Brooke Spearman
June 24th, 2006
Jun 23, 2006
June 24th, 2006~ Hi everyone...well I am 12 days postop. I have been doing really well to, I might add. I havent experienced a whole lot out of the oridinary really..... I did kinda break down the other night, becasue I was really hungry-atleast that was what my mind was telling me, and I wanted to eat...Heck for like 15 years of my life I have used food as a comfort. If I was sick, I ate. If I was depressed, I ate. If I hurt, I ate....I mean and right now being on this liquid diet--it just kinda seems like I will never get to eat again. Which I know is far from the truth. But food to me was my comfort. Like an alcoholic, is alcohol..and a gambler, gambling. So yeah, it was kinda getting to me. One month ago, before the surgery there was nothing you could have told me bad about the surgery to make me think differently of it. I have read where ppl do have emotional issues with is and I wouldnt really understand, and I see it clearly now. But I keep telling myself-that I have wanted this for soooo long and I have waited and prayed, and my prayer was answered.....I know God will help me through this. I know-well I have hopes- of what the "new Brooke" will be.... to others it may seem like a small price to pay- but when you take someones comfortzone away from them. Its hard, its damn hard......INo matter how much I wanted this surgery, I never expected to to have such a "mental fight", lol....But on another note...I did get sick today! Well 1st off, I woke up 2day with diareah-nice, Right?...well Rickey and I went out and did a few things, I had come home and made me a bowl of tomatoe soup and crushed some crackers up in it...well I took 3 bites and I kept on....well about that time, I can start to feel the cold sweat, and the food backin up---then I say well ok- lets take a drink and make it go back down---bad mistake----I get sick! I had to run outside real fast and throw it up......FUN, I know, right ?! It feels sooooooooo weird...It is painful to.I know there are many more of those to come...espesially once I am on a regular diet and not liquids....I am already so sick of the yogurts, jellos, soups, puddings, crackers..lol...and its only been 2 weeks!!! I want some real food!! Thank god in less than 48 hours I can start on angel hair pasta,mashed potatoes, ramon noodles, I think tuna with mustard, pretzels and cheerios....give me a little more variety...that'll be good. I think when I can eat a little more, my emotions won't be near as bad...I took a pic of Rickey and I tonight and both of us can tell in my face that I have lost some....I dont think a whole lot by any means ...but enough to show in my face ..Maybe it will get my belly next :)
I took my staples out 2 nights ago, all by my lonesome, but it didnt hurt a bit! Ever since I will look down and notice my shirt being wet, the sites will ooooze every now and then--pretty nasty..but its all gravy! The pain is getting a little better. I only had one pain pill today-and that was here a little bit ago just to help me go to bed :) I walked alot today in stores...and it feels good to get out! I have a weird heavy feel in my belly, but it really isnt painful anymore. It just feels , well feels like a c-section did in a way--as far as the pressure inside me......
well i have wrote a book so I am gonna go on to bed..ttyl
I took my staples out 2 nights ago, all by my lonesome, but it didnt hurt a bit! Ever since I will look down and notice my shirt being wet, the sites will ooooze every now and then--pretty nasty..but its all gravy! The pain is getting a little better. I only had one pain pill today-and that was here a little bit ago just to help me go to bed :) I walked alot today in stores...and it feels good to get out! I have a weird heavy feel in my belly, but it really isnt painful anymore. It just feels , well feels like a c-section did in a way--as far as the pressure inside me......
well i have wrote a book so I am gonna go on to bed..ttyl
June 16, 2006
Jun 15, 2006
June 16, 2006~ Hi! So I am doing super well ! I feel really good today...I have no idea if I have lost weight or anything yet just b/c I havent weighed since before surgery...I go back next week to get a drain bag pulled out and then i will get weighed-so I am wanting to wait until then and let it be a suprise to see how much weight i can lose in a week....
Well I thought I would write a little about my hosptial experience....
