chrisgraves

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Feel like I should be writing an update but not sure what to say. 

Things are moving along well for the most part.  I got sick yesterday for some reason.  After some discussion with some lovely people on the boards I believe I took my pills to quickly and without enough water.  It caused major foamies and the dry heaving triggered the need to move my bowels.. Yup that was not a lot of fun.  But if I know that now I can avoid that behavior.

Still loving my Zumba, all thought the teacher I really liked got a new full time Job and won't be able to teach at that school any longer.  (Darn no competition clauses)

My local support group is gearing up for the 2011 Walk from Obesity.  While I've never done any fund raising before I kind of volunteered.  I never would have had enough self confidence to show up to the meeting let alone take over a function in the past.  Hopefully I will do well.  It's certainly a new challenge for me.

Other than that I've had the desire to start running two donation clinics at my office that collect items for 2 local shelters (Vet's and battered women).  It's kind of a weird place to be, little things that I never would have had the courage to do before I"m noticing I start taking steps to accomplish.  Who knows maybe I'll have enough courage to finally take the steps to switch careers.  Which has been a back ground though for so long.  Being over weight for so long drained me of some much, not the least of which - my self confidence which I'm slowing building back.

Today was my 2nd check up with my Surgeon since surgery.  My blood work except for my ALK is looking good.  My ALK has historically been high since prior to surgery.  At this time the doc has me scheduled for a Liver Sonogram (tomorrow AM) to make sure nothing wonky is going on.  I'm not anticipating anything as I was diagnosed with Fatty liver over a decade ago. It's going to take some time to get "better".  She also indicated she is pleased with my weight loss to date. Which was a relief as I was a bit nervous about how she would respond since I had that 4+ week stall back in Feb/April.  (I am my harshest critic.)

Then to top off the day I received many complements on how good I looked today.  I had rummaged around in my closet this morning and tried on some "new to me" items that I'd picked up at Savers a bit ago. I looked professional, presentable and the colors were spot on for my skin tone.  LOVE IT... And on top of that I think the whole outfit cost me 12 dollars.  (Laughing to the bank!!!)

Thursday is my 6 month appointment with my surg.  Sigh...  I'm nervous that she's not going to be pleased with where I am in my weight loss.  it's only been a 60lb loss since surgery date, while a 90lb loss since I started this journey.  Taking into account the One month of meds where I had no loss I only average about a 12lb loss a month.  Why would I be nervous, cause last time I went I got the feeling that I was not living up to expectations.

I know I'm doing everything right but my body metabolism is so whacked out from all my previous dieting it's fighting hard to keep the weight.

Oh well, no point in borrowing trouble...  I'll just have to wait and see how she reacts.

Yesterday we went to the first Cook Out of the season and first since my Surgery in Oct. 

I was able to wear a super cute sun dress and saw people for the first time in six months who boosted my ego by telling me how lovely I looked.  But the best part was, which was absolutely amazing feeling, not to feel compelled by the food.  Sure I ate but I wasn't self consious about my portion sizes or hiding in the corner eating.  I had 1/2 a burger (sans roll) and 3 yummy meat balls, 3 wavy chips with hummus, a few of cubes of cheese w/ some grapes and for dessert a scoop of lovely tri-level cake that was mostly cool whip! w/fruit all over a 4 hour period. 

About 1/2 the people there knew that I'd had surgery.   So it was really an amazing day and feeling to feel truely NORMAL. 

....something that I've gained in Spades since my surgery.  It's not just about the weight I've lost because I certainly wasn't this confident when I was this weight previously.  It's the feeling of having control over myself and my eating that gives me inner strength, I think.

Today I woke up early (for a Sat) and popped off the Zumba class.  This may not seem like a big deal but I don't usually try anything/place new without a friend for support.  I was introduced to Zumba a few months back by a friend in my Support group.  I've been going ever since and really enjoyed it.  On the weekends I usually walk with a walking group but today I was unable to get together with them.  But since I wanted to work out I looked for classes in my area.  I found a Studio not to far from my house and this morning I went!!! with no friend network.  I walk in paid my money and started the class even though I was late and was unfamiliar with their routines.  In the past I would have apologized profusely and walk out, saying that I'd come back another time, that's assuming I'd ever made it in the door.  Instead I watched for a minute then started in jiggling and sweating in front of a HUGE F****** Mirror with a bunch of women I've never meet.  I screwed up the steps and tried to stay out of peoples way but damn did I get one hell of a work out.  

