Charleesmom
11/30/06 - I've been thinking along time about having WLS. I'm scared to death of it. I work with a few people that have done it and know of a few others. Everything seems to have gone fine for them. So I'm finally getting serious and really looking into it alot more. And then I find out a local passed away on saturday from having WLS surgery. And I feel it pushes me back again. I'm a single mother of a 5year old girl. Her father and I divorced when she was 4mo old. Bad marriage. He was into drugs and never worked and has anger control issues. Not one person in his family has anything to do with our daughter. In fact, was told by a few of his siblings right after we seperated that they will not consider her family and they will never want anything to do with her. And warned me several times to watch my back. In fact, strange things were happening to my car and house after we seperated. Anyway - that was 5 years ago and we've all moved on. Again, her father and his family do not and will not have anything to do with my daughter. Therefore, this worries me extremely that if anything ever happened to me, the courts will automatically send her to him. With me out of the picture, I know him and his family would want her and take her. I know they'd even fight for her. So I worry about taking that step, going into surgery that actually might just be taking me to my death. I worry so much for her. I have already arranged a will and stated who I would want to have guardianship over her but it's all actually up to the courts. I'm not really sure what I weigh as the scale has been my enemy for quite some time! I'm guessing around 265. I have remained single since my divorce. I feel that I have to do this WLS if I ever want to meet someone and hopefully get married again. I am scheduled to go to a seminar on Dec 6th. I really want Dr. Sudan to do the surgery but I am a smoker and he wont even consider it until you have quit for 6mo. There is a new Dr. here, Dr. Forse, who is willing to work with smokers. Not really sure what his process is. I know we still have to quit but dont think it's the whole 6mo first. But he is new as of Sept 1 and it really scares me anyway, let alone going to a new Dr. I just had a prescription called in today for a new pill to help with quitting smoking. I will start that tomorrow. So, hopefully I can get Dr. Sudan to work with me and still do the WLS in the summer instead of making me quit 6mo then starting the process. I guess my next post will be after Dec 6 when I attend that seminar.
12/06/06 - Tonight is the night for my seminar. I went to my Dr. office 2 days ago to get my years medical records to turn in and my Dr. left me a note that she highly recommends Dr. White as he has the most positive outcomes from this surgery. That was a set back. I thought I knew just who I was going to and now am rethinking everything. So tonights seminar is w/Dr. Sudan and January 3rd seminar w/Dr. White. Also found out a local passed away after having WLS 1yr ago and she passed away from carbination. That seems weird to me. So trying to research that. I'll update tomorrow after the seminar tonight.
12/07/06 - The seminar last night was very informative. One of my concerns was leakage so it did put my mind at ease with that. Dr. Sudan has not lost any patients to leakage. At first, I was really considering the RNY but am now leaning towards DS but the whole gas and many bowel movements a day make me very very leary of it. So still not sure which way to go and if I even want to do it. I was very impressed w/Dr. Sudan but don't really like the location of the hospital. I will attend Dr. Whites seminar on Jan 3rd and see what he has to say. His location is much better. But most important is the surgeon. Not location. I will update most likely after the 3rd.
1/2/07 - Dr. Whites office rescheduled his seminar from tomorrow night until Jan 10th. I've really been having 2nd thoughts on this whole thing. It just scares me. But more and more people I know are doing this and they seem to be just fine. I just wonder if my luck is bad and I'll be the one that ends up not making it. Someone told me that she don't recommend I do it as she does not think I'm mentally ready for it. If I do do it, I think I'm going to go with the DS. Although - I'm not too fond of some of the side affects. Apparently it makes a person very gassy. That's just great! If I were to even meet a man, i'm sure that alone would run him off. How can a person live w/that. So I really need to do some more thinking on that and if that is really the way I want to go. That part don't sound to appealing but I've learned that the DS has a better long term outcome. Still trying to quit smoking. I was smoking about a pack a day. I had totally quit for like 2 days but now smoking anywhere from 1 - 4 cigs a day. Which is still good but need to quit completely especially if I decide to move forward with WLS. Anyway - that's about it now. I'll post more after the 10th.
1/17/07 - Went to Dr. Whites seminar on the 10th. I had been interested in having the DS and Dr. White does not do that surgery. He only does the lapband or the RNY. Dr. Sudan said the DS is much more sucessful than the RNY and Dr. White says the opposite so who do you believe? I have decided to go with Dr. White and have the RNY. My primary Dr. office is sending over my med records today and I'm dropping off all the paperwork tonight that i had to fill out. I'm still very scared but feel i really need to do this for a better quality of life with my daughter. And the other night, my daughter called me Chubby and she's 5. I don't ever want her friends to tease her so I really need to do this. I guess I will update more later as I learn more!
