Jules2411

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 Life is strange.people are strange. obesity is strange. i don't understand my body. i don't understand why i would be given a struggle like being over weight. 

i do understand that i have been blessed.

blessed to struggle with something that i have been given a solution to.

my surgery has been LIFE CHANGING in so many ways. but some times i still look to food when i am upset or bored. its very strange because i have been working so hard and love my new body. but some times my mind is still the old "fat" julia. ya know?

and its hard because i don't ant to talk about it with people because they don't understand. and actually they might understand. but being obese my whole life and then losing 90 pounds when i struggle with that it feels so shameful. 

i am excited to keep walking this pathway to a new and exciting body and am praying that i can be healthy, mentally and physically!


J

Wow today begins day three of my pre-surgery fast. and let me tell you today has been significantly better. i have more energy today than the pat two and i am really enjoying my frozen protein shakes! i have a dear friend,who is very thin and doesn't need to, but she wants to do the liquid diet with me. and its kinda nice to have someone to talk to and complain to :) I have been trying to eat jello but what is my favorite is sugar free popsicles. seriously i could eat like 10 at a time, but i don't just one or two. I hope that the rest of today and this week i feel as good as i do now!

Things have been strange lately. gastric bypass does weird things to your heart. like i am really freaking excited for my surgery in one week from today, but also i am scared.not of the sugary itself but i am so scared of how people are going to react to me after i lose my weight. its not like i am having this surgery done to "find" myself because believe me i am already established in who i am. but i am hesitant to share my surgery with just anyone. that might be weird and i almost feel guilty about that. but people just don't understand it and thats when the judging comes in. i am not sure what this coming season of life will bring but i am stoked about it. i started my liquid diet today. ugh it stinks, but i just have to keep reminding myself that i am almost there, i have been working so hard and now i am in the home stretch! This week is seriously  going to be a challenge,but an awesome opportunity to rely on jesus for the strength that only he can give me!