Monday morning- I woke up @ 4am, I took a long hot shower-knowing it would be a few days before I could get another good bath.....we had a 50 minute drive to Doctors Hospital In Shreveport, La....When we got there and we were walking through the parking lot I remember telling myself next time I get in my car, I will be on my way forever!!! We went to the 2nd floor day surgery -that where they would get me ready for surgery.....The nurse took me back to a room and had me put on a gown and gave me a Valium for my nerves.....she asked me several questions and took my vitals ..My blood pressure was up just a bit b/c of my nerves....She took me into the bathroom and looked all over my naked nasty body to see if i had any rashes or anything -I couldnt have any on my stomache since its open....
so I felt so violated,lol I hate ppl looking at me! But I knew in my mind, she knows I am there to help myself ! Well about that time my mom showed up, her and rickey were the only 2 there during my surgery....about 7:10 they were there to wheel me back to the OR....I was crying all the way down the hall, lol...I was scared! So scared! I could tell rickey was upset to , and mom later told me that she cried to! awww she does love me,lol
I remeber the nurses talking to me in the halls an telling me I will do great and they would take great care of me...they were awesome. When I got in the OR ..they had me slide onto another table..and they were talking to me, while I was still bawling like a baby...one of the nurses held my hand and was wiping my tears and she was great -I dont remember her name , but I was glad she was there she was assuring me that they would take great care of me......anyone who was in there was telling me who they were and what they were there to do....when it came time to go to sleep, the anistesiologist (cannot spell it,lol) he bent over in me ear and told me everything he was about to do...he told me he can watch on the monitor all the meds going into my body how much it is working if I am waking up any....pretty neato...anyways, so he told he was putting a mask over my face and to take deep breaths into it and it would make me really sleepy, and then he would inject the anesthisa into my IV.....I remeber getting really tired and barely able to hold my eyes open....then I heard the nurse, Brooke we'll see you in recovery!
Recovery~ UGH HATED IT! First off, when I woke up, i felt something in my mouth....I realized it was a ventiliator and a bite block..I started trying to get the nurses attention by waving my hand and she came over there and asked me whats wrong and I pointed to my mouth ..she said is that bothering you? I shook my head, and she said squeeze me hand (2 c if i was alert) and then she told me the anes. would come in and take it off of me they had to page him......well i waited and waited and i finally reached my hand to the side and there was a table next to me and I started banging on it...next thing i knew they took the bite block out and i felt like i choked when the vent came out, ugh it was so bad!!!! then they wheeled me to a room....
as soon as i got to my room I had to Pee! I never had a catheter in me...cant beleive that..so the nurse came in and put a bed pan under me..I couldnt pee for nothing though!! It was so hard to push it hurt...the only pain I have had---YET---is a heavy feeling on my chest, like someone is sitting one it...its totally weird!! So I sat on the bedpan for well over an hour...just becasue I couldnt pee.lol.......well next time i had to pee I got my butt outta that bed....wow what a feeling!! I had some company that day but I slept through it....the next few days were ok....a little pain and discomfort, but I expected a lot more!!!!!
Of course my hubby stayed with me and after 2 nights my mom stayed with me the 3rd so he could go home to be with Lailah...My 2nd night there My Angel and Bestest friend in the whole wide world Leslie came and saw me (casey and Ryan also) I was super dooper excited to see them!!! yay I had company!
I hope and pray Loo has her surgery soon...so she can feel how weird this is,lol to eat a cracker and get full !! So keep her in your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mama and I came home on thursday and I have been doing really good....My mom has been such a big help to me the past few days, very thankful she has been here with me! I will update more when I have some more to write :) I hope you all have a great weekend and many kisses!!!
Brooke
Well I thought I would write a little about my hosptial experience....
