cherri33

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

 

One year ago today my life changed.  I’ve lost 80 pounds and wear a size 10-12.  It took several months for me to be able to say that I was glad to have had the surgery, but I certainly say it now.  How has my life changed?  Yes, I’ve lost a great amount of weight, but the mental change has been the most remarkable.  I view myself so differently now.  Almost as “worthy,” for lack of a better word, to have a voice and viewpoints.  I’m more confident and think about things from a different standpoint.  This new point of view bleeds over in all aspects of my life and that’s wonderful.  My health is so much better as well.  No diabetes, high blood pressure, clumsiness; and I’m not so tired all the time.  I still have GERD, but it’s well controlled.

 

Am I afraid of gaining the weight back?  Of course!!  I watch my weight carefully, not obsessively, and stay within a three lb. range.  I stopped losing rapidly at about 9 months, so I finally started working out.  I hired a personal trainer to make sure I got to the gym and have been going all summer.  I have definition in my arms and legs and my clothes fit better.  Hopefully, once school starts, I will continue this habit.  Believe me, the cost is well worth it.

 

I still have to watch snacks and sweets.  I also don’t get enough protein, so I expect my next round of lab work is going to begin to show it.  I have a friend that I met last year at the hospital and she helps to keep me motivated to stay in line.  Thanks, Charlene; but I recognize that this is MY journey and MY responsibility.  I will do better.

Even though I love my new body, I'm still scared that it's only temporary.  I've lost and regained so much in my life that it's hard to believe that it won't come back.  I gained 3 pounds the first week out of school (mid-Mayish) and keep going back and forth between 145 and 147.  I'm still a carb fan, but my appetite is better and my portion sizes have increased.  Last night I had a chicken breast and salad and was able to eat the entire breast.  My goal weight of 135 is looking like a longshot.

I did finally get myself to the gym and have a personal trainer, Donna, to keep my workouts interesting.  I've seen her 10 out of twenty times now and enjoy working with her.  There is evidence of muscle definition and I like my new butt.

My youngest daughter and I will be going on a cruise on June 27th.  I even bought a REAL bathing suit!  It looks really good on and there's no skirt.  :)  I'm looking forward to being in pictures where I'm not hiding behind someone or something.  I'm hesitant about cruise food though, and hope I don't gain any weight. 

My sister is having plastic surgery on July 8th.  She's lost weight without surgery and will have breast reduction and a tummy tuck.  I'm still thinking about trying to have the same in December.  We'll see.

New goals are to continue working out, eating better, more proteins, more water, better vitamins and b12 shots.

We completed finals last week, grades are posted and graduation is Saturday.  I'm FREE!!!  I'll teach two night classes this summer but will be home with my daughter most days.  This brings the challenge of snacking during the day.  Since carbs feel so much better than other foods, Chex Mix and I have gotten to be very close friends.  Still, with 79 lbs gone in 9 months, I'm feeling great.

At 143, I'm now in a size 10.  I can't believe it.  This time last year I was just beginning to think about this procedure and looking at the before/after pictures.  I never would have imagined that I would be here looking all "skinnified."  I've had a checkup with my internist and a stop-by (for pink-eye) with the local doc.  Both couldn't believe the difference.  They each had on these big, goofy grins that did more for my self image than their words ever could.

Now I catch myself looking in the mirror after a shower and pulling the loose skin this way and that, trying to see what I'd look like with plastics.  I'm hoping I can find the funds to do it this coming Christmas, but time will tell.  In the meantime it all can be hidden except for the turkey gobbler hanging under my chin.  At least in the winter there were turtlenecks to be worn.  My arms and legs don't look that bad, but my boobs are past my waist and my stomach/back has A LOT of skin.  I'd love to go from a DD to a nice, perky C.  At the moment I'm ecstatic about being in a large top.  From 3X to L; that's quite an accomplishment!!!

I'm so glad I had this surgery.  My life has definitely changed for the better.

 

I'm going out of town for the next couple of weeks.  Restaurants, buffets, conference food-- how will I do?  I now weigh 146-- 11 lbs from goal weight.  I don't want to blow it. 

Today I'm shopping for size 12s.  Whoo-hoo!!

