Marisol C.

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Seems like i'm doing check ins on a year to year basis.  So here I am 7 years out and stable at 145lbs.  I did have a lower body lift, tummy tuck and am feeling wonderful.

I also started a blog to talk about my VBG and how it's affected me and wanted to share this with everyone. www.mystilettos.wordpress.com check it out and feel free to email me anytime.

Marisol

So here I am... just about 6 years out.. when I initially had my surgery I weighed 260lbs.. I my highest weight was 280lbs.. I was told that I would get to just under 200lbs.. and that most likely because I choose to have the VBG as opposed to the regular RYN I would begin to regain my weight at some point within 3 years of the surgery. 

Today.. almost 6 years out of my surgery.. I am down to 145lbs.. and am going in on July 20th for my lower body lift.  This will be the finilization of this long 6 year journey.. I am not a typical result of VBG.. why did it work for me.. maybe because I wanted so desperately to fit into society.. maybe it was a miracle.. maybe I used it as a tool and not a cure.. I really don't know why but it did...

I feel the best I have ever felt.. the last time I weighed 145lbs I must have been in grade school.. I am confident.. I feel beautiful.. I have a loving partner who makes me feel beautiful.. a great kid.. supportive family.. maybe that's why all of this worked.. in the end.. at this point.. it worked.. I'm blessed beyond being blessed.. I have made such a turn in my life.. from relationships.. to self care.. I consider myself extreamly lucky.. and again.. blessed beyond words..

My life partner Robert.. my daughter Gab.. are the pillars to my life.. my family.. the walls that keep it all together.. and without them.. I would have never come this far..

so for those of you out there.. seeking to have surgery.. or thinking of it.. I can tell you.. I experience pain.. a lot of pain.. a lot of frustration... a lot of anxiety over the foods I could and could  not eat.. I have had multiple surgeries to make my body look somewhat normal.. and going in for my last and final one..

if asked today.. tomorrow or next year if I would do it again my answer would be most definately without a doubt..

so my best to all of you who are about to embark on this journey... my blessings and prayers that your success be as amazing as mine..

and to those of you who have traveled these 6 years with me throughout this journey I thank you for all the support and love.

God Bless
Marisol

Well here I am, 5 years out on my surgery I had a VBG and amazingly contrary to popular belief I have not only kept the weight I initially lost off but have lost more in the process.  I went from an astounding 280 pre - op to 150lb at my current weight.

I'm happier and healthier then I have ever been in my entire life.   if you want to know more hit me up.. i'd be glad to talk.

09/13/06 - So here I am.. almost 3 years out 100lbs lost in total and preparing to go in for my Tummy Tuck on Monday September 18th if all goes well. I am extreamly happy with my surgery.. I'm over joyed with the results and I can't wait to finally reach full circle with my surgery for the removal of the skin. So wish me luck everyone.. and I will right about my progress of the TT as soon as I am able to with updated photos to show.

02/22/06 - Well I havent' written in a while. I stablized at a 90lbs loss and haven't lost anything more its not a big deal for me. cause what I have lost has made such an incredible difference in my life.. i'm so much happier now. I need to have skin removed now and when I get my energy back to full I will work on actually exercising.. seems like everything takes over and I rarely get a chance to work out. So I just wanted to update.. would I do this again.. absolutely!!!! no doubt about it.

9/28/05 - Not much to report other then my tummy tuck was denied evidently my job put a clause into the new insurance so they won't cover it.. which means i have to come up with the money myself and well thats not going to happy for a while. Other then that i'm still at 170lbs no change.. I do walk about 2 to 3 mails at least 4 times a week.. and I have been trying to watch what I eat although at this far out.. its getting harder.. but i'm plugging away and staying strong still feeling great..and happy as all hell with this surgery.. got a pair of jeans that have become my fav.. am dreading when they will be worn out and stuff but at the moment I love my jeans.. tell you nothing like getting into a real pair of jeans.. it just make it even more worth while.. anyway..enough for now.. will post again soon. peace out PEOPLE!! :D

7/20/05 - I just realized that I haven't updated my profile today when i was showing a friend of mines what i looked like before.

