Hope2b_aButterfly
I am up waiting to go to the hospital for my surgery - too excited to sleep and the house is quiet so I thought I would use this time to work on my profile and get some of my story typed in.
Well let see, I have been fighting my weight since I was about ten years old. My parents divorced when I was eight and food became my best friend - always there for me in the good and bad times!!
I truly believe being a food addict is the worst addiction to have!! We can't get away from it - we must eat to nourish our bodies so we can live! Unlike having an addiction to a drug that you can cut out of your life - however painful!!
I quit smoking six years ago March 5th and that was hard to do after smoking for eleven years!! That's when the weight really started coming back on! I had managed to lose about sixty pounds when my first child was a little over one years old - and of course it had already started sneaking back on but when I quit smoking it stopped sneaking and went full force!!
Once I got married and had to cook for more than just me and my dd it really started to pack on (me & my dh). My husband loves me anyway and I love him even more for it. Then I got pregnant had my ds (three now) and that really did it for me - I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family - what I had always prayed for - a wonderful man who could love me and my daughter. He came with a son so I had my perfect family and our son together was the icing on the cake!
But the heavier I grew the unhappier I grew. Now everything hurts and I'm always tired. In May of this year my aunt said she was concerned about me and asked if I had been to the doctor about my depression - I was shocked I told her no that I had never considered that I might be "depressed" - but she said well have you seen the commercials for depression and how it hurts everywhere and everyone - and once she said that it was like a light bulb clicked and finally things made some sense. I called my dr got my appt as soon as I could. I had so many signs of depression but was in denial. I started seeing a psychologist and have been seeing her once a week since. It's making a huge difference!! It took a while but I finally was able to get out of bed and function throughout the day without crying or getting really mad at the kids for stupid stuff.
All the while I had been researching the lapband and mentioned this to my psychologist and she thought it was a wonderful idea and that it would help me with my depression as well as our sessions. I found out what my insurance required and started on the list: six months of supervised diet from my dr, found my surgeon found out his requirements and filed paperwork for his office.
Then I got a call from the nurse at my surgeons office that said I had to have medical records that proved I had been at my current weight for the last five years consecutively!! WTF!! I was so upset!! I couldn't stop crying - I felt like all hope was lost! It's like the ins. co wants you to be on deaths door b/4 they will pay! She said well you could wait two more years or pay for it yourself. There is no way I could pay out of pocket!
I came on here to OH and posted what had happened and how upset I was - everyone responded saying not to give up - especially Cassandra. It just touched my heart and it gave me the strength to keep on and pray that if it was meant to happen then I would find away around that. So I kept calling the nurse I had spoke with and finally I got put through to their insurance lady and she did a little digging and said that all my insurance actually needed was my dr and my surgeon to fill out a questionaire, and if my dr would circle yes that I had been obese for five straight years - she would do what she had to and then submit it to the insurance company for approval!! I was so excited - finally a break!! I went to my dr for my monthly appt. and explained about the required questionaire that would be coming and the one important question and he said he would look for it and let me know.....
It took just about three weeks from the time he received it and faxed it to the surgeon for him to complete his part and then for the ins. co to come back with an approval!! When I got the call saying I was approved I had to make her repeat herself because I was sure I had heard wrong!!! I am so happy!!
So now here I am watching the clock tick away slowly.....it's 2:20 am - can't wake dh up until 4am to go to the hospital.... I wish I could sleep then it would get here quicker!!
I had to follow a pre-op diet - 12days of sugar free full liquids and the 2 days of sf clear liquids. I think the final two days of clears has been the hardest - because there is not to much to choose from and then of course there is the "liquids in liquids out" thing (sorry if too much info!!).
But if I go by my scale that is a twelve pound head start to the losing side!! I did have my "last" dinner if you want to call it that. Since I'm getting banded right b/4 valentines day my dh decided we should go out the night b/4 I had to start the full liquids diet. He took me and the kids to olive garden. It was nice and I totally ate too much - just like I always do when I go there but it was my one splurge - I was really careful to only have one of those "last" dinners! All those post I read about not over doing it really helped! I shouldn't be thinking about that right now - shame on me - I'm so hungry and thirsty but I have to be good!!
Well I guess that is pretty much it for the old me! Now when I post again - it will be from the new me!! The butterfly inside will be coming out for her second chance at a healthy & happy life!!