Monday morning- I woke up @ 4am, I took a long hot shower-knowing it would be a few days before I could get another good bath.....we had a 50 minute drive to Doctors Hospital In Shreveport, La....When we got there and we were walking through the parking lot I remember telling myself next time I get in my car, I will be on my way forever!!! We went to the 2nd floor day surgery -that where they would get me ready for surgery.....The nurse took me back to a room and had me put on a gown and gave me a Valium for my nerves.....she asked me several questions and took my vitals ..My blood pressure was up just a bit b/c of my nerves....She took me into the bathroom and looked all over my naked nasty body to see if i had any rashes or anything -I couldnt have any on my stomache since its open....
so I felt so violated,lol I hate ppl looking at me! But I knew in my mind, she knows I am there to help myself ! Well about that time my mom showed up, her and rickey were the only 2 there during my surgery....about 7:10 they were there to wheel me back to the OR....I was crying all the way down the hall, lol...I was scared! So scared! I could tell rickey was upset to , and mom later told me that she cried to! awww she does love me,lol
I remeber the nurses talking to me in the halls an telling me I will do great and they would take great care of me...they were awesome. When I got in the OR ..they had me slide onto another table..and they were talking to me, while I was still bawling like a baby...one of the nurses held my hand and was wiping my tears and she was great -I dont remember her name , but I was glad she was there she was assuring me that they would take great care of me......anyone who was in there was telling me who they were and what they were there to do....when it came time to go to sleep, the anistesiologist (cannot spell it,lol) he bent over in me ear and told me everything he was about to do...he told me he can watch on the monitor all the meds going into my body how much it is working if I am waking up any....pretty neato...anyways, so he told he was putting a mask over my face and to take deep breaths into it and it would make me really sleepy, and then he would inject the anesthisa into my IV.....I remeber getting really tired and barely able to hold my eyes open....then I heard the nurse, Brooke we'll see you in recovery!
Recovery~ UGH HATED IT! First off, when I woke up, i felt something in my mouth....I realized it was a ventiliator and a bite block..I started trying to get the nurses attention by waving my hand and she came over there and asked me whats wrong and I pointed to my mouth ..she said is that bothering you? I shook my head, and she said squeeze me hand (2 c if i was alert) and then she told me the anes. would come in and take it off of me they had to page him......well i waited and waited and i finally reached my hand to the side and there was a table next to me and I started banging on it...next thing i knew they took the bite block out and i felt like i choked when the vent came out, ugh it was so bad!!!! then they wheeled me to a room....
as soon as i got to my room I had to Pee! I never had a catheter in me...cant beleive that..so the nurse came in and put a bed pan under me..I couldnt pee for nothing though!! It was so hard to push it hurt...the only pain I have had---YET---is a heavy feeling on my chest, like someone is sitting one it...its totally weird!! So I sat on the bedpan for well over an hour...just becasue I couldnt pee.lol.......well next time i had to pee I got my butt outta that bed....wow what a feeling!! I had some company that day but I slept through it....the next few days were ok....a little pain and discomfort, but I expected a lot more!!!!!
Of course my hubby stayed with me and after 2 nights my mom stayed with me the 3rd so he could go home to be with Lailah...My 2nd night there My Angel and Bestest friend in the whole wide world Leslie came and saw me (casey and Ryan also) I was super dooper excited to see them!!! yay I had company!
I hope and pray Loo has her surgery soon...so she can feel how weird this is,lol to eat a cracker and get full !! So keep her in your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mama and I came home on thursday and I have been doing really good....My mom has been such a big help to me the past few days, very thankful she has been here with me! I will update more when I have some more to write :) I hope you all have a great weekend and many kisses!!!
Brooke
I am home
Jun 14, 2006
June 15, 2006-Hi everyone!!! I am home!!!! Everything went wonderful....Little pain but its all gravy!!!! I will write more later about the hospital stay and everything...but thank you for all the prayers..and emails!!!!
You Know You Are A WLS Patient When: (Author Unknown)
Jun 11, 2006
saw this and thought it was really cute :
You Know You Are A WLS Patient When: (Author Unknown)
1. "I have a date" doesn't mean you are going out.
2. "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
3. "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have died.
4. New clothes fall off the next week.
5. You are excited about "hand me downs"
6. YOU have a NEW family!
7. Hitting the "Century Mark" is a good thing!
8. You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rugrats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma.