Well here I am 1 year and 11 months later and you know what.. I"M dong DAMN good.. i'm just feeling in such a place right now.. I know now that all i've gone through was worth it.. i've empowered myself, my daughter and in talking about it empowered others. I have no regrets.. and everything is just the way i need it to be right now..I'm in the process of trying to get a tummy tuck approved to get rid of the excess skin and i will finally be done with this entire process and well be in an even better place. Anyway, i'm keeping it short cause i've got a lot to get done but wanted to update and and say I think this whole process of the surgery and everything else was soooooooo worth it.. i would do it again in a heart beat..

peace out people

1/17/05 - So.. i'm under severe i'm talking severe stress with a situation at home..and notice i was having big issues with my eating.. I want to eat.. eat and eat..

so today..

I gave myself permission to binge

Under one rule

No junk

So I have litterally spent the entire day eating

thin layers or egg salad on bread, soup, more soup, more thin layer of eggs on bread.. I had a tea party on sunday and had like a million tea sandwiches left.. so I ate and ate and ate..

got enough carbs in me to run circles..

and i'm sure my binges now aren't like they use to be..

but I gave myself permission which was weird usually i beat myself up for bingeing but today..I said ok.. here is the binge rule.. no junk.. eat away enjoy and tonight at midnight you done..

I'm actually feeling real good about that.. it might not be a good idea technically to binge I know that.. but god knows i've beating myself up emotionally enough this week.. sigh.. so now i'm off to have a popsicle ff sugar free before my midnight dead line.

just thought i'd share.

12/07/04 - Ok.. time for updates.. not much to report except that I have started to keep track of my food intake and have finally gotten an exercise bike to use. So i'm also back to exercising and my leg is starting to feel much better now that I am using the bike as opposed to walking like I use to. Other then this everything is a-ok. Till next time.. Ta-Ta

11/17/04 - OK.. let me get my but back in gear!!! I think that i'm pretty much at the end of my weight loss however. I have also stopped trying and haven't been eating correctly. Either i'm eating too much of the wrongs things.. or I go completely opposite and don't eat at all.. which I know from experience is not good. So I started a food journal just to see what my average intake of food is and what I am mostly eating.. I know that my carbs are high because I have been having major problems with my protein intake. I can't seem to stomach any solid protiens except beans.. So, i'm going today to do some grocery shopping and stock up on protien based foods I maybe able to stomach. Honestly I don't want to lose anymore weight because I have never been thin seeing myself lose much more just wont' be me.. I'm now down to 170 which is great I feel great and if I can get past my gimpy leg (I have developed Bursitis in my right leg) I will be fine.. Now I think I want to start looking into toning up my body and getting some muscle mass.. hmm..maybe I'll become a body builder..lol.. who know.. anyway.. enought update for now till next time. PEACE!

09/16/04 - Oh my.. I was just reading back on my profile about how things have gone during this year that I have had of regaining a life I had lost under many lbs. And I realized that during this entire time that I was struggle with this process I never once mentioned that I was also in the process of a divorce from my second husband. Exactly 1 day to the my first month anniversary of the surgery I was in court finalizing my divorce. I won't go into detail suffice it to say I married the wrong person. Low self esteem gave me permission to do that and stupidity added to my choice. Right now I'm playing the field as they would say. Getting to know different people but definately not in any rush to hook up with anyone. Life's good for me right now and getting involved in a relationship will ruin it as I see it for myself. Maybe when I tire of having a good time, traveling and life in general i'll seek out a companion but for now lifes good.. hey don't get me wrong i'm not closing my doors complete if someone worthy of me comes along I sure won't turn them away but i'm definately going to be more choosey :-)

09-15-04 - I have to confess that there are times that I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, it’s not me. Looking back from the inside of that shinning piece of glass is a stranger. I have to look deeply into the eyes of the woman looking back at me to recognize who she is.

