laniegrl

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Well I have lost about 25 pounds since surgery.  I am not as sore as I once was and I can sleep on my side.  The only issue I am having is emotional because I want to chug water.  I miss that so much!  My mouth stays so dry and to be honest drinking these protein shakes make it worse.  I can't stand the protein taste anymore.  I have not thrown up but it seems now I just cant stand the smell or the taste of it.  I try to drink them but my mouth being dry makes it so hard. 

I am still weak and been told to give it time and I will be better.  I just feel worn out right now.  I also feel bad because I feel like I am not getting enough protein because I have found that it doesnt taste good.  My stomach also seems to have air in it all the time and when I eat something, well its like I can feel it.  It doesnt hurt but I just do not have a desire to eat. 

I make myself eat and sometimes it is good but since I have been unable to drink most of my shakes I am eating protein foods.  Beans and cheese and ohh I bought the Carnation instant breakfast without added sugar.  I drank most of that this morning but still, the milk thing with my mouth being so dry.  After a while it's like....ohhh gosh more??  Later..

9 days out from surgery and I am not as sore and hurting so much now, I mean its much better anyway.  The most of my problem has been weakness.  Very very weak.  I knew this was not going to be easy but damn at the emotions I am having.  I cry because I get so weak just taking a shower and just dont feel like myself.  I know given more time I will do better and better.  It's just right now, it is hard.  The one thing I miss is chugging water.  I love to gulp cold water on a hot day and it upsets me so that I cant do this.  I am able to tolerate most everything I am eating and I am happy about this.  The other problem for me is I am affraid to eat too much and I stop maybe too soon.  I am scared of getting sick and really I guess this is a good thing. 
It is hard getting in all the protein they want you to get.  I am tired of the protein shakes....they add to me being thirsty.  I hate mu mout h being so dry and cant drink all the water I would love to drink to be satisfied.  I have a trick though...ice.  It helps to have a cup of ice to munch on. 
I have lost about 20 pounds already, 303 day of surgery and now I am 283.  This is cool but geesh I am washed out right now.  I hope things will improve and I am sure they will.  Later....

As of today I have lost 8 pounds since surgery.  I was excited about that and am looking forward to more coming off.  Will post more later...

I can't seem to upload a photo here for my avatar.  Says every picture I have is too large but yet I can upload the photo's  onto my profile.  Not sure how to fix this. Anyone know??

Well, I am now just 3 days after my surgery.  I am feeling ok other than some pain in my back and I think this is from me laying on the operating table and also the way I have been using other muscles to help me get up and down.  The gas pains after surgery were and is awful, the most painful part.  I remember waking up in recovery and hurting so bad.
The next morning it was improving some and I tolerated the ice chips and the liquid breakfast they brought to me so I got to go home that day. 

Today I am still sore and can move about and walk about pretty good.  I do get tired easily though.  Today I also was getting really depressed and Rene had a great idea and so we walked  outside to the mail box and around the corner of the house.  She pulled the hose pipe out and let me rinse off my car.  It was covered with pollen and so I enjoyed doing that little bit of activity.  Then I had an idea to just go riding around for a few minutes and so we did.  It helped me so much to just get out of the house and feel some sun shine. 

I am trying to get in the protein but not getting in all they suggest but I think that's normal right now.  I am chewing my multi vitamins and calcium and B12.  I do sometime think, boy I could have a BBQ sandwhich right now if I didnt have this surgery but I know the reasons why I did this and its to lose weight and keep it off and that part is up to me.  I have to remember that right now I can not have these things but someday I can have a bite but of course better choices of product.
I know I will be able to "eat" again but I am prepared for what that will be. Protein, Protein!!! 
I am excited still but also in the surgery mode too.....everything hurts...lol. I know it will get better as time goes by and I am looking forward to that time.  I am going to get out again tomorrow for a bit and go to Bed Bath and Beyound and buy a scale for home.  I want to weigh myself every week so I can document in my journal.  I will post more later as I weigh and improve from surgery.

Lane

Today is the day I get to enjoy a tasty treat of magnesium citrate!!   WOohoo......yummy!   I have to be at the hospital in the morning by 5am and my surgery is at 7am.  I am nervous.  I keep thinking I will be the one out of a few hundred that will have major complications.  I am praying not but of course this is my nerves talking.  I have lost a little weight on my pre-op diet and feeling really well.  It is amazing what just 10 pounds will do.  I really had gotten back up to 312 and came down a little to 309.  Now I am 303.  I cant wait to see what I look like and feel.  I know my energy will be greater and I want to be healthy and off of my blood pressure meds.  I know eventually age plays a part in health problems but at my age, 35 I should be healthier. 

I will post after surgery. 

Lane

Right now I am listening to some music and the song playing is "Cool Change" by the Little River Band.....


Kinda fits the moment here.

Just a little over a week away.  I sometimes think if I am doing the right thing.  After all, I still have to make changes and stick to them.  I do question myself at times but then think about the past.  I have lost and gained. 
I got excited thinking about the future.  I want to enjoy the lake, fishing and boating.  Things I love to do. 

I am on my two week diet prior to surgery and feeling pretty good today.  I have lost a few pounds and getting over the headache from caffine.  My headaches are not as bad because I had already started moving away from using caffine anway.  I just seem to have some sinus and ear drainage and my ear aches.  I go tomorrow for my pre-op testing.  It's coming soon.....wish me luck.  I have several fears but one is complications from surgery.  I hope things go well. 
Later....

Well, I now know that I am approved for surgery and will have it on April 8th, 2010.  I am excited about it.  I was getting a little nervous and tired of waiting but then when I heard the good news I am all better. 
I give thanks to the support group that I attend each month.  Those folks are great and I know I will keep going each month.
It is re-freshing to talk to people that have the same issues as me.

Struggling with weight is such a hard thing to talk about.  I have told a few people here at work about it and all are supportive but there was one that asked me had I tried before.  I told her yes, I have.  I have lost weight and get to a point that it won't go anymore and then to gain it back.  Sounds like a broken record here, huh?   I have read some profiles and that seems to be the case for everyone.  This is my tool to lose it and then up to me to keep it off.  I know I will, I know that I can.  I will upsate later. 

I should hear something this week, so says my surgeons nurse.  So, waiting...