amanda M.
blah
Sep 09, 2008
I think I need to downplay my time on this website. Sigh. Reading my friends and seeing the forum posts just makes me depressed. I mean, yes. All I have to do is look down at my stomach and my scars to remember what horrible ordeals I went through with this band. However... I can't help but help but be upset. Why didn't this work for me? It's just not fair. My appetite is insatiable. It's crazy. I wake up and my stomach GROWLS.... It's like nothing I eat satisfies me. My body is screaming for food. Work doesn't help. Free Starbucks drinks on shift... as many as you want... it's a good thing I don't like coffee or expresso; but the tea drinks (which is what I have) are 100 calories each. Everyone I work with is eating pastries and sometimes I swear I want to rip my head off. I had the surgery because I was in a predicament with my body and weightloss and now I am without my "tool" (even though the tool was POISONING ME) and I am so scared that I'm going to gain weight... I don't want to gain weight! Ugh okay enough rambling. I'm sorry! I'm just so frustrated.
blegh
Sep 01, 2008
I feel MUCH better than I did a week ago. However, when something can go wrong, of course it does.... right, I mean why would anything go PERFECT with me?
I had a seroma, again.... the collection of fluid under the skin. Normal for after surgery. Well, the place where the liquid is draining opened really wide. The clinic knows (has known since last week) and just told me to let it heal from the inside.... I dont really think they GOT how large the hole is. So once again, a problem I feel is quite large is being put on the back burner. I have a feeling I'm going to have to have 2 or 3 stitches again at my appointment on Wednesday.
Yeah because you know THAT looks normal right? UGH.
The red "box" is from the tape. I have really sensitive skin, so....
I had a seroma, again.... the collection of fluid under the skin. Normal for after surgery. Well, the place where the liquid is draining opened really wide. The clinic knows (has known since last week) and just told me to let it heal from the inside.... I dont really think they GOT how large the hole is. So once again, a problem I feel is quite large is being put on the back burner. I have a feeling I'm going to have to have 2 or 3 stitches again at my appointment on Wednesday.
Yeah because you know THAT looks normal right? UGH.
The red "box" is from the tape. I have really sensitive skin, so....
CHEESEBURGER
Aug 27, 2008
Today, (through the whole day, 3pm-9pm) I ate a whole double cheeseburger; all 440 lucious calories of it... (my stomach is still not well adjusted to food due to all the infection and removal of the band so if i ate it all at once i would puke or die or something..)
....but a cheeseburger is all I wanted, so I got it. It was heaven. After 2 months of nausea and dry heaving and not knowing what was wrong, losing weight and hair due to malnutrition that cheeseburger was like a serious oral orgasm.
So the 500 calories in the burger were spread through the day but those things have a bunch of protein too....My body is still all in a tizzy; I suppose from not knowing how to act without infection or a band.... usually if i eat more than 300 calories at a time I get queasy.
My doctor said its kind of like a recovering anorexic, though I was an not-on-purpose "accidental" anorexic if you will because of the intense nausea. It's like I WANT FOOD NOW; my appetite has returned after... 2 weeks.... but I can't just shove it all down or I get sick which is probably not a bad thing.
Anyway. I'm doing better. We moved Sophie over to her 'big girl bed' 2 nights ago and she didn't cry or anything. She sleeps well in it. Same mattress, so I suppose its not that big of a change. My baby is a big girl. I had a little cry when we took the crib to storage, and now I'm fine.
....but a cheeseburger is all I wanted, so I got it. It was heaven. After 2 months of nausea and dry heaving and not knowing what was wrong, losing weight and hair due to malnutrition that cheeseburger was like a serious oral orgasm.
So the 500 calories in the burger were spread through the day but those things have a bunch of protein too....My body is still all in a tizzy; I suppose from not knowing how to act without infection or a band.... usually if i eat more than 300 calories at a time I get queasy.
My doctor said its kind of like a recovering anorexic, though I was an not-on-purpose "accidental" anorexic if you will because of the intense nausea. It's like I WANT FOOD NOW; my appetite has returned after... 2 weeks.... but I can't just shove it all down or I get sick which is probably not a bad thing.
Anyway. I'm doing better. We moved Sophie over to her 'big girl bed' 2 nights ago and she didn't cry or anything. She sleeps well in it. Same mattress, so I suppose its not that big of a change. My baby is a big girl. I had a little cry when we took the crib to storage, and now I'm fine.
i take it back
Aug 24, 2008
i wish i could take it all back.... never ever have done this surgery. i would rather be fat and happy and feel like i used to feel than be lighter (70 pounds) and feel so shitty like i do now and have for the past year. I lost a year of my life to this band and bad doctors with bad diagnosis. Nobody can give me my year back, with multiple surgeries,..... and I dont know how long my body will take to heal from this infection and major surgery. Worst decesion ever.
hell
Aug 18, 2008
as most of you know I was "diagnosed" with a kidney infection (fever, chills, side pain, nausea) which proved to be wrong.... July of last year I had a lap band placed and from then to now nothing has gone right with it; Friday it all came to a head and when I went in for surgery, they found out just got extreme the infection was... spiderwebs of infection were connecting themselves from this band to parts of my stomach an lungs... so a 40 minute surgery turned into a 4 hour surgery and a overnight stay turned into 3 days. I"m back now but I have an open 10 inch incision in my belly.
band out tomorrow
Aug 14, 2008
band comes out tomorrow..... see you in hell you stinkin' rotten motherfucking band from hell.