Today is 7 months.  I weigh 150 lbs.  The weight is coming off very slowly, but it's still coming.  I have 15 more to go to hit my goal weight but I've already hit my doctor's goal.  I'm frustrated because I have 14's in my closet and I really need 12's but I don't want to buy right now because I have two trips comind up in a few weeks and I may be smaller.  Talk about a GOOD problem.  :) 

January 8, 2009

 

I weigh 155 lbs.  Twenty more to go to reach my goal of 135.  I weigh less than I have in over 15 years.  WOW!!  I’ve been on semester break for almost a month and my friends at work were amazed at how I looked.  Needless to say I hit the Christmas sales to have something to wear.  Size 12 pants and L tops!!!!!!  J

 

On the negative side, I’m losing handfuls of hair each week.  Luckily I have(had) very thick hair so it still looks okay.  I don’t have the problem with dandruff that I once had either.  Still, I hope it slows down.  I take Biotin now so maybe it will.

 

Today I went to lunch with friends and for the first time I was enjoying the company and not thinking about what I was eating and how it was making me feel.  I’ve been able to drink more too.  I’m still having problems getting in enough protein.

 

My youngest daughter is so excited that she can hug me around the waist and her hands overlap.  Before surgery, her fingers barely touched.  She does tease me about my flapping arms though.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get that fixed one day.

 

I had my annual physical Dec. 31^st.  No more cholesterol problems.  My blood pressure is 107/70.  Everything looked good and my doc was so happy that I had lost so much weight.  I’m still not exercising but….  I will.

Sixty pounds to date.  (162)  I'm in a size 14/L.  It's funny, now that I've lost so much weight people think I look older.  Maybe it's the "turkey gobbler" on my neck.  Plastics anyone???

Losing this weight has changed my internal confidence clock.  I'm not ashamed of the way I look so I carry myself in a different way.  I tend so smile more, speak more and not get paranoid if something doesn't go my way-- ie: "He/she is treating me this way because I am a fat lady."   I don't even need a daily nap like I used to.

The carbs are still a problem.  I loved them pre-surgery and that hasn't changed.  My friend Charlene who had surgery a week before I did won't let anything sweet pass her lips.  I need to be more like her.  I keep telling myself that one little bite won't hurt, but I know it keeps the addiction going.  Right now it's not a big problem, but I need to keep an eye on it because it will become one down the road if I'm not careful.

I love my life and am finally looking forward to the holidays.  :)

Some of my closest friends have been walking this journey with me.  They know about the surgery and have closely followed the weight loss and health issues.  Others are just beginning to remark about how good I look (minus 51 pounds) and are wondering how I’m getting the weight off.   I’m surprised at how fast I go through clothes sizes.  I’ve only got one size left in my closet and then it’s on to the stores.  Luckily there are several consignment shops in the area.

 

It’s funny, but I can tell I’ve lost weight in my feet.  My shoes are not fitting like they used to!!!  I have a doctor’s appointment this week.  I’m anxious to see how my labs look.  I expect a big drop in cholesterol, and hopefully my sugar.

 

Buying blue jeans may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me, it’s a major accomplishment.  I haven’t worn blue jeans in 15 or so years because I thought they made me look BIG.  As someone who is large in the front, but has no back, they were always too tight at the waist and too baggy in the rear and legs.  But… I found a pair that fit.  Of course, losing 45 lbs. helps too.  I’m trying not to purchase any new clothes and just wear what’s in my closet, but I’d forgotten how outdated my old clothes were.  I’m finding jackets with shoulder pads!!!  Telling myself that I deserve a few new things is much better than telling myself I deserve a few donuts.

 

Most days I drink a cup of coffee, eat some yogurt and a couple of chicken nuggets.  This is about all the food I can take in besides my vitamins and other meds.  On days when I sit around the house, I eat more.

 

The skin in my arms and legs is becoming very loose.  I know I need to exercise and I have the things to do this (weights and a treadmill), I’ve just got to find the will power.  Seventeen more pounds and I’ll be at a weight that I haven’t seen in over 10 years.  J

 

9-14-08
Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better.  My inability to hold down certain foods turned into an inability to hold down anything except liquid.  I called the doctor and at his request came in.  He scheduled an endoscopy (9-5) where they found a stricture that was between the stomach and intestine.  It was closed.  Two hours after the procedure I could tell a difference.  Since then I have been able to eat.  I'm still not hungry most of the time, have difficulties getting in all of my liquids and protein, but am definately doing better.  I weigh 185 lbs.