2/2/07 - so i went to meet with Dr. Sudan on the 31st. Wow! I weigh more than I thought I did. I think it's mostly because I have quit smoking now so I am eating more than I should. My weight on 1/31 was 277 and they said my height is 5'4 which I think they are wrong! LOL - I've always been 5'5 (like 1 inch really makes a difference). I about died. In highschool, I graduated weighing 120lbs... and i thought i was so heavy then. I look at my pics and wished i looked like that again. hopefully I will after my surgery. I really liked Dr. Sudan. I think I am going to go with the DS surgery. Still not sure that I want all the side effects at work. That will be hard to deal with. So I am going to call a few people that he gave me phone numbers for that have had the DS and find out just how bad it is. It just does not sound very pleasant but it sounds like you lose more weight and are more able to keep the weight off. I also don't want to experience the "dumping" syndrome with RNY. But we'll see. He said I will need someone to stay w/me for 2weeks after the surgery since I'm a single mom. Well - that's just not possible. I have noone able to do that and also, no room in my tiny little shack for anyone to stay. My daughter and I are already packed in there like sardines the way it is. Anyway - he is now sending in the paperwork to insurance. I have no idea how long that takes but will update when I know more. This still makes me nervous/scared but don't see any other alternative!
2/16/07 - Dr. Sudans office called yesterday. I have to say, I was not very happy after that call. She said that before she even submits this for approval, they want me to do a 6month weightloss management program. WHAT??? I was not very happy at all! I was hoping I could have the surgery shortly after Easter. I figured that would not be realistic but I never thought it would be over 6months before it would happen. It really pushed me back! I was not happy about that at all! I don't know where or what I'm going to do from here. Right now - I'm just really mad and will dwell on it for awhile. I will stay posted and advise what is going on. The reason I'm so mad is because I work with and know of so many people that have had WLS and none of them had to do this. And most of them went to the same Dr.'s office. Alot of my friends/family are not happy with my decision to do this. They are very worried and scared and don't want me to do it. And I am also scared. I have prayed for guidance from God that He will guide me in the right direction. Who knows - maybe it's a sign???
3/9/07 - Talk about "signs" I'm thinking maybe there is a huge one flashing in front of my face and I'm too stupid to read it. When I was going to go to Dr. Whites seminar, it had gotten postponed. I received like 3 phone calls telling me it was rescheduled and each time, I told them I hadn't received my packet yet. They all said they would mail it out. I never received any of them. When I went to the seminar, they didn't even have me listed on the attendee list. And I still had no packet. They had me sign the list and got me a packet that night. Then I decided to go with Dr. Sudan and as noted above, it didn't work out the way I had hoped. So - I then called Dr. Whites office right away and asked them to submit my info to insurance and they said they would. I just spoke with my insurance company today and they said they have not received anything yet from Dr. Whites office. Is this my big sign flashing right in front of me that I'm not catching onto??? I'm too scared to call Dr. Whites office because I had left Roxie 2 messages w/in a 2week period and I never heard back from her. So I called again (3rd time) and they asked my name ofcourse before they transferred me to her and when she answered, you could TOTALLY tell that I was inconveniencing her. She acted really put out and that I was bothering her. I just have bad vibes about the whole Immanual Hospital location. I guess what I need to do is get my head out of my A_ _ and figure out what I'm going to do and just stick with it. I do want to go with Dr. Sudan so I should have just bucked up, done the 6mo weight managment program crap, and then moved on from there instead of trying to cut corners and get another location to approve it right away. One good thing out of this whole mess - I've now been smoke free for almost 9 weeks. YEAH! But ofcourse, there is a bad w/every good. I don't know for sure how much i've gained but know that it's alot... i can't fit into any of my jeans anymore. pretty much reaching a big depression so this needs to move along faster than what it is!
