Hels
I have been overweight for as long as I can remember, despite going through a period of 'slimness' in my late teens. I was always made to finish what was on my plate and never allowed to leave the dinner table unless I had done so. I don't really know what ignited my love affair with food but I was famed for always clearing the leftovers at every meal.
As I grew up, I was the chubby kid, with the nickname 'The Tank' being the most hurtful and the one that remains with me today. But, for some reason I was never driven to do anything about it. Maybe I sought comfort from food, or I was just plain greedy - I don't know. However, despite this I was fit and healthy, participating actively in sports such as tennis, cycling, dancing and swimming.
As I grew up I did lose some weight and had no shortage of admirers. i was never skinny but I was fairly slim despite my ongoing love of food. Exercise must have helped as I still regularly danced and went to the gym. After I got married, I reluctantly continued to exercise, driven on by my husband who was in the army at the time, going running and playing squash.
After my daughter was born all that changed. I had piled on 5 stone (70lbs) and struggled to lose about 3 of it. But, because I am quite tall I got away with it and felt and looked out. My husband, who only likes 'thin' people (yes, he was that shallow and yes we are still married!) used to nag at me continuously but I still couldn't lose the weight.
When my son was born 7 years later I gained more weight but managed to lose most of it afterwards. I was a steady 168lbs and not unhappy with that. I was always on a diet though in an attempt to get down to my pre-kids weight.
After we moved from Germany back to the UK, I started piling the weight back on. I was desperately unhappy and very lonely, living in South Wales, with no other army families nearby with which to make friends and a young baby. As time went on things went from bad to worse with us having terrible problems with our son who wasn't developing as he should and keeping us awake every night screaming continuously, banging doors and windows and biting and scratching me every time I went near him. This went on for about 6 years. He was diagnosed with autism when he was 9. We had to fight for his diagnosis and to save our family. I'm not exaggerating.
Consequently. I began to suffer with depression as a direct reaction to stress. I still do as although my son is much improved, daily life is very difficult. I didn't care what I looked like or how fat I got. It really was unimportant so I drank and ate as much as I wanted and if I died from it, so what? It would be a relief.
Anyway, I gradually gained more than 7 stone and did half-heartedly attempt various diets, Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Atkins, GI, Calorie Counting, Cabbage Soup, you name it, I have tried it and soon got fed up and unhappy. The hardest part was trying to diet when I had so much other stress going on in my life. It was another battle that I didn't want to have to deal with.
I developed a hernia about 6 years ago that was misdiagnosed as a split muscle. The pain was awful and and I did lose 3 stone only to pile it back on (I just couldn't wait to stuff myself with food and drink again). The hernia was eventually diagnosed 18 months ago after repeated trips to the doctor who just kept saying lose weight. I still couldn't do it. how mad is that? I was in pain every day, I looked nine months pregnand and I still couldn't muster up the willpower to lose weight. All my fight had gone. But despite that I still managed to go back to college, then to university and gain a degree in English language and Linguistics. People ask me how I could do that with having a family and all the problems I had but that was easy. So easy, compared to life.
That is when I arrived here at lap band surgery. Phew! I hear you say. I decided to see a private surgeon regarding my hernia as my family doctor would not refer me, who advised me that there was no point in him operating until I had lost weight. The second time I saw him I had put on weight (!!), yes, after being told I needed to lose it. That is when I discussed the lap band surgery, as he does that as well, and he agreed that it was my best option. He didn't push me in anyway, in order to get my money. I made the decision, albeit a rather rushed one with me not knowing an awful lot about it, but I have no regrets.
My family have all been tremendously supportive and I know that I have done the right thing. The people I have communicated with on this message board are all lovely, friendly and supportive people who all have one thing in common with me.
Here's to fantastic weight losses for us all.