This stranger she stands taller, she's slimmer, she dresses differently, she hold her head up high and she stares back at me with an intensity that scares me. In her eyes I see defiance, I see sorrow, I see love, and caring and just a tiny bit of fear and a lot of hurt.

It’s been a transformation of the body. But the mind continues to believe what I was before is what I am now. The inner struggle is a battle, who will win this battle is unknown to me. Sometimes I just pray that that stranger in the mirror will learn how to get along with the woman who stands on the other side.

It’s a strange sensation I look at photos of me before and that is who I relate with she is the person I have been accustomed to being. She is the one who never quite fit in. The one who got the stares and giggles the one who was called fat and felt unloved. The one who never attracted much attention in a crowd. The Stranger in the mirror fits in. she is the normal one there are no giggles or stares directed at her. She no longer feels fat or unloved. She attracts attention. When someone throws a compliment at the Stranger she glows but the woman on the other side of the mirror wants to crouch down and hide. It’s a constant battle the stranger and the woman are in. A battle only they understand.

Will they ever learn to get along? Will they ever learn to live together peacefully? I don’t know but every morning when I look in the Mirror and see the stranger staring back at me I know the battle has begun again another day from morning till night. I’m just hoping one of these women will tire of the fight and give up or that they learn to love each other and live as one.

08/18/04 - HAPPY Re-BIRTH day to me..and what a rebirth its been.. down 85lbs I haven't lost anymore weight since my last input.. but I feel wonderful!! I have lived more this year then I ever did the previous years of my life.. I am having a wonderful time enjoying summer activities and especially enjoying running into people who I haven't seen in ages.. I hope to maintain the loss I have achieved to date and hope to maybe lose a few more. Aside from the hanging skin.. I'm loving every minute of this new chance at living!!

05/06/04 - Down 85lbs now.. just 15lbs away from my ultimate goal of 160lbs, its amazing how this whole process has gone for me. Now that my body has made so many changes I have been attempting to change my innerself. Specifically attempting to challenge myself with doing things I would not normally do and being more social. Which brings me to my past weekend experience. I decided to sign up for a women's retreat at a center called Peace Village.. well.. I also decided that I had to forge on this jouney myself. And needless to say it was an experience which didn't start off so positivly.. After having had a battle with a bowl of grits.. which hardened and made me spend the better part of the am puking my guts out.. I had an anxiety attack and spent the first night at the retreat crying hysterically cause I wanted to go home. But I stayed and i'm extreamly glad I did because I was able to enjoy myself and meet a number of great women.. and was actually sad at leaving.. so now I will forge on to my next adventure which will be a trip to London with my 8 year old.. :) wish me luck hopefully this time I won't cry.

03/19/04 I've lost 75lbs so far.. and found that this surgery has not only changed me physcially but also has changed me mentally and personality wise. Last month I was on a bad platue.. I hadn't lost an ounce fortunately I didn't gain either considering what I was doing and why.. I found myself grazing and falling back into my old habbits. So I stepped back and had to be honest with myself about what was going on. and I realized that I was starting to think that people liked me the way I was before and many can't handle the person I am becoming so internally I started to sabotage my efforts because I was associating the weight loss with the way other's were treating me. So I pulled myself together, and started to do the right things again.. lost 5lbs within a week, and really started to do some soul searching as to why I am the way I am.. and why I have never allowed myself till now to be who I want to truely be... and as I was journaling which I try to do every night.. I just couldn't come up with anything..