4/10 - Good news! Got home from work yesterday and there was a call from Immanual Hospital. I called them back and spoke with Sally. She said I had gotten approved from insurance for the RNY. So - as of right now - apparently that's the way I'm going. RNY at Immanual. I'm actually surprised I got approved. With Creighton saying they wouldn't even submit my info, I just thought it would come back at Immanual with saying I do need to do that 6mo weight managment program. I'm not so thrilled with having to do a 10day liquid diet. I will have to talk to the Dr. about that. A week ago, i found out that the insurance company had received a 13page fax from Immanual to get approval and they submitted everything accept for my subscriber number so they didn't know who it was for. 4 days later, they received a 15page fax w/all the correct info and insurance thought it was a duplicate, so they closed my case entirely and didn't review. I was so bumed when i found that out because they said it was going to take another 4-6 weeks as they have to resubmit everything. And I actually found out a week later. That's weird! They must have put it on some kind of a rush. Anyway - so now I have to schedule my psych eval and also have a letter of medical release sent over to Immanual. May 2nd at 3p I'm scheduled to go in and meet with Dr. White. I assume a surgery date will be scheduled after that. I'm so excited. It will be wonderful to tie shoes, cross legs, have my daughter sit on my lap comfortably and so many other things... clean yourself comfortably after going potty and so on.... skinny people just don't realize what a struggle some of those things can be. Well - I will post more as I learn more! Stay tuned! :)
4/16 - Psych eval is scheduled for April 25th and meeting w/the Dr. is May 2nd. I can't even imagine when the surgery will happen. I wish it was something very sudden as I'm starting to get nervous all over again. Yesterday - I finally figured out how to upload pics into this profile. I hated it. I absolutely hated it. I never see pics of myself. It was very hard for me. I hate how large I've let myself get. I will definately be more careful after my the surgery. It's like I get a second chance so I'm going to work hard at keeping the weight off! I've made a wonderful friend, named Dan, on this website. He's doing wonderful! I think he's lost about 39lbs in 2 weeks. I know I won't be as lucky as I don't think a woman can lose as fast as a man. But I'll sure push for it! Way to go Dan! I bet that feels great!
4/18 - received a call yesterday from Dr. Ashley Walters office asking if I could make it in this am for my Psych eval as they had a cancelation. So I went in. I then called Dr. Whites office to see if I could move up my appt w/him from May 2nd. They are able to get me in April 25th. They said my surgery date should be within 3 weeks after that. YIKES... reallity is setting in.. I'm very nervous... I just wish I was past the surgery part. But it'll be here before I know it. I went to the Dr. office last night. I about fell over when I got on the scale and seen those horrible horrible numbers. 288 - yep - you read it right! I couldn't believe it either... What a heffer.. I have no idea how I let myself go like this... It'll be wonderful to finally lose! I don't know what a realistic goal is to set for weight. I would love to be 120 but that would mean losing at least 168 lbs... is that possible??? anyway - i'm all excited now and also all freaked out now.. i just have to make sure i'm healthy enough to make it to charlee's 1st dance recital on June 2nd...
4/20/07 - i got home yesterday from work and there was a message on my phone from Michaela at Dr. Whites office wanting to schedule my surgery. She mentioned wanting to do it on May 7th. OH MY... I tried to call her back but she was gone for the day already... I tried to call her this am but they said she dont work fridays. So - I'll have to wait until Monday. I kind of want to wait until May 21st cuz charlee's last day of school is the 23rd so i figured it would be easier to take care of her then when I get out of the hospital as opposed to having to try to get her up and ready for school and off to the school bus. But everyone says I'll be fine and should have it on the 7th. So I left her a message and said the 7th would be fine. So - I guess we'll see Monday. It seemed like forever before this would get here and now it's here and it's going sooooo fast!
4/30/07 - well - 1 week from today, i'll be having my life changing surgery. Right now - I am feeling about every emotion you could imagine. They want me to do a 7 day liquid diet. Originally they wanted 10days but said with my size i could do a 7 day. That made me laugh. That must mean i'm on the smaller side! LOL! When I weighed in thursday at the dr.'s I was 289. That just sickened me. It just keeps going up up up and i don't feel like I'm eating any more than usual. In fact, I feel like I'm eating less now. But - I met with Roxi on friday for the education training. What to expect before, during, and after surgery. Got a shopping list on foods i need to stock up on. Or should I say liquids. I can have creamed soups that are low fat/fat free and the same w/jello's, puddings, and yougurts. I can have cream of wheat thinned. So - I went shopping on saturday and spent $106.00 on all this stuff i'm not looking forward to living on for the next week. After surgery - i'm okay with it because my stomach will be much smaller but right now - it's going to be hard. I have to just keep reminding myself of the outcome and how wonderful I will look/feel later on. The hospital is using this new thing, can't remember the name of it. It's like NQ or something like that. But it hangs around your neck and has these thin wires that has holes in it and they insert it into your sides into your fat and into the abdomin and it releases pain medicine. It's supposed to be better for you than the morphine as the morphine can make you sick i guess. It's experimental right now. She said they might do that to me. Anyway - I had a little bit of an emotional moment this morning at work. I was so sad and so depressed and I didn't really know why or what was wrong with me. I don't want to do this liquid diet thing and I feel overwhelmed with information on take this, take that, don't take this and here's all the vitamins and blah blah blah. I feel like i have information overload. I told Roxi it was too much to remember and she said everyone is that way. I got a packet so that will help. And we are also having a Food Day here at work today and today is the day I'm supposed to start my liquid diet. That was poor timing! hehe... But - I really want this to work for me and I want to be very successful so I will do what I have to do! I go in tonight to my regular Dr. for the history/physical exam. They'll have to do blood work and i'm not really sure whatever else. But - one week from today will be my "re-birth" so they call it.
