday the 15th or as late as the 23rd!  He said Medica is usually pretty good and get the results back within 7 days.

I have the post op class scheduled for the 24th, so we'll see.  It would be wonderful to actually have a date! 

Love & Belief,
LJ

So, I just wanted to say that I'm all excited that it's finally the day (tomorrow) that I'm meeting with the dietitian and the surgeon!  I can't believe it's finally here!  Yippedy doo!  As of this morning I'm down 10 lbs, which was how much they said I need to lose for the surgery!  With water weight, I can't promise that's what I'll be by the time I get to my appointment tomorrow afternoon at 3:15, but either way, it's cool.  I'm not worried about it at all because I think I've done really well; I've managed to lose and then maintain the loss for 8 weeks, I've exercised a total of 68 hours in 8 weeks and I've eaten a LOT better in that same amount of time.  I feel better about myself and I look better.  Now if I could just clean my entire house and maintain that as well...  LOL!

I love my new OH family!