9. People start calling you tiny, and it's a good thing.
10. When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!!
11. When "No, I couldn't eat another bite" really has a deeper meaning!
12. When they look at you resentfully in the plus size store because you really don't belong there anymore!
13. When you have to prove you are you on your license!
14. When you start hogging the camera space and loving the pictures!
15. You want to hug everyone who is fat and give them your surgeon's card.
16. You are never without a bottle of water.
17. When people look surprised when they see how little you eat.
18. When you know all too well the definition of "dumping".
19. When you can see your feet for the first time in years!!
20. When you order a doggy bag the same time you order your meal.
21. When you count protein grams instead of calories.
22. You say "Oh, I won't have any of that, I'm full" and really mean it.
23. When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them in your bra & secure them with a pony-tail holder!!! (sorry for the visual guys!)
24. Having your husband say, "Honey, I can put my arm (not arms) all the way around you!!"
25. When you go to the mall and you park in the first open space instead of circling for 20 minutes for a spot by the door.
26. You go out on a date and are really truly a "Cheap date" and not in the way that some think.....
27. When one drink makes you a flipping floozy...
28. When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least you are running!
29. When your husband takes your breath away in a moment of passion...but not because he is squishing your tummy!
30. You feel like you have over eaten after eating half a cup of something.
31. Vitamins and calcium etc. feel like a meal.
32. When the chef comes out from the kitchen and asks you "what's the matter, don't you like the meal?"
33. You've just lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says .... "Gee, did you change your hairstyle?"
34. When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs.
35. You can cross your legs.
36. When you ask for a sample in the deli section of a grocery store and that's your meal.
37. When you say, "I just got these clothes last week and they're already too big!"
38. Trying to cash a check and the teller says, "That's not you!"
39. Instead of the "Wonder Bra" you need a "Wonder Where They Went Bra."
40. You walk into a store and see all the weight loss products and know you will never need to buy them again.
41. When you walk by a mirror and say to yourself "Who is that girl?"
42. When people take a double look at you.
43. When you go out for the evening and feel like Cinderella.
44. When your shoe size shrinks and you start buying shoes that tie.
45. When the steering wheel in your car no longer cuts off the circulation in your tummy area.
46. When you drop food, it no longer lands on your boobs, but actually lands in your lap.
47. You can avoid the handicap stalls in public restrooms because you can now "fit" in a regular stall.
48. The thought of fitting into an airline seat no longer sends you into a panic attack.
49. When your able to tuck a blouse into your pants.
50. When you are excited to be able to go to the thrift shops and get your dressy clothes.
51. When the flight attendant doesn't reach for the seat belt extender, and you can sit by the window.
52. When people actually "see" you and talk to you, and not through you like you are invisible.
53. When you order a child's meal, and take half of it home in a doggie bag.
54. When checking for leaks doesn't mean looking at your panties!!!
55. When your spandex shorts are used for *JOGGING*, and not merely as an anti-chaffing between-the-thighs-shielding-device.
