hmd77

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I have been on this WLS journey for a long time. My best friend had it in 1997 and ever since then, I have wanted it, tried to get approved and educated myself about WLS.  During that time I joined the Army and they gave my Butt Kick - errr - Boot Camp WLS. Needless to say exercising 6 hours a day led to extreme weight loss. Shortly after I got out of the Army (4 long skinny years later) I found myself fat again.  Old habits die hard. Sad face.  Today I am educating myself more than I have ever done because I am going through the WLS approval phase [again].  I want to make the best choices and do things right. I do not want to mess up and fall back into my old ways. I know WLS is not a cure but I need it as a tool to help me make better decisions.

Anthem uses www.lapbandoflouisville.com surgeons for WLS. This is good and bad. Good because that is all they do, Lap Band.  No other focus or specialty.  Bad because it is a 45 min drive into the city for each visit.  I will go to my briefing on March 1 and LBoL said they will do the leg work through Anthem.  I mentioned before that this is completely different than how Kaiser did things.  But I am stressed out enough and if LBoL can do most of the leg work for me, well I am happier than a pig in mudd.

Concerns -
What if I fail again?  I am scared, no lie there. I know my willpower is non-exsistent. This is a No-Go with WLS.  I cannot depend on WLS to do everything for me. I need to take responsibility and that is hard! 
What about my Thyroid disease?  I have heard of people with Hypothyroidism getting ood results with the LapBand but I have a hard time believing it. I need PROOF!  How is it that restricting my food will kickstart my thyroid into working again? Scared. Very scared. 
In the closet - No, I'm not gay but my surgery (or desire to have surgery) is in the closet to most everyone. I have 2 dear friends, 1 post op and 1 pre op that are my cheerleaders. They are amazing and they motivate me to push for approval. I am tired of disappointment and worried about failure. Both for myself and anyone that knows my desires to get approved.

Enough for now. I will update again soon.

BTW I am thinking of trying the POST OP DIET for a couple days to see if I can really stick to it. I need to build my willpower back up! Wish me luck.

Well there it is, my insurance. Oh fingers crossed! Enough jumping through hoops for insurance.  This has been a very long process of failed diets, tons of seminars and then denial for being under BMI.  Today I called and made my appointment for the Anthem BC seminar - Mar 1.  The Bariatric Center of Louisville is the only Preferred Provider for Anthem BC and they will do the leg work with Anthem.  This is a nice change from Kaiser that had me running around Virginia and DC to get my authorizations, seminars and appointments. 

I know, there is still a chance I will be denied. This is my absolute last time trying (ok well atleast for a couple years).  If I am denied, I will explore self pay or accept being fat. (Maybe if my Endo gets my Thyroid on track I might even lose a bit....) 

Right now I am dealing with how I will tell my hubby. He is not supportive - he thinks WLS is a cop-out / easy-out.  It isn't. Those of us that battle this war for years (even lifetime for some) know that there is no easy way out of obesity.  It takes hard work, blood, sweat and tears - sometimes LOTS of tears!! 

Anyway, I will keep you updated. And you know what, I will stay positive this time. No more pitty party! If it doesn't work out, well that is just God's will!!! And who I am to complain about His will?!!?

(BTW I recently moved to KY from VA.. and looking for support groups)

Well I finally got regular insurance. After going through all the hoops of Kaiser, then switching jobs and losing Kaiser right before they even got  a chance to approve me!!  I asked my HR person if WLS is covered under my plan and he said yes!  Now, I just need to jump through hoops to make this happen! Wish me luck. More later.

I feel like I am going to be the last fat person on earth!  I can't seem to get approved for the surgery unless I self-pay.  Right now, self-pay is not an option for me.  Man, I am super bummed out.  ... Ugh.. No words right now describe my sadness about this situation I got myself into.

I got another appointment to go to the WLS / Nutrition class for pre-approval of WLS.  I need to have a BMI of 38 which is kind of high but we shall see. Last time I was at 37 and right now I am at 35.5.  I have no co-morbidities but I plan on talking to my doctor before I go and see what she suggest.  There is no sense in going if I can't make the BMI for approval. 

Then there is always... well... MAKING the BMI by any means possible.

Well I did my class and the nutritionist said my BMI was not high enough to have WLS.  I was crushed.  How much more do I need to weigh? This weight is ruining my life.  My friend said her insurance does not have as strict guidelines as mine.  Kaiser wants you to have 38 BMI while some other insurance are as low as 32.  I guess this is what some people have to go through.  So, I joined a gym. Oh lord, that was hard! I haven't worked out hard since I was in the Army (2 yrs ago). I was going almost 4 days a week until recently.  Now I seem to be going as little as one day a week.  I know I need to go more but it is 2 hours from my home. It is close to my work and I thought I would have time to go during lunch or before work - well traffic in the DC area is getting worse and I have been sitting in traffic for almost an hour and a half in the morning.  I am going to bring gym clothes to work and try to go during lunch. Even if it is for 30 minutes at least I will in the gym.  As far as diet goes, well no good news there either.I have been purging more and more. I know I shouldnt eat that sweets or carb heavy food, but I do - then I feel guilty and I purge. Sad. I know.  I have given up fast food for breakfast - that was an everyday thing!!! Now I bring low sugar oatmeal and make it at work.  No more sweet tea either - I am drinking Holiday Peppermint Tea with Splenda (with fiber).  It taste amazing!  I need to refine my eating habits and try harder to get to the gym.  Wish me luck.

PS
I thought about financing my own sugery but conflicted. We shall see.

Well I did my WLS class yesterday.  It is the 1st step in a series of required steps to get the surgery. The BAD NEWS is that according to Kaiser my BMI is not high enough.  Their requirements are BMI or 40 or higher for WLS OR BMI of 35-40 with serious comorbities.  Yeah so I am very heart broken right now.  Unless they will consider my Thyroid disease, spinal injury, migraines and general arthitis a comorbidity then I am @ss out for the surgery. I am super bummed!

I am still doing my protein shakes however I got some useful advice this week from Stephanie.  She told me to put a packet of Crystal Light into the mixer with my normal protein shake ingrediants.  It made a HUGE difference.  Although my doctor says I do not need to start the shakes yet, I was hoping to drop some weight before I even need to.  I have my surgery class on Tuesday but it feels like forever away. I know everyone says to take it one day at a time but this waiting is killing me. I just want to know if I will be approved.

Sigh

So I started using my protein shakes and I feel like crap. It has only been two days but I feel completely drained of energy. My mind is kind o foggy as well. I am not liking this feeling. Last night I had two sips of my shake and threw is away. I went to bed hungry. It was not a great feeling but oh well. Anyway, that is my update. I still need to exercise more but I have been sick for 2 weeks and just can't find the strength.  Wish me luck. Xoxox

Today was pretty bad and it isn't even over yet. I am getting anxious waiting for my class. I want to  know if I will be approved or not. Especially now that I know I have no comoribidities. Today I ate like a cow in heat. I knew it wrong and I should have stopped but I didn't. Now my sugar is out of control, I have a wicked headache and I feel bad about myself. I know I know, everyone makes mistakes but I would not be this heavy if I could STOP making the same mistakes over and over. I am feeling pretty low right now and it sucks. I have been slacking on my exercise and I know it. I need to just shake this depression off and get back on track. It is really hard being in NoVA with no friends or family around to support me. It is really hard. I want to get back on track this weekend, I have to get back on track!! I need it. I hate this feeling. Wish me luck.