dizzfree37

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So ...as I am sitting here at work.....I realize....crap .....I've already been back to work for a month!!   WTH!   I feel fantastic!!   I have not had a problem with any food or liquid I've tried! of course things could change at any moment, but for now......wooooo hooooo.!!!   I had a small issue with dehydration.....but that was my fault for slacking off on the fluids when i got back to work.  I just didnt think about it.....big mistake!!  wont happen again!  

As for  weight ....well....I must have hit the week "stall" week.  :)   To be honest......I havent been weighing my self at all....I have just noticed my clothes fitting different and people asking if I have lost weight.  So, I'm happy. I want it to come off, but I dont want it to come off to fast. I want to give my skin time to tone up and conform to my bones....LOL!!    Like I said....I feel great!  

Being a month out from surgery.....I have to say the time has just flew by.   I kept my self on liquids and mushy foods the first couple weeks.....but by the  third week .....I WAS HUNGRY!!   I started slowly eating solids and meats and breads.....I loved it all...my taste buds have been intensified 200%  ..   Everything tastes so good!!   I cant get over the flavor of food!  So, eating normal food ( healthy food)  has probably slowed my weight loss a little, but I"m still only getting about 800 calories a day!   I was doing great with protein there for a while.....then of course being at work......I slacked off and didnt get in the protein I should have.  I havent felt bad....but I dont want to take any chances of loosing my hair!!   

I had my one month follow up with Dr. V....lost another 10 lbs since he saw me 3 weeks prior.   Pretty good if you  ask me!!.   I do A LOT of walking and working in the yard now that I have clearence to do whatever I want too!!   I tell ya....i think the hardest part for me was being down!  I hate not being able to help out or plant my flowers, do laundry,  lift a baby.....I was miserable untill I got my clearance.   Well, that's about it this time around.   I hope some of my experiences help some of you other sleevers!!  

TTFN

Well......today is day 2 of being back at work...and I have to say...I'm doin really well.   Not in any pain, I have one incision site that gives me a little tug every once in a while....but other than that...I'm good.    It's only been two weeks and I feel wonderful!!   I thought the "hunger"  went away with surgery......not so much.   I get a small crampy feeling when I'm hungry ( which isnt very often)  but thats the feeling I get.  I started my self on mushy foods last week.  I just needed more than liquid.  Dr said that was fine as long as I watched my portion sizes and not "over due it"  so far so good.   I havent had any nausa or vomiting, no dumping, no pain.  I can eat about 2 oz of food at every meal, sometimes less.   I am eating just about whatever I want to eat!!  I have fish, chicken breast, tuna, hamburger, pasta, cheese, water, G3, pudding, jello, apple sauce, potatoes, peas, protein bar, nuts, yellow squash, zucchini, just to name a few of the things I have eaten with no problem.  I am very blessed.  I pack my lunch and snacks and drinks for work.  I usually pack a varity of things so I have a choice of what I want to eat.  Everything is measured or weighed and almost all my drinks have some kind of protein in them.  when I have a craving for salt, I have pretzel chips....and I suck or lick the salt off of the chip.  I havent tried pizza or any junk food. I really want to focus on the healthy stuff first. 

So.....for the first 2 weeks....things seem to be going very well!!   

Well, I can definitely say my experience has been a little different from others on here! HA   Monday is pretty much a blur.....I was in and out of sleep all day and when I finally woke up for more that 5min.....it was Tuesday afternoon.  Here's MY story...

This is the list of things I packed and used at the hospital....

1- tooth brush and paste
2-chap stick
3- lap top and charger
4-cell phone and charger
5- my own socks with "grippers" on the bottom
6-travel size shampoo and conditioner( my mom helped me shower before I went home on Wednesday)
7-hair brush and hair ties ( I have long hair, wanted it up and out of the way)
8-insurance card and photo ID
9- sweats and t-shirt, panties, to go home in....(Dr suggested clean clothes, even though I only wore the ones I wore  Monday a few hours.....he suggested fresh, clean clothes to go home
10.- my own Jammie's ( felt good to have my soft, comfortable Jammie's on. 
 

The lap top was a life saver.....I have "Netflix"  so I watched movies instantly the three days I was in the hospital....I could also check the weather,  and chat with  friends and family.  If dint have net flix.....i would suggest getting it.....I had nurses in my room all the time watching the movies with me....lol.  
I had a private room, which was great!  I had a morphine drip, which I used until the day I went home.  The nurses were fantastic!  I pretty much did what I wanted after they showed me how to unplug the IV machine and get out of bed.  I walked every couple of hours. 

