A. Watson
I will not fail...
May 18, 2012
I know that sometimes it is so easy to be down on myself. Especially if I do not feel the results that I want, but I learned an important lesson that I am happy to embrace: Just because I do not feel that I am being successful in my journey to be healthy does not mean that I am not successful. As a matter of fact, I know now that when I feel that I am failing, I am doing the opposite. I know it sounds kind of confusing, and downright odd, but coming from my perspective...I am my worst critic. I look at all of my flaws, and try and figure out a strategy to fix them. Why? I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am doing so much to change to better myself that I feel that the "physical me" needs to follow suit with the "mental me".
I was raised to always strive to do better, even if you did your best, you can always do better. But then again that was for jobs, yard work, house work, cooking etc. Somewhere along the line I got those paths mixed up and thought that I had to do better in EVERYTHING, including being whom I am both on the outside and on the inside. It took me 28 years to see the errors of my ways, and it will take a lifetime to overcome them, but this time I am ready for it. Bring it on, is what I say.
I feel that I have gone through more in my life already, and it has only made me strive to overcome the obstacles. I have been married for 7 years, in that time I had a partial hysterectomy after having complications with endometriosis that caused me to bleed for a year and a half, to my husband having an emotional affair with another woman in another state. We are still married and we work together every day to make that day worth more than the day before. I won’t even bother going through with my childhood, just because there isn't enough time in my day to tell you about it, but let's make it simple: I overcame abuse, neglect and anger, to become who I am today.
I like to think of myself as a survivor, a fighter, a wife, a sister, and a daughter, but most importantly a WOMAN. I do not walk on a smooth tarred road (my life would be boring if I did), instead I prefer the country side, making my own road and who knows where I will end up, but I doubt I will be alone, because like you, I will not fail...
