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I am back .... again!  I have not used OH as much as I thought I might.  I belong to another couple of forums but I really want to reach out to the people in Oregon that can be of support to me locally here in person.  I am going to try to get to know some people here I can meet up with at some point.  I did got to the first meeting of the NW WLSFA group back in August up in Seattle and there were some really nice people there but it was only one day and I had to get back home so no connections made that trip.

Being down 125 pounds now I am so very happy and I love my life now.  I exercise regularly going to yoga and walking a lot to keep this weight off when I go into maintenance.  I have been sitting at this weight for a couple of months and I am trying to focus on getting back to protein first, at every meal, and stay on track.  My plan was so restrictive for the first 6 months it has been hard to go back to being restrictive after being able to add in some veggies and fruits and things... but, I know what works and I am going to do my best to stick with that!

Its good to be back here and I am looking forward to meeting some folks on here!

I am back.  I took 2 years away from all this because I felt like I just could not go through with it after all.  I am scared of so many things, scared of failing, scared of my life changing, scared of giving up food I think I am in love with, scared of being someone I wont recognize when I look in the mirror.   I had everything set for surgery except losing the required 5% of my weight.  I went in at 309 in 2010 and all I was doing was gaining weight.  Now, at 324 and on the brink of type II diabetes, I realized I need to get on board with this and do something.  I called the Dr. today and made an appointment to go back in and do something good for myself.

I met with the nutritionist today at the bariatric surgery center.  I had not been in to see her for 6 months... after the time she told me she did not feel I was ready for this and I responded by eating 4 cupcakes and not going back.   I guess she was right!

I have a lot of work to do but I am going to start tonight by packing my lunch, getting my breakfast ready for in the morning and just getting myself ready mentally to start this process.   I am not going to beat myself up for taking a break.  I am ready now and I am going to get back up on this horse.... well, wait a minute.  I am not sure I was ever on the horse.  I was getting ready to mount the horse before and I stopped.  So, I am going to get on the horse to start with this time and I am not going to look back!

My plan is to have some eggs for breakfast tomorrow with some veggies in the eggs and a slice of Dave's Killer Bread (the light one).    Lunch I think will be some meatloaf I made over the weekend with a big salad or some broccoli and maybe a little bit of mashed potatoes.  Cant have the full meatloaf experience without mashed potatoes.

Dinner will be chicken with more salad/veggies and a starch that is yet to be determined.   The dietitican told me to eat roughly the same amount of protein, veggie, and starch at all three meals so my blood sugar can be more stable and I am sure she is right.

I am really finding it hard to stop drinking any liquids 30 minutes before I eat and then for 1 hour after I eat.  I love drinking water and that has been one of the biggest struggles. 

I saw the therapist today and that was good.  Not sure what his recommendation will be at this point but he said he would call me within a week and let me know if I need to come back or I am cleared  by him to move forward. Had to answer about a million questions like I was taking the SAT test with those little bubbles...sheesh.  But, worth it in the end.

Tonight I went to my 2nd orientation which is a presentation by the surgeon,  Dr. Read,  and learned all about the program and the actual surgery.  He showed us pictures of an entire surgical procedure and that was tough to look at and think "that will be me they are doing that to soon" but I managed. I did not pass out or even feel nauseous so I thought that was good!

My dietician appt. was cancelled last week so I dont go there until next week.  I am enjoying the "last supper" phase of this process and trying to make sure my head is in the right place before anyone cuts on me :-)

Next up on the agenda, see the surgeon for a one on one and meet with the dietcian. Once those two things are done my paperwork is sent in to insurance for pre-approval and we will see what happens there.  I am hopeful but I know this could be my holdup although it should not be since I meet their qualifications.  I have a letter of support coming from my PCP next week so that will hopefully help.

I am on my way!

This week I meet with the dietician.  I have been keeping my journal of everything I have been eating and let me tell you, it is soooooo clear why I am overweight.  I have kept a food journal before for WW and other diets but this time, I guess because I have all this on my mind, it seems more obvious where my problems are.  Well that, and I am not trying to diet just yet.  After this holiday weekend is over and we are home I can start in.

I talked to the psychologists office on Friday and have that appt. all scheduled.  This is moving really fast and I still have not made up my mind on a procedure for certain.  I am leaning heavily toward the RNY just because I really feel I need that extra incentive to change my eating.   However, it is a lifetime change that could really be difficult to live with so still working on sorting that out.

So dietician this week, therapist next week, surgeon and 2nd orientation meeting the following week.  If all goes as I suspect it will, I will only have my 16 pound weight loss standing between me and surgeons scalpel!

Today was the first offical day of my journey.  I am scared, I am nervous and I am hopeful all at the same time.   I had my first weigh in today and met with the nurse to go over all the information and find out how this all goes and in what order.  It is still really hard to look at the scale and see 309 pounds representing ME.   I am so much more than just my weight but today it was sure weighing me down.

I am afraid to fail at this and I am trying to be as realistic as I possibly can be about how my life will be forever changed after the RNY or Banding.   Just not sure what to do yet.  There are so many pluses and minuses to each procedure.  Maybe after talking to the surgeon I will get a better sense of what to do.

I am trying not to get too excited yet or tell too many people since I want to make sure/sure the insurance is going to approve it.  I dont see any reason they would not since I am very well qualified! 

I meet with the dietician next week then the surgeon on Feb. 1st.   I am really looking forward to feeling better and being able to be more active and have a more full life I deserve.  One that is not food centric but fun and active.