Sleeping has been the biggest challenge for me as I am a "tummy sleeper"  and there is no way in he** I can sleep on my sides or my tummy right now.....it's just to tender.   The Dr gave me liquid loratab for pain killer at home....tastes awful...but seems to be doing the trick.  I have 6 small incision sites.....all which look great right now, but are so tender, I have to hold my belly when I walk and need assistance when getting out of bed or out of the recliner.  My Dr said to focus on keeping myself hydrated the next 2 weeks, so I pretty much have something in my hand or by the recliner ALL DAY.  I can only tolerate 1oz of liquid every hour or so.........so that made it harder.

Now that I'm on day 5,  the pain its self is tolerable,...however, I have the worst stomach cramps ever......at least I think that's what they are?  I have never felt anything like it before.  I called the DR yesterday and they want me to concentrate on keeping my self hydrated.  So, here I sit.....not able to sleep because the pain comes and goes and sometimes they are sharp,  sharp enough to make want to double over in pain. it only lasts for a few seconds.......but they make me want to cry every time.   I just cant figure it out!   I gotta a get some rest......more later........

Well............the day has arrived........I am both scared and happy.........and STARVING.........two and a half weeks of liquids.......I have a pretty tight shedule........usually having my protein shake about now........as crazy as it sounds....I would LOVE to have one right about now........anything to fill my tummy would help.....  HAHA.  I am going to get the girls ready and off to school......finish packing my bag, and head out to the hospital to begin the best change of my life!  I think I'm more nervous about the weather......it's supposed to be severe storms today.....just makes me a little on edge....  I know things will be fine!!    I have faith in Dr V.   !!    Well......I gotta get off here so I can get my day started!!!   

well......2 days to go and my sleeve date is here!  a little nervous....a little scared....of course I'm thinking I will be the only one this won't work on and I will never loose any weight.  I'm scared I will never wake up, I have a thousand things going through my head.....which I assume is normal.   Any surgery is scary.....               I am going to spend the weekend planting the rest of my flowers and making sure my girls have everything ready for next week.  They have their last day of school on wednesday and I want them to have clothes and things set out and ready to go since I wont be home and grandma will be with them.  They are old enough to get along on their own for a couple hours......but not old enough in my mind to take care of eachother.   lol....don't tell them I said that......they would be so mad!!   

I am going shopping today for all the foods and liquids I will need for the post op diet.  Want to be sure I have what I need so I dont "make do"   with something that might hurt my new tummy.    My mom and I have enlarged the diet time sheet and instructions so we can get all the meals prepared in advance once I get home.  My mom is going to take care of me for a couple of weeks....and help me keep myself on track.   This is going to be one hell of a ride!!    I know the weight will not come off super fast, and I know I will REALLY have to pay attention to how much and what I'm eating......but that sounds like a dream compared to eating whatever I want and however much makes me full.   You see.....with this new tool......I am going to have a serious restriction!!   no more binge eating, no more hiding food and eating it later when no one is around,   no more stuffing myself just because I can.  I HAVE to pay attention to everything that goes into my body or I will jack up all mine and my dr's hard work!!    well.....more later.......

3 days to surgery.........um....can I have a valume!!    LOL.... things have been going good.   I had quit smoking for 2 weeks ....when.....poof..I got reall pissed off and I cheated .....TWICE!!  what in the he** was I thinking!!   I know, I know....no need to lecture me...I know what a jack ass I am!   trust me!   any whoo......I had delt with every emotion since quiting, and thought I had removed all "triggers"  .....I was so proud of myself....who would have thought that anger would have been the emotion to make me cave?   I just hope I clear the nicotine test on Monday morning.   I cheated Tuesday night.  So hopefully with 5 Days smoke free....I will past the test and get sleeved!!   If not.........I'm not sure I will be able to resist stopping at the nearest quik trip for a pack of smokes.....just kidding..........I will reschedule for a couple weeks out....maybe a month and continue to be smoke free!   I will be so mad at myself .......It will take some getting over.......but...here's to positive thoughts....and that 5 days of smoke free will do the trick!!!   WISH ME LUCK!!  

well....I am 9 days away from my surgery date ..............I go to my final pre-op appt and find out number 1 I have sleep apnea bad enough to require  a cpap machine....and no one told me until a week away from my surgery!!!!!  Dr. wont do the surgery unless I have that machine.....I hope I can get it before the end of the week!!     I got really pissed off on Friday and jacked up my no smoking run...........I only had one, cuz I was really pissed..........but still,  thats no excuse.  I have decided to call my pcp monday and get on chantix.  I have always wanted to give it a try.......I guess nows the time.  I dont want to crave a cig any more........not ever!!  I'm so done with smoking .......I dont even know how to explaine it!    I'm also hoping they dont test me for nicotine the day of surgery.....I have the time off from work all set.....I'm afraid I might have to come a bit un done tf they make me re-schedule.....     Other than that........I'm still on track, things are going as planned......9 days to go!!  whoo hooo!!

