Cherilishious

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And I am FANTASTIC! The surgeon's office had the last check-up before my annuals and they said I lost over 70% of my excess so I am a complete bariatric success. They said that I look great and I am full of energy which is what they want to see. Even though I feel like I'm failing at this, they seem to believe that I've definately got this in the bag. I'm down to 185 officially. Granted they weighed me at 192 with sneakers and fully clothed, but they subtracted off the average weight of those items though. Audrey said she was proud of my success, and how I should be too.

YAY ME!

I feel great. I workout everyday. I watch my calorie intake. I increase my water. I watch my protein. I can feel a six pack getting more defined under a slight layer of fat and a massive amount of skin.

BUT

The DAMN NUMBERS ON THE SCALE WON'T MOVE!

I'm stuck at 199 for at least 2 weeks of being a complete fitness/health freak. I took a break from working out starting in november due to scheduling conflicts. I started back up in the new year after I got over that sickness that jumpstarted a decent weight loss.

I shouldn't complain too much though. Right now I'm wearing a men's medium wife beater and I bought a swimsuit in a Large, instead of the plus section. But seriously, how do I make the numbers on the scale change...?

It's an obsession.... please help!

ONEDERLAND

So I want to lose 12 lbs before Christmas. It would be the best gift to myself I could ever think of... to weigh less than 200 lbs for the first time in my adult life. I don't want to be disappointed though if I can't acheive this feat. Let me know what you think. That would mean I would need to lose 12 lbs in about 14 days. Is that even possible?

... would I have believed anyone who said that jogging is fun.
... would I believe that you can reach the top of the stairs and be able to hold a conversation.
... would I have listened to anyone who thought that a half a sandwich could fill them up.

... WOULD I EVER HAVE BELIEVED ANYONE WHO SAID I COULD BE A MODEL.

Yet, here I am, a week away from not 1 but 2 fashion shows in one evening. Invited to both, not out searching for either. I am completely floored. It's all I can think about and it's still a shocker. I can't wrap my head around this at all. I've lost 110 lbs so far. I have a personal goal to lose 50 more. It doesn't seem so far away.

This weight loss has become an obsession. I dwell on counting calories, exercise, and tallying my lost weight. This surgery has totally consumed every thought in my head that isn't preoccupied with caring for my daughter. They say men think about sex every 10 seconds or less. I think about my meals and calculating calories and analyzing excercise every 10 seconds or less. I obsess about my excess skin and how ugly it looks. How the hanging skin is more disgusting looking when it's emptied than when it was filled with fat.

Don't get me wrong. I love the change. I love myself. I walk with my head up and I smile at the world that despised me for my size. I just find myself criticing things I never thought of before. I worried less about these things when I was fat. I didn't care then. Now I can't stop thinking about it. 

So I went to Dr. Caruana's office today for my 4 month check up. I'm having some difficulty with solid meats (baked fish and chicken) so Audrey gave me a list of additional ptions for protein. Maybe it'll help with my hair loss. Then we discussed my iron and vitamin D deficency. I'm supposed to lower my dosage since it bothers my stomach.

I lost 80 lbs since April 20th. OMG is it possible? Thats like amazing!

I've been keeping track on here, but to hear it from a doctor's mouth I almost died. She was impressed with my progress and motivation. I told her about my workout schedule and my daily eating routine. I must be doing something right since the only suggestion before leaving was protein alternatives that might be more mild to my stomach.

AND...
AND as I was buying my protein from Mark in the cafe area - all of those who got their procedure done by Synergy Bariatrics- I was the first to sign up for their annual fashion show. We all get our "15 mins of fame" to wear a beautiful dress and walk a runway looking like super-amazing models with our before picture shown in the background so everyone can see our progress. I think that is amazing. I will be having so much fun with that, and I hope I see some of you guys there too!

Message me for details about that fashion show if you're interested I will email the info to you

The doctor released me to start a fitness routine 5/30. But he doesn't know I've been power walking at least a 1.5 miles a day in less than a half hour on my lunch break, and a bit more leisurely when I'm home on weekends. So Since saturday I've spent every other day weight training, the off days are aerobics, and I'm still walking 1.5 miles a day in the evening. So I build up a good "workout sweat" twice a day now. I have lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks. It should be falling off quicker than that right? I mean "THE BIGGEST LOSER" contestants lose like 10 lbs a week without the surgery. What am I doing wrong? I'm starting to feel like I did this all for nothing. Granted my clothes are baggier, but I don't want to weigh more than all the guys I know.

Please help!

I went to my general practitioner's office today as a follow-up to their approval for the surgery. My doctor has never been nice to me, and has been trying to get me to have this surgery for YEARS. It's been 30 days, and I lost 30 lbs. My doctor was proud of my progress. and...

I actually seen a smile on my doctor's FACE!!!

I've been heavy my whole life. My dad has taken the forefront trying to use the "make fun of me to inspire me to lose weight" approach. I thought it would all be over when I got the surgery and already lost some weight. Only a few hours home and he made a comment  "What, you gonna be the first person to GAIN weight after having this surgery?!?". I blew it off cuz arguing with my dad is pointless, he's always right and everyone else is always wrong. Today he came home from work, and I was making low-fat cream of chicken soup with double strength milk and he says "What the hell? Are you gonna be the first person to GAIN weight after gastric bypass?!?!"

OMG please. I went into immediate kick ass mode. Stomach still in complete pain. I screamed "I went through a major surgery that has serious risks to lose weight, DAD, I'm not gonna gain weight. Besides gaining weight IS a possibility." It all turned into a screaming thing. Ending with him giving all of us the silent treatment.

Maybe I should try to rough it at home, alone, with just my daughter around me. at least I wouldnt be in such a hateful environment.