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Jerri A. 23 years, 3 months ago

Kathy, Your post and picture struck me because you are so pretty, we are the same age, and I had many of those same fears about the lifestyle change. I loved to eat, but really figured out that I just loved to feel full. I was scared about all the changes, but I did get to the place that I needed a change, because the way I was feeling physically and emotionally wasn't worth it. The cycle of defeat started over every single day and my whole family paid the price for it. You are worth some changes in your life, whether they are with WLS or without...the hardest part is getting started, but there is more freedom on the other side. Feel free to email me if you'd like to "talk." Jerri Arnold

Jamie M. 23 years, 3 months ago

KATHY! No you are not crazy...you have a lot on your plate with that new baby and all. Maybe once you are not nursing and taking your meds regularly you will see things in a new light..Tell hubby to lay off that can't be helping. Just because you are not ready NOW doesn't mean you can't change it later if you feel ready...if not then thats your choice not anyone elses. So don't beat your self up and just enjoy your baby as he/she learns to walk and talk etc!

Teresa C. 23 years, 3 months ago

Kathy, I am sorry you are having such a hard time. My surgery is next week. I will be 50 in March. I remember going to my Doctor when I was in my 30's and discussing surgery. At that time the surgery was not as advanced as it is now. I too, have worries about the life style changes I will have to go through, but I have finally decided to change to have what I want. You still have a young family, you said you are still nursing your youngest. Your Hormones are probably still raging. Give yourself a chance for your body to catch up. I am sure it thinks it's starving when you try to diet, while still nursing. Think about it, I am no expert, but I think you (and your husband) are expecting too much. I know you have other issues to deal with, but take time for yourself and take them one step at a time. Ask your husband to be more supportive. Let him know how you feel, don't get mad and even, you will just hurt yourself. Be true to yourself. It's ok if you don't have the surgery right now, it is always there as an option when your are ready. Only you will know when it's time. Being pushed or constantly remined of your weight only makes things worse. When your ready, you will know it. Give yourself time to make the right choice for YOU. Best wishes, Teresa.

piperkc 23 years, 6 months ago

Hi Kathy Best of luck to you. Sometimes it is harder NOT to have this surgery, but you have to do what is right for you. "Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end, requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson A wish changes NOTHING; A decision, changes EVERYTHING "Don't ask for it to be easy, ask for it to be worth it."- Dan Kuschell "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will,they soon become inevitable." Christopher Reeves Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without it we can't practice any other virtue with consistency. ~ Maya Angelou "I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." ~ J.B. Priestly "Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth." ~ Katherine Mansfield I am convinced that attitude is the key to success or failure in almost any of life's endeavors. Your attitude - your perspective, your outlook, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about other people - determines your priorities, your actions, your values. Your attitude determines how you interact with other people and how you interact with yourself. ~ Carolyn Warner "Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives." ~ Author Unknown "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:2-3 Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it. Angela in Canada 406lbs BMI 63.6 -73lbs Post-op Dr Michael Grace Open RNY Life began May 16, 2002 I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears. Surely..I will heal you." 2 Kings 20:5

Sharon Neva 23 years, 6 months ago

KATHY~~ I respect your decision to not have WLS. Sometimes it takes more courage to NOT do something than to do it. Everything happens for a reason. Please don't think that because you've decided against WLS that you can't still come here for support and love.

Nell B. 23 years, 6 months ago

kathy, I'm so proud of you and for you making a good sound decision about "your health" and this surgery. I not a regular postee, but I'm a daily reader of the site...and I was thinking all night about posting my own update...(<64 lbs..5mos post op..exercising..looking good ...doing great..etc..etc) but the main thing that I feel has served me best is doing the pre-work and addressing "most" of the issues behind my "weight" and life issues. Even after all the identification, acknowlement, discovery and treatment for my depression and stepping out of the dark hole I had dug for myself...I still needed help with the health issues and really WLS found me ...I really wasn't looking for it...I never would have considered wls...but once I was clear of the overeating issues/and personal pain that I had buried and the physical neglect to my health and body, I discovered WLS. I'm a big big believer in "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" ... It's a simple statement that expresses my complete assurance that God is so gentle and kind that he does not overide "your will"...and when you are open and ready he sends his "angel of helps" to guide us to the next level....SO, again, I applaud you and wish you well in your search for good long-term health!

Tami D. 23 years, 6 months ago

Hi Kathy, Wow are you having a rough time! Some of what you are feeling is perfectly normal for a pre op. We all do it. But I think that you are one step ahead of a lot of people, in that you realize that your issues are not all going to be solved just by surgery. This is GREAT that you acknowledge this. The OCD can be controlled with medication. I think it is distinctly possible that as you get that controlled a lot of the rest of the eating issues, and the worry will calm down some. I would suggest that you go ahead and schedule your surgery for December some time. Then spend the next 2 months or so until surgery getting the OCD controlled, and talking to a eating disorder counselor. I think you are most likely correct in believing you NEED this surgery. Statistics show that even with diet and exercise, most people who lose gain it back. You don't need that. You need to lose and get on with your life. So I think scheduling the surgery, and seeing a counselor would really cover all the bases for you. I wish you could experience for a day how you will feel about food after surgery. You will still enjoy it, but you won't NEED a large amount to enjoy it. Nor will you WANT a large amount. I have had small tastes of even the forbidden stuff (like a Krispy Kreme donught I had today) and just that small taste has satisified me, it really did (as a pre op, I would have had at least 3 of them). Once you get the OCD controlled and have surgery I am SURE you will feel the same as I do and will be fine.. especially if you take advantage of counseling between now and then. Please feel free to e-mail me. I am here for you. YOU DESERVE A NEW LIFE, AND YOU CAN GET TO IT! REALLY... Tami

Wendy W. 23 years, 7 months ago

Kathy...my advice to you..."Give it up"...I don't mean quit trying, but give it over to God to handle for you! You sound SO stressed! Trust that if you turn it over to God, He knows what is best for you, and will see you through. I wish for you peace that you will know without a doubt what is the right decision. ~Wendy

Sharon Neva 23 years, 7 months ago

KATHY~~ From your post today it sounds like you're very emotional/scared/nervous/anxious... and that's NORMAL! You will survive this flood of emotions.... ~~WISHING YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY~~ May you always have an Angel by your side. Watching out for you in all the things you do. Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days. Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to come true. Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun. Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide. May you always have love and comfort and courage

MommaAngel 23 years, 7 months ago

HI KATHY I just want you to know that I am praying that you will have a quick and smooth recovery to the losing side. LORD BLESS