So last night I had this conversation with my sister.. and I was telling her how I felt and what I wanted to do and I could hear the silence while I was talking you know the kind of silence you get when people think you've fallen off you rocker.. lol.. well.. after I spoke to her I decided to write her a letter just to clarify that I didn't go crazy and that my weight loss surgery didn't require removal of part of my brain..lol..

so as I re-read the letter I sent her..a statement I made caught my eye..

it was this one..
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"I realize that if I’m honest with myself this has been my fault I’ve lived for everyone else because living for myself seemed painful and now I suddenly realized that living for everyone else has caused me more pain in the end."
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and it was as if a light clicked on for me.. and I suddenly realized thats it that's the change everyone else is having problems with.. its the fact that i'm finally living for myself..

So I encourage you all to do journal, write yourself, your family, your children, you neighbor a letter whether you send it or not is up to you.. but you will be surprised the thing that come out while you are writing and expressing the inner most feelings that you have.
Its scary.. and insightful..

I'm determined to make this work.. I've live my 33 years for everyone around me..I am a 33 year old woman who has never gone away alone in her life. I've arranged a weekend getaway to a women's retreat in the end of april and my family is flipping out because i'm going off alone.. but its something that I know I have to do.. I have to live my life before its to late and I find myself sitting back thinking..what the heck have I done??

So now we've got our new bodies.. these new bodies do something magnificent.. they change our old minds.. and revamp our feelings and make us want to live.

3/10/04 - Down 71lbs and counting.. I am now at 189lb and feeling pretty good in terms of aches and pains however, I've had periods of lightheadedness so after a week of that and craving weird foods I wouldn't normally eat.. I broke down and went to my GP.. who found that I had fluid in my ears causing vertigo.. so now i'm on meds to dry up.. I've had a platue thats lasted about 4 weeks now.. i'm not terribly upset about it cause my goal was to get to 190lbs.. I've beaten out my goal at 189lb and honestly if I don't lose another pound i'm pretty happy with what i've lost so far since its made such a tremendous difference in my life. I've upped my water in hopes that I will start to lose again.. and my cravings although weird have been for healthy foods like spinach and liver.. which I had the other day.. My exercise has declined since I got the new pup because I frankly haven't had much time to exercise.. I'm going to start with my yoga again hopefully this weekend when my ears dry up enough not to cause me to fall over when I get into position. I am going to take a walk today during lunch and just get some fresh air and move my legs.. after I spent the entire day in bed yesterday.. which was good for me cause I got a well deserved rest.. so thats my update for now.. feeling good, hanging in there, and staying strong.

1/07/03 - New Year, New Life! thats my new motto :-). Here I am now going through my 4th Month of Surgery..and feeling GREAT! i'm now at 197lbs from 260lbs, from a size 30/32 shirt to an 18/20, from a 22/26 pants to 16/14, and from a BMI of 46.1 to a BMI of 34.9! My Blood Pressure is down and I officially come off BP medication as of January 30th.. I can do 45 mins of Yoga, I can walk up stairs without feeling winded, I can walk a mile without feeling winded, my energy level is tremendous, I can dance the night away and wake up the next morning and actually be able to get out of bed without a problem. I have bones I never knew I had in places I never knew exsisted. My butt actually hurts if I sit for 2 long.. cause I have no more padding.. I can buy underwear from Victoria's Secret.. and Don't have to feel weird when I go in there.. I have a new body, a new life.. and I feel so Great! its such a natural high.. :-)


11/17/03 - Official 3 months out as of tomorrow and 50lbs down. I can't complain. I haven't had any major issues other than pucking my guts out if I try to eat guacamole and a suden surge in hormones that keeps me teary eyed. Other than these things I'm doing fabulously. It looks like i'm gonna average 10lbs per month. Not bad I guess as long as its coming off I don't care how slowly it decided to leave me.

