finnsmum
Saturday
Aug 22, 2008
I only am hurting myself..and enough of why I overeat I can always find an excuse, a special day, a trip with the kids, yesterday it was fudge..yu knw how I know? I was having a tough morning with my seperated boyfriend(i feel we are closer to broken up at this point
) And les working through. I super indulged throwing off the great day of sugar free instant breakfast and such....but ooohhh it was s ogood, and it seemed to put me in a better mod, but I probably imagined that.
It all became clear to me that this is MY jurney..I look at like when I got sober, I through myself into that mission 90 meetingd in 90 days, get a sponsor, keep it simple...but you are part of a group and on any given day, when yu need help you dont know who the miracles working thrugh. Being fat is such a solitary addiction, and I mean that people dont get it..theres n this to shall pass..I tried A but how many 12 steps can a sister handle??????I have had a lot of if you just walked everyday, yu are beautiful as you are(I am ) , its noy about vanity, its about health...why dont people get that?????
Anyone in the OH world if you read this I need help today.....I Hungry Angry Lonely Tired(HALT) its an expressin in the recovery business......I dont know what else to say..anyshared thughts advice prayers I can use them all
Peace
amanda
) And les working through. I super indulged throwing off the great day of sugar free instant breakfast and such....but ooohhh it was s ogood, and it seemed to put me in a better mod, but I probably imagined that.It all became clear to me that this is MY jurney..I look at like when I got sober, I through myself into that mission 90 meetingd in 90 days, get a sponsor, keep it simple...but you are part of a group and on any given day, when yu need help you dont know who the miracles working thrugh. Being fat is such a solitary addiction, and I mean that people dont get it..theres n this to shall pass..I tried A but how many 12 steps can a sister handle??????I have had a lot of if you just walked everyday, yu are beautiful as you are(I am ) , its noy about vanity, its about health...why dont people get that?????
Anyone in the OH world if you read this I need help today.....I Hungry Angry Lonely Tired(HALT) its an expressin in the recovery business......I dont know what else to say..anyshared thughts advice prayers I can use them all
Peace
amanda
Life
Aug 18, 2008
Just had a food meltdown, let myself get over hungry, caught out picking up Sarah at work, Chloe at her Dad's, dropping off the dog overnite while the real estate appraiser came..so hungry couldnt talk...wENDY'S, and it didn't even taste good...then I stopped to get medicine for sarah cause she had poison ivy on her face, and it was buy getone free candy at Rite Aid, so I was like in for a penny in for pound and some reese's too.UUUGGGHHHHH
Bad day at work too...I need too be better prepared, so I have to go back out now to stock up on some healthier ptions....it was just one day..and really just one meal....but you dont realize what comfort food offers until you dont have it as a security blanket..I have therapy Thursday..cant wait..and Chloe starts day care this week, so for the first time in a long time the hour will just be me and Mimi instead of me and Chloe)age2) battling it out
Oh well...got it off my chest..going walking after I straighten up a bit.
Peace ..for now
Bad day at work too...I need too be better prepared, so I have to go back out now to stock up on some healthier ptions....it was just one day..and really just one meal....but you dont realize what comfort food offers until you dont have it as a security blanket..I have therapy Thursday..cant wait..and Chloe starts day care this week, so for the first time in a long time the hour will just be me and Mimi instead of me and Chloe)age2) battling it out
Oh well...got it off my chest..going walking after I straighten up a bit.
Peace ..for now
just a thought
Aug 15, 2008
a href="http://www.anonymousspace.com">
Started pre op diet
Aug 14, 2008
Even though I said Thursady I started Tuesday...aaagghh Im tortured so hungry...I removed all tempting foods..my kids will have t junk it up away frm the house.....Im tortured..Oh I already said that.....I know its for the greater good..that I will feel better as a result of all this, but if I could only eat a little..then I wouldnt be fat in the first place...Im using my tools from recovery..praying, asking for help..and keeping it in the day...small successes= big ones...
Hope othersd are having a better day
Peace
Hope othersd are having a better day
Peace
OH SNAP
Aug 09, 2008
Oh yeah Thursday morning went to see my surgeon..crazy visit had my two year old who was like breaking down the office.long story short..approved for surgery..it gets better..can I take a cancelatiuon appt for sept 24th? I sure can, still not over excited..secondary to awaiting insurance approval...yeahh it came in the mail tday like 2 days later
This is a good day..and I gtta tell u its been a bad week, my boyfriend and I (of 4 years) seperated on Monday..cause hes a freak..and losing his mind...whatever..eyes on the prize..having faith in my higher power..taking care of my kids and keeping it in the day...starting the pre op diet Thursday..so I will have a solid five weeks of it ...need to get all the supplies in the house..etc etc
Peace
This is a good day..and I gtta tell u its been a bad week, my boyfriend and I (of 4 years) seperated on Monday..cause hes a freak..and losing his mind...whatever..eyes on the prize..having faith in my higher power..taking care of my kids and keeping it in the day...starting the pre op diet Thursday..so I will have a solid five weeks of it ...need to get all the supplies in the house..etc etcPeace
Upper GI
Aug 06, 2008
Had the upper GI this morning, not bad, but I thought it meant upper, the kid was so cute gavce me two jonnys and was like one in the front and one in the back, of course I was wearing a THONG!!! I didn't know it was like a full body experience! Hoped they liked the show..........THank Goodness it was tan..At least its over...tomorrow I meet with Dr. Mun to get a date!..Think good thoughts 4 me if u read this