5/4/07 - today is friday and i started my liquid diet on monday. This has been a really tough week. My poor daughter! I've been so cranky and crabby. I haven't hardly been eating, or should I say drinking anything because these creamed soups about make me throw up. I can't stand yogurt. It gets my gag reflex going! Drinking chicken broth is like drinking chicken fat. It's soooo gross! I feel so hungry, week, and severly tired. Last time I felt like this, I was pregnant. I was such a zombie then and I feel like one now. I don't feel like I'm functioning correctly. I feel abset minded. I feel like I can't even think straight. I'm so ready to throw in the towel. But - I only have till monday and it'll be surgery day. I don't recommend this diet thing for anyone. I recommend going to a different Dr. that doesn't do the liquid diet. The orig Dr. I wanted to go to, Dr. Sudan at Creighton, doesn't do the liquid diet. But I didn't want to wait the 6mo he wanted me to wait. I wish I would have just waited and gone w/him. This liquid diet is absolutely horrible! Anyway - I wanted to post something quick before monday. I will get back on as soon as I can to make an updated post! Wish me well and keep me in your prayers!
5/10/07 - Hello everyone! Can you belive it, I actually made it thru. I am just now home from the hospital. I'm so tired and exhausted. I really need to rest. Everyone told me there was no sleeping in the hospital but i didn't really pay much attention. But they were definately telling the truth. I had 2 different machines that were beeping all the time for some reason or the other. My IV machine and the leg pump things. I apparently had a reaction to the morphine and it cause an anxiety attack in recovery. I guess the whole day they just kept pumping me full of morphine. That was horrible! Very Very Very bad first day. But - I lost 19lbs on my 7 day liquid diet. Then gained 4lbs in the hospital being on the iv fluids... but i'm ready to be on the downhill side of things. I'm so tired now so i'm going to go rest. I will try to post more later. God Bless All!
5/15/07 - It's 423am and having a hard time sleeping. Not really sure why. Last night was the first night I slept in bed. I think I did pretty good. My incisions are really starting to itch which i think might be a good thing. I think that means they are healing. I still can't hardly stand to see the big one where the drain tube was. That one is so gross. I got a scale from charlee on mothers day. I weighed myself and it said 265lbs so that means a total of 24lbs down from 289 but 19 of it was the first week before surgery on the liquid diet. I am so tired of this liquid diet. Almost everything makes my gagger go. I can't hardly even have anyhing. At this point, Slim Fast is making me gag anymore. I hate the protein powder. It's making the texture so disgusting in things. I go to the Dr. on wednesday and really excited. I hope he moves me up from liquid to puree. I probably wont even meet w/him though. It'll probably be Roxi - his right hand man (woman). Through all of this, I think I have spent a total of 2 minute with Dr. White. When he came to see me in the hospital, he was in and out of there soooo quick. I think it's bad that the Dr. doesn't have any time to spend with his patients. Dr. White might be a good surgeon but I would have rather gone with another Dr. that has time for his patients.
5/28/07 - Today is exactly 3 weeks since surgery. Per my scale this morning, it shows I've lost 31lbs. Not bad! I'll take it. I'm finally just noticing it a little bit in my clothes. At first I was only noticing it in my feet, toes, and ankles. That was frusterating. But finally - can see it a little bit in my clothes. Yesterday - my 14year old nephew made a comment that he could really tell I was losing weight. That meant alot since he is the only one that's said anything. He's so cute - about a week after the surgery - I seen him and he felt sad for me cuz he thought the surgery didn't work for me. He thought I would come out of the surgery skinny. He thought it was an immediate thing. It was so funny. So it was nice to hear him say yesterday that he could really tell I've lost weight. At my Dr. appt I was able to skip pureed foods. They moved me right to soft foods. I can eat eggs of any type, cottage cheese, string cheese, egg drop soup and they said i can have tuna, chicken, very thinnly sliced lunch meat and make sure to chew chew chew. I am not able to keep any of the meat down. I get this pain in my back and I know it's coming right back up. One day I had a scrambled egg then took a drink right when I was done eating and it all came right back up. I think it was becuz of the drink. That is the hardest part for me is not drinking like I used to. I'm a very thirsty person and have always drank alot. It's hard to get used to not chugging and not drinking w/meals. Someone said to me, "Oh - I see that this surgery basically turns people into a belemic" (sp?) and sometimes that's how I feel. I've thrown up quite a bit actually. I don't know what I'm doing wrong as I'm eating slow and small and really chewing it up. I wish I could move onto normal foods. I'm getting really sick of this same stuff i'm eating over and over. Yesterday at Grandma's memorial get together, it was really hard watching everyone eat all the good food and I had nonfat cottage cheese. But I did have a pickled egg. That was good. Charlee wanted me to go to her last day of school for her track and field day so I went and they also had grilled hotdogs/hamburgers and I just wanted a bite so bad. But I just sucked away on my water! I go to the Dr. again on June 17th I think. I don't think my food will change too much. I know then I can start to have peanutbutter and I think certain types of fruits and veggies. So - we'll see. Anyway - I will end this now and am going to try really hard to figure out how to put a ticker on here.