10/22/03- Here I am 2 months out and 40lbs down!! I never imagined it would happen so quickly. I'm happy.. although it hasn't been easy. At this point I'm pretty much able to eat just about anything without any major problems. I've even eaten bread without any major problems..but only like a bite or two.. I'm no longer sore and have been able to up my exercise by walking 3 times a week. I'm still having a problem eating enough but I am taking vitamines and trying to get in as much protein as possible. It seems as if I can eat good on some days then on other days I can't eat at all. THe only true problem is that 40lbs down and my clothing is trying to jump off of me.. so I have been handing it down to various people who I know need it.. :) but my closet is slowly heading toward the empty route.. :( so now i'm putting some funds away so that I can go shopping :) that will be real nice.

9/19/03 - I'm one month post op as of yesterday feeling better but still sore in spots. I haven't lost anymore since the begining but hope to continue losing in the future..

9/10/03 - Lost 26LBS so far.. i'm not in major pain anymore although i'm still a bit sore.. and unfortunately I do get hungry.. I haven't throw up yet but I chew the heck outta my food.. I am tired as I just started back to work so I find myself running almost on empty, i'm hoping this feeling will eventually go away and i'll be back to normal.. i've decided to up my protien maybe that will help me with the tired feeling. I have been able to drink water but not as much as I use to and I get horrible heart burn occasionally.. Eating wise i'm doing okay.. not eating much but doing alright.. Hope that the weight loss will continue and that I'll be feeling more energetic soon.

8/24/03- Well I'm back.. in pain, in pain pain pain... First few days were horrible.. i have a very high tollerance for pain and I have to say that this was the worst experience of my life.. The pain was undescribable even with the morphine being kicked in. Now 7 days latter its not as bad, but it still hurts and i'm tight and sore. I just want to stop hurting.. but I guess its going to take time.. Right now.. I'm not sure if this pain was worth it all.. however, I did lose 11lbs and that is with the swelling still in full swing..Maybe in a few months when i'm better i'll think differently.

8/3/03 - Only 5 more days to go till surgery. I've been way to busy to even think much on it. Honestly I just want to get it over with. I'm tired of the wait, i'm ready to get this over with.

8/6/03 - Well I just realized that there is very little information on the VBG out there in terms of personal website of other's who have had the surgery and succeeded or not, whatever the case maybe. So now i'm on a personal mission to connect with others who have sites detailing their VBG experiences. I want to compile a list of sites and add them to my sites link pages. So if you're reading this and have a site please please send it on to me.

7/25/03 - Well I went to the new surgeon who does only VBG, but after meeting with him and his staff and speaking to a friend whose had that surgery. I have decided to go through with it as opposed to the RNY. So now I have been reschedule for
8/18/03. Hopefully it will actually happen .. because i'm starting to lose faith here..

7/14/03 - This process has now become a soap opera/drama. I should write a book about how not to get WLS. It will begin with the words "Make and appointment to have it done..." Turns out my Dr. has graciously decided to resign his position and leave everyone hanging. I'm so frustrated I contacted a new surgeon who has scheduled an appointment for me on Tuesday at 5pm and i'm hoping that all goes well and I will actually be able to have this darn surgery done. I'm stress out and so is everyone in my family with the on again off again deal as are the people I work with. The one thing I am thankful for is that I didn't have the surgery on the 2nd as originally planned. That would have left me with no Doctor who could do the followups on me the prospect of that is scarey.

7/7/03 - Just got a call from my surgeon's office my new date is July 30, 2003. Hopefully it will go through since its a pain to schedule coverage at work and care for my daughter etc. I'm trying to keep optomistic but it hard after having been reschedule twice, once due to insurance and once due to a Doc's Emergency. I'll keep my finger's crossed that this will go smoothly. At least I'll be home for my daughter's Birthday in September which is what was most important to me. And I'll be able to celebrate my own birthday.

