blynne

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Ok, it is 2008 and I feel absolutely Great!  I did fantastic through the holidays with my eating. I stayed focused and guess what, I survived not having to eat so much that I felt miserable! I am fastly approaching my 1 year out, in 3 months I will be 1 year out. I haven't weighed myself in a while, I plan to weigh in on Monday at the gym to see how my progress is going.  I know though that I must still be losing as my jeans tell me so.  I am not wearing a size 2 or 4 depending on the brand and small and medium shirts! I feel great! I am getting hit on by guys who would never have given me the time of day before and with them hitting on me, it makes my husband more aware of our relationship and he is putting much more effort into it! I can't believe I went from a size 20-22 to a size 2-4 in less than a year, that just blows my mind!  I can't believe how good I feel and the energy level I have.  Again I say anyone who is contemplating this surgery, I say go for it, you have nothing to lose except the fat that is smothering the person who is inside of you trying to get out! Good luck to all who are preparing to make this decision in your life and if you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them for you.

well Thanksgiving is over and I feel I did rather well. That of course in part to not having to go to any family gatherings. It was a quite thanksgiving for us, just the 5 of us. I didn't feel as though I over ate and I didn't have the hurting feeling that I sometimes do after eating, so I know that I did good on the food issue.  However, I don't know why or what is making me feel this way, but today I feel like I am FAT and nothing fits me right and I am wanting to eat and eat and eat cause I am feeling weird, I don't exactly know what I am feeling, I just know it is a feeling that I am wanting to cater to by filling it with food, when I know that is not going to make me feel any better, but it will trigger the circle of guilt!  Some of it might be the stress of the holidays, I have taken on yet another job, so that is 3 jobs for me now, I am feeling like life is pretty much work, and sleep and I feel I am in a downward spiral about to crash fast!  I haven't been able to go work out at the gym now for several days, I think it actually has been 2 weeks. UGH! I made a promise to myself that no matter what I would not stop working out and look at me, about to committ to the same failure I was before surgery.  How do I stop the old cycle I am so used to doing? Why am I being attacked like this? Why am I letting something like a feeling come over me take my joy away from me?????? I am praying about it, but I feel as though my prayers are hitting the ceiling and bouncing right back to me.  If any of you read this out there, and you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please say a prayer for me, I can't go back to that vicious circle I once was living in. you know the one...I eat cause I am unhappy, I am unhappy cause I eat....that one!

Well, I am over half way to my goal. I have posted a picture of me in my photos, I am standing with my daughter who is 16 and by the way she is upset that I am smaller than her now and can wear a lot of her clothes! lol! I am feeling fantastic! I have done one thing that I am so upset at myself for. I tried some M&M's and found that they did fine, so one day I bet I took 15-20 here and there and ate them. Today I am disgusted in myself and vow to not go there again. I have even left them out to test me...3:30pm and so far so good! I WILL NOT go back to that slavery food had over me!  I go for labs again the 18th of Oct. hoping to find all is still well with me and that I am on goal for the weight loss.  I started this journey at 210 lbs the day of surgery, and as of 7 months later I am down to 132lbs. I still have a goal of wanting to weigh about 108-110lbs. I know that sounds small, but I am a very small frame woman and short! lol!  My husband is truely enjoying me getting back to the woman he married...the fun, flirtatious person that I was!  I enjoy getting looks when we go out (now they aren't looks of oh my gosh what is that good looking guy doing with that fat woman!) I actually got hit on about a month ago and my husband just enjoyed seeing my face light up about that! I of course told him I was married immediatly, but he still said I was very beautiful and if I wasn't married he would for sure persue me! And he was YOUNG and handsome! I loved it!  I still have feelings of failure and I don't know what I will be like if I step on the scale and find I have gained that rebound 5-10lbs they talk about. I am sure I will panick and go overboard on the excersing. I get nervous too that I can eat about 6 oz at a meal now, I don't think I should be eating that much I am going to gain, but I know protein is important and fruits and vegetables are too. I have to say I am so looking forward to going to my husbands Christmas party this year and wearing the "little black dress".... no one will know who I am and they will think my hubby has a new woman, which really he just has his old one back finally!  I hope this encourages all who reads it. Even me as I look back at it. 

I am 3 months out from surgery as of June 2nd, 2007! I feel GREAT and I have lost 70lbs so far. All my blood work has come back excellent, and I am no longer type 2 diabetic, I no longer have to take blood pressure medicine, I no longer have migrains, and the best part is I feel GREAT....oh did I mention that I feel GREAT! lol! I love being able to wake up early each morning go to the gym work out and go to work and not feel sluggish or tired at all. I actually enjoy working out...hmmm, who would have thought that I of all people would like to be physically active?? I know I was when I was young and thin, but I thought those days were over, it hurt too bad and I couldn't ever breath very good....not the case anymore, I feel GREAT!

To all who check out my blog...do the surgery, be positive, and most of all begin to feel GREAT!

I am so excited! I just got my approval from insurance to go ahead with the roux en y surgery. Next step to meet with the surgeon. I am so excited and scared at the same time.  Can anyone comment if they felt the same way and how did you get over the fear and go ahead with it? 

I am new at all this, so if there is anyone out there will to be a friend and help me along, I would greatly appriciate it.  thank you.