6/12/07 - had a follow up appt. w/my Dr. today. I'm on my 5th week I believe. I have lost a total of 40lbs. When I read other posts, it's disappointing bcuz most have lost more. But I just need to work harder. Eating is still very hard for me. Anytime I eat anything, i just feel all puky and blah... He showed me a 1/2 circle w/his forefinger and his thumb and said that it should take me a 1/2 hour to eat that much food. So - i think that's my problem. Eating too fast. He said my goal weight should be 180. That really floored me. That is alot more than what I want it to be. I really don't know what the realistic weight should be. Maybe 150-160. I don't know. I need to change my ticker as I know 140 is not realistic at all. I found out today that Sedgwick will approve my Salary Continuation for a total of 6 weeks so I will be going back to work on monday. Today is tuesday so i have a few more days left. I will hate going back to work. I love being home. Although I've been so lazy and low energy. So maybe work will help pick me back up! I'll update when I have more!
7/5/07 - Day after 4th of July - oh yes - i'm extremely tired today. Went to my brothers get together for the 4th. It's better going to functions now since my restrictions have been lifted a little bit on food. Although - I can not live off of what they told me until October which is the 5th month. Soft foods, mashed taters, refried beans, cottage cheese.... i'm so sick of all of it... so i've strayed a bit. I still make sure what I eat is soft and shouldn't hurt me and I don't have much of it... just enough to get a little sample of something different. I took a few bites of pork chop at my sisters house and it was really tender but I apparently still did something wrong. It came back up. So i'm still struggling with some things.. I might have mentioned this in my earlier postings and don't remember but someone said to me that you really have to have patience with this surgery. And patience is something i've never had much of. It's so hard for me to eat so slow. And to not drink during and afterwards. That is the hardest part for me. But - i've lost 51lbs now which feels very rewarding. However, still wearing the same 22 size jeans. Everyone has commented on how they can tell in my face. So - apparently i've lost 51lbs in my face :) my pants are fitting better. I was squeezing myself into a 22 when it should have been at least a 24. So at least my circulation isn't cutting off the oxygen flow to my brain 
My next appt is Sept 11th so hopefully all restrictions will be lifted at that time. I need to do better at working out. All I'm doing right now is walking. I need to tone up my legs and arms... and work on the abs! For some reason - smoking has been on my mind lately. I'm wanting to start up again but won't as I don't want to get hooked again. Oh - I also forgot - the other night we went to the fireworks show in the next town and charlee (my 6yr old daughter) actually was able to sit on my lap and we were both comfortable. I couldn't believe it. I even whispered to her that I enjoyed her being able to be on my lap. Before - my stomach stuck out to far and didn't leave me much lap for her to sit on. I could have just held her all night. My little angel! I love her so much! Anyway - that - I think - was my first great moment after losing this weight. That same day - my brother - who usually insults me - gave me a compliment and told me that I really looked good. That was amazing in itself. So that was definately a great day for me! Today is thursday - I have 1more day of work then have the next 2 weeks off. I am so looking forward to that. I am hoping to spend most of the time with charlee at different pools and waterparks around the area. That's all I have for now. I will post in a month unless if something happens sooner.
7/26/07 - lost 61lbs to date.. between 2 1/2 and 3 mo.
8/9/07 - 2 days ago was my 3mo anniversary for WLS. I have lost 69lbs to date. I should be really excited about it, but instead, feeling a little frusterated. I am very happy and feel heathlier but I am still wearing the same size 22 pants. Yes - they do fit much better and I'm actually getting oxygen to my brain now, but come on - 69lbs - I should be down at least 2 pants sizes by now. I know they say not to compare ourselves to others but it's hard. I read this profile where this lady was the same weight 289, the same size 22, she had her surgery 2 weeks after I did, and she has already gone from a 22 to a 14now. That is so frusterating for me. I think my weight loss might be slowing down some also.
