dizzfree37

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I am driving myself crazy thinking about this test for nicotine...I worry that I didn't quit soon enough....and I'm ashamed I have cheated.   I quit for the 3rd time on Thursday May 5th, 2011...I woke up that am smoke free and have stayed that way since.  It's a struggle because EVERYONE around me smokes,  my mom, sisters, fiance', friends....I just want to stay at work....no one smokes that I work with and it's a smoke free building....so I dint have any cravings there.  I believe the key to quiting is life style changes....just as I have changed the way I eat and exercise.....I have changed the routine I have held for many years...anything I did in the mornings when I got up...or how i drive to work...I no longer go to my car for lunch....I cleaned my car out and shampooed the carpets....I never smoked in my house, so that was never a problem.  I don't understand why the nicotine has such a control over smokers....Seriously...I only had maybe 4 cigs a day...most of the time it was less, mostly because I don't smoke at home and my work is smoke free building, so WHY is it so hard???      I want to be healthy...I want to be free from cigarettes ......sorry I keep repeating myself...but I'm really writing this for my self...to remind myself why I quit and why it is so important to me!!    I have noticed that writing this blog helps me get past any cravings and it makes me feel good about what I am doing.  Ahhhhhhh.....the count down is on.....13 days to my sleeve!!!!     I WILL SUCCEED!! 

Well.....3 months went by so fast.....I am only 2weeks out from my surgery date!!   Liquid diet is going pretty well....the first 4 days are a nightmare.....but then it becomes habit. I do miss chewing ....but to compensate...I chew sugar free gum!!  My biggest struggle thus far....and I cant figure out why.....and I hate to admit it.....smoking....I have quit and failed so many time over the last 3 months.....my longest run was 5 days and then.....poof...  I have never smoked a lot....I used to have one in the am.....one at lunch and one on the way home....I dont smoke in my house and I cant smoke around my daughter....shes allergic.......so...on average maybe 4 cigs a day.....why in the hell am I having such a hard time giving this up!!!   As of today I am on day 4.....and I'm doing better mentaly than in the past.  I changed a couple things I think may be a "trigger"  to lighting up.   I want to be done with cigs all together ....I hate the way they taste and I  HATE the way they make me feel.....so ....I truly believe this time...... I'm gonna make it!!