7/1/02 - BAD NEWS! MY surgery was CANCELED once again! Now I'm in limbo because I don't have another date yet. Turns out my Doctor's Father became ill and he needed to go attend to this Family Issue. I'm so stressed I only had a few hours left to go! and now I have to do this waiting all over again. I have a mix of feelings from being sad to being sort of relieved that i'm not having the surgery tomorrow and I will have a bit more time to prepare. Hopefully I will hear from my surgeons office by next week and will be given yet another date. How FRUSTRATING!!

6/24/03 - Well I don't have that much time left approximately 8 days left. I'm nervous and anxietious and I didn't realize it until I went for my blood test and pre-op on Monday. I sat in the hospital waiting room and my stomach just churned the entire time and I feel like crying. I can't wait for this eek to be over with and I'm just hoping that it goes without incident so that there is no delay. I don't think I would be able to handle another delay. I've been trying hard to eat light this week but it doesn't seem to be happening. I'm so nervous That I haven't really paid attention to what i'm eating. Well thats it for now i'm excited and ready to go.

6/4/03 - Sent my offical review/appeal letter yesterday at 2:00pm.. today at 3:30pm I was offically APPROVED!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy.. I have all sorts of feelings and thoughts running through my head and of course I had to have a good cry after the call from my surgeons office.. A special thanks to my Prime Care Dr. Debra Daunt and to My GYN Dr. Harold J. Sherrington.. they both went far beyond the normal help of Doctors to help this happen for me and I so appreciate it. I'm so siked..

5/20/03 GOT DENIED!! so now i'm preparing my appeal packet and i'm waiting for the doctor to finish my letter. I have 180 days to appeal so i'm not in a rush. I figure it this way I will be there worste nightmare until I get the approval I need to live my life to its fullest. I'm actually not as upset as I thought that I would be. Just a minor set back. The denial letter says that I have not dieted for 6 months during the last two years. Like most of us I've dieted all my life! if I knew six months was all it took to get approved I would have never dieted prior to my decision of getting this surgery. So now I have to fight the insurance company and try to get this thing straightened out. Wish Me Luck.

5/6/03 Well I got my date it will be June 11, 2003. I'm just hoping now that the insurance will approve without any major issues since my company just changed insurances. I'm looking foward to this and counting down the days actually 36 days till the surger.. scary but worth the apprehension. I see my new life looming up ahead. Turns out that Dr. Smego was great! he in no way shape or form said I absolutely had to do the band. He did tell me that he prefered the band but it was entirely up to me. He's pretty good and made me feel very comfortable. I have been letting myself eat freely something I have never done before in my life. I figured I can at least have one month without having to think about dieting or food. I just hope and pray that the insurance doens't deny. Wish me luck.


3/21/03 After my visit with the Nutritonist yesterday who happens to work for Dr. Smego I became a bit hesitate with even continueing with Dr. Smego on this surgery. Her attitude seemed to be that of.. well... Dr. Smego will decided which operation is best for you... Honestly I want to be able to have some control over which operation I have done. I keep reminding myself that the Nutrionist is not Dr. Smego. IF I do keep the appointment to see him however I have decided that if he pushes the lap band I will simply have another doctor preform the procedure.

3-20-03 OK well I will be visiting the Nutritional Consultant today and handing in my Dr. and Psyc evaluations to the Surgeons office immediately after that. I have my appointment with the Surgeon Dr. Smego on 4/22/03 which seems so far away. Now that i've made this decision I just want the time to hurry it up and move so I can get this part of my life over with. I will continue to update my information as time goes on and I get closer to my date and beyond it. This place is incredible the amount of support here is awesome. For anyone looking to do this this has got to be one of the best places.

Well after about 2 years of trying to decided and giving myself last ditch efforts at weight loss I have decided its time for me to move on with this.

I'm married 32 years old with a 7 year old daughter. I've never been thin not ever in all my life and really never had an issue with my weight in and of itself. However, my health has seriously declined and I find myself having difficulty walking and moving around. I am 5'3 and weigh 280lbs (on a good day).

This has/is got to be the most difficult decision I have made in my life..

Wish me luck.