9/7/2007 - today is 4mo anniv since WLS. Weighing in at 211 which makes it a 78lb weight loss. But - still wearing size 22 pants. I can fit into some 20's. But still feeling very frusterated I'm not losing in my mid section. But I do feel more comfortable and my selft esteem is a little bit better. Eating is getting better. Not throwing up as much as I was. It is so hard to learn to eat slow. As many times as I've gotten sick, you'd think I'd learn by now. But sometimes I forget and eat to fast then suffer the consequences. Drinking is getting better. Before I had to sip sip sip. Now I can take a bigger drink. I have an appt coming up on Sep 11th for my 6mo check up w/my Dr. We'll see what he says about my progress. I'm sure he'll be disappointed in my as I have cheated alot. I'm still only bupposed to be on mashed potatoes, refried beans, cottage cheese, eggs, etc... You can only live on that stuff for so long. It was too hard. I've experimented alot. For lunch, I usually eat WW meals, Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, etc... Usually skip dinner. But I have tried bread and rice and neither one worked out for me. I can eat salad fine. No probs there. I believe that's all I have to update. I'll post more after my appt on the 11th.
9/13 - went to my appt on the 11th. Again - it was extremely quick w/Dr. White and actually was pretty quick w/Roxi also. Everything went well. Their scales says i've lost 77lbs but my scale says i've lost 81 lbs so we'll go by my scale.. hehe.. but actually - he did say his scale is 5lbs off so most likely mine was correct. But they did say that my B-12 levels are low. They should be 800 and mine is 385 so I'm going to start the B-12 shots. Still wearing size 22's but look and feel much better in them. Could probably fit into a 20 now but not ready to go shopping yet. I have gotten lots of compliments so that's a big ego booster. Who knows - maybe someday soon I'll feel ready to get out there and start dating. But I think that's all I really have now to post for now. I will stay updated!
10/16/2007 - Just over 5 months and weighing in at 200... that's an 89lbs weight loss. I just noticed that i've only lost 8lbs in 2 months. That is very disappointing for me. I don't think I'm going to make my goal weight. It's sure changed alot since I first began looking in on this. At first - my goal weight was 120. Then up to 140. Then the Dr. said to make it 180 and I said "oh hell no - mor e like 160" well - now i'm thinking i'll be lucky if I make it to 180. I still want to shoot for 160 though. I know I won't make my 100 lbs weight loss by 6mo goal though. That's 11lbs I need to lose in 22days. And since I lost 8lbs in 2 months, I don't see that happening. Bummer! I finally went shopping saturday and bought a pair of size 18pants. That's down from a 22. Which also is disappointing to me. I thought losing 89lbs I would go down more than 2 pants sizes. I can fit into a 16 but would be miserable by the end of the day so i just bought an 18 for now. The eating is much better. Still have to go slow and really chew but it's better than it was. I really get alot of compliments. It really bothers me when people call me skinny. I'm 200 lbs... i'm by no means skinny. I know they mean well but it almost embarrasses me. My daughter always hugs me and calls me her skinny skinny mom. She's the only one that can get away with it. I love it when she does it. I do feel much more comfortable out in public. I hated to go anywhere, see anyone. Now - i'm not so much like that. I wish I could go shopping. Times have been really tough in our household. They've taken away our overtime the beginning of August thru the end of the year and I now have this new car payment that I got in May so we are just really struggling to get by. So, unfortunately - there are no funds for me to get any clothes. My sister said because i'm still wearing the same ole big size that I look bigger than what I am. So - I guess shopping will have to wait until the New Year and hopefully our overtime restrictions will be lifted and I can start working my butt off again and go shopping! Well - I believe that is all the updates for now. I'll try to stay posted!