56. When your exercise equipment isn't just for drying your fine washables anymore.
57. When your child or grandchild wants to sit on your lap-and they really can!
58. When your boyfriend/spouse starts gaining weight because of eating your leftovers.
59. When you can run up a flight of stairs and don't have to stand there for 10 minutes to catch your breath.
60. You can't wait to wake up and start your day.
61. Your butt gets tired of sitting because you have no padding.
62. You go out to eat and ask if anyone wants to split a kids meal.
63. When people you know but haven't seen since before surgery DON'T know you!
64. Having to get a new driver's license because you FINALLY weigh less that what you've lied about for years!
65. You are actually bold enough to admit your weight, and even post it on the internet!!!
66. You can eat 1/4 of a chicken breast and feel like you just finished Thanksgiving dinner.
67. You actually look forward to stepping on a set of scales!
68. You are not embarrassed of anything that you have in your cart at the supermarket!
69. When you're no longer embarrassed to tell people you weigh 200 pounds (and that you weighed over 300).
70. When you will tell complete strangers intimate details of your toileting experiences.
71. Being able to hang clothes in the closet without them falling off the hanger.
72. Exercise is a good thing.
73. You leave Costco feeling like you've left an all you can eat buffet (all those free samples!).
74. When you call Lane Bryant and Catherines and ask them to take you off their list and cancel your credit card.
75. When you spend a day in your room trying on clothes you shoved to the back of the closet/dresser.
76. You buy 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total groceries.
77. Your rings keep spinning around your fingers.
78. Using all those Goodwill and Salvation Army receipts at income tax time for all the clothes you've donated!
You Know You Are A WLS Patient When: (Author Unknown)
1. "I have a date" doesn't mean you are going out.
2. "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
3. "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have died.
4. New clothes fall off the next week.
5. You are excited about "hand me downs"
6. YOU have a NEW family!
7. Hitting the "Century Mark" is a good thing!
8. You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rugrats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma.
9. People start calling you tiny, and it's a good thing.
10. When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!!
11. When "No, I couldn't eat another bite" really has a deeper meaning!
12. When they look at you resentfully in the plus size store because you really don't belong there anymore!
13. When you have to prove you are you on your license!
14. When you start hogging the camera space and loving the pictures!
15. You want to hug everyone who is fat and give them your surgeon's card.
16. You are never without a bottle of water.
17. When people look surprised when they see how little you eat.
18. When you know all too well the definition of "dumping".
19. When you can see your feet for the first time in years!!
20. When you order a doggy bag the same time you order your meal.
21. When you count protein grams instead of calories.
22. You say "Oh, I won't have any of that, I'm full" and really mean it.
23. When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them in your bra & secure them with a pony-tail holder!!! (sorry for the visual guys!)
24. Having your husband say, "Honey, I can put my arm (not arms) all the way around you!!"
25. When you go to the mall and you park in the first open space instead of circling for 20 minutes for a spot by the door.
26. You go out on a date and are really truly a "Cheap date" and not in the way that some think.....
27. When one drink makes you a flipping floozy...
28. When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least you are running!
29. When your husband takes your breath away in a moment of passion...but not because he is squishing your tummy!
30. You feel like you have over eaten after eating half a cup of something.
31. Vitamins and calcium etc. feel like a meal.
32. When the chef comes out from the kitchen and asks you "what's the matter, don't you like the meal?"
33. You've just lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says .... "Gee, did you change your hairstyle?"
34. When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs.
35. You can cross your legs.
36. When you ask for a sample in the deli section of a grocery store and that's your meal.
37. When you say, "I just got these clothes last week and they're already too big!"
38. Trying to cash a check and the teller says, "That's not you!"
39. Instead of the "Wonder Bra" you need a "Wonder Where They Went Bra."
40. You walk into a store and see all the weight loss products and know you will never need to buy them again.
41. When you walk by a mirror and say to yourself "Who is that girl?"
42. When people take a double look at you.
43. When you go out for the evening and feel like Cinderella.
44. When your shoe size shrinks and you start buying shoes that tie.
45. When the steering wheel in your car no longer cuts off the circulation in your tummy area.
46. When you drop food, it no longer lands on your boobs, but actually lands in your lap.
47. You can avoid the handicap stalls in public restrooms because you can now "fit" in a regular stall.
48. The thought of fitting into an airline seat no longer sends you into a panic attack.
49. When your able to tuck a blouse into your pants.
50. When you are excited to be able to go to the thrift shops and get your dressy clothes.
51. When the flight attendant doesn't reach for the seat belt extender, and you can sit by the window.
52. When people actually "see" you and talk to you, and not through you like you are invisible.
53. When you order a child's meal, and take half of it home in a doggie bag.
54. When checking for leaks doesn't mean looking at your panties!!!
55. When your spandex shorts are used for *JOGGING*, and not merely as an anti-chaffing between-the-thighs-shielding-device.