The realization that I had the confidence to do this alone is amzing!!!!  That's not something that can measured on a scale.

and lost 1.2lb!  Hooray for me.  I was thinking that even with watching the calorie intake the sweets I've consummed would really throw a wrench in the works.  But I was keeping up on my excersice as well.  Now all that candy will go away for a year and I can practise my Zen Yoga for future battles with Mini-cadburry eggs.

Easter dinner was an odd one:  My grandmother fell while getting ready and had to be taken to the hospital as she used her medic Alert line to call for help.  Which meant my mom (who was hosting) spend the day with her.  I got the phone call asking if I could come down early and help my dad set up.  Luckly I was mostly ready as all my baking was done. 

We pulled it off all things considered.  My mom makes lists so I just followed it the best I could and we put out a pretty good spread if I do say so myself.  All my family actually tried my Quinoa Broccoli & Cheese bake.  It good pretty good reviews considering my cousins don't like broccoli (Learn something new about people every day).  I loved it and since it was for me to eat that was really matters....  LOL  NOM nom NOM leftovers!!!!!!

I've been fighting a migraine for 2 days now.  Sigh...  All I want to do is curl up in a ball but there is work to be done and protein to be consumed. To be honest, I"m having trouble getting in my liquids and protein.  The meds are heavy duty and kind of throwing my off my schedule.  I'm trying folks but Damn this suck. 

I suppose on the Up side this is only my second bad migraine since surgery.  That's two in almost six months and considering I used to get them multi times a month this is a major improvement.  I've also been able to reduce my daily control med down from 120mg to 20mg.  Today I'm feeling like maybe I need more but I think it's my allergies that are causing the biggest reaction and not much is going to help that. 

Well at least it stops me from looking longingly at those mini cadbury eggs.  LOL Thank goodness for small saving graces/

Sigh....  Well Cadbury mini eggs are my FU***** Nemesis.  I had my surgery just after Halloween, then there was Christmas and Valentines Day; NO problems.  But Easter candy specifically the mini eggs are beyond YUM.  They are a complete "O" food for me.  The rest I can do with out.  But these I'm having trouble saying no to. 

 I try to avoid them but they keep showing up at the communal candy bowl at my office.  Which is right next to my cube, courtesy of my cube neighbor.  Office politics doesn't allow me to move said bowl.  I just have to Zen Yoga my way past the damn thing.  
 
Eventually, I have some .  And, Yes, I add it to my food log... I'm nothing if not accountable.  My food/head doc said be a conscious eater and allow myself the treat on occasions that way I don't over indulge and I don't feel guilt for it.  As guilt is a useless and paralyzing feeling which will lead me to feel like a failure and can be detrimental to my overall goals.

So a treat it is...  pop those little eggs one at  a time, roll that little sweetness around my tongue.  Crack the hard shells with my molars and suck off the shards.  Then just let that center melt it's ever loving bliss down my tongue.  Sigh.. I've got it bad.

Sigh.... 5 more days and they will be gone for another year.  I need strength!

LOL...
I've been doing ZUmba for a bit now and walking at lunch 1.5mi.  I've recently rented a Work out DVD by Jillian MIcheals.  "Banish Fat Boosting Metabolism"  My goal was to increase my heart rate over the course of the day.  (Which it does! IN spades.)  By the end of this workout I'm litteral dripping on my living room floor during the cool down.  As I strech out my Hamstrings I feel like my head is a leaky faucet.

Since I'm only renting the DVD I've got a find the cheapest outlet to purchase it.  I'm pretty confident I'll be keeping this in my work out rotation.  It's a bit hard on my knees with all the jumping but most of the bits I can modify if it gets to painful and I still get my heart rate up threw the roof!!!

March ended up being a bit rough.  Everything just tumbled into one another.  Starting with my period, then a MASSIVE UTI.  The meds for that caused Bacteria Vaginosious and then a Yeast Infection.  Which then brought me right back to my period again.  So it's really not that surprising I had a 4-5 week stall due to all the meds.

It seems to have broken now.  For that I'm greatful. 

During that time I made sure to log all my food, water and exercise.  I even bought a Heart Rate monitor to make sure I was burning more than I took in.  Which I was.  My body was just taking the time to tighten up.  My legs are getting twiggy and my arms are looking better.  Now if the belly could just move a couple of inches on the tape measure again I'd be thrilled. 

But I"m getting there.  Little by little. 

Saw my PCP who was thrilled with my results so far.  He did some blood work so I'm waiting to hear back on those #'s.  Hopeful everything will be in order.