11/15/2007 - a little late posting my 6mo news... that would have been on Nov 7th... but I'm currently at 192lbs which makes it a total weight loss of 97lbs so far. Didn't make my 100lb goal but I'll take it. I finally went out and bought a pair of 16 jeans.. that felt good. I don't have much money so can't really afford to buy any new clothes at all but had to get at least 1 pair of pants that fit right. Before I was wearing a size 22/24 jeans so this really meant alot to me. I almost cried in the dressing room. I got alot of compliments. Oh yeah - actually - my little sister had a bon fire one night, actually, it was November 3rd, and I wore my new smaller clothes, did my hair and make up and was feeling great! My daughter came out of her room, looked at me and said Hubba Hubba, then she gave me a thumbs up and said how good I look. She said my tummy was alot smaller. She's 6 and truely the best girl in the world. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful little miracle that she is. She is truely the best little girl in the world! I love her so much. What would I ever do without her???? anyway - getting off track here... so then I went into the local pub to pick up a friend of mine and everyone was just in awe when i walked in. I got so many compliments. Then after a couple drinks, we headed up to my sisters bonfire/party she was having. And again - a ton more compliments up there. I was so excited! I really enjoyed that night. If only there were single men at this party. Not many guys there and the ones that were there were all taken. I think I'm actually ready to get out there and start dating. But it makes me very very nervous. I told this friend of mine, Dan from ABQ who had also had the surgery in April that I had ran into 3 guys that were all very attractive and it almost made me sick that I was even checking them out and attracted to them. I couldn't make sense out of it and couldn't explain it to him. He said he understood what I was trying to say and he worded it perfectly. He said that before, I was so heavy and felt very unattractive and disgusting and thought that noone would ever be interested in me so why bother. And that was exactly it! Now - these 3 guys didn't look at me or give me the time of day by any means but still - I noticed them where before, I never even really bothered to look. Last saturday, I went down to the Kennard Firemans Dance and felt really good and was hoping that I could meet someone there. But, as usual, no such luck. Not really sure how to become an outgoing person and break out of my quiet little shell. I need help there. Anyway - I think I've rambled on enough now... I will try to get pics taken and loaded soon. God Bless all!
11/30/2007 - How wonderful this day was!!! Finally made the 100lb mark. YEAH YEAH YEAH... It felt really good to make 100lb weight loss finally. Just under 7 months. Dec 7th will be 7mo.. Wearing a size 16 instead of the 22/24 I was wearing. I think I still look big. I don't know if this will make any sense but I feel alot more confident than before any of the weight loss but yet still feel just as big as I was before. When I see pics of myself, I don't see the 100lb weight loss. I hear that we are are own worse critics and I'll always see myself that way. But how will that help when it comes to dating? I have looked at Yahoo Personals and alot of the guys say one thing they want in a woman is self esteem. That leaves me out! I was actually really surprised to read that so much. But I haven't really been able to afford to go out shopping so mostly still wear my big stuff. Maybe after I can go shopping (if that time ever comes) maybe I will feel better. I get alot of compliments so it's not that it's lack of people noticing. It's just my own delima with myself. Anyway - to get off the depressing track I was on - here are some updates on me after the surgery so far as far as medical. Apparently - RNY - causes you to become "backed up" (sorry to be so gross but hope it helps someone) so I have to take Myrlax and what a difference that made. I didn't feel so bloated and miserable. I am B-12 anemic and very low on iron. My calcium levels are very low. I had a Bone Density Scan (Dexa Scan) and I have bone loss in my spine. They said I'm not Osteoperosis yet but am Osteopenia. I meet with my surgeon Dr. on December 11th or 12th (can't remember which) and I will discuss all that with him then. So far - I have only spoken to my regular Dr. But other than that - I feel great! That's all I have for now. I will post after my appt. with the weightloss Dr. in December. If I don't get on right away - Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!