56. When your exercise equipment isn't just for drying your fine washables anymore.
57. When your child or grandchild wants to sit on your lap-and they really can!
58. When your boyfriend/spouse starts gaining weight because of eating your leftovers.
59. When you can run up a flight of stairs and don't have to stand there for 10 minutes to catch your breath.
60. You can't wait to wake up and start your day.
61. Your butt gets tired of sitting because you have no padding.
62. You go out to eat and ask if anyone wants to split a kids meal.
63. When people you know but haven't seen since before surgery DON'T know you!
64. Having to get a new driver's license because you FINALLY weigh less that what you've lied about for years!
65. You are actually bold enough to admit your weight, and even post it on the internet!!!
66. You can eat 1/4 of a chicken breast and feel like you just finished Thanksgiving dinner.
67. You actually look forward to stepping on a set of scales!
68. You are not embarrassed of anything that you have in your cart at the supermarket!
69. When you're no longer embarrassed to tell people you weigh 200 pounds (and that you weighed over 300).
70. When you will tell complete strangers intimate details of your toileting experiences.
71. Being able to hang clothes in the closet without them falling off the hanger.
72. Exercise is a good thing.
73. You leave Costco feeling like you've left an all you can eat buffet (all those free samples!).
74. When you call Lane Bryant and Catherines and ask them to take you off their list and cancel your credit card.
75. When you spend a day in your room trying on clothes you shoved to the back of the closet/dresser.
76. You buy 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total groceries.
77. Your rings keep spinning around your fingers.
78. Using all those Goodwill and Salvation Army receipts at income tax time for all the clothes you've donated!
evening before surgery
Jun 10, 2006
evening before surgery~ Ok well only a few more hours and I will be on my way!! I had my enema...it didnt work on me to good...SO I sent rickey to walmart to get me another one...to make sure I get it alllllll OUT! whoohooo I know, right,lol.....Sooo the nerves are working up now more than ever!!
Well I guess I will go, but before I do...Please pray for me, as I know with any operation anything can happen! Thank you everyone who has supported me on this site, it has been wonderful! Leslie I love ya G...and you are going to be right behind me...and we can order our leafs of lettuce together!!! well share them!!! lol...Love ya!!! See ya later!
Well I guess I will go, but before I do...Please pray for me, as I know with any operation anything can happen! Thank you everyone who has supported me on this site, it has been wonderful! Leslie I love ya G...and you are going to be right behind me...and we can order our leafs of lettuce together!!! well share them!!! lol...Love ya!!! See ya later!
June 11, 2006
Jun 10, 2006
June 11, 2006~
morning before surgery.....I am less than 24 hrs away from my surgey...I ammm sooooooooo nervous,lol ! I cannot wait to get all this behind me and get on with the life I have always wanted to live.... I started my bowel prep last night..I had to take a laxative, it didnt hit me until this morning though , so I am having fun this morning =) I have to take my enema tonight -Um YAY! So I can get all cleansed out!! Ain't nothing like a clean colon..I am on a liquid diet today and its only 8:45am and I am already complaining.... I know its b.c I cannot eat what I want to, lol...but I am drinking so it wont be to bad, and I can have crackers and soup and jello ...crap like that...Small price I have to pay I guess....I will write more tonight ...Bye for now!!!!
morning before surgery.....I am less than 24 hrs away from my surgey...I ammm sooooooooo nervous,lol ! I cannot wait to get all this behind me and get on with the life I have always wanted to live.... I started my bowel prep last night..I had to take a laxative, it didnt hit me until this morning though , so I am having fun this morning =) I have to take my enema tonight -Um YAY! So I can get all cleansed out!! Ain't nothing like a clean colon..I am on a liquid diet today and its only 8:45am and I am already complaining.... I know its b.c I cannot eat what I want to, lol...but I am drinking so it wont be to bad, and I can have crackers and soup and jello ...crap like that...Small price I have to pay I guess....I will write more tonight ...Bye for now!!!!
jUNE 6~ 2006
Jun 05, 2006
jUNE 6~ 2006~ oK, SO now that I have what like 6 days until surgery time I cannot make myself get off this website.. I am constantly reading up on everything, trying to prepare myself for what to expect! I know I am gonna hurt really bad, but I think I am somewhat of a stronf big mama and I think I can handle the physical pain....So bring it on!! lol...