Well.........I have been going strong since I came clean about cheating and having a couple puffs of a cigarette....haven't had a cig since Monday........and NO CHEATING!!   I can't believe it!!  That's proof you can do anything you set your mind too....I have my final pre-op meeting today with Dr. V.   Not sure what happends at this appt. but hope it goes well.  after this weekend things are going to fly by ......or at least I hope they do.....cant wait to get sleeved on the 24th!!!!    

As for this liquid diet.........honestly...it's not terrible once you get past the 4th day....and I have had every day planned out and lunch/ shakes packed for work the night before.  I think the key to this is to be prepared!  Have your protein shakes/ smoothies made and in the fridge ALL THE TIME  I have always had something in the fridge I could drink if I got the "urge to snack"   or I would just grab a glass of icewater and a straw and sip, sip, sip my way to no more hunger.   The  whey protein powder is fantastic....although....with all the protein...I added a spoon of "fiber"  so I didnt have any trouble "going"  has worked like a charm! 

My family has been fantastick with helping cook meals for dinner .......It was really hard for me in the beginning...I didnt want to stand at the stove and cook food I couldn't eat....but .....my kiddos need to eat and they sure as he** didnt want a shake!!  hahaha  so.....thinking about them has made it easier for me to cook.....and not only that, like I said ....it just becomes habit after the 4th day....and I just have it in my mind......sorry...no solid food for you.....go get your smoothie.   Sure there are tough times, like at work when the drug reps bring lunch or breakfast......or a nephews birthday and everyone is having cake and icecream.....but soon enough.....I will be able to eat solids again....and who knows....my new stomach may not like cake or icecream!!    It's been a rough road....but keeping your "eye on the prize"  helps ....every step of the way.......hang in there baby......your gonna make it!!

I have been posting about my struggles with quiting smoking......and talking to EVERYONE I know to keep me from cheating ....and all along.....all I had to do was paint my house.....HA!   I'm serious,  I have been working on my house for some time now, and low and behold!!   I got home last night, changed my clothes,  made my last protein shake for dinner, put it in the fridge....grabbed a glass of ice water and headed downstairs to paint......before I knew it....it was 10pm and I was ready to go to bed.  Now...I don't get that lucky tonight....I will get home, make my shake and go for my walk.......but I plan to head downstairs and get after it when I get back.!!   I just want to give a HUGE shout out to everyone who has been helping me and encouraging me though this transition!!   I can not thank any of you enough!!  I wanted to stop smoking without the help of any "false"  nicotine or drugs.......and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I meet with my surgeon tomorrow for my final pre-op appointment.  As of today my sleeve is 12 days away!!  I cant believe it!!  I am so ready....my cupboards are stocked with protein powder and crystal light, my fridge has milk and jello, pudding, yogurt, cottage cheese, I have a blender, a ice shaver, and all kinds of little plates and bowls.......and spoons and forks.  My family and my kids have been behind me 100%...........YES........I knew this day would come!!!! 

Well.......I couldn't stand the quilt of cheating an I had to send my nurse an email letting her know what I have done and that I would not touch another cig as long as I live!!   and that's the truth!!   The pressure of all of this is just ......ugh....coping with the anxiety, stress, change in mood.....I mean....we change our whole lifestyle and on top of that ......drop all of our coping mechanism's (smoking, chocolate, soda, whatever your poison)  and I broke.....my emotions got the best of me and I caved....Now I have picked myself up and dusted off the hurt and quilt.......got my head on straight and givin this my whole attention.  

I can handle the liquid part, the changing the way I eat, what I eat, how I eat.......the exercise......all of this I have been changing for the last 6 months to a year.......I never once thought about the smoking.....but now.......now that I have finally seen the light.....finally in my heart know what I want........now I know I can do this.......has it been hard....HELL YES!!  but no one said any of this was gonna be easy.   So,  I sit here in front of my computer today....proud......with a smile on my face......knowing I have been honest with everyone around me and with myself.......that this is going to be a battle........and I will rule the day....I will defeat this addiction......I will become stronger, healthier,  vibrant,  person ........

I'm so excited!   a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.   I am a week and a half out from my surgery date and I pray with all my heart things will be ok and all will go as planned.

one day at a time ..............just take one day at a time...........  :)