finnsmum
So Strange
Sep 27, 2008
I am now like 4 days post op..drinking plenty of crystal light and the carnation instant breakfast..the pain is getting better...only in the morning I wake up like I was hit by a truck..then I remember whats up. Taking everything very slow, very slow, drank something to fast and the pain was a lesson learned.
Even though I had been researching and blogging and talking to anyone I knew that could have some advice...its finally real now. As my mum said I am going through a life changing experience. Its true, I used to be thin, and fit, and then I was bigger, but still fit, now I know that I can be thin and fit..for me its about the monkey bars at the playground, about the rides at the summer fair, about making my kids proud, and like so many times before showing them, if you want to make a change, nobody is gonna do it for you..you are your own destiny, make the changes and the results will follow......ts onward and upward from here.........Happy Sunday ..and God Bless
Even though I had been researching and blogging and talking to anyone I knew that could have some advice...its finally real now. As my mum said I am going through a life changing experience. Its true, I used to be thin, and fit, and then I was bigger, but still fit, now I know that I can be thin and fit..for me its about the monkey bars at the playground, about the rides at the summer fair, about making my kids proud, and like so many times before showing them, if you want to make a change, nobody is gonna do it for you..you are your own destiny, make the changes and the results will follow......ts onward and upward from here.........Happy Sunday ..and God Bless
Home
Sep 25, 2008
Back from the hospital..my assistant Matty at my side..thank god for liquid percocet....feeling very sore....having some broth...will update more tomorrow..appreciate everyones good thoughts and prayers...
Its a whole new world..soon I will be on the losers bench
Check back tomorrow
peace
Its a whole new world..soon I will be on the losers bench
Check back tomorrow
peace
September 24th
Sep 23, 2008
What a day today is..its my surgery day!!!
I'm so excited...its finally here!!!! Money paid..instant breakfast in the closet...today is my day...Ironically tomorrow I will have four years clean and sober.....what a miracle this thing called life is...any and all support welcome...I'm tearing up as I write this..in a good way..I'm not gonna be fat anymore..I used to be so skinny and then normal size but always really fit..the gym roller blading etc etc..I'm cheating my youngest by being a fattie..it keeps me from doing things.cause I'm self conscious
NO MORE!!!!!
WISH ME LUCK
I'm so excited...its finally here!!!! Money paid..instant breakfast in the closet...today is my day...Ironically tomorrow I will have four years clean and sober.....what a miracle this thing called life is...any and all support welcome...I'm tearing up as I write this..in a good way..I'm not gonna be fat anymore..I used to be so skinny and then normal size but always really fit..the gym roller blading etc etc..I'm cheating my youngest by being a fattie..it keeps me from doing things.cause I'm self conscious NO MORE!!!!!
WISH ME LUCK
surgery
Sep 20, 2008
Surgery Wednesday..starting to excited /nervous/anxious/hoping for it to be the day. Work has been crazy..so up until today/yesterday I haven't really had time to think about things..I have stuck to the prop diet about 85% of the time, I am down ten pounds, my surgeon called me yesterday to check in, and he was like hoping for some god weight loss..i wanted to be like..if i could lose weight on my own then I wouldn't need surgery,i was frustrated by the exchange because I have tried everything..surgery is the choice of last resort. I take some psych meds that really make it tough to lose weight.
Anyways I want to be positive..surgery this week, I am out of work for three weeks, I need that, but I cannot wait for Wednesday...looking for any and all support
Anyways I want to be positive..surgery this week, I am out of work for three weeks, I need that, but I cannot wait for Wednesday...looking for any and all support
Life on a tuesday night.......
Sep 02, 2008
It's getting better, the diet is tuff, but i am trying on a daily basis to keep to it. My jeans are not cutting off my circulation..I am planning ahead for the next day and its a little better, starting to crave the nightly walk , when I cant have it I am irratable..last 2 nights of summer vacation 4 Sarah...psych!!!!
Because I dont let her go out on school nights so after Chloe is in bed, no excuses I will be able to walk every night. All I can say to Ricky is, I apprecaite ur bailing when I might need u mst, but I know from the past that I will be able to get it done. When I set my mind to things...I can follow through, first the weight loss, then back to school in January..
Because I dont let her go out on school nights so after Chloe is in bed, no excuses I will be able to walk every night. All I can say to Ricky is, I apprecaite ur bailing when I might need u mst, but I know from the past that I will be able to get it done. When I set my mind to things...I can follow through, first the weight loss, then back to school in January..
Acceptance
Sep 01, 2008
Just for today..I am trying to have acceptance, that just like I can't drink like other people..I also need to eat differently, that I definitely turn to food for comfort, for stress, fr celebratin, all the things I use to use booze for...I have always like to eat, but in the past four years, food has def. become a comfort. Also if I don't take the time to plan my days out ahead of time they go to crap. I need to care enugh about my health that I don't care about what other people think of all my containers and my extra skim milk, and my fruit and all. I know that the results will be worth it, its that same self doubt that has always kept me from being successful in the past. That I put my needs at the bottom of the list...esp. when it comes to sleep..how many articles will I read about the importance of a good nights sleep and how it helps ur body lose weight and be more efficient, before I put those chenges in place.
Working on it finally, changing my crazy double single double single schedule for when I go back after surgery in October. Plus I am also realizing I need to have other ways to have fun, than just going out to eat. I will get there, I re-learned to get sober..I can re- learn to get get lighter and healthier...anyways.. I gotta work today but for those who are off enjoy the holiday
Working on it finally, changing my crazy double single double single schedule for when I go back after surgery in October. Plus I am also realizing I need to have other ways to have fun, than just going out to eat. I will get there, I re-learned to get sober..I can re- learn to get get lighter and healthier...anyways.. I gotta work today but for those who are off enjoy the holiday
Getting focused
Aug 25, 2008
Today I have turned over a new leaf, it has been tough the past couple of weeks for me, everyday something else on the pile, when I get stress, I know that I eat, there is a reason I am this heavy, but I have been slammed these past three weeks, and have had slips, but yesterday I decided even if in the moment I make a bad choice, in the long run, I already feel the changes, my pre op eating leaves me in a place where I am not over full, I wake up hungry, I am bringing everything I need to work everyday, I just have t have better strategies for when I am home alone...I'm getting there. A friend of mine had RNY yesterday, and we have been supporting each other in real life(not the OH world), and it made it all so real...I am less than a month from surgery..I am taking a stand..I am changing my life....and despite it all I have lost 2 pounds...just 2, but shows the eating and exercising is sending me in the right direction...I will take it.......anyways......first things first..gotta dry my hair for work..another double..my feet will be killing , but I take a lot of pride that I am able to support my children man, or no man......that's a chapter for later today on the Pretty Ricky front(hes acting like we r a couple just living separate, yeah? how about the fact that I have to do everything myself????And you are hitting 3 meetings a day....talking with ur sponsor, blah blahblah...)
Whatever
I am fierce
Hope everyone has a great day
amanda
Whatever
I am fierce
Hope everyone has a great day
amanda
just a thought
Aug 23, 2008
saturday part deux
Aug 23, 2008
Thanks to people who had nice things to say on the general support board, I needed it. I came home took a nap..talked to my best friend, and took a sweaty walk, the humidity here is something else today, the cool september nights cant come soon enough. Not the trip to the gym I planned but my parents were all done with chloe by the time I got out of work, so I didn't feel like I could ask them t keep her anther 90 minutes..h well when ur sleeping ur not eating...Sunday..here I cme