This time next year I think I will be about 100lbs lighter and hoping to feel great!! There are so many things I just cannot wait to do...I cannot wait to go to a normal store and buy normal clothes! Well 1st off--notice my pics below, if you dont know me- you may notice I am wearing a JACKET in every picture...I want to be able to burn the damn thing!!! I hate it!! I do honestly though, feel naked without it!!! I mean, when I hang out @ home and I dont wear it, I feel as if everyone is staring at me and just gauking at my biggness! So oneday I want to take that thang off and be proud of the body God has givin me!! My grandma tells me all the time, that I should be happy with what God has given me, because there are ppl out there who look a lot worse-not just weight wise, but other physical things that they are ashamed of- So I try and understand that sometimes, but I cant bring myself to love my body~ Ummm no~ Its so nasty,lol....but anyways, I am counting my days down!!!!
June 5, 2006
Jun 04, 2006
June 5, 2006~ Ok So my surgery is exactly one week away today! Next Monday!! I am nervous, anxious, scared as hell, ready to get it over with FO'SHO!!! LOL....I have waited for this for so many years and now that its here I am so scared. But I am goin to do what I have to do to have a healther life... I am so miserable like I am right now...I want to feel free.. and the way I am now I feel like I am a prisoner in my own skin...its awful!! There is so much life in me ..and I want to enjoy that life! I feel as if I havent even lived yet...well not the best years ! So I am ready to live !!!!
June 1, 2006
May 31, 2006
June 1, 2006~ Hi everyone just writing to say I had to rescedule my surgery for June 12th not May 23rd...due to some things at home!
mAY 17, 2006
May 15, 2006
mAY 17, 2006~ Hi everyone!!! I know it has been like forever since I have updated, but I never had anything to write about until now.....So after 6 years of trying to get approved for gastric bypass, I am finally going to go ahead and cash pay...hubby won a lawsuit so I am able to do this!! My date is June 12th!!! It was May 23rd, but due to some other situations we had we are having to move it up..... I m so excited!!! I know I have the money to do this, but am scared to death something will fall through and for some strange reason I will not get to...lol....It's just that-This is life and I know things happen at the worst times!!! So if God willing I will be on the losing side in less than a month.....we have so much going on right now.......We are buying a new home soon.... YAY !!! It is beautiful!! We are suppose to be closing on it the 23rd of this month...and be moving on the 26th....plus we are buyin lots of new appliances and stuff so we just have our plate real full right now.......Moving my surgery day was good, that way I can get good and snuggled into my new house......So I have a lot of weight to shed---and I am ready to start this journey!!!!! My surgeon is wonderful in every aspect, I know soooo many ppl that have used him not including 4 of my own family members....so I trust him with my life!!!!! For a split second I was consdiering Laproscopic ...for many reasons....1st less down time 2nd I thought it may be cheaper........But in the long run, I had to do what I am familiar with and I feel safer with.....My bestest friend Leslie is wanting to have laproscopic by Dr Barnes, she has been let down so much by them stupid insuance companies....they are going to try and get her approved here again pretty soon....God knows I wish she could have it so bad!!! I want her to be happy!!! It is sooooo devastating to go through everything and get all worked up about something so lifechanging and be let down!!! Damn Insurance comps!!!!!
I go for all my preops on June 2nd.....I will be going to Doctors Hospital In Shreveport, Louisiana....so I will update soon after everything calms down after moving!!!! Until then!!!!!!
Kisses~ Brooke
About Me
Carthage, TX
Location
23.1
BMI
Surgery
06/12/2006
Surgery Date
Aug 14, 2005
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
ME AND MY DAUGHTER
Lailah Katherine, Mommy & my hubby Rickey