blah
Aug 08, 2008
So they finally told me what was up with me being so sick.... i have a kidney infection. My mom had suggested that possibility but wasn't sure but I had a blood and urine test done and sure enough... the kidney is infected... so now I am taking 2 antibiotics and tylenol for the pain (which feels like someone is stabbing me in my flank/black/side with a knife) and to get rid of the fever. If i don't take tylenol, the fever comes back... usually 100-102. Highest was 102.8 I seriously just want to feel better. And tomorrow is my birthday! I just want to be able to enjoy it.
overshadowing the faith
Aug 02, 2008
Well, i hate to overshadow the good news but i am sickkkkk. I don't think it has anything to do with the band or anything... I think I have a bug or something. Probably due to my immune system being so shitty...Since my last entry 2 days ago and the loss of 5 pounds I have lost an additional 8 pounds simply by not being able to eat... I've been trying to keep hydrated.... but I don't think that's working because I am so shaky and weak and I have a constant headache. I'm really tired of dry heaving because it's hurting my ribcage even moreso. But there's nothing to throw up.... I never knew being stomach sick sucked so much with the band... its like it prevents you from throwing up.... just fucking kill me.
surgery- check
Jul 30, 2008
I had my surgery July 18th. I decided to keep the band and remove the port. While he was in there, I got an EGD to make sure nothing had slipped or eroded (didn't) he then gave me an injection and now i have a lot of restriction.... from the 18th to today when I saw him, I lost 5 pounds putting me at 262 from 309. I will decide later in September when I want the port put back in. I want to heal up. I also dont feel like feeling like I did post-surgery with all the anesthesia and such. That's a crap feeling. Tired, run down.... Then I pulled a muscle under my ribs and... ugh. Well that's my update! Oh I got a job at starbucks (again) so I started there today. Also got my OLL so I can drive myself to work and my doc appointments.
saw doc
Jul 02, 2008
finally saw a doctor that actually said something that i could relate to, understand..... So, well, I knew the news was coming for a while and I heard it this morning finally....about my lap band infection and now I am given 3 options.
Option 1: Do what has already been done once. Keep band in place; remove the port and the tubing leading to the band and hope that it is a) either the new(er) port or that b) part of the tubing that is infected... and while it's out, it wil heal then in about 4 weeks, he would put the port back in attached at a different place and then reattach the tubing.
PROS of option 1:
keeps band in place, no need for more invasive surgery keeps restriction i already have in place- less chance to overeat
CONS of option 1:
procedure has already been done when i had the infection the first time around and there is a chance that it will happen again and i will be right back where i started
Option 2: Go in and completely remove the band... let the area heal about 6-8 weeks, decide if I want to put a new band back in.
PROS of option 2:
completely removes band, and with that; ANY and ALL infection and bacteria (since he can't pinpoint where the bacteria is)
have the option to not put the band back in
CONS of option 2:
more costly; more invasive (2) surgeries (one to take it out, one to put it back in)
no band, no restriction, chance of gaining weight... basically i have to redo and relearn everything i have gotten used to with the band already...
Option 3: Remove band completely and have gastric bypass instead. Uh, option 3 was kind of just thrown out there. I am not comfortable with the bypass... and I don't think I would even have it done. I don't know enough about it, plus I don't like the ideas of cutting and bypassing organs... a band I can handle but a complete re-working of my insides doesn't sound good to me.
So basically, I have these 2 options, now... both require more surgery, ugh, but... it needs to be done, I can't stand the infection any longer... it's not like it hurts or anything but nothing can be done with the band... I can't have any adjustments made, so its basically like the band is there but not functional anyway. I think I'm leaning more towards option 1. The only downside I see is... well... what if it all happens AGAIN? What if there is infection in the BAND itself and then, ugh. It's not about the money... it's just about what is best for me and right now I'm not so sure what that is!
Option 1: Do what has already been done once. Keep band in place; remove the port and the tubing leading to the band and hope that it is a) either the new(er) port or that b) part of the tubing that is infected... and while it's out, it wil heal then in about 4 weeks, he would put the port back in attached at a different place and then reattach the tubing.
PROS of option 1:
keeps band in place, no need for more invasive surgery keeps restriction i already have in place- less chance to overeat
CONS of option 1:
procedure has already been done when i had the infection the first time around and there is a chance that it will happen again and i will be right back where i started
Option 2: Go in and completely remove the band... let the area heal about 6-8 weeks, decide if I want to put a new band back in.
PROS of option 2:
completely removes band, and with that; ANY and ALL infection and bacteria (since he can't pinpoint where the bacteria is)
have the option to not put the band back in
CONS of option 2:
more costly; more invasive (2) surgeries (one to take it out, one to put it back in)
no band, no restriction, chance of gaining weight... basically i have to redo and relearn everything i have gotten used to with the band already...
Option 3: Remove band completely and have gastric bypass instead. Uh, option 3 was kind of just thrown out there. I am not comfortable with the bypass... and I don't think I would even have it done. I don't know enough about it, plus I don't like the ideas of cutting and bypassing organs... a band I can handle but a complete re-working of my insides doesn't sound good to me.
So basically, I have these 2 options, now... both require more surgery, ugh, but... it needs to be done, I can't stand the infection any longer... it's not like it hurts or anything but nothing can be done with the band... I can't have any adjustments made, so its basically like the band is there but not functional anyway. I think I'm leaning more towards option 1. The only downside I see is... well... what if it all happens AGAIN? What if there is infection in the BAND itself and then, ugh. It's not about the money... it's just about what is best for me and right now I'm not so sure what that is!
