ladyofthelake
I think to tell my story here would take up way to much of the page and you might however become bored.
Here's a small summary of my life and how I came to this time and this place....the rest you can find here:
www.tamicroft.net
They use to tell me when I was young they thought I was going to be so tall and thin...boy were they wrong.
I stand 5'4' same height as my father actually and I don't think I've ever really been "thin"
I was the chubby girl who was just <-->that much bigger then everyone else, I went from chubby to fat then from fat to really fat right on over to obese. :(
I don't think I ever really noticed what I was doing to my body, From a very early age I was set on self destruct mode and when your in that mode you don't really care to much about your well being or living for that matter.
I am a survivor of childhood molestation, and I can say Survivor now but it took me a long time to come to that place.
It's what started my downward spiral.
I went from one bad relationship to another, only causing myself further agony because I didn't understand why these men just couldn't love me.
You start to think your worthless and tainted and that no one can love someone who is damaged.
That's when I really began to pack on the weight, I started going out looking for validation but in all the wrong ways.
I quickly headed down the path of a drunk and druggie but none of it filled the void inside.
I filled the void with starvation, I would go days with out eating then binge eat.
By the time I would be binge eating my body was so starved I would puke the food back up, almost like my body was scared of it and didn't know what to do so it had to get it out.
When I quit drinking and doing drugs I supplemented those addictions for another ... JUNK FOOD!
I was still only eating once a day if I was lucky, But when I did whoa, I ate me some big old junk food that is so full of crap it could kill ya where you stand.
But I didn't care, In my mind I was already damaged and tainted goods and no one would ever love me so why care?
3 years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I again thought "Great more bad news, My life really is over"
And there I sat until a few months ago......
The New Tami is taking over, and she ain't going down with out a fight!
I quit drinking, I quit doing drugs, I quit smoking, I started back at a gym to help with my pain and now I am taking the next step to re discover myself, Hopefully finding out who I "really" am in the process.
Sorry I am long winded, If you read my site you'll notice that .. lol
Wish me luck!