1/07/2008 - HAPPY NEW YEAR! Today - I am weighing in at 179. It's been awhile since I've seen those numbers. Feeling great! Had my dad's surprise retirement/birthday party last friday the 4th. He's 65 now so decided to retire from construction. Good for him! I always hated him working out if the freezing cold or extreme heat. Anyway - the night of his party was a HUGE ego booster for me. Seen some guys he worked with and I hadn't seen them since I got married back in June of 1998. They all know my ex-husband and am glad we are no longer together. Anyway - it was great to see family/friends that I haven't seen for such a long time. The compliments just kept rolling in all night long! It really felt good. It was a really fun night. A few weeks ahead of that, I went out with my friend Val. Went to the Arlington bar and seen a bunch of people I hadn't seen for a long time. Another night that was great for my ego. I had 2 different guys buying me drinks. One I knew, he was married, so I knew I was safe there. The other, I didn't know. He was cute but I just stayed away. I am really starting to feel confident in my looks, but still have great insecurity issues. I met this guy thru the Yahoo Personals. Very handsome man. Very nice. Our first meeting, he gave me a hug and quick kiss. Me, like a child, couldn't get in my car quick enough and get out of there. I was even embarrassed on how I reacted. It's been so long since I've dated. Divorced over 6 years and then was married in June of 98 so it was before even then that I dated. It's been a very long time. I didn't know how to handle it or what to do. What a big idiot I am! Anyway - so I get scared and tell him that we should take a break for awhile because I still have some issues with myself that I need to work out. Can you believe it??? How stupid I am! Anyway - the meeting w/the Dr. was pretty uneventful. He made a remark that my Dexascan wasn't good and to redo it in 6mo but that was about it. He had me confused with someone who had a stricture which I don't even know what that is. I just know it wasn't me that had it. Then he said my goal should be 140... What the ???? When I asked him before, he said 180 so I changed it myself to 160. So as of today, I'm like 19lbs away from my 1st goal of 160. Then we'll see what we can do about the 140. I'd love it but my weightloss has slowed down sooooo much! And I'm really able to eat alot more than before. That scares me. I try to back off. But I often feel hungry. My vitamin levels are still low. My B-12, they want 800 and it had gone down to something like 300. It's up to 500 now but they want it higher. I'm very low on Vit D and the calcium. As far as sizes, I went from a 44DD in bras to a 38DD.. which is exciting. My shirts range anywhere from an X-large to a 2X. They really run different. Jeans, I am wearing 14's and 16's. You know how it is. It all depends on the brands. I would just love to go in and cut off all that extra in the mid section of my body. I'll never have the money to be able to afford that. Oh but how I would love to do it. Well - anyway - I think that's all the updates from here
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7/20/08 - I'ts been awhile since I've been on. Not much new to post. I'm currently weighing in at 166. 6lbs till my first goal. The weight loss is almost non-existant now. But to be honest, I can't say that i've tried all that hard. I do exercise much more than I did before WLS but not near as much as I should. I'm good about watching what I eat. I try to count calories and eat healthy and snack healthy but do stray once in awhile. I can pretty much eat anything now. Too much sugar still makes me sick but other than that i'm good. The last couple of times we had burgers on the grill, I can only eat 1/2 of a burger. But I'm good with that. I don't need to eat the whole thing. I don't usually eat anything with it. I can take big gulps of water now and that don't bother me. Chinese food on the other hand still makes me sick. I can't figure that out. Maybe they use too much suger in their sauces or something. I'm wearing 12's in shorts/jeans and a large sometimes xtra large in shirts. This surgery has been a huge ego booster for me. It's helped my self esteem alot! Now - just waiting for Mr. Right to come along and sweep us (me and my daughter) off our feet. Haven't dated at all. Haven't really been asked too. I have had different guys hit on me but they were only looking for a nighter and that's it. You know - you can just tell. And - I'm not looking for that so I don't even bother with them. One day my prince will come. Well - I'm going to sign off now. I will post again when there's something interesting to tell.
5/11/09 - Good Lord it's been awhile since I've posted! Maybe it's because I'm ashamed of how I let myself go. Dec 31, 2008 I weighed in at 150lbs. Feeling thin and great! I then went thru a bad heartbreak and unfortunately turned to food. I am very disappointed in myself. I am now weighing in at 167lbs. Still very much below what I started at but moving in the wrong direction to meet my goal. I was hoping to get down to 140 and maintain. The weather is finally warming up so I am hoping to get outside and get more exercise. I am cracking down again and trying to focus on SmartOnes, Lean Cuisine, and Healthy Choice meals again and stay away from the sugar and bread. I remember the days when they made me so sick. I wish it was still the case. Anyway - wish me luck back in my struggle of weightloss!
9/28/11 - i'm what, about 4 1/2 years out and it doesn't get any easier. Constant struggle. This is a lifetime ordeal. I managed to get back up to 180 and then got a grasp on it and am now back down to 157. It's something we will forever have to pay attention to, stay on track, eat healthy and exercise forever! I am now in size 10 jeans! Yay! I see above I noted that I wished Sugar and Breads still made me sick. Not sure what I was talking about as sugar still makes me sick. I think what I meant was I can have a little of it but remember when I couldn't at all. I can have a little, unfortunately, but too much makes me ill. Bread on the other hand, wish I couldn't have that! I have too much of it I think!
12/19/11 - Long time since post but wanted to jump on and update that December 5, 2011 I went in for a tummy tuck and a breast lift with an augmentation. I was so scared before the surgery anticipating alot of pain but it really wasn't bad at all. I had surgery on Monday and was off my pain meds Wednesday. I'm 2 weeks out and things are starting to look better! I have alot of swelling. I guess it takes a good 6months before you can see the true results. I'm so excited and can't wait but i can tell now that i will be pretty satisfied compared to before. I now weigh 152. Have to keep working at keeping the weight off. If anyone is thinking about having a tummy tuck and breast work done, I highly recommend it.
